Link Love (26/02/2013)

Thought-provoking

Polyamory: slicin’ and dicin’? – Consider the Tea Cosy

Excellent advice: #450: How to tighten up your game at work when you’re depressed – Captain Awkward

“So ever so slowly, I’ve built myself a toolbox full of tricks to keep myself going, regardless of how I feel or what my jerkbrain is yammering on about at the moment. None of them are magic bullets–I still don’t always get as much done as I’d like, particularly when the brain chemicals are just really not cooperating–but they help.  Maintaining some sense of forward progress is one of the best ways to talk back to your jerkbrain… and everyone’s brains are mean to them every once in awhile.  So without further ado, a (probably incomplete) list of my anti-procrastination/anti-negativity tricks.” How to keep moving forward, even when your brain hates you – a little dose of keelium

Not that Kind of Person – Tynan

“You see, happiness is a choice, but we sometimes forget. There are plenty of things in life that are less than perfect and we could just as easily choose to be happy or unhappy about them. A trait that many happy people share is the ability to accept things as they are. While we don’t have control over everything that happens in the outside world, we can control what happens inside of us: how we choose to think, feel and react to those outside situations. The quality of our lives is determined by those very thoughts and actions. So, why do some deny the truth that we all can have and deserve peace and happiness? Because, flipping the switch can actually be difficult at first, especially when no other way is known.” Dawn Gluskin: Are Positive People Annoying? – Huffington Post

The Four Habits that Form Habits – Zen Habits

Religion

“So yes, Debi is literally threatening women with madness if they refuse to follow her marriage advice, telling them that if they refuse to submit to their husbands, they will go mad. And she’s also telling them that if they think they can approach their spirituality independently, or interpret and study the Bible for themselves, they are practicing witchcraft and God will punish them by rendering them insane. Don’t think,Debi is telling these women. Don’t read or pray or reason on your own. Just obey your husband and God will be happy with you. Oh, and smile!” CTBHHM: Else God Will Drive You Mad (Literally) – Love, Joy, Feminism

“But, demographically speaking, personal suffering doesn’t actually seem to cause disbelief, at least in our day and age. In fact, the poorest and most deprived regions of the world tend to be highly religious (for instance, subsaharan Africa and India), while the richest areas are increasingly secular (for instance, Sweden, France, and the northeastern United States). This phenomenon – that people who suffer are more religious than those who don’t – has spawned a so-called “religious comfort model” in the social sciences that claims that religious faith gives people the psychological resources they need to cope with adversity. Those who don’t have many problems just don’t have much need for religion – hence the relative godlessness of most wealthy countries.” Does suffering drive us to religion? Yep. – Science on Religion

“One reason that many evangelicals continue to believe that there is a connection between homosexuality and child molesting is that it is convenient. First of course is the desire to support the idea that homosexuality is an abomination by “scientifically” lumping it together with all manner of other “perversions,” but that’s no the sum of it. While mainstream science is starting to erode their conviction, evangelicals have long contended that people are not born gay, but are made gay, and also that gay people can become straight. One way they posit that gay people become gay is through childhood sexual abuse. In other words, the idea is that gay people became gay by being molested as children, and then they grow up and molest children themselves, thus turning them gay. With this narrative in mind, the argument that gay people “recruit” children takes on a whole new meaning.” Evangelicals, Homosexuals and Child Molesters – Love, Joy, Feminism

Equality

“Dame Helen Mirren is tired of being asked for an explanation of her failure to have children. In her Vogue interview she said – and who would disagree? – that women should not be made to feel that there is something wrong with them if they don’t have children.” Helen Mirren confronts the final female taboo – Telegraph

24 Lies People Like to Tell Women – Thought Catalog

“On the homepage of this website, there is a quote from Gloria Steinem, “We’ve begun to raise daughters more like sons…but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters.” I must have seen it a thousand times, but I am only now beginning to understand what a truly revolutionary idea it is. The good news is that even for those us who failed to display that courage, it is never too late to respond to our sons as we would our daughters, to include them in our confidences and to pass our traditions through them.” Do We Have the Courage to Raise Our Sons More Like Our Daughters? – Role / Reboot

Feelings Aren’t Facts: Living Out Friendships Between Men and Women – Hugo Schwyzer

 

This shows two things:

 

  • First, there are no societies with high fertility and low gender inequality.
  • Second, there is a range of gender inequality among the low-fertility countries.

