Link Love (2014-05-24)

Thought-provoking

“Firstly, for children growing up in an institutionalized, orphanage-type setting, it is of the utmost importance that children be able to develop a stable, long term attachment to their caregivers. Allowing troops of travelers to come in and hug, play and laugh with the kids every few weeks has precisely the opposite effect. Just as it was useful for you as a child to develop long term, stable bonds with the people who cared for you, so it is important for those children. To take part in orphanage volunteering is to take part in a cycle of creating and abandoning relationships that helps nobody emotionally except you.
Secondly, unless the agency you are volunteering with has done background checks on the lot of you, they are being superbly irresponsible in allowing you carte blanche to enter the institution and interact with the kids. No sane orphanage that has the interests of its children at heart would allow hundreds of complete strangers to play with their children each year. Any that does is failing in their duty of care and should not have you as an accomplice in doing so.” Why You Shouldn’t Participate in Voluntourism – Matador Network

10 Ways to Level Up Your Life in 5 Minutes or Less – Nerd Fitness

The principle here is that you have one stock of willpower or one self-control muscle. It’s a “domain general resource” as people say. It’s not specific to any one activity. People say, “I have good willpower for washing the dishes but not for getting my work done.” That’s wrong. It’s the same willpower. You may allocate it to one thing or the other, but it’s all coming from the same stockpile.” How to easily increase willpower and improve self-control – Barking Up the Wrong Tree

The Habit Action List – zen habits

“All of the people I know who I would consider to be sexual or relationship savants, have put in the time.
They, usually through pain, have pushed themselves to learn more and understand their own behaviour and how to make these things work well.
They’ve taken responsibility for their healing and learning.
This means that like any other facet of their lives—exercise, health, nutrition, career—they understand that their relationship needs constant tending to thrive.” Conscious Coupling – Kim Anami

How to diffuse conflict (almost) instantly – and get angry people to calm down + be cool – Alexandra Frazen

Religion

“Why should religion be treated any differently from any other kind of idea about the world? Why, alone among all other ideas, should it be protected from criticism, questions, mockery when it’s ridiculous, excoriation when it’s appalling? Why, alone among all other ideas, should we not try to persuade people out of it if we think it’s mistaken?
Why should religion be the exception?” Why Does Religion Always Get a Free Ride – Alternet

Equality

“But being bummed out doesn’t mean you aren’t privileged. Having a rough day, or a rough life, doesn’t mean you aren’t privileged. Only you can truly know your narrative, and I can’t tell you what it is, but “my great grand parents” this, or “my dad worked so hard” that, and all this “I had a tough childhood” shit doesn’t mean you aren’t privileged.
Because of who you were born to be — because of who we were born to be — we are handed a lot of things. Among them, we can live openly, in safety, be employed and be ourselves and nobody can ever legally tell us not to be. There are a few ways we can react to this. We can feel guilty. We can feel lucky. We can ignore it all and and pretend it’s a liberal conspiracy and continue living blissfully.
Or we can engage with our identities.” Dear White, Straight, Cisgender, Man People: You Are Privileged – It’s Pronounced Metrosexual

Shawing: My Patriarchal Agreement – Disrupting Dinner Parties

“These behaviors, the interrupting and the over-talking, also happen as the result of difference in status, but gender rules. For example, male doctors invariably interrupt patients when they speak, especially female patients but patients rarely interrupt doctors in return. Unless the doctor is a woman. When that is the case, she interrupts far less and is herself interrupted more. This is also true of senior managers in the workplace. Male bosses are not frequently talked over or stopped by those working for them, especially if they are women; however, female bosses are routinely interrupted by their male subordinates.” 10 Simple Words Every Girl Should Learn – Role / Reboot

Man who drugged and raped his wife for years because she was “snippy” gets no prison time – Feministing

“ntersectional feminism tells us that oppression comes in many different forms. Someone is not simply oppressed or privileged: we can be simultaneously privileged and oppressed by different aspects of our identities.
For example, somebody can be privileged by the fact that they are cisgender, thin, and white, while being oppressed by the fact that they are queer, disabled, and female.” Kyriarchy 101: We’re Not Just Fighting the Patriarchy Anymore – Everyday Feminism

You are not entitled someone else’s attention and affection! Avoiding someone is not “violent.” YOU GUYS WANT OPPOSITE THINGS. And yes, it is on you to take care of your own feelings here. It is on you to do what you can to heal and get over it. Talk to your friends. Talk to a therapist. Say the Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear. Don’t force your ex to take care of you!” Entitlement Much – Captain Awkward

Beauty & Body Image

Fairy-tale media narratives of weight loss tell us that if we lose weight, our changed bodies will finally fit mainstream standards of attractiveness, and that all our problems will finally be gone.
The problem here is not weight loss itself, but the importance media attaches to it. It’s as if weight loss is the fairy godmother inCinderella, with the ability to improve everything in one fell swoop. But it should not come as a surprise that you are still yourself after losing weight – flaws included.” Weight loss fairy tales – About-Face

Clothes should fit you, you needn’t fit them. The styles, shapes, and specific garments that slide onto your gorgeous form and make you grin at your radiant reflection? Those are the ones that deserve the honor of bedecking your bod. Don’t let ill-fitting clothing convince you that you’re wrong or strange. Celebrities – who spend hours exercising every day and hire chefs to keep their diets monitored – have every single item of clothing they own tailored to fit, including plain tees and camisoles. No one – not even a professional clothing model – looks amazing in every garment ever designed. Don’t expect yourself to, and try not to agonize over the items that fight your body.” It’s Not You, It’s the Clothes – Already Pretty

Inspirational

Kintsukuroi (Japanese): the act of repairing broken pottery by filling the cracks with gold. kintsukuroi: stories in the scars, beauty in the broken places – Justine Musk

Because you’re worthy. Why Should You Love Yourself Now? – Gala Darling

Stop putting yourself down. I mean it. Now. – Musings of an Inappropriate Woman

I’m Sorry. I Can’t Read Your Blog Right Now – A Deeper Story

Health

A Primal Primer: Leaky Gut – Mark’s Daily Apple

Paleo and Menstrual Cramps – Paleo for Women

Tips and Tricks for Eating more Offal – The Paleo Mom

The Surprising Health Benefits of Common Herbs and Spices – Lifehacker

Treating depression without drugs, part 1 – Chris Kresser, Part 2 & Part 3

Recipes

Ginger Infused Honey Lemonade Cocktails – Lexi’s Clean Kitchen

Maple Roasted Almond Butter – Kitchen Simplicity

Cauliflower Crust Pizza – A Beautiful Mess

Caribbean Jerk Chicken – Wellness Mama

Liver Pate (AIP) – My BIG FAT Grain Free Life

Organ Love: Simply Marinated Chicken Hearts – Phoenix Helix

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