Link Love (2014-12-20)

Thought-provoking

Michael Green: What the Social Progress Index can reveal about your country – TED

“Let’s be blunt. In Bali, I contributed financially and symbolically to structures of oppression which I purport to resist at home. Of course I cannot help but contribute at home too – and it takes and will continue to take a lot of thinking and communal effort to minimize inequality even in my own neighborhood – but the novel situation of Bali and it’s tourist imaginary as an invented holiday snack for the peace-utopia-spirit-community-culture starved of Euro-Austro-America has thrown my privilege into stark disparity. Realizing this, and continuing to participate, could only serve to make me more of an asshole. Which is why I made the informed decision to leave Bali two weeks before our original departure date.” Cultural tourism and it’s discontents: A personal essay on the ethics of travel – Feministing

Ethan Nadelmann: Why we need to end the War on Drugs – TED

Deliberate practice is when you work on a skill that requires 1 to 3 practice sessions to master. If it takes longer than that, then you are working on something that is too complex
Once you master this tiny behavior, you can move on to practicing the next small task that will take 1 to 3 sessions to master. Repeat this process for 10,000 hours. That is deliberate practice.” How Experts Practice Better Than the Rest – James Clear

The Quickstart Guide to Quitting a Bad Habit – Zen Habits

“People who really suffer from NPD aren’t just people who make themselves the hero of every story. They have destructive relationships, rarely admit they’re wrong, or rationalize away evidence or experiences contradictory to their worldview—even if that evidence is right in front of their faces. Ideally, if the warning signs of a real problem are there, leave it to a professional. If not, you can probably appeal to their empathy and point out their behavior is a bit selfish.” Why We’re So Full of Ourselves: In Defense of Narcissistic Qualities – LifeHacker

Religion

“Well, they needn’t worry.  I am no more interested in them forsaking their belief in Jesus than I am in their decision to pursue one career or another just because it is what I would want for them.  I want them to decide for themselves what they believe, and frankly I’m not convinced that will be set in stone while they’re still children.  I was taught as a child to believe many things which I left behind in my mid-thirties.  Why should I expect them to be any different?  And what really matters most to me?  What do I feel the strongest about passing along to them as they grow up into the women they will become?  I’ve written about that before in my Letters to My Daughters, particularly in the one entitled “The Silver Lining in Your Situation.”  The short version is that I care much less about what they believe and much more aboutthe kind of women they become.  Are those two things connected?  Sure they are, but the former doesn’t determine the latter nearly as much as some would have you believe.  Your beliefs don’t completely determine your values or your character.  They interact, to be sure, but the former don’t dictate the latter.” Am I Raising My Kids to Be Atheists? – Godless in Dixie

So Much for Never Getting More Than You Can Handle – Ex-Communications

“The truth was I realized how alone I was at that moment, driving to meet my son at the hospital. How alone my kid was on the helicopter, strapped to a board, scared.
But my faith was not with god, a god who allows children to suffer from disease and abuse and malnutrition. My faith was with the people who were taking care of my son—with the staff on the helicopter, with the doctors and nurses who checked him out, with the surgeon who would open him up and with the anesthesiologist who would put him to sleep—and wake him.
When we have a moment of crisis in our lives—or a tragedy—what we need most are the people around us. We need their support, their kindness and their expertise. Prayers to an invisible and impotent mythical man are ineffectual.” Foxholes – Kids Without Religion

Equality

“By some estimates[5], one in five pregnancies ended in abortion in the 1800s. It was perhaps the most common form of birth control, and while dangerous, many women survived it. Childbirth was dangerous, too, and maternal mortality rates were high. But it was scandal and death by abortion, often carried out by unskilled practitioners, that brought sensational headlines and led to changes in the laws. In 1854, the papers were riveted by the story of 22-year-old Cordelia Grant, who’d accused her guardian, George Shackford, of impregnating her five times, each time insisting she have abortions. He promised to marry her, then abandoned her. In 1871, Alice Bowlsby, an unmarried woman, was found dead of an abortion, stuffed in a trunk in a railway station. The abortionist was arrested, and Bowlsby’s lover killed himself, unwilling to endure the shame a trial would bring.
Still, for the most part, it was not single women who were having abortions, but married mothers wishing to limit the size of their families. “I am 30 years old and have 11 children… kidney and heart disease, wrote one mother to Margaret Sanger, who founded Planned Parenthood in 1921.[4] “Can you please help me. I have miss a few weeks and don’t know how to bring myself around. I have cryed my self sick… The doctor won’t do anything for me… Doctors are men and have not had a baby so they have no pitty…”(sic)” What to Expect (If You Were Expecting Unexpectedly in the 19th Century) – Elle

Abortion Clinic Protesters: “Sidewalk Counsellors” or “Sidewalk Terrorists” – Cosmopolitan.com