Let’s Not Panic Over Women With More Education Having Fewer Kids – Philip Cohen – The Atlantic

Health

The Worst Cleaning Jobs Made Easy – Real Simple

“As expected, those in the treatment group had a significant lowering of total and LDL cholesterol concentrations, which the original investigators assumed would therefore lead to the prevention of cardiovascular death. However, when accounting for previously lost data, this new analysis found that the intervention group instructed to eat more linoleic acid (n-6 PUFAs) actually had a higher risk of all cause mortality, as well as a higher risk of mortality from cardiovascular disease and coronary heart disease, than the group who received no dietary instructions.” For a healthy heart, stick to butter – Chris Kresser

Why cholesterol and saturated fat isn’t the enemy: Dr. Oz and the Great Cholesterol Myth – Humans Are Not Broken

Cleaning Your Cutting Board! – Clean My Space

Quick and Easy Way to Clean Your Oven Without Chemicals – Cook It Allergy Free

Top 10 Favorite Herbs and Spices – Mark’s Daily Apple

Recipes

Paleo Cinnamon Rolls – A Girl Worth Saving

Gordon Ramsay’s Scrambled Eggs Will Change Your Life – Humans Are Not Broken

Sourdough buckwheat pancakes – Chris Kresser

A Simple Recipe for Winter: Roasted Cabbage – Nourished Kitchen

Beauty & Body Image

“Women can’t win when it comes to fashion. They must dress with style, yet are called shallow when they spend too much” The feminist case for Fashion Week – Jill Filipovic – Guardian

“When someone says “You look nice today” or “Thanks for your work, it was very good and I appreciate it” and you try to dodge and weave and deny what they said, like “Oh, this old thing?” or “It wasn’t that good really” you’re basically saying “You have terrible taste and are stupid for noticing nice things about me.” You’re being rude. You’re making the other person stop their day and take care of your feelings – whether it be low self-esteem or a self-esteem so high that you’re like Superman – “No need to thank me, saving the day is just my default natural state because I am so awesome.” And what is going to happen if you dodge or deflect the compliment is pretty much exactly what you don’t want to happen – the other person will now try to convince you of your greatness, and you will be the one who has made it super-weird, and a 10-second “You’re great/Thanks!” exchange wil now become a 10-minute Dance of Awkward. You did a nice thing for the person. Let them complete the ancient gifter/recipient circuit and say thank you.” #448: How do I accept compliments? – Captain Awkward

“The moral of this story isn’t, “You should totally get a Brazilian because once you try it, you’ll like it!” That was my experience but it wouldn’t necessarily be yours. But I did learn a couple things from my adventures in pubis. I learned that there is a difference between rejecting a trend because it doesn’t work for you and rejecting it specifically because it is a trend. I also realized that sometimes it is possible to participate in a practice while still looking at it through a critical lens.” Do you feel pressure to go Brazilian when it comes to pubic hair? – Already Pretty

The Origins of Wearing Your Heart on Your Sleeve – Threaded

Inspirational

“You are good enough. Most people are afraid to do things because they are afraid they’re not good enough, afraid they’ll fail. But you are good enough — learn that and you won’t be afraid of new things, won’t be afraid to fail, won’t need the approval of others. You’ll be pre-approved — by yourself.” Advice to My Kids – Zen Habits

“If you’re anything like me, loving these messy, messy parts may be some of the most healing – and challenging work – that we do. Because loving the parts of us that we think are bad, wrong, or “shouldn’t” be there goes against all human nature. And because of this, it is a powerful act of forgiveness, mercy, and love.” The healing power of loving your overeating self – First Ourselves

Professional

“That said, I believe networking is a skill that can be learned. It’s not just having an extroverted personality or natural charm. Some of the best networkers I know are actually somewhat introverted.” It’s Who You Know – Scott H Young

“Success in leadership is attributed not only to what you do; it is dependent on who you are. We set young leaders up to fall if we encourage them to envision what they can do before first considering the kind of kind of leader they want to be.” Angela Maiers: To-Be List for Aspiring Women Leaders – Huffington Post

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