Link Love (2014-12-06)
“Most of us come across aggressive, intimidating, or controlling personalities at some points in our lives. These individuals may exist in our personal sphere or professional environment. On the surface, they may come across as domineering, confrontational, demanding, hostile, or even abusive. However, with astute approach and intelligent communication, you may turn aggression intocooperation, and condescension into respect.” How to Successfully Handle Aggressive and Controlling People – Psychology Today
Five Therapy Tips to Help Manage Life’s Problems – Life Hacker
“We have an odd, and at times antagonistic, relationship when it comes to our sexual desires. We know that want, but we don’t want to acknowledge the fact that desire exists. To examine sexual desire is one of the greatest sins in America, especially when it goes against the dominant narrative that women don’t – or at least shouldn’t – want sex as much as men do. Teaching people how to talk about sex – navigating the worlds of consent and pleasure – makes the social conservatives get up in arms.” What Do Your Secret Sexual Desires Say About You? – Dr NerdLove
According to Scientists, Sex Was Invented in Scotland – The Mary Sue
“He used to blow up. A lot.
And so would I.
For a long time…. Years, really… I thought it was just an inexorable part of our special brand of fucked-up-ness.
That emotional hangovers would eviscerate the next day for me (unforeseeably, and regardless of what I needed to get done), always.
That I was powerless to control my reactivity.
That I was even more powerless to govern his.” Cut that shit out – Hot Love Revolution
“You want to hear an excuse I’m not going to accept anymore?
“You can’t blame them; they’ve been taught to believe these things since they were little.”
No. This is no longer acceptable to me, and I want to explain why.
They’re not young anymore. They’re not children anymore. When you are small, you believe what you are told. All sorts of bad things get passed down to children when they are small: racism, sexism, elitism, bigotry, substance abuse, you name it. When you’re little you are impressionable and that’s not your fault. Once you’re grown, however, it’s time to start taking responsibility for the things you do and the things you say. Once you’re grown, the onus is on you.
You are capable of thinking for yourself now. You can analyze the things you were told to believe and decide for yourself if the reasons you were given for believing them were legitimate. When you’re grown, simply holding to what your parents told you won’t cut it. You should know better than that by now. You’re an adult. You want to be treated like one, yes? Well, this comes with that territory. Once you’re a grown-up and you assume responsibility for your own decisions (and perhaps even for the lives of others who are dependent on you), it falls to you to make wise decisions and to think critically about the decisions you make.” Who’s to Blame When Hell Gets Taught? – Godless in Dixie
How a Logical Girl Talked Herself Into Fundamentalism, Part 1 – Cynthia Jeub
“I was raised an evangelical Christian. I went through a time of questioning while in college and I ultimately found myself an atheist. The hardest part of my deconversion was the way my parents treated me as a result. My parents could not say “We disagree with you and think you are wrong, but you are entitled to your own beliefs and we respect that.” Instead, my entire relationship with my parents imploded over their belief that their beliefs and their beliefs alone were acceptable.
In other words, it was my parents’ conviction that my beliefs should not be tolerated that destroyed our relationship, not our difference in beliefs. It was their belief that there was only one acceptable form of belief that drove us apart. It was there inability to respect our differences that left me feeling like I no longer had a mother or a father.” Why I Won’t Teach My Children that Religion Is Nonsense – Love, Joy, Feminism
“That reproach for not acknowledging his compliment underscores the real motivation: he wants her attention and acknowledgement. Her presence out in public means that her time and attention is now a public resource, available for any and all to demand at will.Those compliments – the “Hey Pretty”s, the “You’re beautiful!”, the “damn babe, you’re a piece of woman” – all come from the same place: they say “your self-esteem should be dependent on my approval.” Similarly, the demands of “Smile!” aren’t about “hey, cheer up lady”, they’re saying “Your facial expression should be pleasing to me at all times.” When she won’t give him the validation he craves by acknowledging him, she’s being “rude” – ignoring the social contract that she has unknowingly agreed to by being a woman in the first place.
And how, exactly, should she respond to these enticements? Clearly ignoring it doesn’t work – several of Roberts’ harassers follow her demanding that she talk to them. Smiling is often the default option – it’s a quick way for women to end the interaction with minimal investment of her time and attention.If she tells them to fuck off, she risks escalating the situation – possibly to dangerous levels. After all, a woman was killed recently for refusing to give a man her phone number – the threat of violence is very real for women. As Margaret Atwood famously said: “Men’s greatest fear is that women will laugh at them, while women’s greatest fear is that men will kill them.”
Sure, you may not be one of those guys… but how, exactly is she supposed to know this?” Men Behaving Badly – Street Harassment and Cat-Calling – Dr NerdLove
4 Reasons Why We Should Stop Stigmatizing Women’s Body Hair – Everyday Feminism
“At the going rate, we won’t see workplace gender justice for another 81 years. Perhaps it’s time to tip the scales” A radical fix to the world’s wage gap: why not just pay women more – and pay men less? – Guardian
What Feminism Has to Do With Acne – The Love Vitamin
“Only have sex with people who’ve given enthusiastic, willful, and uninfluenced consent. Seems straightforward, right?
But there are still plenty of people who object to this definition of consensual sex.
Why? Because they value being able to have sex more than their partner’s consent.” The Real Reason Why People Resist Affirmative Consent Laws – Everyday Feminism
“The trouble with self-help advice is that sometimes it leads us down the path of us not helping ourselves at all. Sometimes we get so caught up in someone else’s vision that we lose sight of our own.
Truth be told, what I consider to be a great life may leave you wanting for more (or perhaps less). What you consider to be extremely ethical I may consider less so. And that’s as it should be.
Our value system, beliefs, ideas, and ideals should be our own—informed by the outside, without a doubt, but we need to process and own them for ourselves.” When Self-Help Doesn’t Help: Doing What’s Best for You – Tiny Buddha
Questions to Ask Ourselves for Practising Self-Care – Weightless
Are Pesticides Safe? – Mark’s Daily Apple
The Importance of Fish in Our Diets – The Paleo Mom
“No-Poo” FAQs, Resources, and Tips – Red and Honey
Why Top Thinkers Walk Every Day – Mark’s Daily Apple
The Mercury Content of Seafood: Should You Worry? – The Paleo Mom
Insomnia: 12 Reasons Why You May Not Be Sleeping at Night – Primal Docs
Homemade “Bangers” – The Paleo Mom
Paleo Falafels with Tahini Dip – Irish Paleo Girl
19 Fat Bomb Recipes for Atkins and Ketosis – Low Carbe Diem
Paleo Mars Bars – Peachy Palate
Pumpkin Roll – Cinnamon Molasses Spread (AIP/Vegan) – Grazed and Enthused
Paleo Meatballs that will fool your Italian grandmother! (AIP-friendly) – Gutsy by Nature
Crispy Skin Salmon with Nori Vinaigrette – Mark’s Daily Apple
Chocolate Chip Cookies – Popular Paleo