Link Love (2013-09-28)
“So what you say depends on what your goal is and your own perceptions and instincts about the people you’re dealing with, as it will change from person to person. To end the interaction as quickly and “positively” as possible? “Thanks, I’ll think about it.” To let them know that the advice is not welcome? “I’m sure you meant well, but I am not looking for advice, thanks.” An all purpose armor of taciturn inscrutability? “Huh.” You may use them in combination and have to repeat them like a broken record a few times, but they usually work. If they don’t work? Something is seriously off or unsafe about the person you are dealing with.” #504: Replying to the Council of Unsolicited Advisors – Captain Awkward
8 steps to a happier, less frenetic fall – Rosie Molinary
“We can be so hard on ourselves when we fail. “Just being lucky” is how we are hard on ourselves when we succeed.
Sure, on one level, all of us can look at our lives and see where we are “lucky.”
On another level, though? The level I want to live from?
Radiate from the place of knowing that you did what it takes, that you dared to hope, that you had the courage to face fear, that you and an entire network of people in the world contributed to the fulfillment of your dream.“ The scarcity of “just being lucky” – Your Courageous Life
#506 & #507: It is 2fucking0fucking1fucking3, so why is it so hard to divide up household chores? – Captain Awkward
“To an extent I’ve become if not a child then an adult of sound-bite culture, unable to concentrate on anything that does not offer immediate gratification. I have succumbed to what George Steiner in his essay “The Uncommon Reader” calls “the near-dyslexia of current reading habits.” (Just as I am often too discriminating to read, so my inability to read first manifested itself as a negative proof of my being, by Steiner’s definition at least—”a human being who has a pencil in his or her hand when reading a book”—an intellectual: I found I couldn’t read without a pencil in my hand.)” Geoff Dyer: Reader’s Block – Work in Progress
“Instant gratification is the quick fix, the easy miracle.
It is the promise that by simply implementing these three very easy steps, you will be saved from yourself.
The promise that you can be fixed. You can be whole.
I don’t want to break your heart, but instant gratification is also, often, a quick and easy way to sell you a distraction from your own brilliance. I also want you to know that I do believe that you can be “fixed” and “whole”, but it isn’t by a process that is being sold to you in magazines. “ Instant Gratification vs. Constant Gratification – Mara Glatzel
“I said all this, and yet he told me he was against increased birth control access (he suggested women just use abstinence or NFP if they don’t want to get pregnant). He told me he was against lifting the stigma for unwed motherhood (quite the opposite—he said he thinks there need to be more shame associated with unwed motherhood). He told me he was against programs like welfare and childcare assistance (he said women have to “take responsibility for their mistakes”). He compared abortion to the Holocaust and to slavery and spoke of innocent babies murdered and came back again and again to calling for abortion to be banned.
And all I could think is, and you wonder why I see the Right as anti-woman? This is why I see the Right as anti-woman! Because people like you care more about the legal act of banning abortion than you do about taking a moment to give a damn about women—or children, for that matter!” And You Wonder Why I See the Right as Anti-Woman… – Love, Joy, Feminism
“But what seems most interesting to me about this whole thing is that the American people were way more interested in slut-shaming Miley than they were in addressing her dance partner Robin Thicke’s rapey lyrics or Miley’s own appropriation of black culture and objectification of black bodies.” The lesson of the 2013 MTV VMAs: Being Sexual While Female Is Worse than Being Rapey or Racist – Love, Joy, Feminism
I’m a Man, I’m a Feminist. And I’m Here for Me Too – Role / Reboot
“When you ask my dancing son about this passion he carries and you catch my eye, slightly uncertain how to proceed, I won’t try to convince you this was all his idea or give ten examples of his father’s unwavering pride or waste breath assuring you that my second grader isn’t gay.
I’ll simply tell you what he said to us after his first Nutcracker performance last winter:
“Mama, it feels like my heart is flying when I’m dancing. I think God made ballet because he knew I’d love it.”” What I Won’t Tell You About My Ballet Dancing Son – A Deeper Story
Guys With Fancy Lady Hair – The Bold Italic
“There was one incident which I think shines a particular spotlight on how large corporations like Disney view children. And this certainly did not come as any shock being that we were in Disney World (I know! I know! What did I expect?) but, still, nobody does it like Disney. As we walked up to the reservations desk at the hotel we were greeted by a lovely woman with a welcoming smile. She immediately greeted us and turned toward Gabi and said, “and is this your little prince?” Gabi has short hair and doesn’t dress in pink or skirts or sparkle. I said very matter-of-factly, “Nope. And she isn’t a princess either.” The woman, looking uncomfortable and stupefied, literally had nothing to say. Why? Because there is no room for anything in between those two identities at Disney, and clearly their employees are not trained in the “what if a child doesn’t fit into one of these two categories?” situation. “ Brave Girls Want “In-Between-ness” – Princess Free Zone
“The idea that a teen can be “older than her chronological age” puts young girls in danger” The six ways we talk about a teenage girl’s age – Salon
Beauty & Body Image
“I’ve been thinking about this all week, these long legs that I didn’t know I had and that haven’t grown at all, except in my own perception of them.
Of how changeable so many of our body stories are and how easily we can write one into proof.
Of how I had been making myself small in that boxing stance and was invited to take up more space (and how much that resonates in life as a whole).
Of how sometimes all it takes is one person seeing you differently to crack open one of these stories.” Our Changing Body Stories (and my long legs)! – Be Your Own Beloved
The Five Languages of Body Love – Rachel W. Cole
“The taut and toned ‘yoga body’ on display in the media marketplace is a lie. It is NOT obtained from a regular yoga routine (as many would have you believe) – no , its obtained at the price of constant work, a Herculean effort to burn calories, and a saintly denial of carbs.” “Yoga Body”: The Conspiracy – Adios Barbie
Solutions for Tangled Hair – Venusian*Glow
9 Natural Remedies for Cellulite – Wellness Mama
Those Mirena Lawsuit Ads: Facts and Fiction – Care2
Vitamins, Nutrients and Supplements for Optimal Health – Wellness Mama
12 Best Yoga Poses… Ever? – Care2
Gelatin – 12 Unusual Uses and Health Benefits – Wellness Mama
Is Gluten-Free a Fad Diet? – Mark’s Daily Apple
DIY Dry Shampoo for Light or Dark Hair – Wellness Mama