Link Love (20/11/2012)

Savita Halappanavar

This breaks my heart and makes me absolutely furious: ““This is a Catholic country” was what Irish doctors told Savita Halappanavar after she learned she was miscarrying her pregnancy and asked for an abortion to avoid further complications. She spent three days in agonizing pain, eventually shaking, vomiting and passing out. She again asked for an abortion and was refused, because the fetus still had a heartbeat.
Then she died.
She died of septicaemia and E.Coli. She died after three and a half days of excruciating pain. She died after repeatedly begging for an end to the pregnancy that was poisoning her. Her death would have been avoided if she had been given an abortion when she asked for it — when it was clear she was miscarrying, and that non-intervention would put her at risk. But the fetus, which had no chance of survival, still had a heartbeat. Its right to life quite literally trumped hers.” Woman dies after being denied medically necessary abortion – Feministe

My take: RIP Savita Halappanavar – Woman Dies in Ireland After Being Refused a Medically Necessary Abortion

“This isn’t far away. This isn’t a long time ago. This is here and this is now. This is hours or minutes away from our everyday lives. This is what Ireland is. We are a country that forces women to die preventable deaths in agony. We are a country that calls this ‘pro-life’.” My country kills women – Consider the Tea Cosy

“Conservatives love to wing-it when it comes to the science of the female body and what is and isn’t medically viable. Perhaps those that advocate for no access to abortion, under any circumstances whatsoever, believe women have some kind of magical ability to “shut the whole thing down” when they are faced with a life threatening pregnancy. Perhaps that is the case in Ireland, a Catholic country where abortion is illegal. Or maybe they believe a woman deserves to die when she can’t carry her pregnancy to term–that’s all I can think of that would justify allowing a woman to drop dead after three days of agonizing pain because her pregnancy had become toxic and was killing her.” A woman dies in Ireland after being denied medically necessary abortion – Feministing

“I also wrote about Catholic hospitals. Whenever we traveled during my pregnancy, I harbored a fear that the nearest hospital – or possibly the only hospital in the area – might be a Catholic one. I felt very sure that if I were to go into a Catholic hospital with complications or while miscarrying, the doctors there would not be thinking of my health first and foremost. And as a young woman with my whole life ahead of me, and also a wife and at the time already the mother of a toddler, this reality was frightening.” Savita Halappanavar: When “Pro-Life” Means Death – Love, Joy, Feminism

News Across the World

Afghanistan: “A disturbing spate of violent attacks against women has gripped western Afghanistan, where over a dozen women have been killed this year.” Afghan Woman’s Beheading Latest in Alarming Trend – RFERL

Egypt: “During the uprising that toppled Egyptian dictator Hosni Mubarak women stood shoulder to shoulder with men in Cairo’s Tahrir Square, pressing the revolution’s demands for freedom, justice and dignity. But those who hoped the revolution would make them equal partners in Egypt’s future claim they may be worse off now than under Mubarak’s authoritarian rule.” Egypt Revolution Makes It Worse for Women – IPS

Pakistan: “Practice of gifting girls in marriage to settle tribal disputes haunts areas with limited government oversight.” Child brides blot tribal Pakistan – Al Jazeera

Thought-provoking

“Alright, kids, today we are gonna discuss Serious Business. That is the business of consent. Now, I’m not talking about rape, rape is a separate issue and if you are looking for some advice about that, I suggest calling the Crisis Hotline. I’m not qualified to help you out there.
What I am talking about is being pressured into doing something that you are either not into, or just plain not comfortable with. This happens all the time, you guys, and it’s A Shame. Right now, people all over the world are engaging in sex acts that they kind of would rather not have anything to do with, and they are doing it to make their partner’s happy.” Saying No – Gaelick

