Link Love (2013-04-30)


“Michael Buble was wrong: Your soul mate shouldn’t be your everything. There is a pervasive idea that when we fall in love and choose someone to be our longterm partner that that person will be a tremendous lover, talk to with us about Tolstoy, take long walks on the beach with us, raise our children, manage our finances and have very long and serious discussions about the state of our soul. No pressure.” What Open Relationships Can Teach Us About Fidelity – Date Report

Step 2: Repeat this until you believe it: Having great chemistry does not by itself make someone a good partner for you. People have to be kind, and considerate, and respect boundaries, and when it comes down to it, they have to choose you.” #465: Life after Darth – Captain Awkward

What I’ve Learned About Meditation – Tynan


“Halfway through the new special, C.K. starts talking about how dating is an act of bravery for all involved. “The male courage, traditionally speaking, is that he decided to ask” a woman out. (Note the careful caveat, “traditionally speaking.”) And if the woman says yes, “that’s her courage.” That kind of courage, he says, is beyond his imagining. “How do women still go out with guys, when you consider that there is no greater threat to women than men? We’re the number one threat to women! Globally and historically, we’re the number one cause of injury and mayhem to women.” A moment later he adds, speaking for all men, “You know what our number one threat is? Heart disease.”” Louis C.K. feminism: Oh My God on HBO proves comic a feminist – Slate Magazine

“When you approach me in public, you are Schrödinger’s Rapist. You may or may not be a man who would commit rape. I won’t know for sure unless you start sexually assaulting me. I can’t see inside your head, and I don’t know your intentions. If you expect me to trust you—to accept you at face value as a nice sort of guy—you are not only failing to respect my reasonable caution, you are being cavalier about my personal safety.” Schrödinger’s Rapist: or a guy’s guide to approaching strange women without being maced – Shapely Prose

“The emerging genre of memoirs about the suffering of women in Islamic states or cultures – which, in western publishing terms, may be described as “misery memoirs” – have been variously criticised for reinforcing “Orientalism”; that is to say, they support the west’s archaic and patronising attitude towards Middle Eastern, Asian and North African societies, rather than actually saying something important about the women in these societies themselves. But perhaps they are doing more than providing a prurient reading, as such a western label might suggest?” Misery memoirs: why is it different for Muslim women? – The Guardian

“And there are people who claim that women shouldn’t complain about street harassment, because it’s a form of flattery. Flattery my ass. Far from making me feel flattered, street harassment makes me feel afraid. Because a man who feels it is his right to yell at me, a complete stranger, and that if I ignore him when he does so then Iam the one treating him badly, is not a man I feel safe around. At all.” Street Harasssment Is Not Flattery – Love, Joy, Feminism

“The same principle is at work with street harassment. Very few of these men are actually under the impression that they’ll get to have sex with the random women they assault on the street. But what would their boys say if they just let a woman walk by without even trying? You can imagine the range of sexist and homophobic slurs that would fly. So they holler, they grab, they make primitive noises, and they ultimately fail. They’re likely to catch some heat for failing, too, so to disabuse themselves of any lost respect among their peers, they reestablish power/dominance by hurling insults and epithets. They can go back to the homies with confidence even after having come up short on the real prize.” Street harassment, masculinity, and impressing other dudes – Feministing


Yoga poses when you have pain – Project: Endo

8 Amazing Health Benefits of Nutmeg – Care2

“But recent evidence in humans (and animals) has led me to reconsider my original position on BPA. In a commentary published in the journal Toxicological Sciences, Dr. Richard M. Sharpe, a leading global expert on male reproductive health, reviews several studies which suggest that BPA is an extremely weak estrogen at levels of exposure that humans are likely to experience in the real world. (1) In fact, even at levels 4,000 times higher than the maximum exposure of humans in the general population, there are “no discernible adverse effects”. (2) Studies conducted by other groups on oral exposure to BPA at doses obtained in everyday life have also failed to find any negative effects on reproductive health or sexual development. (3) Sharpe explains that much of the early research indicating harm from BPA was flawed because it used far larger doses than humans could ever reasonably be exposed to, or methods of delivery (i.e. injections or implants) that don’t reflect real-world routes of exposure.” Are Concerns About Bisphenol A (BPA) Overblown? – Chris Kresser

My Thoughts on Dry Body Brushing – Beauty Box


“Taking care of our physical selves is not a punishment, it is the foundation of how we commune with lives. It is how we heal ourselves – how we tend to our weak parts. ” Self-Care is Not a Punishment – Mara Glatzel

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