Link Love (2014-09-06)
“OPTION ONE: Complain and use the diagnosis as an excuse for inaction. “Sorry, I can’t exercise, I have a bad knee/back/genetics/whatever. Now, hand me the remote and that pint of ice cream. Damn my poor luck!” Unfortunately, life isn’t fair. Some people get to play life on Easy Mode, while others have to play on Legendary Difficulty. That’s just how it works.
OPTION TWO – Become Iron Man: Identify your shrapnel – get x-rays, a check-up, or whatever you need to identify the source of your ailment. Then, accept that you’ll need to make some changes moving forward if you’re going to rise and become Iron Man. You’re going to realize that through some tinkering you can build a stronger self.” What Would Iron Man Do? – NerdFitness
Karima Bennoune: When people of Muslim heritage challenge fundamentalism – TED
“So what if instead of serial relationships one after the other we had parallel ones running alongside one another? Would this improve the odds of some of our key partnerships lasting? The mathematics of probability would say “yes”. As a child I was warned against placing all of my eggs in one basket. Yet as a grown up, I’m being told to do exactly that. Yet the real conundrum here is that none of us are really doing that anyway. So why pretend that we are?” Isn’t it time we admitted we’re all a bit polyamorous? – New Statesman
David Kwong: Two nerdy obsessions meet – and it’s magic – TED
“Sometimes people who are sick- or people who are vulnerable or traumatised or even just plain lonely- do fucked-up, self-destructive things. Sometimes those things are a cry for help or for attention.
I figure, if someone’s sick or lonely or vulnerable or traumatised enough to be willing to harm themselves (or risk killing themselves) for the possibility of some help or attention? We might want to do something other than mock them for that. Maybe we should start paying attention.” Suicide and Self-harm: What’s so terrible about looking for attention? – Consider the Tea Cosy
4 Things You Need To Do To Have A Balanced Relationship – Everyday Feminism
“I have this recurring problem, and I wonder if any of you can relate. I interact with people “in real life” every day and the feedback I get is usually quite positive. I mean people generally seem to like me, you know? I’m a fairly articulate guy, plenty well-groomed, and I dress professionally (most of the time). I’m kind to people, endlessly patient, and generally resourceful at each task I’m given. Sound pretty okay, right? Sure, and bear with me a minute; there’s a point to this. I’m also quite self-sacrificial, I work pretty hard (I have three jobs currently, not counting writing), I seldom rest, and I have pretty high standards for both my professional and my personal lives. People who know me generally give glowing reports for most of what I do.
Until they find out I’m an atheist.
Once that happens, their perception of me heads south, plunging to the depths of disapproval so fast it makes my head spin. It’s disorienting, truly. Also, it’s angering, and rightly so, I think. People I’ve known for years will reverse their opinion of me the instant they find out I don’t believe the same things they believe. How is that possible? And is that really fair? It’s not that I haven’t made my share of mistakes because lemme tell you, I have. But my flaws are no more egregious than those of most of the others I know, and like any ethically-driven person I’m always working on mine. I’m keenly aware of my own weaknesses and am always striving to improve on them to the best of my ability. But that doesn’t seem to matter. Once people learn this about me, it seems to overrule everything else they’ve known about me. For them, belief trumps character every time. But why?” Character Versus Belief – Godless in Dixie
“I’m told that the Duggar children are happy, so clearly my concerns are unjustified. But you know what? The fact that the Duggar children look happy does not actually tell you anything about whether they are happy. This sounds like a rather astounding statement on my part, doesn’t it? Well bear with me! The Duggars follow parenting methods that teach that children should only ever be allowed to be cheerful, smiling, and happy. Yes, really. Those are the only emotions that are permitted.” An Open Letter to Duggar Defenders – Love, Joy, Feminism
“Did you know that people with black-sounding names are 50% less likely to be called back for an interview than people with identical resumes but white-sounding names? Or that while black youth are less likely to abuse drugs or alcohol than white youth, they are 10 times more likely to be sent to prison for drug offenses than are whites? Blacks receive higher sentences than whites for the same crimes, and receivehigher penalties when the victims are white than when the victims are other African Americans. In one year, 80% of those sentenced for crack cocaine offenses were black while less than 1/3 of crack cocaine users were black. One in three black men can expect to spend time in prison at some point in their lives. Whites are more likely to pull a trigger on a black assailant than a white one.” Educating My White Privilege – Love, Joy, Feminism
“In the United States, access to tampons and pads for low-income women is a real problem, too: food stamps don’t cover feminine hygiene products, so some women resort to selling their food stamps in order to pay for “luxuries” like tampons. Women in prison often don’t have access to sanitary products at all, and the high cost of a product that half the population needs multiple times a day, every month for approximately 30 years, is simply, well, bullshit.” The case for free tampons – Jessica Valenti – The Guardian
“Here’s the thing: even if she was cheating on him – hell, even if he caught her in the middle of fucking his best friend while writing insults about his mother on her Facebook page and singing “‘Enry the Eigth” to the tune of “I’m cheating on my boyfriend because fuck him that’s why” – this does not mean she deserved to have a finger laid on her, never mind trying to rape and potentially murder her. There is no justification for beating her. None.
