Link Love (2013-03-16)

Thought-provoking

“When I meet someone, I consider how normal their life is. I do this not because it’s a one hundred percent accurate heuristic on how much I’ll respect someone, but because it’s damn close. If you have a totally normal life, then there are only two possibilities: you’ve thought through every aspect of your life and miraculously agree with society on each one, or you don’t think at all. I try not to associate with people who don’t think.” Isn’t it Convenient – Tynan

10 Surprising Marketing Tricks You Should Be Aware Of – Wise Bread

“People in abusive relationships are used to being told what to do and how to feel. They are also used to having a lot of drama – extremely high highs and low lows – as normal. An abuser will try to convince a victim that their feelings aren’t real or don’t matter. And they will try to convince them that really outlandish, not okay behaviors are normal and okay. And that it’s normal & expected to have screaming fights, or be constantly dealing with cheating & jealousy & control, or to have sex when you don’t really want to. An abuser’s message is: This is normal and also the best you can ever expect from life. If you told other people, they wouldn’t believe you.” #454: Darth Vader is a tricksy hobbit – Captain Awkward

How Much Should Women Save for Retirement? – Corporette

Shabana Basij-Rasikh: Dare to educate Afghan girls – TED

Religion

I Hugged Dating Hello, Part V: Developing Intellectual Intimacy – Love, Joy, Feminism

“So why do atheists get accused of being especially prone towards calling believers stupid? Quite often atheists refrain entirely from calling anyone stupid and nonetheless get accused of doing so just because they argued that believers’ views were both false and distinctly illogical in character. In these cases, believers find it easier to feel offended at being made uncomfortable by having the absurdity of what they think made explicit than to actual face up to the shortcomings of their thinking. In particular this is exacerbated over the cases of other kinds of beliefs because unlike, say, contestable political beliefs or other kinds of philosophical views, typically it is only with religious beliefs that people are defending things they admit themselves they do not have adequate evidence for and which do not make complete sense.” How I’d Answer the Charge that Atheists Call Believers Stupid Too Often – Camels With Hammers

“This is also about the way evangelicals’ single-minded focus on whether or not a sex occurs within marriage blinds them to the vast difference between consensual sex and rape, and to the difference between healthy sexual relationships and unhealthy sexual relationships. Think back to Dobson’s concern about having teenage boys babysit because “there is so much going on sexually within males at that age.” Dobson appears to think that the fact that many (most?) teenage boys would give their right hands for a girlfriend and the chance to have consensual premarital sex means that these same boys would just as readily channel their sexual energies into sexually molesting children. When the only thing you tell teenage boys about sex is to say “no,” and when you also view teenage boys as under a constant barrage of fire from colossal sexual urges, you lose the ability to see that the fact that a teenage boy would gladly have sex with a willing teenage girl if given a chance does not mean he would also gladly sexually abuse a child if given the chance.” Teenage Boys and Pedophilia: Evangelical Purity Teachings Blur the Line – Love, Joy, Feminism

“Put the shoe on the other foot. Suppose atheists began going through a Christian’s life with a fine tooth comb, pointing out discrepancies or contradictions in their life story. Imagine being told, it is evident you never really were saved. I suspect they would be quite offended by such a statement.” Why Baptists Refuse to Believe I Once was a Christian – The Way Forward

Equality

“What is the takeaway here? Put simply, that the differences between men and women are insignificant compared to the differences between individuals. The idea that men are from Mars and women are from Venus is flawed, the scholars suggest, and accepting this truism can create problems between men and women. To be clear, the scholars do not contest that there are differences in average scores on the various metrics between men and women. The point they are making is that men and women’s scores on various personality measurements are not grouped on the opposite sides of the spectrum but rather mixed across it, and also that individuals may score more toward one end of the spectrum on one trait and toward the other end in another trait. In other words, where you fall on characteristics like empathy, sexuality, science inclination, and extroversion is not determined by your gender. Men aren’t from Mars and women aren’t from Venus. Men and women are both from earth.” Point, Counterpoint: Talking about Gender Differences – Love, Joy, Feminism

5 Ways to Make Your Wedding More Feminist – Care2

“Because even though we’re bombarded with messages that tell us that we have bodily autonomy and should freely and openly practice non-consent, no one ever gives us the tools we need in order to do so.
And when we live in a culture where we’re not given opportunities to say no, demanding that we start practicing the foreign concept in an already-vulnerable situation is confusing at best, dangerous at worst.
So let’s teach our mouths to form the word “no” and teach our brains to stop feeling bad about it.” How to Feel More Comfortable Saying “No” to Sex – Everyday Feminism

“This is the problem with normalising the sexual objectification of women. Let’s assume (because – don’t kid yourself, sex tourists – often it’s not the case even in Amsterdam) these women have chosen to offer sex as a commodity. That they are trading in sex isn’t the problem: it’s that people see them as objects for sex. There is no differentiation between the women behind the glass and any woman. All they know is that women can be objects: therefore, all women can be objects.” You don’t have to put on the red light*  (*you’re fair game anyway) / Busts 4 Justice

“Modesty culture shames women, but it does something else almost as destructive: it tells boys a lie about what it means to live in a male body. Instead of familiar laments like Lahey’s, what boys need to hear is that while hard dicks may not have a conscience or the capacity to cogitate, their owners still do. In a world that will present most of us with attractive distractions for the rest of our lives, learning to interact respectfully and attentively with people for whom we’re casually lusting is a basic social skill for men and women alike. That’s not an overask if we actually look at the evidence; as Andrew Smiler and others have recently shown: boys are more romantic, self-aware, and capable of self-control than we imagine.” Hot Girls in Tight Clothes Do Not Keep Boys From Learning – Jezebel

Health

Ten Cool Cleaning Uses for Vinegar! – Clean My Space

12 Healthy Ways to End the Day – Mark’s Daily Apple

11 Eye-Opening Things Your Skin Could Be Trying to Tell You – The Love Vitamin

Recipes

Peppermint Chocolate Macaroons – Against All Grain

Grug’s Barbecued Stuffed Bananas – The Paleo Mom

Amy’s Award Winning Paleo Pineapple Salsa – Human Are Not Broken

Inspirational

Unplug from Technology: 19 Ways to Spend Time Off the Grid – Huffington Post

“If you’re reading this list, and noticing, as I just did, that it seems like my care of myself is a full-time job – you’d be right.  Staying in my body, loving myself for exactly who I am, is my highest priority. I believe that my doing so enables me to truly enjoy my life in a way that I had never known how to before. I give myself the ultimate permission to be myself, and to need whatever I need.” Tales From the Groundskeeper: Real Self-Care – Mara Glatzel

6 Habits of Remarkably Likable People – Inc.com

“Most women share that they feel frightened by their lack of motivation. They panic and wonder – should I just go back to forcing myself to just “do it?” Does this kindness thing even work?!?! They worry that the only thing that was keeping them motivated was their harsh inner talk and perfectionism.” What to do when being kind to yourself feels like giving up – First Ourselves

2 Comments

  1. LK

    Feminist wedding is interesting but I can’t say I agree with ditching an engagement ring. Its a interracial part to the culture. And I want one lol.

    • Hehe, well you could do what people in Denmark tend to do and have both partners wear an engagement ring ;)

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