Link Love (11/12/2012)
News Across the World
Afghanistan: “The 25-year-old tech entrepreneur is the CEO of Afghan Citadel Services, an IT firm she founded in the western city of Herat. Her staff of 20 software programmers — more than half of them women — develops computer software for government ministries, universities, and international organizations in Afghanistan.” In Male-Dominated World, Afghan Businesswoman Breaks Boundaries, Taboos – RFERL
Belgium: If You’re in a Skirt and Get Raped, It’s Your Fault, Says Belgian University – Care2
Cote D’Ivoire: “The adoption by Côte d’Ivoire’s parliament of a law on equality between legally married couples has sparked anger, especially among religious people. For them, this law will create more problems in the home than it will solve.” Marital equality law sparks controversy – IRIN Africa
Ireland: Boardroom Equality – Ireland aims for 40% female board members by 2020 – IFN
Senegal: “When Marietou Diarra’s first daughter died after undergoing ritual genital cutting she was told the spirits had taken her. When her second daughter died the same way the community was too afraid to even tell her and buried the girl in secret.
Today Diarra is an activist working for Tostan, a grassroots organisation that has been instrumental in getting thousands of villages in Senegal to abandon female genital cutting (FGC).” Senegal will be first country to end female genital cutting – TrustLaw
Tajikistan: “In an interview with RFE/RL’s Farangis Najibullah, Haidar spoke about how she has learned to live with the potentially deadly virus and look “at the bright side” of her situation.” Interview: HIV-Positive Tajik Woman Says ‘I Try to Banish Negative Thoughts’ – RFERL
“Sure, we would enjoy crafting an adorable baby announcement, designing a luxe nursery and holding our baby for the first time. But the happy thought of these experiences do not overshadow the harsher realities of parenting: there will be sleepless nights, child care challenges, diaper changes, messy meals, little or no time for our own interests, discipline issues, financial stresses, public embarrassing tantrums, limited alone time and horrifying moments when we just will not know what to do no matter how many parenting books we have read. Simply put, it’s just not for us.” Norma Lizeth Morales: Don’t Pity Us Because We Don’t Want Kids. Be Happy For Us. – Huffington Post
“If you hate the company Christmas party or the big family Thanksgiving dinner, you are not necessarily a bad person. You may just be an introvert, which likely means that you are drained, not recharged, by time spent with people. Since the holidays typically demand extra time with people, here are a few personally-tested tips to make it through in one piece:” An Introvert’s Guide to Surviving the Holidays – Role / Reboot
“We need to allow dying people the same dignity and bodily autonomy as the rest of us enjoy. We have a two-tier system in this country right now- one law for those of us with full use of our limbs and another for those without. None of us want tragedies like Marie Fleming’s illness to happen. But when they do, we have the responsibility to act with humanity and compassion and the understanding that each of us, at the end of the day, belong to ourselves.” Whose are you? Marie Fleming, assisted dying and the right to one’s self. – Consider the Tea Cosy
Confessions of a Book Nerd: How to Read More than One Book at a Time – HopefullLeigh
Why People Believe Weird Things and 8 Ways to Change Their Minds – PsyBlog
Penis-waving for dummies: a brother’s guide – A Sober Second Look
“I was also taught that men were obsessed with sex, and that women needed to cover up in order to help them avoid temptation. I viewed women who dressed in “slutty” clothing with anger, knowing that they were out there actively tempting my future husband. I was also taught that women needed to hold out until the wedding because otherwise men would already have everything they wanted – sex – and therefore not make the commitment of marriage. And also, I was told that if I had sex with a man before marriage, he would leave me, since he would have gotten what he came for. (I realize now that these ideas are contradictory.)” The Purity Culture and Trust – Love, Joy, Feminism
“So here is what I recommend. Insist, as a condition of having a discussion about religion and atheism at all, that they concentrate on one question at a time. Insist on only dealing with one issue until it is satisfactorily covered. Don’t let them hop off on a tangent before you finish making your point. Insist they address your arguments in their substance before dismissing them and that they let you counter-address their rebuttals, or that they concede the point. If they do not do this, if they refuse to admit they have lost a point but instead want to change the topic instead, just don’t let them. End the conversation. It is, in my estimation, more important that you insist on seeing one idea through than that you dance around with shallow back and forths on 20 topics in a way that never forces them to reconcile in an in-depth way the numerousproblems with an one of their positions.” Make Believers Stay on Topic During Debates (Tip 2 of 10 for Reaching Out to Religious Believers) – Camels With Hammers
No, Taylor Swift. No. – Nerdy Feminist
“I do not believe all opponents of gay marriage are hateful. Some have just not been exposed to the right arguments, and so I will demonstrate here that each anti-gay marriage argument ultimately serves to oppress or imply the lesser status of the minority of which I am a part. In rallying against the introduction of equal marriage, religious campaigners have frequently stressed that their objections are not driven by homophobia, and have deployed numerous arguments to demonstrate this. To the untrained ear these arguments sound like they may have grounding in reason, but on closer inspection reveal themselves as homophobic.” 31 arguments against gay marriage (and why they’re all wrong) – New Humanist
I’m Not Straight (And Other Discoveries) – Love, Joy, Feminism
“…I am pro-choice because I don’t believe that women should be legally compelled to maintain another life at the expense of her own wishes, her body, her health, or even her life. I am pro-choice because I don’t believe that women’s bodies should be used against our will. I am pro-choice because I believe that compulsory pregnancy and childbirth is immoral, cruel, and flies in the face of basic notions of freedom, liberty, and human rights. I am pro-choice because I believe that forcing women to carry pregnancies against their will is involuntary servitude. I am pro-choice because I believe that children should be wanted, their entrances into the world joyous occasions — that they should never be considered punishment…” Why I’m Pro-Choice – Everyday Feminism
How to Talk to Someone About Privilege Who Doesn’t Know What That Is – Everyday Feminism
“I am over rape.
