Link Love (14/08/2012)


News Across the World

Afghanistan: “Equipped with more than a dozen laptops, a library, and stocked with comfortable cushions, the modest cafe has given Afghan women the opportunity to study and socialize free from the scrutiny of men.” Exclusive Internet Cafe Connects Afghan Women to the World – RFERL & “The 18-year-old, standing among a handful of women in a makeshift classroom, is attending her daily lessons at a women’s shelter in Kabul. The shelter is one of more than a dozen around Afghanistan that provide refuge for abused Afghan women who have fled their homes.” Afghan Women’s Shelters Face Uncertain Future – RFERL

India UP panchayat bans love marriages, bars women from using mobile phones – India Today & “A 35-year-old mother of two has become Calcutta’s first woman Muslim marriage registrar, her achievement made doubly sweet by the acknowledgement that she was better qualified for the post than all the male candidates.” Lone woman at male altar – Telegraph India

Iran: “Iranian authorities have recently informed Sotoudeh’s husband, Reza Khandan, and their daughter, Mehraveh, that they are subject to a travel ban. Iranian websites also cited Khandan as saying that they have both been summoned to the court.” Iran urged to end harassment of lawyer’s family – Guardian & “It is not common for Iranian officials to admit to the existence of prostitution. Usually, this type of social issue is portrayed as a Western plot to create a cultural metamorphosis in society and corrupt Iranian youth.” Iran sets sights on tackling prostitution – BBC

Jordan: “Some Syrian refugees arriving in Jordan are opting to marry off their daughters at a young age believing that marital status offers a form of protection and insurance. ” Early marriage – a coping mechanism for Syrian refugees? – IRIN

Nigeria: “Get N20,000 from govt, sewing machines from Sambo.” 250 couples wed in Kano – Vanguard & “The state government of the Northern Nigerian State of Kano is on a mission to shed the image of its state being home the largest number of divorcees in Nigeria.” Nigeria’s Kano shakes off divorce capital tag – Al Jazeera

Sudan: ““Before, in Darfur [Sudan], both men and women used to work, but virtually no one has a job here,” Achtar Abubakr Ibrahim, a women’s refugee leader in Djabal, told IRIN. “The men found themselves jobless, the women became dependent on the jobless men and this created frustration and anger, so the men started battering the women.”” The strains of long-term displacement – IRIN


“The conclusion in the neuroscientific world is that genes and environment play important roles in the personalities we develop as we age into adulthood.  Children with this genetic predisposal who are abused and neglected in childhood are likely to become the Narcissists, psychopaths, and sociopaths as they reach adulthood.  Children with this genetic predisposal who are able to grow in a healthy environment will simply have a ‘silent’ gene.” Nature vs Nurture – What Makes an Abuser / Psychopath? – Rooted In Being

“Or, in the words of the OP, “If you show zero remorse for being involved in something that hurts someone else, you have a problem.”  When you are with a married man, it is never innocent, justified fun- someone is getting hurt.” This smackdown on being the Other Woman from Feministe – Nicole Cunningham

“Of course James Holmes, who indiscriminately opened fire on moviegoers at the midnight screening of “The Dark Knight Rises” in Aurora, Colorado,  is not called a “terrorist” because that term is reserved for Muslims only. Instead, Holmes is pronounced “mentally ill,” an ableist and inaccurate narrative since most people struggling with mental illnesses do not act out violently. Dismissed in the stereotyping of disabled bodies are the serious societal and political factors that contribute to the culture of violence in the United States. Meanwhile, white non-Muslim and able-bodied people never have to worry about being collectively blamed, stigmatized, racially profiled, or subjected to racist laws that target their entire race/community due to the violent actions of one man.” “And They Call Me Barbarian” – Muslim Reverie

“I run into this “I don’t judge” stuff a lot and it infuriates me on many levels. But as this is a blog about what it takes to create art, I’ll just address why this “moral position” is at best hypocritical and at worst a force as undermining and dark as Resistance.” What It Takes: Art and Polarity – Steven Pressfield


“Although it could save millions of lives, the decision to fund family planning is not without controversy. Catholic groups argue that Melinda Gates, a Catholic herself, is contradicting the teaching of her own religion by supporting and promoting this agenda. ” Providing Contraception to Developing Countries Saves Lives – Care2

“Maybe it’s just me, but promoting the idea that men need to conquer in the marriage bed and women need to be conquered doesn’t sound very much like the men “cherishing” “protecting” or “humbly serving” women. Doug Wilson says in his excerpt not that men are to serve women in the marriage bed, but that they are to “conquer” and “colonize” them. And somehow, this is “protecting” and “cherishing” them?” Marital Rape? Doug Wilson on Dominance and Submission in the Marriage Bed – Love, Joy, Feminism

“Religious texts can be interpreted in an almost infinite variety of ways. What do different religious beliefs tell us about the believers?” Is Religion a Rorschach Test? – Alternet


