Link Love (2014-07-12)
“And yes, I know that they need to be taught how to behave appropriately. I just no longer believe that yelling is the way to teach them appropriate behavior. Losing my temper and behaving badly is not the way to teach them how to act when they lose their temper and behave badly.
Because the example we set for them — how to act when things don’t go our way — is much, much more important than the rules we set for them. They learn lessons about behavior by our example, over time.” Parental Zen: How to Keep Your Cool as a Parent – zen habits
My No-Soap, No-Shampoo. Bacteria-Rich Hygiene Experiment – NY Times
“So let’s detangle things a little here, starting with the question of signals or indicators of interest.As I’ve mentioned before: women are socialized to be indirect, especially when it comes to interacting with men and giving indications that they’re attracted to somebody. While men are taught to be forward – even aggressive – in displaying their interest, women are taught to be more subtle and rely much more on body language and eye-contact to communicate intent.Part of the reason for this – and why women on average don’t take a more proactive approach to dating – is because a lot of guys tend to respond badly to women who are aggressive or overt, and because women are more likely to be harassed even for baseline friendliness.” Ask Dr NerdLove: Do Women Have It Easier In Dating? – Kotaku
4 Life Lessons That Lead to Happiness, Success and Longevity – Barking Up the Wrong Tree
“We build walls to protect ourselves.
Walls are the antithesis of trust.
And trust is everything.” What Kills Relationships Fast – Kim Anami
The Most Powerful Way to Resolve Conflict in Relationships – Tiny Buddha
“My salvation anxiety goes way back. I remember getting out of my bed in the middle of the night when I was no more than five or six and going to my parents in tears, unsure of whether I was “truly” saved and whether my sinner’s prayer had actually been valid. Within evangelical Christianity, salvation is all in your head. It’s not about your deeds, it’s about your mental processes. But I found my mental processes more confusing than clear. I overanalyzed and often ended up freaking myself out. Hence the tears and the running to my parents. Each time this happened, my mother told me that the fact that I was worried about my salvation was a sure sign that I was indeed saved. This helped, but it didn’t fix everything—after all, where is that teaching in the Bible?” What’s More Terrifying Than Left Behind – Love, Joy, Feminism
“The #BornPerfect campaign will aim to dissuade parents who might be considering reparative therapy by providing them access to psychological experts and those who have been through such treatment, like Brinton. “We have no doubt they love their children,” Kendell says, noting that many parents might believe LGBT people lead more difficult lives and wish to spare their children from hardship. “We want parents to understand there are resources for them to come to terms with embracing their child as they are,” she says, whether those are online or public forums. The campaign will also include ongoing legislative efforts in other states to pass reparative-therapy bans, though Kendell declined to say which will be next at this time for fear it would mobilize the movement’s opponents.” #BornPerfect Campaign Aims to End Gay Conversion Therapy – Times
Do You See These 10 Everyday Sexisms? – Everyday Feminism
“First, we don’t know how broadly this opinion reaches, or how slippery the slope downhill could be. The Court repeated several times in the opinion that it was only deciding the particular question here (contraceptive coverage, closely-held corporations, etc.) but there aren’t any principled reasons in the opinion to cabin it to that question. Why wouldn’t the same principles apply to a company that didn’t want to cover, say, blood transfusions (to which Jehovah’s Witnesses object) or psychiatric medication (to which Scientologists object) or even vaccines? And it’s not just insurance coverage at issue – it’s sex discrimination, race discrimination, sexual orientation, and gender identity discrimination, among other issues. What about a company whose owners believe men should be paid more than women because the bible teaches that men are the heads of the household? (True story, those cases have been brought before). Or a company whose owners believe that LGBT individuals shouldn’t marry or reproduce? (We’re all too familiar with that refrain). Or even a company who believes that African-Americans and Jews should not work with Caucasian Christians? (As many companies did in the Jim Crow era). Some of these scenarios may seem far-fetched, but there are no safeguards in the court’s opinion to prevent this expansive reading of RFRA from being used as a backdoor wedge to start undermining a lot of the civil rights protections we now take for granted.” In the wake of the Hobby Lobby ruling, what happens next? – Feministing
Jamila Lyiscott: 3 ways to speak English – TED
Beauty & Body Image
“”Orange Is the New Black” enters a landscape that labels non-thin bodies, at best, unattractive and, at worst, diseased, and inverts the resulting stereotypes with a slew of counterexamples: Classically attractive male guard Bennett does not, as he would on a lesser show, pursue a relationship with Maritza (Diane Guerrero), who Gloria jokes “looks like Sofia Vergara,”but rather with Daya (Dasha Polanco), who has a look not readily represented on television. Elsewhere, in a reversal of the oft-repeated trope, “fat woman gets rejected in her quest for the love of a thin person,” we see Tastee (Danielle Brooks) eschew the romantic advances of Poussey (Samira Wiley). Since the show’s first season, Lea Delaria’s character Big Boo has served as a kind of Litchfield prison sexual fiend — and while her aggressive-often-to-the-point of-harassment pursuits are not (and should not be) endorsed by the show, they do tell a very different story of how fat bodies can relate to sex than the one that says they should stringently diet and wait patiently to be skinny before they can even enter the arena.” Why The Body Diversity On ‘Orange Is The New Black’ Is So Important – Huffington Post
“1. You are enough just the way you are.
Forget the headstands, the crazy balancing positions, or being able to get your legs over your head. The same holds true for worldly achievements, too. Savasana reminds us that we are enough as we are.” Ten Beautiful Lessons Learned from Savasana – Thank Your Body
“Throughout our society, we have been taught many stereotypes, myths, and outright lies about women and our appearance.
We tend to think of the body as natural, but it is also social and political. Culture and the institutions of our society (politics, the media, schools, the family, etc.) dictate what body types are perceived as ideal at any given time or whether there is much focus on the body at all. They create gender distinctions that add social definition and meaning to those biological differences in our bodies.” Lies My Society Told Me – Style Cassentials
“Loving yourself doesn’t mean that every moment is easy.” – Finding Joy In the Cracks & Crevices of Painful Moments – Mara Glatzel
“I’ve talked before about how inner critic/fearful voices are not, in fact, your enemy–it’s a wound. It’s a part of you that is afraid, shaking, desperately in need of love.” Why Hating Your Fear Is a Total Waste of Time – Your Courageous Life
“What feels most like LOVE?” – Susan Hyatt
A Quick Guide to Perfect Eggs: 22 Tips for Buying, Storing and Cooking a Primal Favorite – Mark’s Daily Apple
Natural Solutions to Increase Stomach Acid and Improve Digestion – Primal Docs
How to Get Calcium Without Dairy – Wellness Mama
The Difference Between Reversing Autoimmune Disease and Curing It – Phoenix Helix
Paleo diet used by Jack Osbourne and Chad Vaccarino to manage multiple sclerosis – Examiner
The Paleo Cure? Lose Weight and Feel Great – CBN
Grain-Free Oatmeal Raisin Cookies – Against All Grain
Homemade Healthy Pork Rinds Chicharrones Recipe – All Day I Dream About Food
Carrot Ginger Sauerkraut – Enjoying This Journey
Cinnamon Coconut Crisp Cereal (AIP) – Sweet Potatoes and Social Change
Sweet Potatoes with Hearty Meat Sauce (No Pasta Needed) – Mark’s Daily Apple
Autoimmune Protocol (AIP) Pizza – The Real Food Guide
Easy Lemon Curd (paleo) – Savory Lotus
Nut-Free Paleo Chewy Granola Bars – The Paleo Mom
Bolognese – A Clean Plate
Turmeric Roasted Potatoes – And Here We Are