I am over rape culture, rape mentality, rape pages on Facebook.
I am over the thousands of people who signed those pages with their real names without shame.
I am over people demanding their right to rape pages, and calling it freedom of speech or justifying it as a joke.
I am over people not understanding that rape is not a joke and I am over being told I don’t have a sense of humor, and women don’t have a sense of humor, when most women I know (and I know a lot) are really fucking funny. We just don’t think that uninvited penises up our anus, or our vagina is a laugh riot.” Over It – Huffington Post
Cream of Chicken Soup – Nourished Kitchen
“In a past article on the Better Baby Blog, you learned how the right gut bacteria and lifestyle interventions could reduce your child’s risk of autism. Breaking research is showing that a new intervention may be even more powerful – glutathione.” A Little Known Yet Powerful Cause (and Treatment) for Childhood Autism – The Bulletproof Executive
Paleo White Chocolate – Civilized Caveman Cooking Creations
“The path of compassion is recognizing that the beliefs that we hold about ourselves — that we’re unlovable or not okay — are not true. That they’re just thoughts, and we can choose not to believe them. That we can create a new way of viewing ourselves: as perfectly lovable, as wonderfully human, as something precious, worthy, and whole.” The Inner Weigh: Healing Your Relationship With Food – Huffington Post
Recipe: Baked Apples – Chris Kresser
Beauty & Body Image
“I enjoy playing with my wardrobe, hair, and makeup to subtly alter my appearance. And I dress to elongate my legs and downplay my tum and rely on other subtle tricks for altering my perceived silhouette. But there’s a freedom in letting go of the idea that I could ever truly and naturally look like those revered beauties, that I could somehow force my physical self into their genetically different molds. And there’s a humility that comes with remembering that all of the perceived or assigned “flaws” that my own body has are utterly inconsequential in big picture context.” Letting go of the celebrity gold standard for beauty is freeing – Already Pretty
Planet Fitness ‘judgment-free zone’ doesn’t extend to muscular women – Fit and Feminist
“Talk to girls about more than how adorable they are. This one is HARD. Because they’re just so adorable. Especially when you aren’t around kids very much, or you haven’t seen that adorable little girl since she was an adorable baby, you’ve gotta put some effort into diversifying your compliments and conversation topics with adorable little girls. Even if you are compelled to comment on her perfect little face or how beautiful she looks in her dress, pair that with a question about what books she has been reading, or a comment on how sweet she was to help Grandma pick up that napkin. ANYTHING* other than how adorable she is. We need to teach girls they are valued for much more than what they look like, and that starts with how we talk to them.” Holiday Survival Guide – Beauty Redefined
“I wondered for so many years what it meant to sit with your emotions. Because that’s what people would always say was the way to get through emotional eating, and all I wanted was to stop doing it. But what in the world did it mean to “sit with” your emotions?” how to sit with your emotions – effervescence
“Damaging words are common and produce thoughts and feelings of guilt, frustration, powerlessness. Sometimes we get in a rut with thinking a certain way; stuck with a perspective that does not serve us. This can be a hold up with the whole life-improvement thing.” 5 Words to STOP Saying to Create a Better Life – and 5 Words to Start. – Your Life Your Way
“The implication here was dual-fold: keeping the expanse of my beautiful body as small as possible in a perpetual apology for my size and keeping my thoughts, passion, and liveliness as quiet and stunted as I could in an attempt to not intimidate.
I had learned that I was too much , too big, to expressive. I apologized for my quickness of speech, the way that I hopped up out of my seat when I was really turned on about something. I apologized for my grades, lying about or hiding my successes.” If You’ve Ever Been Told You’re Too Much – Mara Glatzel
“If you have only one prospect to pursue, that prospect becomes overwhelmingly important. If you have hundreds of leads, no one prospect can make or break you. The more calls you make, the more success you will have.” The Terror of Cold Calling – 10 Tips to Terminate It! – Women in Sales
1,000 True Fans – The Technium