Link Love (2013-05-25)
Is there scientific proof we can heal ourselves? Lissa Rankin, MD – TEDx
“Your relationship with yourself is like your relationship with anyone else. If you have a friend who is constantly late and breaking his word, not showing up when he says he will, eventually you’ll stop trusting that friend. It’s like that with yourself, too. It’s hard to like someone you don’t trust, and it’s hard to like yourself if you don’t trust yourself.” A Guide to Practical Contentment – Zen Habits
The ‘I See You’ Experiment – Susan Cain
“Our encounter was this little blip that showed me for a minute what a healthy relationship could be like. But I wasn’t ready for healthy; I was still growing. I was still figuring it all out. I can think of a handful of other times after Ian where I said goodbye to men who were good. And I didn’t leave because they were good, but because I wasn’t. I had yet to reach “good” in my mind. So I threw myself into drama and passion, faced extremes, got lost so I could experience heartache and pain. I needed to be treated the same way I felt about myself then: rotten.
I see this happen often with other women around me. The external is in tact, but the internal festers. Inside there’s fear, self-doubt, this overwhelming feeling of not being good enough, deserving of better. For me, it was this gross, mean-spiritedness toward myself that drove me to bad relationships, because it was a way to validate what I thought myself to be.” Why I’ve Turned Down Good Men – Role / Reboot
Ken Robinson: How to escape education’s death valley – TED
“Asking for what I want and need has been one of my challenges ever since I was a kid, for several different reasons. Changing my relationship to that has been a slow process, mostly because I had a lot of anticipatory shame around it. Anticipatory shame is when you expect or anticipate being rejected or shamed for something, so you hold back from doing it. It can have a deep impact on any of our relationships, especially because even acknowledging it or talking about it can trigger it. So I used to have a lot of fear around asking for help or for favors if I thought it might be inconvenient for the other person or if I wasn’t really sure they’d say yes.” Learn to Ask for What You Need – Role / Reboot
50 Characteristics of Healthy Relationships – Psychology Today
“The truth is, a number of atheists point to their study of faith in general and Christianity specifically as part of their deconversion process. ” The Christian Guide to Atheists: Atheists Are Uninformed – Alise Write
What Atheists Wish Christians Knew – Camels With Hammers
“In other words, allegations of child rape against Catholic priests tend to make people think less highly of the faith. Thus, Musaala ends up saddled with a harsher penalty than the priest-rapists he’s accusing. It’s a clear message to the next priest who considers blowing the whistle on misconduct in his diocese: keep your mouth shut.” Ugandan Priests Exposes Abuse Only to Get Suspended Without Pay – Friendly Atheist
“And yet, when I get to the point of ditching the word “feminism” entirely, something holds me back. I think of myself as that college student again, just waking up to the pervasiveness of sexism. My world was cracking open and in that tumult, feminism, as both word and ideal, became a life raft for me. I clung to it.” The Pros and Cons of Abandoning the Word ‘Feminist’ – Abigail Rine – The Atlantic
“Womanhood raises the possibility of rebellion, of rocking the boat, of breaking taboos, of being ambitious and competitive, of taking your creative and intellectual work as seriously as any man’s (and prioritizing it accordingly), of being sexy and sensual and sexual not to please men in general or your partner in particular but because you enjoy it. Womanhood goes beyond wife and mother to be artist, CEO, wanderer, adventurer, trickster, road warrior, rebel, revolutionary, sage, scientist, visionary, spy, elite athlete, general badass…whether she’s in black leather or a Herve Leger dress.” beyond virgin/whore: the art of creative womanhood – Justine Musk
Why are men still proposing? – Salon
“It’s when you’re kickin’ it with your boys and you don’t speak up (or maybe even join in) when the one dude is being called a “bitch” or a “pussy” because he didn’t hit on the girl you saw. It’s knowing street harassment is wrong but also knowing that you let your eyes linger way longer than was comfortable for her when she walked by you in those yoga pants. It’s that you find it impossible to have a debate with her without dismissing her opinion as the product of emotion or PMS, then reacting to her calling out your sexism with “I’m a nice guy!” It’s going on and on about how much misogyny, sexism, and patriarchy have entrenched themselves so deeply into our culture, then not understanding why she’s upset the only compliment you ever give her has to do with her looks. It’s all those things you’re not aware of but would be if you were actually listening to her.
If you’re not going to challenge yourself to do better, why claim feminism? ” On doing the emotional work of being a male feminist – Feministing
“Hold on. Let me make sure that I understand this correctly: the man who is supposed to be helping people–women–who serve in the United States Air Force to stay safe from sexual assault was himself arrested for doing just that?
Is it any wonder that the last set of numbers of sexual assaults released by the U.S. Air Force shows that the issue remains a huge problem for women who serve — that they are still not safe from their “brothers in arms”?” Are Men to be Trusted? Thoughts on Sexual Assault and the Chain of Command – The Feminist Wire
Soul crushing stress and the miracle of magnesium – Paleo for Women
Chocolate Hazelnut Butter (Paleo Not-ella) – Civilized Caveman Cooking Creations
Green Tea Mock-jito Recipe – The Greenbacks Gal
Chocolate Tart | GI 365
Chocolate-Raspberry Pancakes – Jan’s Sushi Bar
Beauty & Body Image
“Thin women – don’t talk about how lazy fat people are, and tell your fat friends how nice it must be to “eat whatever you want.” Don’t tell them how lucky they are to have a partner who “doesn’t mind” their shape. There is no way for them not to take this personally. Of course, you should keep in mind that plenty of your friends that you don’t consider fat WOULD consider themselves fat, so maybe consider not saying things like this out loud at all. Fat women – don’t call thin people “skinny bitches” and tell them to eat a sandwich. “You’re so skinny, I hate you” is not a funny, or appropriate joke to make to thin friends. There is no way for them not to take this personally. Again, keep in mind you might have friends that YOU don’t think are too thin, who are convinced they are, so maybe just don’t say any of these things out loud either. The way you view women on the other side of the weight spectrum to yourself won’t change overnight – it wouldn’t be reasonable to expect or demand that of anyone. But by taking a second to think about how the things you say effect other people, you can start making some headway.” Conscientous Objector in the Weight Wars – The Reluctant Femme
“I also realize that a positive body image isn’t the absence of negative thoughts. It doesn’t mean always feeling fantastic.” Body Positive Lessons: On Making Progress, Not Perfection – Weightless
“If there was one thing I would want to change in this world, it would be the “food wars” we wage against each other. In fact, this might be my new mission in life: To join the human race in one connecting truth. The truth that we’re all doing the best we can with what we believe in any given moment of our lives in order to nourish ourselves and our families.
The truth that there is no “one right way” for every single person in the world. The truth that diversity (in our beliefs AND in the way we eat and take care of our bodies) is what keeps us learning and growing, and is something to be celebrated – not ridiculed (yes, even in the case of processed foods, which we’ll talk more about in a minute).” Do You Have Cart Anxiety? (Deal With It) – Part 2 – Crunchy Betty