Link Love (23/09/2012)

News Across the World

Palestine: “Brides and bridegrooms are now being smuggled through the Gaza tunnels, to add to the usual fare of medicine, food, bread, refreshments, car parts, cement, and fish and sheep.” There’s Bride at the End of the Tunnel – Inter Press Service

Kyrgyzstan: “An internet video had surfaced in February of a Kyrgyz woman, Sapargul, standing naked among a group of Kyrgyz men in the middle of a dark street in Yekaterinburg, Russia. In this shoddy footage, a quivering Sapargul is the target in a maelstrom of insults, beatings and threats.  Sapargul is being punished by “Kyrgyz patriots” for speaking to a Tajik migrant man in a Moscow café.”  Kyrgyz Women Beaten By Kyrgyz Men in Russia – How the Story Became Part of One Reporter’s Life – RFERL

Senegal: “Just like in previous years, this holiday season has seen many school girls from various Senegalese provinces converge on the capital Dakar. The ultimate goal is to find jobs that generate as much money as possible before starting the new school year. But for many the adventure turns out to be a costly one.” Pricy vacation for Senegalese school girls – Radio Netherlands Worldwide

Sudan: Yet another case of stoning; Sudan women continue to be caught up in the chaos – Sudan Tribune

Sweden: “New details have emerged about the types of harassment suffered by members of the Somali community in Forserum in south central Sweden, with integration minister Erik Ullenhag upbraiding local politicians for trying to belittle the problem.” Somali woman ‘forced to pour milk on herself’ – The Local


6 Ways to Get Real About Relationships – Role / Reboot “In summary, female narcissists see their lives as a running feature film with them in the lead, receiving accolades at all times. Women narcissists in their 30s and 40s who are unhappily single will generally blame their unpartnered state on being too independent, feisty, strong-minded, intimidating and intelligent for most men. They have little self-awareness.”

20 Identifiable Traits of a Female Narcissist – Hooking Up Smart How Long Do You Want to Live? – NY Times

How Long Do You Want to Live – NY Times

“Mitt Romney says many, many things that are not true. He says this despite being in possession of the correct facts of the matter.
Which is to say that Mitt Romney lies. A lot. He lies more than any other national candidate for office in my lifetime. And I was born before the Nixon administration.
This is documented. Proven. Validated, verified, demonstrated, catalogued and quantified. Mitt Romney lies.” Mitt Romney tells 533 lies in 30 weeks, Steve Benen documents them – Slacktivist

10 Lifesaving Skills Everyone Should Know – Wise Bread

Obama’s First-Term Report Card – NY Times



7 Amazing Atheists Who Aren’t Old White Guys – Alternet

“When I concluded that there was no God, my entire perspective changed and I realized that I had to get myself where I wanted to be myself. If I wanted to go to grad school, nothing but good grades and a good cover letter and recommendations would get me there. And if I failed, well, that was life, not God trying to tell me something. And personally? I like that. I like that I no longer have to spend time guessing at God’s will, trying to read the events around me as “signs” regarding what God wants me to do. I like that my choices are mine, my successes are mine, and my failures are mine. And best of all, I like that I can open my own doors.” “When God Closes A Door” – Love, Joy, Feminism

“In other words, the child can never do anything less than instant, cheerful obedience to a parent’s spoken and unspoken commands.  The child’s obedience must be up to the parents’ standards at all times in both speed and quality.  Anything less can be interpreted as rebellion.  Please keep in mind that, according to Reb Bradley, the only appropriate parental response for active and passive rebellion is to administer a spanking.  It’s no wonder that children raised with this mentality often have trouble relating to the grace and love that Jesus demonstrated, since they learned instead to evaluate themselves by impossible standards and habitually feel deserving of punishment.” “Biblical” Parenting, Criticism #3: A Parent Who Tries to Change Minds and Hearts Through Spanking – Past Tense, Present Progressive

“In other words, my body became an object of scrutiny in a way that it had never been before. Public property, in a sense. Somehow, my sexual history had become every Muslim’s rightful business. Even a Muslim I hardly knew (or even, had just met!) could at any time feel free to ask about it, and jump to conclusions.” Female convert bodies as “public property” – A Sober Second Look

“The cult leaders need to make you believe that there is no where else you can go and still be saved, and if you ever leave the “one true church” then you are going to hell. This is a fear based control mechanism designed to keep you in the cult. It also gives the cult leaders tremendous power over you. If you really believe that leaving the group equals leaving God (or means you are leaving your only chance to succeed in life), then you will obey the cult leaders even when you disagree with them instead of risking being kicked out of the group. Exclusivism is used as a threat, it controls your behavior through fear.” Young-Earth Creationism is a Cult – Exploring Our Matrix


Men are taught to find “hot” what other men find “hot.” The whole notion of a “trophy girlfriend” is based on the reality that a great many men use female desireability to establish status with other men. And in our current cultural climate where thinness is idealized, a slender partner is almost always going to be worth more than a heavy one. For men who have not yet extricated themselves from homosocial competition, their own self-esteem and sense of intra-male status may decline in direct proportion to their girlfriend’s weight gain.” On Fat, Status Seeking, and Authentic Desire – Hugo Schwyzer

