Link Love (2014-11-22)

Thought-provoking

Asexuality, Explained in One Simple Comic – Everyday Feminism

“One of the reasons why disclosing in phases can be a benefit is that not only does it give the other person a chance to get to know you as an individual rather than a label, but it also helps you find out more about what kind of person they are. How do they handle these limits that you’ve set? Do they demand explanations? Do they continually forget (or “forget”) that they’re there? Do they only respect them if the reason for their existence is “good enough” (for suitably selfish values of “good”)? Or do they accept that this is how you are and simply respect your boundaries because… well, they’re your boundaries and that’s all the reason they need.” How Do I Talk About My Past With My Boyfriend? – Ask Dr NerdLove

12 Weekend Habits of Highly Successful People – Lifehack

“In my experience dealing with people who behave this way (and I have dealt with more than I’d like), it helps to keep your expectations really, really low. Again, this is my experience, but they don’t get it, and they won’t get it. They don’t apologize. They don’t gain self-awareness, or if they do, they don’t do it where you can see it. That magic day that your sister seems to want from you, where you will come to her and acknowledge all of your “wrongdoings” and maybe you’ll cry a little together and after that you’ll be close, like you were when you were kids? That day probably isn’t coming, for either of you. You didn’t do anything wrong, so if you did something like that it would be a charade. She won’t ever see that she did anything wrong. Logic won’t work, evidence won’t work, because in her emotional landscape reality has become warped, and there won’t be anything you can do to get her memories or perceptions of events to match yours.” #637: Am I being just as mean to my sister if I ignore her for a while? – Captain Awkward

Pushing Past the Terrifying Dip in Motivation – Zen Habits

“So … you want to create a beautiful home with your partner. One that reflects who the  two of you are — apart and together. One where there’s space for your individual interests and tastes and room for loving connection and harmony.” Want A Shortcut To Intimacy? How to Create a Home With Your Partner – Beautiful Living

Religion

“People who believe in Hell try to absolve their construct of God from that monstrosity by talking as if he had nothing to do with it. They talk as if the existence of such a “place” were somehow beyond his ability to control. “God doesn’t send people to Hell,” they assure themselves, “people choose to go there; they send themselves.” Uh huh. I have two main responses to that. The first is to point out that this desire to absolve God from this atrocity doesn’t come from the Bible, in case you thought it did. The second thing has to do with the impossibility of that task. I’ll start by addressing the initial desire:” Absolving God from Hell – Godless in Dixie

When Homeschool Leaders Looked Away: The Old Schoolhouse Cover-Up – Homeschoolers Anonymous

“Lawrence’s scathing reaction – angry, offended and unapologetic – is the righteous end to an evolution of celebrity nude “scandal” responses. Where once female stars were expected to hang their head in shame for having the temerity to pose nude for themselves or lovers, now they can issue a barely-shrouded “fuck you” to a public that so gleefully consumed their humiliation.” The Jennifer Lawrence naked photo response is the end of the ‘shamed starlet’ – The Guardian

When Up Is Down and Down Is Up, Submission Edition – Love, Joy, Feminism

Equality

11 Myths, Misconceptions, and Lies About Gender Non-conforming Children – Everyday Feminism

“The process sounds simple: Go to a courthouse, file a form, and get a private hearing within a day or so. If the judge—who usually holds the hearing in his or her chambers—denies the petition, a minor has a right to a speedy appeal. A pregnant teen, according to standards defined by the Supreme Court, must show either that she is mature enough to have an abortion without her parents’ involvement or that an abortion is in her best interest. “The way most laws are written, if you follow the statute, Jane Doe wins almost every time,” Hays says. But in practice, girls are at the mercy of whichever judge they happen to draw, says Anne Dellinger, a retired University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill professor who has studied the bypass system. “If a girl wanders into the wrong [court], she doesn’t have a chance,” Dellinger says. With few checks on the system, Hays adds, judges are free to impose their beliefs on the girls who appear before them: “It’s the law of bullies.”” This Is How Judges Humiliate Pregnant Teens Who Want Abortions – Mother Jones

