Link Love (2015-03-21)


“Of course it feels horrible and makes you defensive to open up about something that you probably have your own lifetime of culturally-received stigmas and fears about, and the other person derails the whole thing and erases you and your experience in favor of their perception of you or their need to be an expert. A conversation that starts as “Hey friend, here’s what’s going on with me, I’d like you to know and possibly give me support and encouragement while I deal with this new and confusing thing” turns into an argument where you feel like you’re on trial for your very existence. Not only are your friends not supporting you in dealing with a hard thing, they are making medical facts that affect your daily existence debatable and forcing you to “prove” that this is happening at all. And if you, heaven forbid, “become emotional,” or have less than a perfect grasp of every single part of the science at your fingertips to be presented on demand, in their mind you both a) lose the argument b) start to display some of the negative qualities they associate with your diagnosis. It’s a fucking perfect and insidious double-bind, where, which is it, am I not really (diagnosis), or not logical enough for you because of my (non-existent) diagnosis?” #662 and #663: “My Friend the Skeptic.” – Captain Awkward

11 Tough Love Lessons I Learned From My Ex-Boyfriends – Jennifer Twardowski

“What we don’t talk about when it comes to manliness is simply “learn how to handle your shit”. The problem that many men face is that we’re bad at taking care of ourselves. It’s very rare that men are allowed to give their emotional health priority in their lives. More often than not, we rely on others – primarily women – to attend to our emotional needs. It’s hard enough to even admit we have emotional needs, never mind act on them. We aren’t supposed to complain or acknowledge when shit is going badly for us except via quiet stoic resolve. Admitting to having a problem is tantamount to admitting weakness and invites the traditional game of “You think you have it bad? Stop whining!”
No matter who you are or where you are in your life, sometimes the world goes out of its way to stomp on your metaphorical nuts with giant shitty boots. Maybe you’ve just gotten dumped. Maybe you’ve lost your job. Or perhaps you’ve been slamming your head against the unyielding wall that is your lousy dating life for too long and you can’t take any more. Or sometimes life just fucking sucks and nothing seems like it would go right if you held a gun to its head. But the key to getting through these tough moments isn’t to keep telling yourself “stone don’t cry”. It’s not to keep telling yourself that this isn’t so bad and you’re just a pussy for not being able to take more. It’s to learn how to take care of yourself.” 5 Must-Follow Man Rules – Dr NerdLove

An Addict’s Guide to Overcoming the Distraction Habit – Zen Habits

It took me by surprise when I realized that no matter what my practice has actually looked like over the years, whether I’d been totally diligent or utterly neglectful, there had been one constant the entire time: I’ve always felt like I needed to be the best at meditation.
Yep, that’s the phrase that actually popped into my mind, word for word, when I tried to unpack what was going on: the best at meditation.
I know what you’re thinking: What does that even mean? How can you be “the best” at something like meditation?” The Power of Starting Small and Not Needing to be Perfect – Tiny Buddha

How to Make Friends as a Grown-Up – Nerd Fitness


“The fight-pickers are not genuinely trying to understand why my morals remain intact without belief in supernatural beings, an afterlife, or Heaven and Hell. They are asking a question that’s not really a question. They are making an assertion that people cannot have morals without believing in a deity of some kind (preferably their own). The facts don’t support this prejudice, but I’ll get to that in a second. First I must point out how insulting this non-question really is to a person like me. When you do this, you are accusing me of being an immoral person. Perhaps you have never stopped to consider that this is what you are doing. Privilege blindness can be a nasty thing, and it’s far too easy to think less of people who don’t deserve it simply because they see things differently from you. If you have observed my behavior and have seen worse behavior from me than you see from people with your own belief system, then please point that out to me. If not, then perhaps you should rethink your assumptions about what makes people “moral.”” How Can Atheists Have Morals? (part one) – Godless in Dixie

1. this is my story
2. this isn’t the story of all Muslims
3. this isn’t the story of all hijabis
4. there can be more than one story
Once upon a time (about 14 years ago), in a land far away (South East England), I wore the hijab. It’s surreal looking back. I’ve spent a long time actively detaching myself from that part of my identity, so I feel almost fraudulent claiming it as my own. Even now, after 14 years of fixing myself up and reclaiming all the bits of me, I struggle to talk face to face with people about the hijab. My experience was bad, and the word and the memories still stick in my throat. This post is about how more than 5 years of forced veiling affected me, and why the recent furore over page 3 reminded me of my stint as a hijabi.” The hijab (and page 3) – Reimagining My Reality


