Link Love (2014-05-11)

Thought-provoking

Next time something good happens, stop whatever you are doing, give it a second and appreciate that moment.” The Simple Thing That Makes the Happiest People in the World so Happy – Barking Up the Wrong Tree

The 5 Biggest Life Lessons I Learned in the Arcade – Nerd Fitness

“The root of behavior change and building better habits is your identity. Each action you perform is driven by the fundamental belief that it is possible. So if you change your identity (the type of person that you believe that you are), then it’s easier to change your actions.” How to Change Your Beliefs and Stick to Your Goals for Good – James Clear

The simple secret to meditating (or doing anything) every day – A Year of Productivity

The results were surprising, even to Provine: Less than 20 percent of the real-world laughter incidents he cataloged were in response to anything resembling something funny. Far more often, people were giggling or chuckling at innocuous statements such as “I’ll see you guys later,” “I see your point,” and “Look, it’s Andre!” What’s more, in all of these cases, the person who produced the laugh-provoking statement was 46 percent more likely to be the one chuckling than the person listening. And while laughter might seem like something that can erupt at any point in response to something funny, in only eight of the 1,200 laugh episodes Provine cataloged did the laughter interrupt what somebody was saying. Instead, 99.9 percent of the time, laughter occurred in tidy, natural breaks in the conversation, punctuating the speech like a period or exclamation point.” Why do humans laugh? The evolutionary biology of laughter – Slate

“Change your language. Instead of saying “I don’t have time” try saying “it’s not a priority,” and see how that feels. Often, that’s a perfectly adequate explanation.” Are You As Busy As You Think? – WSJ

Religion

“Being taken care of, you see, comes with strings. I could be taken care of, but only if I gave up my right to my own relationships, beliefs, and choices. Being taken care of felt safe, yes, but there was a price to pay, a sacrificing of autonomy. In the end, I made a choice—I chose my freedom. Freedom came at the expense of responsibility, and making all of those big scary decisions. Freedom meant that I was thrust out on my own, that I had to find my own housing, pay for my own college, apply for my own jobs, and make my own decisions. Freedom is hard. Sometimes it hurts. Sometimes it’s intimidating. But it’s also liberating, an opening up of options, a slipping out of my skin and flitting through the clouds. In some sense, freedom is like love—without risking the pain of loss, how would we experience the beauty of human connection? And so, in the end, I embraced freedom and grew up.” I Just Wanted Someone to Take Care of Me – Love, Joy, Feminism

“But there’s something else.  I was raised a Christian, and as such I was taught that people have something fundamentally wrong with them.  Like a thick vein of mineral coursing through bedrock, the notion of human brokenness runs beneath the whole structure of the Christian message.  It’s crucial to the belief system.  In order to need a savior you have to have something to save people from.  According to “the good news,” that something is ourselves.  When challenged about this, they will quickly backpedal and insist that it’s sin, not you, that you need saving from; it’s really something external to you, they will say.  But this isn’t exactly an honest representation of how most Christians are taught to think and talk about themselves.  When the public spotlight turns away and they begin to talk to each other and to themselves, the self-hatred and critical language begins to flow.  You hear it in their prayers.  You hear it in their favorite songs.  You hear it in their testimonies and read it on their blogs.  Negative self-talk abounds, and it’s inseparable from the narrative they recite to themselves every day.  I learned it well, and it still haunts me to this day.” Anti-human Theology: Learning to Hate Yourself – Godless in Dixie

Equality

What Boys Look for in Girls – Everyday Feminism

“Even when allegations surface about a physical assault against female students, the fraternity members’ biggest concern was their reputation so that women (seen as purely transactional) would still come to their rapey parties. “Something needs to be done so bitches will still go to our parties,” one fraternity brother writes.” Leaked Emails From American University Frat Reveal Prevalence of Rape Culture in U.S. Capital – Policy Mic

