Link Love (2013-11-26)

Thought-provoking

“Listen. Listen. Listen. When they are talking, be listening, don’t be trying to guess what to say next. You are not Freud, do not try to channel him, you’ll just end up with an opium addiction. Really, be yourself. Respect where the person is coming from, meet them where they are in their lives. Do this by imagining a spectrum, where you are on one end, with your loved ones and life experiences, and they are on the other end with theirs. Walk yourself over to their side of the spectrum. This is called “meeting them where they are.” Do this instead of lecturing, moralizing or telling the person why they did what they did. At the end of the day, people are the experts on themselves, you cannot fix them or troubleshoot their life for them.” Be a Human: Helping People Through Trauma When You Don’t Know What to Say – Autostraddle

Lyrical Learning, & Why We Learn Habits Wrong – Zen Habits

Religion

I promise to treat your beliefs with the same measure of respect with which you treat my disbelief. That seems fair, wouldn’t you agree? Does that prospect feel threatening? If so, why? As you think about this matter, be on the lookout for something called “privilege blindness,” which means that people of a favored class often are oblivious to the ways in which social and cultural inequities affect those on the losing end of things.” Hey Christians, Let’s Make a Deal – godless in dixie

“When you eat at a restaurant, it’s customary to leave a tip for your server, especially if the service they provided was “excellent.” That’s how a group of so-called “Christians” described the performance of their waiter at a restaurant in Kansas earlier this week. But instead of a tip, the anti-gay Christiansleft a message telling their waiter that they refuse to leave a tip for him because he’s gay.” Anti-gay Christians refuse to tip water because he’s gay – Addicting Info

Equality

Why gender equality is not just about equal rights – The Age

“Yes, I said “partner.” She is my partner. She is not my girlfriend. She is not my wife. In the occasionally uber-PC circles, she’s my significant other, but otherwise, she is always my partner.
Choosing to use the word “partner” is somewhat political, but it is also very personal. Part of this comes from the fact that society insists on a relationship hierarchy wherein people who are legally single aren’t taken as seriously as those who are legally married (ironic, given how casually we treat divorce). And unfortunately, because my partner and I aren’t legally married, we’re often not taken as seriously as I would like. To some, we haven’t quite finished crossing the threshold into a full-on adult relationship.” Why I Call Her My ‘Partner and Not My ‘Girlfriend’ – Role / Reboot

The Hidden History of Same-Sex Marriage in Asia – BuzzFeed

That is how survivor stories are told – that they are not survivors of the horrendous violation committed against them, but rather that they’re lucky to have made it out alive because – well – what did they expect? Clearly they brought it on themselves.
Thanks to the ubiquity of rape culture reflected in the beliefs listed there, you can’t go around saying to women “Don’t get drunk” without being part of the victim-blaming chorus, despite Yoffe‘s protests that she isn’t.” Prudence Doesn’t Know Best About Rape Prevention: 3 Actually Useful Pieces of Advice – Everyday Feminism

Eight Things I Don’t Need to Hear from Straight People – Brian Gerald Murphy

“Transgender people (very broadly conceived) are those of us whose gender identity and/or expression that does not or is perceived to not match stereotypical gender norms associated with our assigned gender at birth. In other words, people think that we should be more masculine, more feminine, not have facial hair, have facial hair, not have wombs, have wombs, identify differently, etc., etc.
And, a note on the word transgender: Some of us who fit the above definition do self-identify as transgender, and some of us don’t. We are a community with an evolving language. What is key is that everyone has the right to SELF-IDENTIFY. When in doubt about how a person identifies or what pronouns a person prefers – ask nicely and politely. It is very important to respect each person’s self-identification. For instance, it is not respectful to challenge someone’s gender identity.” Trans 101 – SLRP

Beauty & Body Image

Half-Drag Portraits Show the Before & After Transformations of NYC Drag Queens – PetaPixel

How I keep my (natural) beauty routine sane – The Art of Simple

Inspirational

“You have the right to gather around yourself the voices that lift you up.
To all the others, you get to say, “No, thank you,” or “Hell, no.”
You have the right. Because you are in charge of you.” you have the right – effervescence

How to Be (Genuinely) Happy for Your Friends who Have Their Stuff Together (When You Don’t) – Chemerikal

“On the definition of hygge, The Huffington Post notes:

While some would define it as cultivated coziness, hygge is often considered the major weapon in combating the dreary darkness that befalls the Nordic country over the winter.” Light the Dreary Dark of Winter with ‘Hygge’ – Peace and Projects

Health

6 Common Paleo Mistakes that Are Wasting Your Time – Paleo Non Paleo

Depression: 10 Fascinating Insights into a Misunderstood Condition – PsyBlog

How to Manufacture the Best Night of Sleep in Your Life – Mark’s Daily Apple

Why Tea Is So Healthy for You (and How to Get the Most from Every Cup) – LifeHacker

Recipes

Sausage and Eggs to Go – Mark’s Daily Apple

Gluten-Free Pumpkin Bread – Against All Grain

Paleo Avocado and Chocolate Brownie – Irish Paleo Girl

Spicing It Up With DIY Pumpkin Pie Spice! – The Prairie Homestead

French Onion Soup – Nourished Kitchen

Almund Joye Ice Cream – Paleo Non Paleo

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