Link Love (2014-07-05)

Thought-provoking

Ruth Chang: How to make hard choices – TED

“It’s easy to play safe when you hide behind a non-sexual relationship, or a lackluster one.
None of you is really on the line.
You can spend years hiding in that place.
But when you meet and let yourself open to someone who demands all of you, sees all of you, there’s no more hiding.
Or when you decide to really let yourself be seen, everything changes.” The Price of Love – Kim Anami

Stop Caring What People Think – Danielle Dowling

“This person sounds exhausting, and her relentless negativity is going to destroy her friendships if left unchecked. You can be a cool person who is going through a shitty time and who is not handling it so well. You can be super, super sad.  You can ask your friends to listen and help take care of you.  But you cannot endlessly use them as a source of free therapy, or expect them to stick around if you act like a toxic jerk.” Question 143: I lent an ear to a friend, how do I get it back? – Captain Awkward

How to Deal With Jealousy – Dr NerdLove

Religion: Sexual Abuse + Victim Blaming

These include some of the links that went into my post about sexual abuse and victim blaming within religious communities:

“The offender need only repent. That’s it. If he repents, his slate is wiped clean. The victim must forgive, and that means never being angry, never being bitter, and getting over what happened post haste.” When Evangelicalism Makes Things Easy for Sexual Offenders – and Hard for Their Victims – Love, Joy, Feminism

“Through this whole process, I learned that much is required of those victimized, while little is asked of sex offenders. When my husband began to spin his story, it was received with affirmations of how courageous he was. He was even placed on the worship team within a few months of his confessions. In contrast, I was expected to never be angry, bitter, or wrestle with forgiveness. I needed to heal quickly and quietly. And, of course, I couldn’t ever question his “recovery.” His was a wondrous redemption story, and to question his trustworthiness was to question God’s work in his life.” I married a sex offender – Converge

“Save all of us victims of child abuse the “all sins are the same” or “he needs love and compassion and grace.” All sins do not have the same damn repercussions as others. All sins do not leave young youth with bitter views of church and its congregations. All sins do not leave the sinner in jail and the victim in therapy, and sometimes hospitals because of suicidal tendencies. All sins do not leave young girls with a fear of authority figures. While you stand on your boat of misguided love, compassion and grace for the child molester, the child is fighting the tidal waves of guilt and shame out alone in the ocean.” My Innocence Was Stolen From Me – Redemption Pictures

Equality

“Poorly executed Strong Female Characters are such a recurring frustration they’ve been the subject of an entire Kate Beaton comic strip. But even if you create a truly well-written, soulful badass, there’s no point if she doesn’t have any real role in the plot:
Bringing in a Strong Female Character™ isn’t actually a feminist statement, or an inclusionary statement, or even a basic equality statement, if the character doesn’t have any reason to be in the story except to let filmmakers point at her on the poster and say “See? This film totally respects strong women!”” ‘Strong Female Characters’ Aren’t Enough Goddamit – Jezebel

4 Reasons We Need More Girls of Color in Young Adult Media – Everyday Feminism

“So here’s my question for you today: how often do you say, “I don’t know”? And when do you say it? And why?
The research finding is this: women hold themselves to a higher threshold of certainty before offering an opinion on a topic, as compared to men. In other words, in order to share an idea, information, a guess, women tend to think they need to be fairly sure they are right, in order to speak up. Men hold themselves to a lower certainty threshold.” what’s your threshold? – Tara Sophia Mohr

Inspirational

Additional Questions to Spark Self-Discovery – World of Psychology

Becoming Who We Know We Are – Create As Folk

5 Signs You Need to Make a Change – Your Kick Ass Life

Beauty & Body Image

“Wear dresses if you want to. Wear cute shoes and earrings and bright red lipstick. Shave off every hair on your body if that’s what feels right. But please recognize that you don’t do any of those things because you just happen to like doing them. Please acknowledge that you made a choice that was heavily informed by the fucked up misogynistic culture we live in. Accept that sometimes your choices are anti-feminist, not because you’re a bad feminist but because that’s the world we live in right now. And once you’ve done all that, let’s try to figure out a way to change things so that girls no longer have to feel like their bodies aren’t good enough just the way they are.” Shaving Your Legs Is Not Feminist (But You Can Still Be a Feminist and Shave) – The Belle Jar

Makeup and Professionalism – Already Pretty

“In March, the academic journal Sex Roles published a study suggesting that young girls who played with Barbie dolls ended the play session thinking that when they grow up, they won’t be as capable of doing the same jobs that boys can do—even if their Barbie was dressed like a doctor. Girls who played with a formless Mrs. Potato Head figure, on the other hand, were much less likely to count themselves out. Now, New York City moms Dawn Nadeau and Julie Kerwin are teaming up to offer boys and girls a play alternative that looks like a woman but not an object. Last month, they launched their own action figure company, IAmElemental, and have since raised over $160,000 on Kickstarter to jump-start a line of female action figures inspired by everyday “superpowers” like bravery, honesty, persistence, and fear. I talked with Nadeau (who has two girls, ages 6 and 8) and Kerwin (two boys, 8 and 16) about taking on Mattel, how to get boys to pick up female action figures, and the challenges of molding a plastic butt.” IAmElemental action figures: Julie Kerwin and Dawn Nadeau build a better action figure for girls – Slate

Growing Up Dark-Skinned in Colour-Conscious India – Everyday Feminism

Health

Nutritional Cures for Damaged Teeth – Mark’s Daily Apple

Is Fibromyalgia Caused By SIBO and Leaky Gut? – Chris Kresser

The WHYs behind the Autoimmune Protocol: Alcohol – The Paleo Mom

If you eat Paleo, you are still going to die – Paleo for Women

Recipes

Strawberry Shortcake Cupcakes – Against All Grain

Slow Cooker Harissa Stew – Mark’s Daily Apple

Lacto-Fermented Ginger Carrots – Salixisme

Sea Salt Chocolate Cheesecake Truffles – Paleo Parents

Kombucha Cosmopolitan – Nourishing Joy

Autoimmune Protocol Friendly Beef Jerky – The Paleo Mom

What To Do With Way Too Much Sage – And Here We Are

Chicken Abricot Curry – A Clean Plate

How to Make Homemade Breakfast Sausage – Wellness Mama

Salted Caramel Chocolate Coconut Bars – Savory Lotus

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