Rapist sentenced to do community service at a rape crisis center – Feministing

“Is it a compliment when a complete stranger says ‘hey, nice shoes!’? Yes, it is — I occasionally compliment fine shoes myself. Is it a compliment when a stranger says ‘nice ass!’? Well…not so much. Because one comment is about an accessory, an item someone deliberately chose as part of her presentation, something she can take on and off. She may have chosen to wear those shoes just for herself, with no one else in mind, but she might still appreciate hearing that someone thinks they’re excellent shoes.
But her ass, well, that’s a different story. That’s not something that she can take on and take off. Now, she may have worked quite hard on her butt, and she could be stoked that someone thinks it looks good, but that’s an individual thing, not something generic to all women. The tone and delivery of a compliment about her butt might make a big impression in her perception of it. The fact of the matter is that a comment like ‘nice ass’ feels crude and unpleasant and threatening, because extended from ‘nice ass’ is something slimy and threatening and gross, something sinister.” Why can’t you just deal with it? ‘It’s a compliment!’ – this ain’t living

Male rape in America: A new study reveals that men are sexually assaulted almost as often as women – Slate

Beauty & Body Image

It’s the nature of hearts to break. It’s in their job description. When a heart is doing what it’s supposed to be doing, it holds nothing back. And sometimes it gets broken.
And it’s all to avoid something that can’t be avoided. While we are postponing our joy for a future time when everything will be perfect, life is going on with or without our consent — and we are missing it. People come and go, pain comes and goes. But so does joy. And if our hearts are closed because we don’t want to suffer, they won’t be open enough to recognize the joy as it flies by.”
Thinness, Happiness and the Illusion of Control: Let Your Heart Break – Beauty Redefined

From Shabby to Chic, the Evolution of Nurse Uniforms in Call the Midwife – Rewire

Selfies challenge the idea that you need a justification to be seen. You’re announcing that you exist in the world and are going about your day.” Selfies and Misogyny: The Importance of Selfies as Self-Love – Everyday Feminism

Inspirational

But! My best friend (because she’s amazing and smart and tough) responded to their come-cancel-this-in-person request with: 
“I’d prefer not to.” A four word phrase that might change your life – yes and yes 

“We’re convinced that we need to be mean to ourselves in order to move about our days. In order to “get results.” In order to “get healthy.”
We assume we need to take on a punitive perspective to make positive changes.
We think being kind to ourselves is a weakness. We assume kindness is only reserved for people who’ve lost weight or anyone we deem perfect.” Experimenting with Self-Compassion – Weightless

Health

Andy Puddicombe: All it takes is 10 mindful minutes – TED

Let’s imagine a perfect night:  You go to bed at a time that you’re happy with.  You’re not stressed out because you didn’t just watch The Walking Dead, you’re reading a good fiction book in bed that’s putting you closer to sleep rather than checking your smart phone or screwing around on the internet (damn youTwitch.tv).  You sleep uninterrupted  through the night. You have kickass dreams. When you wake up, either naturally or with an alarm…you immediately get out of bed, without a single snooze, and you feel damn good.  You then crush your morning routine and dominate your day. If you’re looking at your screen and laughing right now, you’re not alone.  I’d guess this is a pipe dream for a huge majority of our society because they’re not sure how sleep actually works, and thus have NOT made sleep a priority. It’s time to start looking at sleep as one of your most important tasks.” Everything You Need to Know About Sleep – Nerd Fitness

A Guide to Naps – Exist

There’s a lot that we, as a culture, don’t get about mental illnesses. We act like depression is the same as feeling down in the dumps, describe ourselves as ADD if we’re distracted one day, and bipolar if we’re hangry and need a snack to get back on the level.  One of the biggest things that we do, though, is act as if each of those labels actually describe just one thing- as if depression is like the measles, a specific thing that we can isolate and treat.” Medicating the Jerkbrain and the Single Story of Mental Illness – Consider the Teacosy

The Dark Side of Dark Chocolate – Mark’s Daily Apple

Recipes

Easy Coconut Panna Cotta (Dairy-free, Paleo) – Detoxinista

Grain-Free “White” Dinner Rolls – Deliciously Organic

Yeast-Based Paleo Bread – The Paleo Mom

Grilled Sardines with Preserved Lemon Gremolata – And Here We Are

Coconut Flour Classic Vanilla Cake from Indulge Cookbook – Healy Eats Real

Buttered Spinach from an 1840s Farmwife’s Journal – Nourished Kitchen

Paleo Onion Rings – Brittany Angel

Paleo Brownies (Double Chocolate) – Civilized Caveman Cooking Creations

Mango Ginger Coconut Ice Cream – Paleo Non Paleo

Melted Blueberries with Ginger – The Sprouting Seed

Almond Butter Chocolate Banana Boats – Mindfully Frugal Mom

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