“One of the most frustrating things about humanity is our ability to justify our own hateful beliefs to ourselves and believe those justifications. One of the most frustrating things about religion is its usefulness in providing those justifications. Neither is going to get any better if we pretend that sincerity and niceness somehow exempt us from the charge of bigotry.” Sincere Bigotry – Unreasonable Faith

“There is no way to oppose equal rights for gay people without being a bigot/homophobe/asshole/pick-your-word.You can’t say I love my black friends, but I don’t think they should be allowed to marry white people… without simultaneously being a racist. It doesn’t matter how big of a smile you put on your face, or how many gay friends you (think you) have, or how often you’ve gone to a gay pride parade. If you’re voting against marriage equality, you’re a bigot. If you’re denying somebody a right that you possess — for no rational basis whatsoever — I don’t know what else to call you. There’s not a single, credible, non-religious reason to deny equal rights to gay people.” If You Oppose Marriage Equality, What Else Am I Supposed to Call You? – Friendly Atheist

“Go ahead and yell until you’re blue in the face that you don’t hate gay people, if you are actively working to make them second class citizens by denying them equal rights, it doesn’t matter whether or not you hate them. Your actions are harmful, incredibly harmful, and to the people at the receiving end they feel very, very hateful.” So you say you don’t hate gay people, Part 1 – Love, Joy, Feminism

“Of course, we don’t call it an abortion. We call it “a procedure” or a D&C. See, my potential abortion is one of the good abortions. I’m 31 years old. I’m married. These days, I’m pretty well off. I would very much like to stay pregnant right now. In fact, I have just spent the last year—following an earlier miscarriage—trying rather desperately to get pregnant. Unfortunately, the doctors tell me that what I am now pregnant with is not going to survive.” The only good abortion is my abortion – Boing Boing

“sex workers and people profiled as sex workers, especially trans women, are being targeted by the cops with condom searches in Prostitution Free Zones. This puts sex workers at risk, as they’re then reluctant to carry condoms.” Condom searches are being used to profile sex workers – Feministing

“Are white men particularly prone to carrying out the all-too-familiar mass killings of which last week’s Aurora shooting is just the latest iteration? Is there something about the white, male, middle-class experience that makes it easier for troubled young men to turn schools and movie theaters into killing fields? In a word, yes.” Why Most Mass Murderers Are Privileged White Men – Role / Reboot


Got a terrible craving for potato chips? Can’t seem to get enough sour candy? Check out this chart and see what you may be missing. Time to turn in the Pepsi for some kale. Craving This? Eat This! – Mother Fitness Revolution

Balsamic-Glazed Drumsticks – Mark’s Daily Apple

“I do have pizza on occasion — just not of the delivery variety. I do have cake sometimes — but never from a grocery store bakery. My rampant foodie-ism, for all of the negativity that label might bring, has done me a tremendous favor. make it count.” A Foodie’s Guide to Staying Fit – Make Every Day Count

“Recently I’ve been waking up feeling a bit like I’m about to get a cold. At night my nose got stuffy and irritated, in the morning I’d have itchy, puffy eyes, and thick head. However as the day went on, my eyes got better and my nose and head felt normal. Only to happen all over again the next night.” If you feel like you have a permanent cold – it could be dust mite allergy – Julianne’s Paleo & Zone Nutrition

Beauty & Body Image

“The fashion advice I try to keep in mind is the same advice I gave, in various forms, every day during my many years in retail: You are just right! If the dress is too tight, if the sweater is too loose, if the hem binds or the neckline gaps, if there are bulges and bumps, then the garment isn’t right for you. But YOU are just right! It’s disappointing but painless to leave behind a garment that doesn’t work for you; it’s painful and ultimately damaging to blame your body for that disappointment. Leave the disappointment behind with the garment; don’t attach it to your body and take it home with you.” No, *You’re* Already Pretty – The Beheld

“We’re often wrong in our assessments of what’s worthwhile. We may overestimate the amount of artifice we “need” and end up looking (by the standards of our milieus) ridiculous. Or we might just end uplooking the same.” WWPD Guides: not worrying about it (too much) – What Would Phoebe Do


“Why do I hate sitting here and eating quietly, in my own space and solitude? Because it feels like a punishment.” Eating [and Being] Alone – Mara Glatzel

“Oftentimes letting go has nothing to do with weakness, and everything to do with strength.  We let go and walk away not because we want the universe to realize our worth, but because we finally realize our own worth.” 12 Things to Know Before Letting Go – Marc and Angel

“Making friends and meeting new people does not come easily to me. I know that I’m not alone in feeling this way, and yet we all try to hide this fact and play cool. As you can tell, I am learning a lot from Brené Brown these days – one of the things she advocates is being uncool.” Social courage: How to Make Friends when People Make you Nervous – The Freedom Experiment


How to Have a Career: Advice to Young Writers – Work in Progress


What Do Cats Say in Different Languages? – Care2


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