“If you have reached the age of 25, I have a bit of bad news for you, to wit: it is time, if you have not already done so, for you to emerge from your cocoon of post-adolescent dithering and self-absorption and join the rest of us in the world. Past the quarter-century mark, you see, certain actions, attitudes, and behaviors will simply no longer do, and while it might seem unpleasant to feign a maturity and solicitousness towards others that you may not genuinely feel, it is not only appreciated by others but necessary for your continued survival. Continuing to insist past that point that good manners, thoughtfulness, and grooming oppress you in some way is inappropriate and irritating.
Grow up.” 25 and Over – Tomato Nation

“For years, I thought time management was about time. So when I planned how to spend my time, I would look at my calendar and book up the vacant hours.
Those plans worked on paper–but I couldn’t follow through in real life. Because time management isn’t just about time: it’s also about energy.” 3 Time Management Rules I Wish I’d Learned 10 Years Ago – Modern Mrs Darcy

“Even if you could prove that being fat makes me unhealthy (which you can’t). And even if you had a method that was scientifically proven to lead to successful long term weight loss  (which you don’t). And even if there was proof that losing weight would make me healthier (which there isn’t). And even if you were going to go around yelling at smokers, drinkers, jay walkers, and thin people who don’t exercise (which you aren’t) this slope is still too slippery.  And that doesn’t take into account the reality that your premise is completely flawed, your assumptions are faulty, and your method of shaming people is utterly ineffective since you can’t make someone hate themselves healthy.
So I think it would be dandy if you would just shut up.” Your Money and My Fat Ass – Dances With Fat

“It’s always better to look at actions than words. If someone says that they’re committed to being healthy, but then they order a fat stack of pancakes… well, maybe they’re not so committed after all. Recently I’ve been thinking about this truism in terms of goals and priorities. Your priorities are what they look like.” What Your Priorities Are  – Tynan

“For kids/adults with attachment issues that stem from inconsistence from the adults in their lives, abuse, emotional coldness, what we tend to be up against is a child/adult who begins to act out when the relationship starts developing intimacy.  Trust and closeness for kids from severely abusive backgrounds is dangerous.  It is when the professional begins to feel the connection, and knows that the kid is beginning to care – that we will see extreme behaviors:  Stealing from us, breaking things, becoming aggressive, and attempting to destruct the relationship by making us give up on them due to their bad behaviors – is all quite normal for a child who has never been able to safely love or be loved.  This is when the professional has to dig in, not take it personal, and understand the process that is taking place.   People who never formed healthy attachments want it and fear it at the same time.  There are many ways this is expressed.  Some kids yearn for physical closeness and will attempt to hold our hands, hug us, sit in our laps, always want to touch us or be near us – yet cannot handle us touching them at all.  Some kids will attempt to reject us, yet the entire time secretly are yearning for us to “break through” to them and hold them or pursue them.  Others are a mix of all these symptoms, yet when we see these symptoms we know what the general reasons for it are.” How to Love – Rooted In Being

Religion

“What Debi is doing here is sick. She is explaining that women are to obey their husbands as they are to obey God – absolutely and without question – and that by obeying their husbands, they are obeying God. In other words, God has created women to be helpers for their husbands and commanded them to obey, honor, and reverence their husbands.
No. Just, no. I mean, isn’t this blaspheming or something? It’s placing man in the place of God. It’s demanding that man be treated as God. It’s sick and it’s wrong.” CTBHH: In Which Debi Twists Scripture – Love, Joy, Feminism

“People like Lewis Smedes and Carl F.H. Henry remain revered figures in evangelical history, but if they were saying publicly today what they said publicly about abortion in their lifetimes, they would be excommunicated and shunned as heretics.” Revisionist memory: White evangelicals have always been at war with abortion – Love, Joy, Feminism

Equality

“Schwyzer seems to inspire one of two reactions from people: either blind devotion or intense hatred. If you ask his “haters” about Schwyzer, they’ll paint a portrait of an abusive, racist, murdering misogynist. They see a man who has used his past transgressions to his advantage to co-opt the feminist movement. If you ask his fans, or at how he represents himself on his Facebook page or website, you’ll see a picture of a rabid feminist, a sober rehabilitated man, a loving father and husband. He left the Good Men Project because they supported MRAs (men’s rights advocates). He helped organize SlutWalk and at his speech says things that if they would come out of the mouth of pretty much anyone else, we all would immediately agree with.” Deconstructing Hugo – Persephone Magazine

