Link Love (2015-02-14)
Jeremy Howard: The wonderful and terrifying implications of computers that can learn – TED
“It turns out there is a fine line between wanting your partner to understand you and wanting your partner to validate your feelings. For years, I wanted others to confirm that my feelings were okay to have.
And ultimately, the belief that feelings need to be validated to be valid was the cause of my codependency.
Here’s what it comes down to: If you don’t believe your feelings are genuine, real, and legitimate, nothing your partner says will make a difference. Whether or not your partner gets you is secondary to honoring your own feelings.” You Don’t Need Other People to Validate Your Feelings – Tiny Buddha
How to Craft an Information Diet that Actually Works – Life Hacker
“When you speak the truth, you won’t be cluttering up your mind and short-circuiting your energy by plugging it up with a lie.
So, don’t lie. Just tell the truth. Accept the consequences, if and when they arise.
You deserve to be spoken to with honesty and respect, and others do, too.” Why “harmless” white lies… aren’t. (And how to start telling the truth.) – Dr Suzanne Gelb
Stop Being Socially Awkward, Pt 2 – Dr NerdLove
“Nonviolence means allowing the positive within you to emerge.
Be dominated by love, respect, understanding, appreciation, compassion, and concern for others rather than the self-centered and selfish, greedy, hateful, prejudiced, suspicious, and aggressive attitudes that dominate our thinking.
We often hear people say: This world is ruthless, and if you want to survive you must become ruthless too. I humbly disagree with this contention.” The Art of Compassionate Conversation: How to Impart Love and Acceptance in Every Conversation – Kevan Writes
“I think this story beautifully illustrates the story of the human race, which created a hero to save itself from the many dangers, toils, and snares of life only to one day realize that it must become the hero of its own story. Just as Alex Rover was a rugged and self-sufficient projection of all the weaknesses and shortcomings of a frail and multiphobic writer, so I think our gods have always been projections of ourselves, or rather of what we wish we could be. Because we feel weak, they are strong. Because we feel powerless over nature, they control it. Because we make mistakes, they never do. And because we don’t understand how things have come to be, they are responsible for making everything we see, including even ourselves. They are the projected embodiment of everything we are not, and just like Alexandra, we come to depend on them despite the fact that we create our creators in our own inventive brains. Sometimes they personify our own traits and share our own moral shortcomings. But sometimes they transcend those things as well, showing us the way forward out of our own faults like beacons of moral perfection.” Nim’s Island and the Reason for God – Godless in Dixie
Meek and Mild No More: Learning from the Lamp Who Lights My Heart – Ex-Communications
“When I talk about the patriarchy? This is what I’m talking about. Men like Baucham believe their adult daughters are bound to obey them in word and deed, and that they possess their daughters’ virginity to hand off to another when they choose. I’m lucky that my father was fairly introverted and hands off, but I still had a hell of a time with it when my courtship when rogue (or, to put it more specifically, when I took the reigns to my own love life).
And while Baucham is against stoning unmarried daughters who are sexually active, one wonders what he thinks should be done with them. It can’t be pretty.” Voddie Baucham, Daughters and “Virgin Brides” – Love, Joy, Feminism
What does it mean to be an Arab atheist? – New Humanist
“OK, I’m going to say this with all sincerity to Aaronson and other nerds and Nice Guys: I’m sorry you were bullied. I’m sorry you may find relationships scary and confusing. I’m sorry you may not have the instinctual social ease that others may have. I’ve been there, I have done that and I’ve got the emotional scars to prove it. I understand that trying to figure out how to get better at dating can be confounding, frustrating and intimidating – that’s the whole reason why I created this site.
So with that being said: build a bridge and get the fuck over it.
Being bullied doesn’t make you right, or better or morally superior. Being a nerd doesn’t mean that you’re holy. Just because you’re a geek doesn’t mean that you aren’t also an asshole. Being socially awkward isn’t an excuse and trying to play the Oppression Olympics doesn’t make it any better. No, life isn’t fair, it never has been fair and the sooner you stop expecting that fairness to apply to you, the sooner you’ll be able to improve.
Yes, we live in a society that tells men and women conflicting rules about sex and sexuality and that can be confusing. Yes, the rules about boundaries and consent are changing and we’re all trying to shake off generations of toxic lessons about gender and sexuality and it can be weird, confusing and intimidating. But blaming feminists for scaring you, bullies for bullying you or neanderthals for taking what you “deserve” isn’t progress, it’s whining. Stop blaming others for what, at the end of the day, are your choices. You and you alone are responsible for your life and to make it better.” What’s Really Wrong With Nice Guys – Entitlement, Nerds and Neanderthals – Dr NerdLove
Still Think Rape Jokes Are Harmless Fun? – Everyday Feminism
“The push for eventual parity, however, often means that the first women in traditionally male spaces – be it politics, gaming or even firefighting – are saddled with the responsibility of taking abuse until a critical mass is reached and (hopefully) the culture shifts, and of making that space more woman-friendly.
But why must women sign up to be professional vanguards in order to get the job they want? As California’s Senator Barbara Boxer told Liza Mundy in a Politico piece about the sexism women in Congress face, “I never wanted to be a disruptor; I wanted to be a legislator.”” Women can’t end sexism in the workplace just by showing up – Jessica Valenti – The Guardian
Accepting, Feeling, and Releasing Painful Emotions – Tiny Buddha
“So I began to wonder, if I do more respectful things, perform more generous actions and, well, dress a little better, will I actually have a little more self respect? In other words, because I’m in a relationship with myself, maybe I should act in such a way that my “self” could respect my “self” a little more.” You Are in a Relationship with Yourself; Make It a Healthy One – Storyline
strength + vulnerability – Kimchi Cuddles
Do Probiotics Help Anxiety? – Psychology Today
Still Think Low-Fat Dairy is the “Healthy Choice”? Think Again! – Chris Kresser
Seasonal Affective Disorder and Self-Care: 6 Tips – The Honeyed Quill
What’s Behind the Mind-Body Connection? – Mark’s Daily Apple
Is Fruit Healthy for You? – Nerd Fitness
How to Make Your Sushi Bulletproof – Bulletproof
How To Deal With a Crick in the Neck – Business Insider
How to Avoid the Health Risks of Computers – Wellness Mama
9 Signs You Have Magnesium Deficiency and How to Cure It – Just Naturally Healthy
Is Sitting the New Smoking? – Alignment Monkey
Eggnog Recipe – The Prairie Homestead
Paleo Double Chocolate Maple Bacon Cookies – Beyond the Bite
Cinnamon Bun Muffins (using Coconut Flour) – Comfy Belly
Golden Milk Latte – Popular Paleo
Thai Chicken Pizza – Against All Grain
Grain free pumpkin spice muffins with maplebutter frosting – Real Food Liz
Apricot N’Oatmeal Cookies (AIP, GAPS, SCD, Paleo) – Healing Family Eats
Paleo Apple Fritters Recipe – Elana’s Pantry
Holiday Coconut Mashed Sweet Potatoes – This West Coast Mommy
Grain Free / Nut Free Granola (AIP, Paleo, SCD, GAPS) – Real Food Forager