Link Love (2013-09-07)

Thought-provoking

Eleanor Longden: The voices in my head – TED

“In 1953, Kinsey wrote: “The vagina walls are quite insensitive in the great majority of females … There is no evidence that the vagina is ever the sole source of arousal, or even the primary source of erotic arousal in any female.”
Then in 1970, Germaine Greer published The Female Eunuch, which scoffed at Kinsey’s theory.  She wrote, “It is nonsense to say that a woman feels nothing when a man is moving his penis inside her vagina.  The orgasm is qualitatively different when the vagina can undulate around the penis instead of a vacancy.”
Interestingly, they’re both right.  The vagina is not the sole source of arousal, though to stimulate the inner clitoris you can greatly do so by manipulating, displacing, and exploring the vagina with a penis or other apparatus.” The Internal Clitoris – Museum of Sex

Ten Tips to Great Poly Relationships – The Polyamorous Misanthrope

“Now that I’ve thoroughly confused you as to what the hell I’m talking about, let me drag it back around to the topic. In game design, as in life, when you are continually being punished for seemingly innocent mistakes (or even for doing everything right) then eventually you’re going to give up trying to play it at all. You may decide that the game is cheating or just impossible. You may decide that you’re just not any good and you’ll never beat it. You may even get insanely depressed because it’s the only game you’re going to get until your birthday or the holidays… if then.” Unlearning Helplessness – Paging Dr. NerdLove

Writing and Speaking for Introverts – The Art of Non-Confirmity

“The “sexuality as a spectrum” model is very ingrained in our culture. The “correct” progression of a sexual relationships starts at one end of the spectrum, goes through each intermediate step, and ends at penetrative sex. This is why baseball is such a common metaphor to describe sex acts. You can’t go straight to second base without tagging first! It’s against the rules! Even if you hit a home run, you have to take a ceremonial lap around the bases or it doesn’t count.
I do not look at physical touch as a spectrum in that way, where there are “levels,” and each “step” progresses to a more intimate/sensual/sexual (hereafter abbreviated as “intimate”) level. In fact, I actively resist this model.” The Physical Touch Spectrum – atheist, polyamorous skeptics

Religion

“In the end, Thabiti’s suggested strategy boils down to nothing more than intentionally drumming up hate. In a nutshell, Thabiti is arguing that rather than approaching them like we would anyone else, we (i.e. straight people) should constantly remind ourselves of how “yucky” gay and lesbian individuals are. And then he says this isn’t about being “mean,” it’s just about “speaking the truth in love.” Oh, and this emphasis on approaching homosexuality with sheer disgust has nothing to do with why LGBTQ teens commit suicide at such a high rate. Oh wait.” That’s Disgusting! Drumming Up Old-Fashioned Homophobia – Love, Joy, Feminism

I don’t know, what is there about submission that’s not wonderful? Maybe just hierarchy and the fact that women are told they shouldn’t think for themselves, but you know, those aren’t huge things and we should just ignore that and rejoice! Besides, thinking for yourself is dangerous, and it’s a good thing that you have your father or husband to do that for you! Otherwise you might come to dangerous conclusions!” Why Your Daddy Needs You – Time to Live, Friend

“Helena, like the other rape victims in Manitoba, was never offered the chance to speak with a professional therapist, even though she said she would if given the opportunity. “Why would they need counseling if they weren’t even awake when it happened?” Manitoba Colony Bishop Johan Neurdorf, the community’s highest authority, had told a visitor back in 2009 after the perpetrators were caught.
Other victims I interviewed—those who awoke during the rapes, as well as those with no memory of the night—said that they would also have liked to speak with a therapist about their experiences but that doing so would be nearly impossible because there are no Low German-speaking sexual-trauma recovery experts in Bolivia.
All of the women I spoke with were unaware that the greater Mennonite world, particularly progressive groups in Canada and the US, had offered to send Low German counselors to Manitoba. Of course, this meant that they also had no clue that it was the men in the colony who had rejected these offers. After centuries of tension with their less-traditional brethren, Old Colonist leadership regularly block any attempts at direct contact with their members initiated by these groups. They saw the offer for psychological support from afar as yet another thinly veiled attempt to encourage the abandonment of their old ways.” The Ghost Rapes of Bolivia – VICE

Equality

“Similarly, rape is a real thing that happens to real people far too often, so that word out of respect should only be used when actually talking about rape, not in ironically over-the-top comedy routines, not when talking about what a bad 3-D conversion did to your eyes, and not when talking about how that 11/10 mini-boss took down your shield in one shot.
In all of these examples it’s not that your feelings are wrong, it’s that you are expressing those feelings like a jackass.” The good type of insult – The F-Word

“Now I could talk about the way women are posed in cover art … or I could show you. I opted for the latter, in part because it helped me to understand it better. I expected posing like Danielle to feel a little weird and unnatural. I did not expect immediate, physical pain from trying (rather unsuccessfully) to do the hip thing she’s got going on.” Striking a Pose (Women and Fantasy Covers) – Jim C. Hines

Iranian Woman Declared Too Beautiful to Be a Politician – Care2

“Sherlock Holmes gets to be brilliant, solitary, abrasive, Bohemian, whimsical, brave, sad, manipulative, neurotic, vain, untidy, fastidious, artistic, courteous, rude, a polymath genius. Female characters get to be Strong.” I hate Strong Female Characters – New Statesman

“America is hyperfocused on mothers bouncing immediately back after childbirth, yet most other cultures allow for an extended period of pampering and rest. Hillary Brenhouse on why U.S. moms are missing out.” Why Are America’s Postpartum Practices So Rough on New Mothers? – The Daily Beast

Pew Study: Majority of bisexuals still in the closet – Seattle Times

Health

Safest and Most Natural Cookware and Bakeware – Wellness Mama

Recipes

Sea Salt Spray for Healthy Skin – Wellness Mama

Rustic Homemade Marshmallows W/Honey (Corn/Egg Free) – The Urban Poser

Pineapple, pork and bacon ‘donuts’ – The Creative Caveman

Smoked Salmon Hors d’Oeuvres – it’s me, charlotte!

Paleo Alfredo with Caramelized Leeks & Bacon – meatified

Teriyaki Sirloin Kabobs – Civilized Caveman Cooking Creations

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