“We’re more comfortable confronting the girl wearing the thing, and not the boys who say the things about her.  We are comfortable putting the blame for the actions of boys onto the girls around them.” The Myth of the Disrupted Classroom – Mr Rad’s Neighborhood

““Crazy” is such a convenient word for men, perpetuating our sense of superiority. Men are logical; women are emotional. Emotion is the antithesis of logic. When women are too emotional, we say they are being irrational. Crazy. Wrong.
Women hear it all the time from men. “You’re overreacting,” we tell them. “Don’t worry about it so much, you’re over-thinking it.” “Don’t be so sensitive.” “Don’t be crazy.” It’s a form of gaslighting — telling women that their feelings are just wrong, that they don’t have the right to feel the way that they do. Minimizing somebody else’s feelings is a way of controlling them. If they no longer trust their own feelings and instincts, they come to rely on someone else to tell them how they’re supposed to feel.
Small wonder that abusers love to use this c-word. It’s a way of delegitimizing a woman’s authority over her own life.” Men really need to stop calling women crazy – The Washington Post

Why I’m Sick to Death of Being a ‘Woman in Tech’ – NextShark

“In the cover story, the Hunger Games star vents her frustration not just with the offending hackers but also with those—including people she knows—who viewed the images online. “Anybody who looked at those pictures, you’re perpetuating a sexual offense. You should cower with shame. Even people who I know and love say, ‘Oh, yeah, I looked at the pictures.’ I don’t want to get mad, but at the same time I’m thinking, I didn’t tell you that you could look at my naked body.”” Jennifer Lawrence Calls Photo Hacking a “Sex Crime” – Vanity Fair

Beauty & Body Image

Loved this, but would’ve liked to see a greater diversity in the photos used: Meaghan Ramsey: Why thinking you’re ugly is bad for you – TED

How to Find the Best Clothes in Absolutely Any Thrift Store – yes and yes

“Despite common belief, outlet clothing often does not enter a “regular” store and is most likely produced in an entirely different factory than the “regular” clothing” The Myth of the “Maxxinista” – Medium

Wear It Twice – This I Wear

Inspirational

““That task is the essence of power…the essential challenge facing women today. It’s each woman becoming who she is meant to be, the ultimate authority in her life….”
I’m going to repeat that: the ultimate authority in her life.
This is when you own your life. When you know beyond a doubt that your life is yours to create however you please.
You are your own damn permission slip.” you are your own damn permission sleep – Justine Musk

5 Ways to Stop Attracting Toxic People – Jennifer Twardowski

Health

Top 10 Healing Herbs: How to Grow a Salve Garden – The Prairie Homestead

The Pro ans Cons of Coffee – The Paleo Mom

How to Deal with Health “Noise” – Mark’s Daily Apple

Topical Probiotics: can applying bacteria to your face cure acne – Paleo for Women

Celiac Disease, a Common, but Elusive Diagnosis – NY Times

How Your Period Works – Katy Says

Recipes

Pumpkin Spice Macaroons – He won’t know it’s paleo

Honey Cake Cupcakes with Caramelized Apples – Lexi’s Clean Kitchen

How to Make Hard Cider from Whole Apples, Without a Press – And Here We Are…

Garlic Rosemary Breadsticks (Autoimmune Protocol Friendly) – The Paleo Mom

Paleo Chocolate Caramels – Against All Grain

Pumpkin Spice Meringues – Elana’s Pantry

Citrus-Bison Meatballs with Crispy Sweet Potato Noodles – Autoimmune Paleo

How to Make Chocolate Extract – Mommypotamus

Autoimmune Paleo Diet Nut-Free and Dairy-Free “Cheese” – The Spunky Coconut

Frosted Carrot Cupcakes (AIP/21dsd/No Sugar Added) – Grazed and Enthused

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