“In fact, it’s really not all that hard once you give up the idea that women are this mysterious “other” and accept that they’re folks, same as you and I, who may have different plumbing and hormonal development but are ultimately working from the same brain templates.” Understanding Women – Paging Dr. NerdLove

“On October 3, researchers at the Washington University School of Medicine published a study with profound implications for policy making in the United States. According to Dr. Jeffery Peipert, the study’s lead author, abortion rates can be expected to decline significantly—perhaps up to 75 percent—when contraceptives are made available to women free of charge.” Barack Obama, Pro-Life Hero – Religion Dispatches

Health

Paleo Recipes Non-Paleos Will Love – PaleoNonPaleo

Come Rain, Come Shine: 10 Key Items For Your Winter Care Kit – The Freedom Experiment

10 Ways to Boost Your Energy and Vitality – Care2

Cinnamon Chocolate Chip Muffins with Honey Frosting – Civilized Caveman Cooking Creations

Beauty & Body Image

“When Reckitt Benckiser Group (RB/) brought its Veet hair-removal cream to China in 2005, sales were sluggish. Its prices were considered too high and its product sizes too large. But the biggest problem: Most Chinese women don’t have much body hair, and those who do didn’t worry about it. So the company embraced a new marketing plan. Reckitt Benckiser rolled out ads equating hair-free skin with health, confidence, and “shining glory.” In the process, the company has helped make many Chinese women more conscious of every stray follicle. “It’s not how much hair you have, it’s how much you think you have,” says Aditya Sehgal, the company’s China chief. “If your concern level is high enough, even one hair is too much.”” Convincing Women in China They’re Too Hairy – Businessweek

Beauty Archetypes: Witches – Wild Beauty

“Most conspiracy theories make me giggle. I’m a pretty open-minded gal, but the notion that the moon landing was faked strikes me as downright bizarre. However, I do believe that most major cosmetics and personal care products companies actively conspire against women. These corporations strive to manufacture discontent among women to convince them to buy new products, more products, complex systems of products to combat our apparent flaws. In many cases, the conspiracy goes even deeper, getting women hooked on certain cosmetics or procedures as mere gateways, eventually revealing that more costly versions will yield even better results. It’s a system that not only convinces women we’re undeniably imperfect, but also snows us into believing that our “imperfections” can be cured with products. And, of course, bales of money.
So I find myself seething with frustration at the discovery that, in many cases, paying more for beauty products and services actually DOES make a difference. Often times, the more expensive option is the better one. Not always, of course, but far more often than I’d prefer.” Sometimes paying more for beauty products DOES make a difference – Already Pretty

“While it’s important to address the overwhelming push for thinness purported by our media, the current curvy ideal can also bring up feelings of inadequacy. Christina Hendricks of Mad Men has said, “Anytime someone talks about your figure constantly, you get nervous, you get really self-conscious. I was working my butt off on the show, and then all anyone was talking about was my body!” The “love your curves” movement has been spearheaded by image after image that fail to acknowledge the elephant in the room — fat in the “wrong” places is still unacceptable.” Skinny, Curvy, and Still Not Fitting the Mold – Adios Barbie

“And here’s the secret of it all: it’s not a linear path. Awareness moves to acceptance moves to love and back and forth and over again.
“Love Your Body!” they say.
“Okay, but it’s a practice,” I respond.” Body awareness, body acceptance, body love – Roots of She

Inspirational

Suggestions for Savoring Solitude – World of Psychology

13 Tips for Being Happy in Your New Home – The Happiness Project

Professional

How to Win Business With Great Stories that Sell – Sales Gravy

Avoid TMI When Calling in Sick – The Billfold

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