Writer’s Wednesday: Born to Win by Dr. Kevin Leman
Born to Win: Keeping Your Firstborn Edge without Losing Your Balance by Dr. Kevin Leman (author of The Birth Order Book: Why You Are the Way You Are), originally released under the title The Firstborn Advantage: Making Your Birth Order Work for You is a brilliant book about the pros and cons of being a firstborn.
I am pretty much the stereotypical firstborn – for good and for bad:
Firstborns need permission to be able to relax. We struggle commonly with time management, stress management, and prioritizing because we tend to take on a lot . . . in fact, too much.
Firstborns and Only Children
Reliable and conscientious, they tend to be list makers and black-and-white thinkers. They have a keen sense of right and wrong and believe there is a “right way” to do things. They are natural leaders and achievement oriented.
Believe it or not, people who have sloppy desks are sometimes more concerned with being perfect than people who appear on the surface to be neat and organized. The person who has the sloppy desk may be what I refer to as a “discouraged perfectionist.” He wants everything in his life to be perfect, and because he knows it never can be, he tends to leave things half done or not done at all. In other words, he’s afraid to attempt things that he knows he can’t do perfectly.
Firstborns are always ready to pitch in and help because they’ve been groomed to do so. They have a high sense of what’s right and what’s wrong. There’s not a lot of gray in the black and white of a firstborn’s world.
Firstborns don’t like surprises. They like things to be orderly and organized.
If you’re a pleaser, your motto in life is peace at any price. You bite off far more than you can chew. You’re the type of person who would do anything for others while leaving nothing for yourself. You hold yourself responsible for other people’s failures and negligence. Your goal in life is to make sure everyone is happy, because then, you reason, you count in life. So you run yourself ragged while trying to do favors for everyone else. Because you bail folks out of messes, people like you. You’re a nice person. You can always be counted on, and people seem to know your soft spots. You spend every day running on a tankful of guilt. You’re driven by that guilt because you know you can never do enough. You just can’t seem to say no.
Many parents tend to view their firstborn children as older than they really are. They expect them to grow up too fast.
Firstborns are goal setters; they are well organized; they are the sort of people who know where they’re going, how they’ll get there, and how long it’s going to take to get there.
Dr. Leman’s book will teach you how to make the most of your special abilities as a firstborn, while helping you cope with the things we are more prone to struggle with, such as perfectionism, saying no etc.