Link Love (2014-11-29)
““Oh, but if you only realized that we see ourselves just as needy and flawed as you!” No, that does not make it better. The problem isn’t that I think you think you’re better than me. The problem is that you think so lowly of both of us. This really isn’t healthy. You’ve been taught to see yourself this way so thoroughly that you’ve internalized its critical voice and have made it the voice inside your own head. It’s like you met an emotional abuser who was so winsome and attractive that you brought him home to live with you so that he could be a part of your daily life. Now for you he can do no wrong. You’ve learned your lesson well. Any wrong is always your fault, never his. And don’t anyone else dare say anything bad about this inner critic, for he is your closest companion. You just don’t know what you’d be without him.
I tried to find common ground with this. I promise I did. I’m giving it my best shot. But if this is what even the progressive Christian message is going to be selling, then I’m not buying. I have come to recognize this voice of self-loathing despite its various disguises and I’ve seen it for what it is. It’s not healthy, and it’s not good. I’ll have no part in it.” We Are Not Broken – Godless in Dixie
“The view of prayer Max Lucado promotes in his quote above is toxic. I am glad I was told to take my problems to God in prayer but not to stop also trying to fix them. I’m trying to imagine what it would be like to raise a family on Max Lucado’s view. You have a dead-end job that pays too little? Don’t go out job searching! Tell Jesus your needs and leave it at that! There is no way in which this is not a bad idea.” Don’t Try to Fix It – Pray! – Love, Joy, Feminism
“GamerGate polices its own. At least until it doesn’t. And even when harassment does occur, it’s not GamerGate’s fault. No matter how many examples that are presented – from Brianna Wu’s threats to the hordes who attacked an English teacher for writing an open letter on his personal blog about not harassing women, we are told over and over again that these are just some rogue elements and that GamerGate is firmly anti-harassment in all forms. This, of course, is the classic No True Scotsman fallacy – GamerGate is anti-harassment by definition, therefore anyone who harasses other people in the name of GamerGate can’t possibly be a GamerGate-r. QED. But this is precisely where GamerGate trips itself up. You see, because there is no (official) GamerGate leadership and because it’s a decentralized, disorganized movement, all GamerGate-rs are true GamerGate-rs by definition. If there is no standard of membership or official rolls to refer to, then anyone who claims to be a member of GamerGate is a genuine member. It’s nice to be able to disclaim those “rogue elements”, those “bad apples” when it’s convenient, but when you’ve set yourself up as being without central leadership, then you’ve left yourself to the mercy of anyone who chooses to align themselves with you and take up your banner. Easier then, to claim that these incidents are self-inflicted. Yes, the go-to response by GamerGate to accusations of doxxing, hacking and death threats is to literally say “she was asking for it.”” What We Talk About When We Talk About GamerGate – Dr NerdLove
Can Feminism Save Marriage? – Cosmopolitan
“My most (and least) favorite thing about the term “political correctness” is that it’s basically meaningless.
It’s become shorthand for saying “Ideas that I happen to find ridiculous are being taken seriously by a lot of people, and it’s ruining this country,” which makes its definition entirely subjective – and therefore arbitrary. For example, a person who’s all for same-sex marriage might scoff at gender-neutral restrooms as political correctness gone too far.
Because apparently, political correctness only goes “too far” when it applies to the unfamiliar, the not-often-talked about, the marginal, the stigmatized.” 3 Common Complaints About Political Correctness (That Completely Miss the Point) – Everyday Feminism
But Why, Though? DC’s New Licensed T-Shirts Suggests Some Terrible Things About Women – The Mary Sue
“Do women in other areas of the world face greater challenges and barriers than we do here in the U.S.? Yes. But the fact that other women have it worse should not be used to downplay the very real challenges and barriers women in the U.S. continue to face today.” Women Over There Have It Worse! – Love, Joy, Feminism
I Am Not Your 101: Sharing and Privacy – Consider the Tea Cosy
“I’ve been thinking about what a gift his bossiness was ever since. How many times have I met a friend’s desperation with what I thought was a truly generous statement? If there is anything I can do, let me know. I’m here for you. It’s always well-intentioned, but it’s too easy. It doesn’t, in truth, really work. Almost no one follows up with a request. It requires energy that the truly down-and-out — whether grieving or overwhelmed or depressed — just don’t have. And yet we keep saying it to one another. It’s a gesture, not a rock. A drawing of a life preserver, not the actual thing.” Bone Tired and Ready to Be Bossed Around – On Being
“I wanted desperately to be good. I wanted to do all of the right things. I wanted to be pleasant and lovable. I wanted to have a nice life.
I wanted to shave off my sharp edges and mold myself into something relatively inoffensive.
But, inside, I am sharp and brazen. Inside, I am chandeliers of mega watt bulbs and sparkling golden intention. Inside, I am unapologetically self-assured.
Bide your time. Do it the right way. Channel your brightness into safe channels and projects that don’t call attention.
The thing is, I am breaking free despite myself. A little bit more each day.
I find myself spilling over my carefully defined edges and showing up in spite of my most carefully laid plans.
I used to believe that if I showed the world who I really was, I would be alone forever. But, now I know that if I don’t allow myself to be who I really am, I will belong to no one – not even myself. Now I know that there is no greater loneliness than not belonging to yourself.” Healing for the Inner Good Girl – Mara Glatzel
“What I’ve realised is that self-awareness and self-acceptance introduce more ease into our lives, but they don’t necessarily make our lives easier. “Easier” suggests not having negative, challenging experiences, whereas “ease” is about how we respond to these feelings. We still feel pain, frustration, hurt, anger, and an array of other uncomfortable, distinctly un-easy, feelings, but we stop fighting them and learn to listen to and accept them for what they are.” Level Up: The Difference Between a Life of Ease and an Easy Life – Becoming Who You Are
“How Do I Know When It’s Working?” A Quick Troubleshooting Guide to Paleo – The Paleo Mom
The Power of Words: How We Talk About Food – Mark’s Daily Apple
America’s #1 Addiction Might Shock You – Sara Gottfried MD
7 Benefits of Skin-to-Skin Contact After Birth – Mommypotamus
The Best (and Worst) Cookware Materials – Chris Kresser
Hashimoto’s and Your Child: How to Respond – Popular Paleo
Chinese Chicken Lettuce Cups – Popular Paleo
Chicken Taquitos by Predominantly Paleo (AIP) – Meatified
Gut Healing Blueberry Gummies – Primal Palate
French Toast with Grilled Bananas – Against All Grain
Paleo Biscuits (Nut-Free) – The Paleo Mom
Homemade Raw Apple Cider Vinegar – Neo-Homesteading
Slow-Roasted Prime Rib – Autoimmune Paleo
Paleo Ginger Bread Loaf – Primal Bites