“He didn’t make friends in doing that in Berlin already and after a lot of contemplation I had only one option left: To broaden my shoulders for my little buddy and dress in a skirt myself. After all you can’t expect a child at pre-school age to have the same ability to assert themselves as an adult. Completely without role model. And so I became that role model.” More than an “aw” moment: German dad supports gender non-conforming son – Feministing

“All I can do is continue to actively work toward gender equality, and to concern myself with inequalities where they exist for both men and women. And I can hope that some MRAs will listen and work with me, converse with me, communicate effectively with me, with feminists, so that we can collaborate and become more effective.” MRM and Feminism: If the Goal is Equality, Why Can’t we Collaborate? – Gender Focus

“But what is worse, she is sexist in that soft way that I find so utterly infuriating. She paints a picture of mothers as these women who wear halos because they actually work harder than men. She rhapsodized in length about women being the mothers, wives,  grandmothers, big sisters, little sisters, and daughters. In other words, we are only as valuable as our relationships to family members. You will notice she did not say, “we are the doctors, lawyers, senators, and CEOs” because she knows that conservatives only really love women when they stay in their tidy little domestic spheres.” Ann Romney Does Not Love Women Like Me – Role / Reboot & Ann Romney’s Gendered Martyrdom: “Women and Children First”?

“For decades, women have fought to break down outdated societal expectations. We have tried to earn the right to take on whatever roles in life we want. Why is it deemed OK for women to accept non-traditional roles – such as soldiers, fire fighters, scientists – but not at the same time OK to reject traditional roles such as motherhood? It seems paradoxical to me that the first is considered by most women to be completely acceptable, but the second is considered by many of those same women to be unacceptable. Where is the logic? Where is the freedom to choose without facing judgment that women have striven for all this time? If women cannot support each other no matter what our choices are, how can we ever expect men to support our choices?” Childfree: All Women Are Created Equal – Flurt!

“Reports from youth workers suggest that many young people are confused as to what constitutes rape. But recent events show that they are not the only ones” How do we teach young people what sexual consent really means? – The Guardian


Foods You Can Grow in the Comfort of Your Home – Wise Bread

Natural Ingredients: Sometimes Things Just Stink – Crunchy Betty

Mint Chip Truffles – A Delicious Paleo Dessert! – Elena’s Pantry

“All of these (and more) are real needs. We all need love and pleasure and rewards, and ways of dealing with stress, boredom, sadness, loneliness, anger and frustration. For many of us, food has become the default way of meeting all those needs — and we can’t just take away the food without finding a healthier replacement. If we do, we’ll fall back into our old habit quickly.” Why You Can’t Eat Healthier – zen habits

This post is about my journey from breakout (left) to clarity (right). I used whole, traditional foods and natural products. It’s a process, but a rewarding one. ” WAP me Pretty – Cave Girl Eats My Love Letter to IUDs – Gender Focus

Beauty & Body Image

“This is fake. It reminds me of the 8th grade girls at graduation. Both share a well-intentioned, but misguided drive to mimic an external image that symbolizes reaching some wonderful state of internal self-actualization: Now you’re grown-up. Now you’re a yoga goddess. Now you’ve temporarily fooled yourself into believing that you’ve left all of the authentic messiness of who you really are behind.” Subverting the Beauty Paradigm: Questioning the Relationship Between Body Image and Self Image, in Yoga & Beyond – Adios Barbie

“Don’t question your body: it’s brilliant. Question your bra size.” I Hate My Boobs – Busts 4 Justice

“And also, I continue to be ambivalent. There are some things I can’t seem to bring myself to care about, and I’m always full of relief when they cross my mind. I think I care about plenty of things already.” electrolysis – Eat the Damn Cake

“But is this really what we should be advocating for? The right for a more diverse selection of women to be positively objectified for their looks? Let’s get one thing straight – the only reason advertisers and corporations cater to this kind of thinking is because they want to make money. If a corporation like Dove really cared about women, its parent group Unilever wouldn’t be shitting on them to sell Axe products to dudebros.” Women’s Magazines: War on Photoshopping Is a Distraction –


“And I Am Always Enough. Always. And So Are You.” I Am Not Enough… – Melani Marx

“When participants thought back to insecurities in their relationships, their shyness or social anxieties, it was showing compassion towards themselves that helped the most.” The Surprising Motivational Power of Self-Compassion – PsyBlog 9 Reasons it’s Time to Move On – Marc and Angel

“Discipline is a gift you give yourself – and your dreams.” The Beauty of Discipline – The Business Yogini

“It’s all about being gentle and permissive with yourself. It’s about doing the best you can do with what you have, instead of insisting on doing The Absolute Best Possible regardless of circumstances.” baseline self-care – effervescence


“Do not lean back; lean in. Put your foot on that gas pedal and keep it there until the day you have to make a decision, and then make a decision. That’s the only way, when that day comes, you’ll even have a decision to make.” Sheryl Sandberg Has Written a Book – The Grindstone

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