Link Love (2013-07-06)


“The lack of belief in yourself feeds into an insidious self-perpetuating cycle. It’s hard to stand up for yourself when you believe that you have very little of value to offer in the first place – something that is reinforced by the way that people walk over you and take advantage of you. After all, if you were better, cooler, or more desirable, you’d be able to stand up for yourself.” What Will You Put Up With? Boundaries, Self-Esteem and Dating – Paging Dr. NerdLove

“Of course, you’re comparing your reality to an ideal, a fantasy.
It’s not a comparison that makes sense. You can’t compare apples to apples when you compare yourself to anyone else. Which means it’s a dumb comparison — why would you compare how tangy an orange is compared to a beach? They’re not similar things.” The Futility of Comparing Yourself to Others – Zen Habits

Program Your Day to Defeat Distractions and Stick to Your Daily Routine – Life Hacker

“Don’t panic: just because Google, Facebook, Skype, Verizon and other companies are routinely monitored by the CIA doesn’t mean that somebody is watching you every time you order groceries online or voice-chat your sister in Seoul. It just means that they could if you gave them a reason to do so. That means you can relax – right up until the time when you want to go to a protest, or your sister does, or you support the fact that several thousand complete strangers did.” If you live in a surveillance state for long enough, you create a censor in your head – New Statesman


“One response I’ve heard from the sort of Christians who practice gentle discipline is that they would tell their “wayward” children “I still love you.” Still. Still? Therein rests the problem. I don’t think parents realize how much those words can hurt. I don’t think they think about what that one word—still—implies.” Gentle Discipline and Shades of Formula Parenting – Love, Joy, Feminism

“When school districts and governments promote Christianity, no one thinks anything of it. That’s Christian privilege at work, and it’s very hard to challenge “tradition” like that unless you try to get them to treat non-Christian groups the same way.” No, Salon, Atheists Are Not ‘Just as Obnoxious as Christians’ – Friendly Atheist

“It is said that when Ireland received its independence from Britain in 1921 it handed it over to the Catholic Church. For the next seven decades the Church dominated Irish life and shaped it to suit its teachings. While Ireland never became a theocracy, it came pretty close. Irish politicians of all parties declared their loyalty to the Church and gave the hierarchy unquestioned influence over policy. Politicians declared themselves Catholics first and Irishmen second. And what was the result of this influence? A stagnant society dominated by narrow mindedness sectarian pettiness. A socially suffocating society where all common sense and flexibility was abandoned in place of rigid dogma. An authoritarian atmosphere where all signs of modernity were repressed. Where brutality was condoned and ignored and unimaginable cruelty was shown to women and children, the extent of which is only coming to light now. This is the legacy of the church.” Legacy of the Catholic Church – Robert Nielsen


“Real change, though – of the humane and civilised kind that would see women in circumstances like Ms. Halappanavar’s protected – requires far more thoroughgoing reform. A referendum on repealing the 8th Amendment – that constitutional clause giving effect to the arbitrary distinction between women’s lives and health – would have to be called, putting the option of abolishing law that has endangered women’s lives for thirty years, to the people. Given that 78% of them already declared, in the latest opinion poll, their desire to legislate for women’s health, it is highly likely that such a referendum would banish the 8th Amendment from the Irish Constitution. Now that would be a change – a compassionate and necessary change that could lead to the full protection of women’s lives and health; a change reflecting the wishes of Savita Halappanavar’s family; and a change responsive to the moral revulsion experienced by each of us when women die needlessly.” New Irish abortion legislation will not prevent another Savita Halappanavar case – IFN

“Long story short:  in conversation, “no” is disfavored, and people try to say no in ways that soften the rejection, often avoiding the word at all.  People issue rejections in softened language, and people hear rejections in softened language, and the notion that anything but a clear “no” can’t be understood is just nonsense.  First, the notion that rape results from miscommunication is just wrong.  Rape results from a refusal to heed, rather than an inability to understand, a rejection.  Second, while the authors of the paper say that this makes all rape prevention advice about communicating a clear “no” pointless, I have a different take.  Clear communication of “no” isn’t primarily going to avoid miscommunication — rather, it’s a meta-message.  Clear communication against the undercurrent that “no” is rude and should be softened is a sign of the willingness to fight, to yell, to report.” Mythcommunication: It’s Not That They Don’t Understand, They Just Don’t Like the Answer – Yes Means Yes

Polyamory should be legal: It’s consensual and fine for children – Slate

“The difference between being sexual and being sexually entitled is strongly tied to recognizing that all people have bodily autonomy and an equal right to have that autonomy respected.
A sexually entitled person thinks other people owe them sex. A rational adult with sexual desires realizes that no one owes them sex — not for being nice, not for marrying them, not for saying yes at one point and no later.” Does Calling Out Sexual Entitlement Demonize Male Sexuality? – Everyday Feminism

My Reasons for being an Ally (AKA Social Justice Advocate) – It’s Pronounced Metrosexual

“When men complain about being “creep-shamed,” or insist that the Tom Brady sketch accurately reflects reality, what they’re really lamenting is a culture that is increasingly willing to honor women’s right to be sexual — and women’s right to be safe.” It’s Okay to Call a Guy Creepy – Hugo Schwyzer – The Atlantic


Get an Immediate Brain Boost with 20 Minutes of Yoga – Life Hacker

Reid’s Safer Sex Elevator Speech – ReidAboutSex

Is Salt Healthy? – Mark’s Daily Apple

My Experience with Vegetarianism – Chris Masterjohn

Skincare Saturday: Exfoliation – can it hurt your skin? – Skintervention


Sweet Potato “Tartiflette” – Violet Femme

Using Cloth in the Kitchen – Wellness Mama

Mini Breakfast Meatloves – Mark’s Daily Apple


“Self-compassion involves encouraging and supporting ourselves, and sometimes, even pushing ourselves (when it’s in our best interests), Welford writes. It’s about recognizing that we’re struggling and committing to improving things.” 5 Self-Sabotaging Thoughts About Self-Compassion – Weightless


  1. Thanks for links 🙂


  2. Your blog makes an interesting read, I’ve subscribed 🙂

    Ps. Thanks for sharing my recipe!


  3. Thanks for sharing my link and providing a nice fat quote. There’s a good selection of interesting reads there.


    • Thanks Robert, and you’re very welcome I enjoyed your article and look forward to reading more stuff from you!


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