Link Love (2014-08-17)
“But when we talk about “what women want”, we tend to assume that the stereotypes are universal – and usually based on upper-middle class WASPs. Even when breaking it down tends to aggregate all women into the broad stereotypes of their segment; all white women are X, all black women are Y, all Asian women are Z, all lesbians and queer women are W, all trans women are J, etc. The assumptions about any one group whether in the macro (all women) or the micro (bisexual Five Nations women) erase the existence of an individual who doesn’t conform to that strict definition of womanhood; at best she becomes “the exception that proves the rule”” The Myth of What Women Want – Dr NerdLove
How to increase self control and become more successful – Barking Up the Wrong Tree
“One of the most vital components to creating a happy, healthy, and fulfilling relationship is to become a master at setting boundaries in relationships. In simple terms, boundaries are the thing that keeps us separate from the other person. The boundaries are what set the place between where you end and the other person begins.” 6 Steps to Setting Boundaries in Relationships – Jennifer Twardowski
Never Stop Learning: How Self-Education Creates a Bullet-Proof Career – 99U
“We often say that “intent is not magic,” but in some cases intent is actually important, and this is one of them. What Lambie, Cruikshank, and Stilwel did would be a crime regardless of their intent, but the fact that all three individuals were part of the Scottish Defense League, an offshoot of the English Defense League, and that one had previous arrests for religiously-motivated verbal abuse of a Pakistani shopkeeper suggests that the sentences they received were not in any sense an overreaction. This is not about some sort of silly prank—this is about calculated attempts to intimidate, harass, and terrorize Muslims, motivated by xenophobia and racism.” Can We Please Not Defend White Supremacists? – Love, Joy, Feminism
“I’ve watched evangelical friends and relatives travel around the world to help out at orphanages or build houses. Over time, I’ve begun to doubt the productivity of these sorts of trips and of short-term missions trips in general. Does it really do children in an orphanage any good to have foreigners from wealthy nations in and out of their facility? A week or two isn’t long enough for them to bond with a caregiver, but then I suppose that’s a good thing because if it was they’d be continually bonding to a caregiver only to have that caregiver ripped away. And as for building houses, wouldn’t that money be better spent paying local individuals to do the work? It would cost far less and would be a boon to the local economy.” Missionary Tourism – Love, Joy, Feminism
“Feminism is inherently good. It’s not even close to perfect and still needs lots of work and sometimes it gets all fucked up and backward and awful but that doesn’t mean it’s not still worth fighting for. Now go back and replace “Feminism” with “The human race”. It works, right?. That’s because feminists are made of human. Men and women. ” Women Who are Ambivalent about Women Against Women Against Feminism – The Bloggess
“After all, what Dawkins said isn’t just wrong, it’s also harmful. How do you think my friend would experience Dawkins’ comment—my friend who was so traumatized by her rape by a friend that she has PTSD and is afraid to sleep for the nightmares? Creating a hierarchy of rape—categorizing it by harm—is not helpful for survivors. The harm caused by rape is so variable that telling victims that what they experienced was “worse” or “better” than what other victims experienced cannot help but complicate the healing process. It suggests that some suffering is more legitimate than other suffering.” Richard Dawkins and Rape Rape – Love, Joy, Feminism
5 Way Girls Are Taught to Avoid ‘Smart’ (And What We Can Do About It) – Everyday Feminism
“A gay friend saw me with the kids at Jazz at LACMA on Friday night, and apropos of nothing said, “Just so you know I didn’t wear any dresses when I was younger,” which is essentially saying, “Don’t worry. Your kid’s not gay like me.” This openly gay, married man was trying to make me feel better about a problem that didn’t exist. If my son is gay, so be it. Maybe he is. Maybe he’s not. Maybe he’ll be a cross-dresser. Maybe not. I have no control over any of it. All I can do is be supportive. ” My Son Wears Dresses and That’s Okay With Me – xoJane
“Of course, some rapes are more traumatic than others. However, what makes a rape very bad or even worse could include a thousand different factors. It is possible for judges to take some of these factors into account when sentencing convicted rapists; factors which demonstrate greater levels of violence or a very vulnerable victim, for example. Yet none of these factors include whether or not the victim happened to be on a date with their rapist.” Richard Dawkins and the logic of “date rape” – The F-Word
“Whenever we don’t make time to celebrate our achievements and honour what is meaningful to us, we’re not taking ourselves seriously
Whenever we shoo away positive feedback, mentally or literally, we’re not taking ourselves seriously.
Whenever we tell ourselves that our dreams are nice and all, but they’re unrealistic, we’re not taking ourselves seriously.
Whenever we don’t make time for self-care, we’re not taking ourselves seriously.” Why the World Needs You to Take Yourself Seriously – Becoming Who You Are
Difference Between Being Polite + Being Weak – Danielle Dowling
“You were brave. You remember, don’t you?
No? Okay. Here it is. You were brave:
when you stayed;
when you left;
when you said, no, but let’s try this;
when you said no, never;
when you said yes, thank you, more please;” For the moment (and it will come) that has you question your bravery – Tanya Geisler
5 Ways to Invest in Yourself (without spending a big pile of $$$ cash) – Heidi Taylor Coach
““I didn’t feel brave”
I’m not sure you ever do.
How often do you hear something like that? You’ll tell someone that they’ve done something brave- conquered something that scared them- and the first thing they do is deny that it felt the slightest bit brave to them. They were terrified the entire time.” About Bravery – Consider the Tea Cosy
What Self-Love Means: 20+ Ways to Be Good to Yourself – Tiny Buddha
“We put a great deal of attention on avoiding unhealthy romantic relationships, but platonic friendships can be just as damaging, just as toxic, even as abusive. Toxic friends can actually be harder to recognize. We tend to be axiomatic – we’d never be friends with abusers, therefore our friends aren’t abusive. We may excuse their behavior as “that’s just how Adam/Marie/Dan/Steve/Andrea is…”. We may choose to overlook the fact that our friends are toxic because of the sunk cost fallacy – we’ve known them for so long that we can’t really let them go.
But those toxic friends are destroying your self-esteem, ruining your happiness and in many cases actively holding you back. If you’re miserable, it may be time to look around and make sure you haven’t surrounded yourself with toxic friends.” Dump Your Toxic Friends – Dr NerdLove
Slow Cooker Breakfast Meatloaf – Meatified
Hearty Spinach Beef Frittata – Stupid Easy Paleo
Cinnamon Clove Coconut Macaroons – Enjoy This Journey
Lemon Coconut Fudge – Foreverfit.tv
Baked Bananas – A Girl Worth Saving
Coconut Date “Balls” – Oh, The Things We’ll Make
Bakso (Indonesian Beef Balls) – The Domestic Man
Baked Eggs with Creamy Spinach – Mark’s Daily Apple
Fruit & Nut Grain-Free Bars – The Nourishing Home
Healthy Citrus Chicken Strip Recipe (Salad Topping) – Once A Month Meals