And yet every time, every time, we hear about a man beating a woman, there is inevitably a chorus that chimes in with some variation of “well, maybe the bitch deserved it.” We heard it from War Machine’s fans. We’ve heard it from Chris Brown’s fans after he assaulted Rihanna. We heard it when Charles Saatchi wrapped his hands around Nigella Lawson’s throat. We heard it when Charlie Sheen choked Capri Anderson and threatened to kill her. And we hear it time and time again on the individual level, when non-celebrities are abused by their partners.” Christy Mack and the Crime of “Being a Slut” – Dr NerdLove
“Rituals can have a profound impact on us HSP’s: they calm and ground us, soothe the spirit, slow us down, remind us to live in the present moment, nourish our soul and remind us that we are responsible for our own well-being.” Why Sensitive Souls Need Rituals – Kathryn Nulf
What Difference Can Being Present Make? – Mark’s Daily Apple
“What we want more than anything is to be loved, valued and seen.
It crushes us to be ignored or looked over. Human beings are at our best when we’re in supportive relationships with each other. We crave connection, affection + validation.
It is written into our DNA.
And it is because we need connection so intensely that we fear the loss of it so severely.
The fear of loss is so monumental that we often pretend
we don’t need connection to survive.
The ultimate lie we tell ourselves is that we will never need anyone else.
We think we can do it on our own.” #1 Lie We Tell Ourselves + Why Dependancy Is Good – Danielle Dowling
The busyness trap – why “I’m too busy isn’t good enough” – Stardust
“But, in my heart I was yearning for friendships where I could show up exactly as I was – and know that I could be held there. That I could be just as bright and sparkly and open-hearted as I am in my true nature, and those parts of me would be celebrated and cradled with care. That I could sob, face against the floor, in the middle of the night and you wouldn’t be inconvenienced by my sadness.” A Circle That Can Hold Anything – Mara Glatzel
Monday Mantra: Self-care Is Not Selfish – Dr Romie
Why you want more stomach acid, not less – Balanced Bites
Yoga is Not for Posers – The Role of Inquiry in Yoga – Thank Your Body
At-home fermentation (no science degree required) – Whole9
Are you struggling with anxiety? – Yoga for Endometriosis & Pelvic Pain
Apricot-Almondt “KIND” Bars (GF) – The Nourishing Home
Paleo Ginger Chicken Breasts over Green Spinach – Once a Month Meals
Creamy AIP Mayo – He Won’t Know It’s Paleo
Mango Guacamole (nightshade free) – Meatified
Almond Pulp Double Chocolate Cookies – Against All Grain
Perfect Paleo Crepes – Paleo Non Paleo
Dark Chocolate Gelato (dairy-free, nut-free, coconut-free) – The Paleo Mom
Peachy Bacon Wilted Kale Salad (AIP) – The Primitive Homemaker
Coconut Oil Chocolate: The Ultimate Metabolism-Boosting Snack – Butter Believer
Flourless Chocolate Coconut Butter Cake – The Coconut Mama