Link Love (2013-04-14)


Melissa Francis: The Truth About Super Women – Huffington Post

“Sex is an art. There should be no shame in having to learn it, to practice it, to ask questions about it, to communicate with one’s partner about it, to plan for it, to read about it, to experiment with it. We shouldn’t have to feel like failures in magnetic sexual power when we prove not to be mind readers who can expertly figure out all that a specific partner needs and wants without ever having to talk about it explicitly. We shouldn’t feel like our pleasures are unreal or not worth it for our partners if they take some work to achieve. We shouldn’t have to feel like we cannot deliberately schedule sex lest it be inherently routinized. We shouldn’t feel like there is no way to deliberately create a sexual mood lest we be faking it. We shouldn’t have to fear that committing to a lifetime of sex with someone (whether monogamously or polyamorously) is a death sentence to passion. In lovemaking familiarity can breed an intimacy and mutual understanding and rhythm and experimentation and practice and mutual experience that can make the whole thing richer and more reliably satisfying than many barely pre-discussed one night stands with all their risks of miscommunication and hit-and-miss experiments and social norms against treating sex like something intimate friends do rather than something only for the mindless animals within us all.” Hot, Passionate, Rational Sex – Camels With Hammers


“People who are against abortion at all costs are living in a dream world.  They seem to think that if abortion is banned, every baby will be born into a loving home where it will be adequately provided for.  And yet, these same people tend to also be vehemently against the very social programs that are meant to support children and families in need – because the truth is, many abortions occur because the mother is just not in a position to raise and provide for a child.  Taking this position is not called being pro-life – it’s only being pro-birth.  There’s no follow-through, just a whole lot of judgmental, sanctimonious lip service.” Can We Please Pull Our Head Out of Our Asses? – Lisa Morguess

“Horrible abuse and misogyny happens all the time in monogamous marriages in the name of religion and tradition; this is not given as a reason to put an end to the institution of marriage all together. The abuses of women and girls that frequently take place within religious polygamous sects are illegal; we do not need to criminalize the structure of the relationship in order to be able to target and prosecute such abuses. And if anything, the criminalization of polygamy might make women more reluctant to come forward for help when they are being abused, out of fear that they will be punished for practicing polygamy. Keeping polygamy illegal does not protect women, it only forces their lives into a far more dangerous state of secrecy.” I’m Polyamorous: So what if Same-Sex Marriage is a Slipperly Slope? – Role / Reboot

“Is this question supposed to be hard? Did he seriously have to ask the difference between someone wanting the government to control other people’s physical property on the one hand (computers and land), and wanting the law to protect your own body from being non-consensually assaulted on the other hand? There is a world of difference between saying “I don’t want other people to watch porn” and saying “I don’t want other people to rape me” on the other hand. Did I say a world of difference? I meant a universe of difference.” Rochester University Professor Trivializes the Rape of Unconscious People – Love, Joy, Feminism

“What neither of us realized is that we were giving our children the wrong message, and it is one that unfortunately our culture is more than happy to reinforce. Inadvertently, we taught them that they need a committed monogamous relationship in order to feel safe and secure. The world is a terrifying place for them if they are not in such a relationship.” How I Screwed Up My Kids With My Happy Marraige – Role / Reboot

“Yes, Sandberg emphasizes individual initiative: Given the pervasiveness of sexism, how can women help themselves? Her critics don’t want to hear from psychology, and yet it’s true enough that women put themselves down in order to be liked, don’t speak up in public, wait to be asked. Much of what she says struck me as applicable to many women I know, including myself. How many conversations have I had with young women writers covering just this terrain: Will they think you’re vain and grabby if you ask for more money? How can you hold your own in a crowd of hyper-aggressive male writers all furiously promoting themselves? That thing about sitting in the corner doing your good work and assuming it will be rewarded because that’s what happened in school? Fear of stretching yourself, of taking risks? Sigh. By the time I finished the book, my life looked like a blighted wasteland of missed opportunities. ” Who’s Afraid of Sheryl Sandberg? – The Nation

No Hillarys in the pipeline – Salon


“Love is scary as hell. Love is risky. Love is unsafe. Love isn’t for the faint of heart. Love takes courage. Love and fear can’t coexist. Love means giving people permission to break your heart – over and over and over.” The Hardest Thing You’ll Ever Do – Owning Pink

Your cravings aren’t “wrong” – First Ourselves

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