Link Love (2013-12-14)
“I’m not angry anymore. I’m simply wistful. I wish my parents could accept me rather than just tolerate me. I wish my parents could be proud of me. I can imagine a different story for my family, one characterized by the acceptance and even valuing of difference, disagreement, and diversity. Sometimes I long for that story so strongly that I am moved to tears. I am bothered—and tantalized—by what could have been. But it’s worse than that, because I can imagine not just a different past for my family but also a different future. And it’s there, so close, and yet out of my reach. Sometimes I want it so badly that it hurts.
And so I’m sitting here, typing away at my keyboard, tears streaming down my face. I’m not angry anymore. I hurt, and I love, and I want.” I’m Not Angry Anymore – Love, Joy, Feminism
“And THAT is why the problem one-upping thing is so fucking irritating and a complete waste of time: Because it doesn’t WORK.
It is 100% ineffective in actually reducing pain.
When I am depressed, or terrified, or tired of being broke, no amount of mental chanting “But some people have it worse” reduces my pain for more than a minute or two. Ultimately, no mental construct – no new idea – will pull me through my darkness.” Just stop trying to one-up my pain… It never works. – Renegade Mothering
“Embracing vulnerability isn’t about being weak; in fact, vulnerability requires a great deal of inner strength. Vulnerability is about willingly, even deliberately, opening yourself up to rejection, to judgement and humiliation. You are choosing to say or do something regardless of whether or not it’s popular or cool. It’s the emotional and social equivalent of being the person who knows that the Popular Kids in school are going to give him shit for playing Magic: The Gathering in the cafeteria and doing it anyway because fuck those guys.” Finding Strength Through Vulnerability – Paging Dr. NerdLove
“Do you believe that God could ever forsake you? What would that look like? Can you describe for me any scenario at all which would constitute God forsaking you?
Think about that question for a bit. I suspect that if most Christians were to ponder this they would have to admit that any scenario they could dream up could quickly be explained away as “God testing us” or “working all things together for good, according to his divine plan.” This question exposes something about the Christian faith which you almost have to be on the outside to see: It is a carefully-wrought construct within whichit is impossible for God to do wrong. It doesn’t just mean that his character prevents him from doing evil (and keep in mind here, I believe we’re talking about a fictitious character anyway). What I’m getting at is that this version of God has been so cleverly conceptualized that you cannot find anything wrong with him. It’s not possible. All criticisms of the character of the Christian God have been categorically disallowed because your starting point asserts that all he does must be good, must be loving. Since that is your starting point, your frame of reference, absolutely anything and everything which happens must be interpreted as God being faithful to those whom he loves. No matter how awful the situation, it’s God being good to you. Devastating hurricane? God is good. Child has cancer? God is good. Spouse dies in a car wreck? God is good. Minister molests several church members? People are bad but God is good. Congratulations, you have constructed a framework that necessarily precludes any criticism of God. He cannot be unfaithful to you. You have logically disallowed it.” Why God Cannot Forsake You – godless in dixie
“Writing in Politiken magazine, Manu Sareen says the law, which can lead to a fine or 4 years in prison for “publicly mocking or deriding the teachings or worship of a legally existing religious community in the country”, privileges religious beliefs over other beliefs. He wrote: “Free speech and human rights are far more important than the danger that someone might feel offended if their religion is subject to mockery and derision.” Danish blasphemy law questioned by church minister – National Secular Society
“I’m pro-abortion. Pro-reproductive rights. Pro-choice.
This is not something I’m revealing flippantly. I’ve been wrestling with whether or not to even write this series for weeks now. I started writing about these ideas back in February. I took the time to explain my stance toward hormonal birth control. I’ve believed, for a long time now, that the most common rhetoric of the pro-life/anti-abortion movement is at best misleading, but that most of the information commonly available to pro-life individuals is, much of the time, outright deceptions.
This isn’t a recent development. It started over four years ago, now. It started when I was raped. It started when I realized I was over two weeks late. It started the day I called the Crisis Pregnancy Center, frightened and desperate, and the woman on the phone implied that I was a slut and I deserved whatever happened to me. It started when I called Planned Parenthood, and she said the words “whatever you decide you want to do, we will help you get there.” She told me about helping me apply for assistance and aid, about adoption, about my options– all of my options. And I realized that at least part of what I’d always believed had been a lie.” Ordeal of the bitter waters, part one – Defeating the Dragons, Part two, Part three, Part four, Part five and Part six
“You question whether you are too loud, too opinionated and too damn angry.
You have been taught to accommodate, absorb, and the back of your neck aches sometimes from nodding so much.
Every question you ask in class begins with “sorry.”
You are always made to feel like you are infringing with your opinions, as if your words are a burden to bear.
I know you. I know who you are, how you feel, and what goes through your intricate mind. I am you.
You’ve been told that your anger is counter-productive. That you’re just wasting your energies and that (this part hurts the most) you have too much passion.
You don’t understand how anyone could have too much passion.” A Letter To All Women Who Have Been Told To Quieten Down, Speak Softer and Be Less Angry – The Feminist Wire
“My point is that just because something’s natural, it doesn’t mean it’s necessarily the best thing for you.
By today’s standard’s, I’m crap at giving birth. There were three critical points of failure during the birth of my daughter. Firstly, I was induced. Secondly, I had an epidural and, thirdly, I had an emergency C-section.
See, completely rubbish.
If I had had a “natural” birth, it’s almost certain that my daughter would have died—and I probably wouldn’t have been too peachy either. But rather than considering the birth a success and a medical miracle, people commiserated with me because I was unable to do it naturally.” Giving Birth ‘Naturally’ Does Not Make You More of a Woman – Role / Reboot
“That’s the problem though, isn’t it? I know not to sit next to a stranger on public transport if there are other seats available. I’ll bet that most of you who, for one reason or another, feel vulnerable in public know the same. And yet if you’ve never been in the position of feeling that way, it’s likely that it simply wouldn’t occur to you, or that the idea would seem ludicrous. It’s a public space in a city, after all- of course there are going to be strangers in close proximity! Where else would they be, am I right?” Stay out of my bubble! Personal spaces and public places – Consider the Tea Cosy
“My son refuses to go into the boys’ bathroom again. He has stopped drinking his juice boxes at lunch. He refuses to drink anything at breakfast. He’ll do anything to not have to use the boys’ bathroom at school. He’ll do anything to avoid having strangers look at his private parts while taking bets as to what they’ll see when they get to see something.” When the Boys’ Room Isn’t Safe for a Boy – Raising My Rainbow
Beauty & Body Image
“So in the spirit of Lady Gaga, I want to post some pictures that were taken the same week as the Runway Show, in much less flattering positions. Who needs “Us Weekly” to capture unflattering images when you can post them on the internet yourself!” Keeping It Real – Ask Lauren Fleshman
“When you take, and post, a selfie you are actually doing something radical, you are saying I like myself enough to let others see me. Imagine the entire industries that would vanish overnight if women started liking themsves? It would change the nature of advertising, and close the Daily Mail!” Rebecca, Celebrity and Selfies – Sometimes, it’s just a cigar
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