Link Love (2013-08-20)
“The idea that nongenital physical affection can only be motivated by sexual desire and can therefore only have sexual connotations is disgusting, harmful, and unfair. It has created a society where people can rape their romantic partners or close friends and feel excused in doing so, where it’s easy for people to pressure romantic partners or friends for sex and where their partners dubiously consent to it out of guilt or a sense that they owe sex as repayment for physical affection, where the only way to gain access to nonsexual physical affection is to enter into a sexual or romantic-sexual relationship and therefore anyone not in a sexual or romantic-sexual relationship must live with next to no affectionate touch—which is emotionally and psychologically unhealthy and even cruel.” The Physical Touch Escalator – The Thinking Asexual
35 Things I’ve Learned in 35 Years – Modern Mrs. Darcy
“If you have many improvements you’d like to make in your life — career, relationship, health — where should you begin? My suggestion is to start with your physical body. Improving your diet and level of fitness will produce positive results in every area of your life because you’ll have extra energy available to you every day. This means more energy to invest in your career, relationships, and mental and spiritual development.” Start With the Physical – Steve Pavlina
Living Alone in a New City – 5 Lessons – Think Simple Now
“Similarly, the duration people can claim unemployment benefits has a negligible effect on unemployment levels. Nor does the level of benefits compared to wages. The difficulty in qualifying for benefits also has no effect on unemployment levels. No matter which way you look at it, welfare benefits do not cause unemployment.” Do Generous Welfare Benefits Lead to High Unemployment? – Robert Nielsen
20-Something Does NOT Have to Be 20-Everything – Christine Hassler – Huffington Post
“While this scenario might have worked out for Eric and Leslie Ludy, both of these books send the message that this is ideal for every relationship. They send the message that a woman’s father knows her better than anyone…including herself. That father knows best, and if he doesn’t, then grandfather or pastor knows best. Never the woman herself. They send the message that women are not really adults, not really individuals who can make their own choices by themselves, but property to be transfered from one owner to the next.
These books take away a huge chunk of women’s autonomy and give it to her parents, especially her father, in the name of “protection.”
Women are objectified, forced into gender roles, and treated with benevolent sexism, and rape culture prevails.” “You Are Not Your Own”: Unmarried Women Belong to Their Parents? – Love, Joy, Feminism
“About a year after leaving Islam, I barely have any Muslim friends left. I confess, I was heartbroken. I cried many nights over what I thought was the end of my happiness and social life. I couldn’t understand how someone could be your friend conditionally. I thought friendships were supposed to be for better or for worse? Not really it turns out.
I’ve worked hard in the past year to build new meaningful friendships that aren’t conditional on personal beliefs. This particular experience has taught me to reexamine what I valued in friendships and relationships in general. I knew when I decided to be true to myself the cost would be hefty and one of those costs were my friendships.” No More Friends – postApostasy
“When this resurgence first happened, it was very politicized. It was very much about being anti-corporate, and reclaiming old fashioned women’s work in the name of feminism. But once that stuff became so hip and so big, with a million vendors on Etsy and hand-crafty stuff at Walmart, it certainly lost its political edge, and many people are embracing it as cute rather than political. And then there’s the danger that, if all this retro 1950s stuff is embraced as cute in a totally depoliticized way, are we actually then embracing the gender norms of the 1950s? There’s some show on TLC called “Wives with Beehives,” and these women in LA were doing the whole 1950s retro housewife look as a lifestyle. There are so many people doing that as a hipster thing, as “I’m a feminist burlesque dancer,” but these women seem to have very little sense of irony about it. Of course TLC may have edited all the irony out, but these women were like, “I serve my husband.”” D.I.-Why?: Emily Matchar on the Allure of the “New Domesticity” – The Hairpin
“Women are 50% of the world. Half. And yet so often, they are othered, which means that women are treated as outsiders, as the deviation from the norm (the norm being men in this case). This sounds like a terrible thing, and one we’d all like to believe we don’t do. But othering women is so prevalent, so omnipresent, sometimes I don’t even notice it’s happening. In fact, sometimes I’m the one who does it. Here are three ways I’ve only recently realized women are othered that I am just as guilty of doing.” 3 Ways I’ve Treated Women as Outsiders – Role / Reboot
“The institution of straight marriage perpetuates patriarchal gender roles during marriage as well as during its complement, divorce.
The same unfair assumptions that undermine the tradition of straight marriage are the ones that mire their divorces” Bias Against Fathers in the Family Courts – Everyday Feminism
Sexual Harassment Conversations, in Comic Form – Jim C. Hines
“So why does all this matter? It matters because research tells us that when kids are used to seeing boys and girls as separate and different, they tend to have more gender stereotypes themselves, have less positive feelings about opposite-sex peers, and not play with those peers as much (Hillard & Liben, 2010). But here’s the good news: Research also tells us that girls and boys both like media and marketing that promotes agency, independence, and community building (Bakir, Blodgett, & Rose, 2008).” Girls Are Much More Than That: The Media and Stereotyping – Adios Barbie
“I’d like to talk to them for a moment, and here’s what I want to say: The reason you don’t have to care about race is because you are white.
The reason you don’t have to care is because your son isn’t Trayvon Martin, because your kid can most likely walk in his own neighborhood (whether or not he’s armed with Skittles and a hoodie) without the risk of some whacko vigilante freak determining he’s “suspicious” because other people of his race have committed burglaries recently in the same area.
Your son isn’t representing all other white people, is he? When was the last time you walked through a neighborhood and thought to yourself, “Oh, no — I sure hope they don’t think I’m like those white rapists and murderers and drug addicts.”” How white people will ignore Obama’s speech on Zimmerman – AllParenting
5 Chemicals in Cosmetics You Should Avoid – Mark’s Daily Apple
The Whole 30 Timeline, Version 2.0 – Whole9
How to Improve Sleep Naturally – Wellness Mama
Blueberry Basil Fizz – Civilized Caveman Cooking Creations
Cucumber and Onion Summer Salad – Wellness Mama
Meyer’s Lemon Custard Sofflé (Nut-Free) – Paleo Mom
Healthy Banana Cake – Wholefood Simply
Fermented Food Recipes – Paleo Diet Lifestyle
Easy Recipe: Raw Sauerkraut – Balanced Bites
“Toni Cade Bambara’s 1980 novel The Salt Eaters begins with a town healer asking this question: “Are you sure, sweetheart, that you want to be well?”
This is the question we all need to ask ourselves.
And when the answer is yes, we must enter the trenches, our own personal closets, and heal those places that still hurt.
The journey towards healing is never-ending, but don’t fret — because it does get easier.
Healing requires much time and much energy, but it is worth it. You are worth it.
We should all be invested in self-love and self care. Our communities will be better for it.” I Really Want to Be Well: Healing Trauma is Central to My Feminist Practice – Everyday Feminism