“To me, this all seemed pretty open and shut. I’ve been following the problems faced by women entering STEM field careers for a long time. (I’ve also followed the entire GamerGate phenomenon, which is in some way related.) The bottom line is that men have staked out this territory as theirs for decades, and the culture they’ve created in these spaces is too often unfriendly to women, whether intentionally or not. This unfriendliness often comes in the form of the sexual objectification of women—treating women as sex objects or sex dispensers rather than relating to them as people. Shirts like the Taylor’s contribute to that environment.
Taylor later apologized for wearing the shirt during the interview, stating that “I made a big mistake and I offended many people, and I’m very sorry about this.” Now here’s the thing: I don’t think Matt Taylor is a horrible person. His choice to wear that shirt for that interview almost certainly involved no malice toward women—but it didn’t have to. This is an example of what is often called “casual sexism,” and it doesn’t have to involve any sort of malicious intent or ill will.
Most of the response to Taylor’s shirt that I saw had more to do with using the occasion as a moment to educate than it did with vilifying Taylor. When women in STEM fields—or women in gaming—say that there is a problem, they are frequently not believed. This moment placed the casual (and sometimes not so casual) sexism these women experience every day out in the open where everyone could see it. This provided an opening to talk, once again, about the problem.” On #Shirtstorm and Completely Missing the Point – Love, Joy, Feminism

Barbie FAIL: Does the Toy Industry Hate Women? – Wild Beauty

Relationships

Easier to let them win than to keep fighting? How to stand firm in your truth. – Beautiful Living

4. Do I feel like the best version of myself — or, like I am becoming the best version of myself — when I am with this person?” GOOD QUESTION: How can I tell if I am just “settling” in a relationship – Alexandra Franzen

16 Reasons to Have Daily Sex – The Mind Unleashed

“The truth is, I had no idea who I was — or, more specifically, I was terrified of being myself. I was afraid to really allow my true self to be seen, because I thought that by being myself, I would be criticized and rejected.
I thought that if I made myself like them, then they couldn’t possibly reject me and end the relationship. I mean, why would anyone want to break up with someone who makes them the center of their universe? Why would a group of friends reject and criticize someone who is always putting everyone else’s needs first?
Needless to say, this method didn’t work too well. I found myself heartbroken and disappointed over and over again. I felt drained, unfulfilled and as if I was giving too much.” The Secret to Being Happy in Any Relationship – Huffington Post

6 psychological hangups preventing you from having good sex – Paleo for Women

Inspirational

“Self care isn’t the province of the few and favored, those untested by the daily grind. In fact, the more demanding our work, the more challenging our personal circumstances the more we need to practice self care.
Our body, mind and soul all need replenishing on a regular basis. My hope for you as the holiday season ramps up is that you give yourself this gift first: become skilled at the practice of self care.” Selfie – Christopher in HR

10 Ways You’re Making Your Life Harder Than It Has To Be – Thought Catalog

“So how do you put a mindfulness program in place? Well, if waking up 20 minutes early for seated meditation or dragging yourself to yoga class has been a challenge, join the crowd. Here’s the great thing about mindfulness. You don’t need a formal program to put it into action. There are ways to find peace and calm by training our minds to hold our attention during routine daily activities, and shifting our dial from the Go-Go-Go setting to Relax, Calm, and Aware.” From Stress to Stillness: 3 Ways to Bring Peace and Calm Into Daily Life – Sara Gottfried MD

Teach people how to treat you. How to write clear, loving policies for your business & life – Alexandra Franzen

“You deserve to be surrounded by people that support you, and inspire you and help you become your most beautiful, thriving self.
And B.S. just ain’t a conduit to that.
Don’t give it out. Don’t receive it back.
Your glorious, joyful, positive life is waiting for you.” “How to Install a No B.S. Clause In Your Life!” – Leonie Dawson

Why Ripping My Wedding Dress Was Absolutely Perfect – Beautiful Living

Health

Guest Post by Kathy Andrew – Ten Simple Steps: Fitting Paleo Into Your Busy Life – The Paleo Mom

Ramanan Laxminarayan: The coming crisis in antibiotics – TED

The Real Reason Wheat is Toxic (it’s not the gluten) – The Healthy Home Economist

Guest Post by Angea Alt: Business Travel on the Autoimmune Protocol – The Paleo Mom

Just Walk It Off: How Walking Can Improve Your Emotional Well-Being – Mark’s Daily Apple

Is Chocolate Good For You? The Health Benefits of Chocolate – Bulletproof Executive

Recipes

Pumpkin Spice Muffins – Elana’s Pantry

Macronutrient Cupcakes (AIP & Wahl’s Paleo+) – Petra8Paleo

Shepherd’s Pie (AIP friendly) – Beyond the Bite

Paleo-friendly Hot Buttered Rum or Coffee – The Curious Coconut

Gluten Free Gravy – Holistic Squid

Spiced Pumpkin Pie (AIP friendly) – Beyond the Bite

Pumpkin Ginger Soup – Elana’s Pantry

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