“Using “female” in this way is contrary to how we generally communicate. As noted above, “female” as a noun erases the subject—making “female” the subject of the sentence. In the most technical sense, it’s correct, but by employing this word that is usually an adjective as a noun, you’re reducing her whole personhood to the confines of that adjective. It’s calling someone “a white” instead of a white person, “a black” instead of a black person, and so on.
“When you refer to a woman as a female, you’re ignoring the fact that she is a female human,” write Nigatu and Clayton, pointing out the connotation that follows: “It reduces a woman to her reproductive parts and abilities.” The focus shifts away from the personal and onto onto her qualities as an object—qualities that have, historically, not been used in the best interest of women.” The Problem With Calling Women ‘Females’ – Jezebel

Moms Launch Stereotype-Bashing Clothing Line That Challenges What It Means to Be ‘Girly’ – Huffington Post

“Jessica Valenti is one of the most successful and visible feminists of her generation. As a columnist for the Guardian, her face regularly appears on the site’s front page. She has written five books, one of which was adapted into a documentary, since founding the blog She gives speeches all over the country. And she tells me that, because of the nonstop harassment that feminist writers face online, if she could start over, she might prefer to be completely anonymous. “I don’t know that I would do it under my real name,” she says she tells young women who are interested in writing about feminism. It’s “not just the physical safety concerns but the emotional ramifications” of constant, round-the-clock abuse.” Feminist writers are so besieged by online abuse that some have begun to retire – The Washington Post

I Pretended to Be a Male Gamer to Avoid Harassment – Everyday Feminism

“The group we refer to as “women,” Arquette seemed to fail to notice, includes gay people and people of color, who tend to be worse off economically than white women. Women as a whole make 78 cents to a man’s dollar. But when you break it down by race, a Latina woman makes just 54 cents to every dollar a white man makes. A black woman makes 59 cents. And despite Arquette’s phrasing, women (and many men) of color have been on the front lines of feminist, womanist, and other movements for women’s rights for centuries. The people Arquette asks “to fight for us now” are already here, fighting for themselves — and all women.” Patricia Arquette Gives Rousing Speech for Gender Equality, Quickly Goes Off the Rails – Cosmopolitan

InHerSight Allows Women to Anonymously Rate Past and Present Employers – Huffington Post

Beauty & Body Image

“I had reached the point where I had simply had enough of working in an industry that pretends to support women while it bombards them with impossible images of perfection day after day, undermining their self-confidence, their health and hard-earned cash.
My decision to quit was partly precipitated by the failure of a campaign I started a year ago to encourage magazines, designers and advertisers to use models with more realistic, representative body images. Then I could not have anticipated the extraordinarily hostile reaction to my fairly innocuous suggestions from fellow editors and designers. A year later I have come to realise the sheer terrorism of the fashion industry and accept that, alone, I cannot change things.
But in spring last year I was full of optimism that we could change. I believed wholeheartedly that we could stop magazines and advertisers using underweight girls as fashion icons. I had already banned diets and slimming advice from our pages but after meeting Gisele, the Brazilian supermodel credited with bringing ‘curves to the catwalk’, and discovering that she is a tiny size 8, I decided to challenge the status quo.” What I think about the fashion world – Daily Mail

“Like our thighs, hips, and stomachs, skin conditions are stigmatized by a culture that demands perfection. The bumps and redness caused by skin conditions like acne, psoriasis, and eczema become imperfections, and are therefore deemed “undesirable.” People who have these conditions often seen as ugly are made to feel ashamed of what occurs naturally to tens of thousands of Americans a year.” Authentically loving my skin… marks and all – Adios Barbie


The Reintroduction Quick-Start Guide: A New FREE Download – The Paleo Mom

The AIP Marathon – Autoimmune Paleo

3 Tips for Creating a Supportive Community (While On the Autoimmune Protocol) – Sweet Potatoes and Social Change

Why You Should Have a Morning Routine – Mark Sisson

Feds May Finally Ditch the Cholesterol Warning –

How to Chop Fresh Herbs – Epicurious

How to Do a Real Detox – Paleo for Women

Heal Low Stomach Acid Naturally – Empowered Sustenance

Behind the Veil: Conflicts of Interest and Fraud in Medical Research – Chris Kresser

Biohacking Tip #2: Scientific Method – Petra8Paleo


Taro and Bacon Hash – Chris Kresser

Grain Free Chocolate Cupcakes – Against All Grain

Gluten Free Chocolate Cream Pie Recipe – The Prairie Homestead

Sticky Balsamic Rosemary Chicken – Neo-Homesteading

One Pot AIP Paleo Cranberry Apple Chicken with Cabbage – Paleo Cajun Lady

Fermented: Sweet & Sour Cinnamon Apples – Bare Root

Herbal Chai (tailor your tea for AIP) – Enjoying This Journey

Cinnamon Honey Butter (AIP/Vegan) – Grazed and Enthused

Instand Pot Beef Bourguignon (AIP) – The Bacon Mum

AIP Salted Caramel Hot “Chocolate” – Sweet Potatoes and Social Change

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