Link Love (2014-07-19)

Thought-provoking

5 Rules to Make Dating Easier (On Yourself) – Dr NerdLove

Second, participants didn’t notice their own performance declines. When participants graded themselves, they believed that their performance declined for a few days and then tapered off. In reality, they were continuing to get worse with each day. In other words, we are poor judges of our own performance decreases even as we are going through them. In the real world, well-lit office spaces, social conversations, caffeine, and a variety of other factors can make you feel fully awake even though your actual performance is sub-optimal. You might think that your performance is staying the same even on low amounts of sleep, but it’s not. And even if you are happy with your sleep-deprived performance levels, you’re not performing optimally.” The Science of Sleep: How to Sleep Better – James Clear

7 Ways to Worry Less – All Groan Up

Religion

“I once asked a young earth creationist brother what he would do if there were a scientific discovery that squarely and obviously contradicted young earth creationism. He told me he would assume that a future scientific discovery would invalidate that discovery. In other words, there was utterly no way scientific evidence could change his mind. Why? Because his belief about the origins of the earth was religious rather than scientific.” Young Earth Creationism Isn’t Science – Love, Joy, Feminism

Equality

“So… some of those aren’t completely unreasonable grievances. In fact, some of them are really serious issues that need to be addressed (I do wonder which men they’re talking about with regards to high unemployment, because something tells me it isn’t about black men). There also isn’t an issue among this bunch that wouldn’t be solved by undoing patriarchy/misogyny/sexism and redefining masculinity/manhood.” The one where I need help understanding why MRAs don’t become feminists – Feministing

“Perhaps the big lesson here, the silver lining, is this: you don’t have to choose between power and love. Because I think what holds us back, in so many subtle and not-so-subtle ways (and this is true for both genders) is the fear of not being loved – even, or especially, if we can barely recognize the love in our lives in the first place. Men learn that they won’t be loved if they’re not powerful. Women learn that they won’t be loved if they are powerful.” 10 quick thoughts regarding love + power + badass women – Justine Musk

Why “like a girl” shouldn’t be an insult – Feministing

“However, I believe that there is a disservice being done towards the fathers and potential fathers in a family. Perpetuating the stereotype of the mother that does all of the work and the father that “doesn’t know any better” about raising children is harmful, especially in a nuclear family where the parents are still together.
It gives the impression that it’s normal for fathers to be invisible when it comes to the hard part – raising the kids.” Mother, May I…. Change Archaic Parenting Roles? – Everyday Feminism

“It’s comforting: the thought that people are either entirely good or entirely evil; that if someone has achieved something great, they surely cannot also have committed something as vile as sexual assault; that if someone is convicted – or even so much as accused of rape or sexual assault – somehow any good they may have done in their life is erased. It makes us feel safe in the knowledge that if we ourselves have done good things we cannot possibly have done bad things or be bad people. Labelling someone as “evil” is shorthand for “not like us” – it creates a cognitive barrier between violent, abusive acts and ourselves. The problem is, of course, that this kind of comfort is not only false but dangerous.” Rape and reputation – The F Word

“Because what the ‘friendzone’ teaches us is that you don’t see the people you’re attracted to as fully human. You can’t see that they have motivations that have absolutely nothing to do with yours. That your attraction to them- that stomach-churning, gut-wrenching feeling you can’t but have around them- doesn’t oblige others to feel a particular way, or to act in the way that you’d like them. And someday I hope you understand that, right in your guts. I really, really do.” To The Guy Who OKC Who Messaged Me About The Friend Zone – Consider the Tea Cosy

Relationships

“There’s a habit of mind that the masters have,” Gottman explained in an interview, “which is this: they are scanning social environment for things they can appreciate and say thank you for. They are building this culture of respect and appreciation very purposefully. Disasters are scanning the social environment for partners’ mistakes.”
“It’s not just scanning environment,” chimed in Julie Gottman. “It’s scanning the partner for what the partner is doing right or scanning him for what he’s doing wrong and criticizing versus respecting him and expressing appreciation.” Masters of Love – The Atlantic

“When we’re in love, our most precious commodity is trust.
Trust is the foundation of everything in a relationship:
Are you safe to open my heart to?
If you injure my heart, how do you mend it?
If I fall, will you catch me?
Do you take my tenderness and wrap it up with love?” In Love and Orgasm We Trust – Kim Anami

“5.5) Honestly, it all dials back to number 5.  When broken down into it’s most raw, unfiltered essence–we’re afraid.  Fearful of being alone.  Because we think “alone” will leave us vulnerable + potentially deemed unlovable.  This is not true, of course.  But when comfort, as we know it,  is threatened our survival nature can quickly overtake intelligence and irrational behavior reins supreme. And in this case we stall a long overdue separation.” Why We Stay In a Relationship Too Long – Danielle Dowling

Beauty & Body Image

10 Ways We Body Shame Without Realizing It – Internal Acceptance Movement

Inspirational

“Now I’m telling you, it has honestly taken me decades to finally have the thought I had next, which was this: “You can take the break before you need it.” You can take the break, replenish, stop whatever you are doing – when you still have fuel in the tank.” Take the break before you need it – Tara Sophia Mohr

“What do you want? If this was the last year of your life, how would you spend it?” What If You’re Scared of What You Want? – Create As Folk

“Awake is evocative + intense.
It is the subtle internal shift that produces monumental awareness.
Awake is your birthright. Your inheritance.
And it begins with gratitude.
So get gracious.
Start today.” Declaration of Gratitude – Danielle Dowling

Health

16 Things That Affect Your Gut Bacteria – Mark’s Daily Apple

Reasons to Use Apple Cider Vinegar: #1 Digestive Support – Divine Health From the Inside Out

What is Carrageenan and Is It Safe to Eat? – Wellness Mama

19 Indicators You May Be Hypothyroid – Paleo for Women

How to soften nostalgia for sugar – Growing Human(Kind)ness

Does Avoiding the Sun Shorten Your Lifespan? – Chris Kresser

Recipes

Autoimmune Paleo Salmon Cakes – The Primitive Homemaker

Chocolate Brownie Bites – Our Paleo Life

Chocolate Coconut Butter – The Coconut Mama

Chewy Dark Chocolate Chunk Cookies with Sea Salt – Slim Palate

Omelet Muffins – I Don’t Know…

Coconut Ghee Egg Spiced Chai Latte – Primal Girl

Lacto-Fermented Homemade Ketchup – GNOWFGLINS

Raw Mini Mascarpone Berry Cakes (grain-free, gluten-free, refined sugar free) – Texanerin Baking

Bacon and Kale Pizza (Autoimmune Protocol Friendly) – Guest Post by Tyler Evelyn – The Paleo Mom

Fruit Pizza – Paleo Parents

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