Link Love (19/01/2013)

News Across the World

India: “Rape culture, the pervasive, unchecked, beast that has created the conditions for rape to occur with the horrifying, disgusting frequency and grotesqueness with which it occurs, guides the way people think about women’s bodies, women’s autonomy and who is responsible for sexual assault. A fundamental piece of rape culture is the belief that women’s bodies should be protected and kept hidden so as to deter the lustful gazes and uncontrollable actions of men. Rape culture assumes a set of ideas about gender, nature and behavior–ultimately, men can’t control their desire and urge to rape if faced with possible access to a woman’s body. According to some people–a woman walking down the street is enough to set off this compulsive and uncontrollable behavior.” Indian political and religious leaders give slut-shaming advice on how not to get raped – Feministing

Pakistan: “Pakistani women are slowly turning to divorce to escape abusive and loveless marriages, once taboo and still a dangerous option in this strict Muslim nation even as more women become empowered by rising employment and awareness of their rights.” Pakistani women turn to once-taboo divorce to escape abuse – Reuters

Saudi Arabia: “The girl in the latest case was so frightened that on the wedding night she locked her husband outside the bedroom and eventually escaped back to her parents, local media reports say.” Anger online as Saudi in his 90s marries 15-year-old – BBC News and Saudi teen married off to 90-year-old gets divorce – Al Arabiya

Uzbekistan: “Four years after the programme began, Uzbek hospitals continue to carry out forcible sterilisations of women, a practice that activists say UNICEF and the EU need to address.” Forcible Sterilisation Continues in Uzbekistan – Institute for War and Peace Reporting

Yemen: “Inequality, domestic violence and “emotional motives” were just some reasons behind such crimes, said the report, adding that the killings took place in Mahweet, Taiz, Hajjah, Sana’a, Amran and Marib.” ‘Husband killings’ become crime phenomenon in Yemen – Al Arabiya


“When a situation is making you feel dread, but you think of yourself as a nice person so you are on the verge of forcing yourself to, say, meet up with someone you don’t actually want to ever see again or go to the world’s most ill-advised dinner party or sit through another “hilarious” joke that literally makes the world worse for the telling of it, it helps to take a step back and ask “Wait, do I even want to fix things with this person? No? Okay then. That’s more important than ‘nice’.” This culture will try to get a woman to deny, apologize for, second-guess, or override every single one of her desires in the name of a performance of compliance and niceness. We need to fight that; sometimes with methods that feel “mean” and “selfish” because they are subverting a lifetime of training. Sometimes respecting your own desire to NOT be friends (to not engage, to not repair or try, and to not apologize), or respecting your needs enough to advocate fiercely for them lands on some well-intentioned person like a ton of bricks, and it’s painful and unfair. But guilt and the fear of feeling that pain keeps people engaged in relationships that aren’t working for way too long.” #419: My friend’s jokes are The Worst. Also, why do we talk about ending friendships forever so much on this blog? – Captain Awkward


Love Religious People (Tip 10 of 10 for Reaching Out to Religious Believers) – Camels With Hammers


“Being nice isn’t the cheat code to a woman’s knickers, and it’s not OK to be resentful about this fact. Nobody is entitled to sex. Absolutely nobody. If you are a genuinely decent human being, you need to be prepared to hear the word “no”. And you need to be prepared to deal with that “no”, and accept that. If hearing a “no” is soul-crushing, or enraging, or likely to cause resentment, then you really need to work on your own issues before attempting to connect with other human beings in a non-coercive capacity. Rejections happen, and they’re a product of the other person expressing their autonomy. It’s nice not to resent another human’s articulation of non-consent.” Nice guys, the friendzone and sexual entitlement – Another angry woman

“So while, on the one hand, women go for alpha-males because we’re socialized to believe that’s what we want, on the other hand, it’s because it says something about whowe are. Think of the ideal, All-American image of the football player with the cheerleader. Perfect man + perfect woman = perfect couple. Perfect couple – perfect man = perfect woman.” But Why Do Some Women Go for A**holes? – Everyday Feminism

My Short Skirt Does Not Mean I Want to Have Sex With You – Role / Reboot

“Some people insist that boys and girls are really innately completely different. Do you know what I want to say to those people? Let’s try actually raising children in a gender neutral fashion and then we’ll see if that’s so. Because until then, all I see is advertising and popular culture and societal messages yelling at boys and girls “you’re different! you so are! you over there with penises, you like sports and guns! really! and you over there without penises, you like dolls and parties and clothes! we promise!” As long as children are bombarded with this sort of messaging, how are we supposed to have any idea what’s nature and what’s nurture? And beyond that, children’s brains are still developing! These sorts of messages are literally shaping their brains.” Sometimes I Really Hate Advertising – Love, Joy, Feminism

“If I benefit from colonialism, do I not have a moral responsibility to combat its oppressive effects? If there is one definitively Canadian issue, this may be it. The responsibility to challenge the mechanics of colonization and be “idle no more” lies with us all – settler and Songhees, colonized and colonizer.” I benefit from colonialism – uncomfortably canadian

How to call out sexism – Daily Life


Paleo Diet Challenges & Solutions III: Stop Energy Dips & Cravings – Chris Kresser

The Coffee Lover’s Guide to Tea – Lifehacker


Super Green Veggie Powder – Nourished Kitchen

Remineralizing Tooth Powder Recipe – Wellness Mama

Meat Lovers Pizza – Against All Grain

Spicy Baked Scotch Eggs with Homemade Sausage – NeoHomesteading

Beauty & Body Image

“Although Nixon’s discussion of slow violence focuses on environmental catastrophes like industrial pollution and the aftermath of chemical warfare, his concept can be extended to the particular relation of gender and violence that women and girls experience every day. Because girls from a very young age are conditioned to believe their identity and self-worth is tied to their appearance, to please others, and to seek out the approval of others, they are especially vulnerable to the countless verbal and nonverbal messages they receive about their never perfect bodies from family, friends, co-workers, and a wide array of media including women’s magazines, men’s magazines, fashion blogs, pro-anawebsites, diet and exercise books, TV shows, and websites. The failure to fulfill all the requisites of ideal femininity triggers for many women and girls the slow violence of low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression and for some others, drug and alcohol abuse, cutting, and disordered eating behavior.” What Can a Discussion About Fashion Tell Us About America’s Culture of Violence? A Lot. – Threadbared

“There’s no denying that part of the appeal of a tattooed lady is her sex appeal. The stories of danger and pain, along with the opportunity to look at more skin than ordinary society might allow, were irresistible. But female audiences were also drawn to the ladies – who were, after all, a lot like them. Most tales included obvious references to the ladylike behavior and good morals of these women. After all, tattoos were still regarded as racy – as late as 1955, an editor of a sociology anthology wrote that “most tattooed women are prostitutes.” Not that they were: most were like the rest of the working women, taking care of husbands and children as well.” Tattooed Ladies (Part One) – Beauty Archetypes

My year without makeup – Salon


“Stop fighting against your cravings. Stop fighting with your feelings. Stop fighting against the longing you feel – the longing you feel for comfort, for something – anything – to soften the feelings of stress, overwhelm, or overarousal you feel in your body.” Feel food cravings more, not less, to soften them – First Ourselves

13 Ways to Go Online Less and Live More – Mark’s Daily Apple


Dara Pettinelli: What I Know About Work in my 30s – Huffington Post


  1. Thank you for the kind link, Rebekka! I feel so grateful.

    Warmly, Karly


    • You’re very welcome Karly, thank you for all the wonderful work you do!


  2. Thanks for including me in your Link Love!


What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: