Link Love (2014-12-13)
“Public Service Announcement:
If your friend abuses someone, and you know it, proclaiming to the victim that you ‘don’t want to choose a side’ IS choosing sides. You are choosing the abuser’s side.” #643: The stinking pile of wordpoop that is: “I’m not going to choose a side” – Captain Awkward
5 Lessons from a Breakdown: How to Make Hard Times Easier – Tiny Buddha
“When it was over, I wasn’t permitted to mourn him. No one could understand how love, hate, fear and comfort could coexist simultaneously. They could not understand that in addition to my abuser, I also lost my confidant, the person to make dinner with, the person to watch movies with on a rainy Sunday, the person to laugh with, the person who knew me. I lost my companion. How can you explain to someone that the abuse was only a part of who he was? How do you explain that to yourself?
There are still days when I remember tender moments and wonder if it really was that bad. I still struggle with reconciling how he could love me to the point of tears and yet hurt me as if I was an enemy. Like a child, I’m learning to redefine the borders of normal behavior and to realign my expectations. I remind myself that acts of violence can never be acts of love.” He Never Hit Me – Huffington Post
Derby: Violence and Aggression – Consider the Tea Cosy
“Notice how that might be true in your life. If you are married longer than a few years, certainly you will confront this feeling inside of you. That the person you love the most, will become the person you hate the most in an instant. And, again, it’s normal and just right. Long-term relationship is designed this way to help you overcome the internal hatred (projected outward) and embrace more of yourself. It’s beautiful and wise.
This is the intelligence and precision of the human heart. Showing me where I’m still partial, where I have yet to embrace, where I’m still hurt, where there’s pain that needs love. Our fights invite me to embrace another piece of shrapnel from my past, rusty and neglected from an old hurt, ready to be noticed, healed, and integrated.” Is It Possible to Feel Open and Closed in the Same Moment? – Jayson Gaddis
A Quick Guide to Gaining Confidence When You Socialize – zen habits
“I defy you to supply an example—any example—of a life circumstance which would constitute God forsaking you. If you cannot even supply one, you’ve just illustrated my point. The very idea is constructed in such a way that a counterexample isn’t even possible. No matter what you come up with, someone will say that God might want that to happen because his ways are higher than our ways, amirite? That phrase is like magic. It justifies and dismisses absolutely any and all challenges to faith. It’s one of the classic moves in the games I was taught to play as a Christian.” Games Christians Play: Making Your Faith Impossible to Disprove – Godless in Dixie
American Bible-Thumper Travels to Scandinavia, Freaks Out After Discovering How Secular They Are (Video) – Addicting Info
“We usually speak of grief after the death of a loved one but for many in the ex-Christian and ex-believer communities the loss of their faith is very similar to the death of a loved one. How death-like this process will be depends on how sincere and life-consuming your faith has been. But even the nominal believer will experience some of the symptoms of loss when recognizing that he or she no longer holds the same beliefs that once rang true. In other words, the devotion you have to your god or faith will be directly proportional to the pain you will feel as that faith dies.” Grieving the Loss of Your Faith – Godless in Dixie
4 Ways to Stop the Silence and Stigma Around Miscarriages – Everyday Feminism
“I found this very on point. As Rachel Held Evans notes, is often an assumption that women are “biased” when it comes to gender issues, or that people of color are “biased” when it comes to race issues. It is men, and white people, who are (supposedly) able to maintain calm, rational distance—and who are therefore unbiased. Except of course that this is not true.
Male people have male experiences, and white people have white experiences. These experiences are often treated as a sort of default, but they do not make the people living them unbiased or neutral on issues of gender or race—and they are not unemotional or uninvested either.” On Race, Gender, and Being “Unbiased” – Love, Joy, Feminism
11 Ridiculous Questions We Need to Stop Asking Homeless People – Everyday Feminism
“Women aren’t a feminist monolith. Everything that a woman does is not by definition feminist. We don’t live in a world of sexist men and feminist women fighting each other in some kind of epic boss battle, where everyone knows precisely what side they’re on and nobody gets confused over what precisely the other meant by privilege anyway. It turns out that sexism isn’t simply a thing that men do to women. Sexism is a thing that we as a society do to all of us that unfairly privileges men (and masculinity, which is separate but conflated and yes the patriarchy does harm non gender conforming men too, holy shit it does) over women (and femininity).
If sexism and patriarchy are things that society- that is, you and me and everyone you’ve ever met- does to itself, then women and non binary gender people are as capable of sexist actions as men are. If our culture is largely created and recreated through our actions, which are themselves often the result of biases that we mightn’t even be aware of, then we can perform sexist actswithout even knowing that is what we’re doing. And if the very idea of what is sexist can be contested- which it often can be, because culture is hella complex and we’ve got more shades of grey here than you can imagine- then I can think that something is sexist and you can think it’s empowering and we can both be wrong and we can also both be right. Particularly when we’re talking about representation and symbols and meaning and the giant can of thoroughly tangled worms that opens.” A Woman Gave Him the Shirt: T-Shirt Guy and the Monoliths of the Marginalised – Consider the Tea Cosy
“What if we accepted the fact that we are not meant to be happy all the time? Or even that, sometimes, happiness must emerge from periods of unhappiness?
What if we recognized the dark times as a process of initiation into a deeper wisdom, that can serve to heal others as well as ourselves?” sometimes happiness can only emerge from periods of unhappiness – Justine Musk
7 Tips for Preventing (and Shortening) Colds and Flus – Chris Kresser
Grass-Fed Beef: A Superfood worth the Premium Price – The Paleo Mom
Low on Progesterone? Why Stress Reduction Might Be the Only Way to Hack It – Paleo for Women
Why Functional Medicine Is the Future of Health – Primal Docs
The Health Benefits of Bone Broth – The Paleo Mom
Flu vaccination is largely ineffective, despite what your Government may have you believe – Dr Briffa’s Blog
Spatchcock Provencal Chicken (Autoimmune Protocal Friendly) – The Paleo Mom
Gluten-Free Gingersnap Cookies – Aagainst All Grain
Gluten-Free, Vegan, and Paleo Carob Pumpkin Tart (AIP-friendly, Refined sugar-free) – Gluten-Free Vegan Love
No Bake Pumpkin ‘Cheesecake’ Treats – Adventures in Partaking
Pumpkin Pie Muffins – Elana’s Pantry
Crispy Sweet Potato Oven Fries – Gutsy by Nature