Link Love (10/01/2013)

News Across the World

Afghanistan: “An Afghan prisoner serving 20 years for murdering his in-laws is now suspected of strangling his young bride during a conjugal visit. ” Afghan Prisoner Accused of Killing Wife During Conjugal Visit – RFERP

Oman: “When unmarried 19-year-old Sama got pregnant, she ran away from home to have an abortion rather than face family wrath.” Taboo on premarital sex can lead to tragedy in changing Oman – Reuters

Yemen: “Twenty-one-year-old Aisha clings to her two children as she recounts her tale of horror. Growing up in the Somali capital Mogadishu, she fell in love and bore a child out of wedlock four years ago. When her family threatened her life for destroying her ‘honour’, Aisha escaped.” Bought, Sold and Abused in Yemen – IPS


“Of course, the feminist dream isn’t actually one of absolute empowerment—or, at least, it shouldn’t be. Absolute empowerment isn’t possible. Everybody, even the most self-actualized among us, is eventually going to experience suffering, and everybody is going to die. Both Shulevitz and Benedikt present the possibility of dying when their children are in their 30s as a major anxiety for older parents. But just because you’re a young parent doesn’t mean you’re ensured seeing your kids into their 50s. And even if you do, leaving them will still be hard. It doesn’t matter how old you are or how young; nobody gets out of this world alive.” There’s No Perfect Time to Start Having Kids – The Atlantic

“Believing that we just reached the peak of our personal evolution makes us feel good,” Dr. Quoidbach said. “The ‘I wish that I knew then what I know now’ experience might give us a sense of satisfaction and meaning, whereas realizing how transient our preferences and values are might lead us to doubt every decision and generate anxiety.” You Won’t Stay the Same, Study Finds – NY Times

“It’s so hard to be involved with a depressed person. I say this as a depressed person who has not been managing it so well lately (Roughly: meds stopped working, need new meds, getting meds requires effort, which would be a lot easier if I had better meds, ergo I need new meds. I will solve this conundrum at some point, just, not today). I am worthy of love, like your wife and your husband are worthy of love, but if you lived with me you would still be within your rights to say “Jennifer, it is your turn to do x household chore now,” and you would not be being mean to me. If I heard your request and used it as an excuse to be really mean to myself, that was STILL not you being mean to me. That was me being mean to myself, which I am an expert at doing, and would have done anyway, and at least by you speaking up there is maybe a chance that something will get better.” #429 & #430: When depression is contageious – Captain Awkward


Both Refute the Best Counter-Arguments YOU Can Think Up and Create Gestalt Shifts (Tip 8 of 10 for Reaching Out to Religious Believers) – Camels With Hammers

We Thought Modesty Made Us Timeless – The Phoenix and the Olive Branch

“Women exist to serve men. Check. Women can make their marriages perfect on their own. Check. Obedience to your husband is obedience to God. Check. A wife must serve her husband whether he has any good in him or not. Check. Sadly, this is all typical Debi and really shouldn’t come as a surprise if you’ve been reading my reviews over the past couple of months.” CTBHHM: In Which Debi Poisons the Well – Love, Joy, Feminism


“For those who are attempting to excuse creepy behaviour as being simple social awkwardness, I thought this post by Hershele Ostropoler here sums up that problem: ‘If you step on my foot, you need to get off my foot. If you step on my foot without meaning to, you need to get off my foot. If you step on my foot without realizing it, you need to get off my foot. If everyone in your culture steps on feet, your culture is horrible, and you need to get off my foot. If you have foot-stepping disease, and it makes you unaware you’re stepping on feet, you need to get off my foot. If an event has rules designed to keep people from stepping on feet, you need to follow them. If you think that even with the rules, you won’t be able to avoid stepping on people’s feet, absent yourself from the event until you work something out. If you’re a serial foot-stepper, and you feel you’re entitled to step on people’s feet because you’re just that awesome and they’re not really people anyway, you’re a bad person and you don’t get to use any of those excuses, limited as they are. And moreover, you need to get off my foot. See, that’s why I don’t get the focus on classifying harassers and figuring out their motives. The victims are just as harassed either way.’”  The C-Word – Captain Awkward

“Men are expected to follow the one option that is generally valued most highly in our society – to have a full time career, to keep their family name, to be tough and strong. But that doesn’t change the fact that if they choose other, less valued options – staying home with their children, changing their name upon marriage, or being sensitive and emotive – they face questions and possible ridicule. Sally is allowed to do girl things or boy things, but Bobby is expected to just do boy things. Sally is allowed to be either sensitive or tough, or even both at once, but Bobby is expected to simply be tough.” Why My Son Bobby Needs Feminism Too – Love, Joy, Feminism

“A lot of non-transgender people have asked me what is and isn’t appropriate to ask trans people. I think the relevancy test is a good place to start. As much as you might want to know when they started hormone replacement or how their parents are handling “it” or what kind of surgery they want to get, if the answer does not impact your relationship with them, don’t ask the question. And to be honest, that means most questions are off limits in most every situation.” How to Talk to a Trans Person – Everyday Feminism

“In most of the developed world, women spend more time working each day than men do, if you include unpaid work.” In Most Rich Countries, Women Work More Than Men – NY Times

Annamarya Scaccia tells the story of James, a former Marine who was drugged and raped by an older woman when he was 19 years old.” One Man’s Story of the Night He Was Raped – Role / Reboot

Is the World Starting to Care About Rape – Gender Focus


“Maybe it’s not so great for my daughter to be gluten intolerant, but when I first discover that gluten is the problem, I feel like we’ve won the lottery. That’s because I never thought she was going to get better. I thought that, at best, we’d get a diagnosis and then find an effective method for managing her outbursts over time. To have the solution and the cure be so easy seems almost too good to be true. So, mostly, I want to move on and forget the bad old days ever existed.” The gluten made her do it – Anchorage Press

14 Important Nutrient-Dense Supplemental Foods – Mark’s Daily Apple

“Viili, piimä, filmjölk, skyr – all obscure mouthfuls of rolling foreign vowels – that mean but one thing: cultured milk.  The Scandinavians, whose ill-tempered northern climate necessitates creative application of food preservation techniques, celebrate  soured milks and cultured dairy foods in a manner unparalleled by even the yogurt-loving people of the Caucasus. Indeed, they thrive on all manner of cultured and soured milks which are deeply ingrained into their culinary tradition and heritage.” Viili, Pima, Filmjolk, Skyr & Tette Milk – Nourished Kitchen

7 Tips to Stop Sugar Cravings – Care2


Bake an Egg in an Avocado for a Fast and Healthy Breakfast Treat – Life Hacker

Easy Homemade Yoghurt Matsoni – Nourished Kitchen

Healthy Coconut Butter Cups – Wellness Mama


“The question I paused and asked myself before reacting to anything was this: If I truly loved and honored myself, how would I react right now?” Love Yourself: The 90/10 Principle – Think Simple Now

5 Ways to Take Care of Yourself Today – Everyday Feminism

12 Rules to Live By – Zen Habits

The Simple Guide to a Clutter-Free Kitchen Counter – Becoming Minimalist

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