Link Love (2013-04-16)
“Bootstrapping applies to life, not just business. It’s the skills necessary to build something with zero resources or, seemingly, any of the prerequisites for success. Habits, discipline, social skills, confidence and competence are all, to a certain extent, driven by these exponential forces which make it easier to continue than to start.” Catch-22s and Bootstrapping Your Life – Scott H Young
“But really, what I took to heart from all this talk about how obsessed men were with sex was not just that there was a rapist inside of me. It was that apparently I had a broken rapist inside of me. Because, honestly, I never felt so overwhelmed by semi-exposed skin that I couldn’t control myself. I spent years thinking there was something wrong with me. Men were supposed to “stumble” when they saw a midriff, or a shoulder, or too much leg. But I never “stumbled” like that — meaning, I never saw a midriff and went home and masturbated about it.” Ticking Time Bombs of Atomic Hormones – Love, Joy, Feminism
“I often find myself astounded by the level at which Christians in the United States seem to be unaware of their religious privilege. Christians are the group whose religion so pervades the United States that discussions about popular secular morality often quote the Bible for emphasis. Minority religions are accepted popularly because they also lead to God, or truth, or some other thing for which Christianity is normally used, not because they are valuable in and of themselves.” Imagine a Country With No Christian Privilege – Friendly Atheist
“Let’s stop criticizing Rihanna, Sheryl Sandberg, Marissa Mayer, Beyonce, or the like for being “bad role models” or for being incapable of representing everything we want them to represent in one tidy package. Instead, let’s focus our discussion on where they have succeeded and where there are still gaps. Sheryl Sandberg’s book doesn’t address the realities of poor women struggling to meet the basic needs of their families, so let’s find some other books that do. The problem is not that our role models are imperfect, it’s that we have so few to choose from.” Why We Can’t Expect All Female Leaders to Be Role Models – Role / Reboot
“The biggest wave of critiques against Sandberg so far have come from more traditional and intersectional feminists, and from mommy bloggers. I couldrehash the pre-publication backlash to Sandberg, as well as the backlash against the backlash, but the fact of the matter is that all the huffing and puffing about why she’s not organizing janitors or home health-care aides or stay at home moms is largely beside the point — because that’s not what her project is about.” Sheryl Sandberg Gives American Women a Performance Review – The Atlantic
“If the topic du jour sounds absurd when the word “Dad” is substituted for “Mom,” we need to take a step back and ask ourselves if our energy is being well utilized. Instead of answering and re-answering the age-old questions about working moms—Are they harming their kids? Are they helping them? Are they too selfish, too rich, and spoiled, too frazzled, pulled in too many directions?—let’s ask a different question. A critical question.
Why aren’t we talking about dads?” Would We Say that to Dads? – Role / Reboot
“Young women are more sexually confident than ever before. Hooking up is less emotionally devastating than we’ve been led to believe. They enjoy unprecedented personal and professional opportunities. Yet the same book that reports this welcome news also describes contemporary 20-something young women as more overwhelmed by “confusion, uncertainty, and anxiety” than any prior generation. Hungry for romantic fulfillment, they’re highly doubtful about their own chances of being able to find both enduring love and professional success. As it turns out, a healthy chunk of this cynicism is rooted in ever-diminishing expectations of men.” Hardwired to Disappoint? The Crushingly Low Expectations of Men – Jezebel
“There is a book that held me like a new child when my mother died just a few months ago, still mired in the snares of addiction. In the book, Tiny Beautiful Things, the author Cheryl Strayed writes to a man considering whether he and his wife should have a baby, “I’ll never know and neither will you of the life you don’t choose. We’ll only know that whatever that sister life was, it was important and beautiful and not ours. It was the ghost ship that didn’t carry us. There’s nothing to do but salute it from the shore.” Telling my truth is a salutation to that beautiful and likely brutal life I did not chose. It is me walking into the sun of the one I did. I made the wisest choice I knew to make, period. I must say that aloud. When I do I loosen a shackle of shame, for myself and for some other woman who made a similar choice.” Silence equals shame: Stepping into the light of my abortion – Feministing
“Somewhere along this journey, a careless doctor or healthcare provider will suggest that ‘it is all in her head’. Over time many will begin asking themselves whether or not they are somehow making this up.” Is endometriosis all in your head? – Endometriosis.org
7 Habits of Highly Effective Paleo People – Paleo/NonPaleo
The Cheap and Easy Way I Got Rid of All My Blackheads – Love Vitamin
Homemade Linen Spray – Savvy Sugar
Bacon Deviled Eggs – Civilized Caveman Cooking Creations
Raw “Nutella” Energy Bites – Naked Avocado
Beauty & Body Image
“The whole notion of jealousy arises from this idea of scarcity, that there’s only so many crumbs of attention and power and sex to go around, and so we should do what we can to get as much of it as possible lest we get screwed out of getting any at all. In the process, we end up screwed anyway, because we get so wrapped up in trying to get one over each other that we fail to notice that we are in fact fighting over crumbs.” Woman-on-woman jealousy: worst motivator ever, or worst motivator ever? – Fit and Feminist
As easy as A, B, C (and D, and the rest…): Bravissimo’s Boob School – Busts 4 Justice
“Style has trumped safety and comfort for centuries. Even though we now know these chemicals and dyes are bad for us, they keep creeping into our clothes and makeup. Sometimes we make decisions about what to wear based on what we think looks good, and in doing so, we do more damage to ourselves than we knew was possible.” The Perils of Wearing Clothes – Threaded
“With the rat-coons, I told her it was her choice, that if she decided to raise the baby rat-coons, she would have to give them permission to break her heart just like she did with Vivian. I also made her promise that, if we lost them, she would not give into the temptation to close her heart. She would have to keep it open, even when it was wounded and hurting.” How to Keep Your Heart Open When It Breaks – Lissa Rankin
“Acknowledging and expressing emotions make us vulnerable to judgment. That brings risk, because sometimes that judgment is positive, and sometimes it’s negative.
So we may ignore our emotions in an effort to protect ourselves. We may refuse to speak about our feelings with others to avoid their judgment. If we don’t allow ourselves to be vulnerable, we don’t have to deal with the potential for negative experiences.
But we are also incapable of real connection with other people.
So I made a conscious decision that I want to be free enough to love, free enough to feel, free enough to risk. I want to be more alive.” The Gifts of Being Vulnerable – Think Simple Now