Link Love (2015-04-04)

Thought-provoking

“If you disengage, and engage only on your own terms, the pattern might not change. It won’t necessarily heal your family or “help” your brother, and it won’t make everything whole again. At best it will give you some breathing room. You don’t deserve to be verbally attacked by someone with the passive participation and consent of your other family members. You don’t have to be the sacrificial lamb who makes them all feel benevolent and okay about themselves. If you put a little distance in your sibling relationship in order to take care of yourself and to build a more pleasurable and supportive family structure for yourself, it is not a failure of your empathy.” #637: My insufferable brother is ruining all the time I spend with my family – Captain Awkward

Nadine Burke Harris: How childhood trauma affects health across a lifetime – TED

“Because when we give too many fucks, when we choose to give a fuck about everything, then we feel as though we are perpetually entitled to feel comfortable and happy at all times, that’s when life fucks us.” The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck – Mark Manson

If Humans used Animal Mating Rituals – 9GAG

““I don’t have one. They’re kind of expensive to use,” John Sylvan told me frankly, of Keurig K-Cups, the single-serve brewing pods that have fundamentally changed the coffee experience in recent years. “Plus it’s not like drip coffee is tough to make.” Which would seem like a pretty banal sentiment, were Sylvan not the inventor of the K-Cup.” How Bad Are K-Cups for the Environment? – The Atlantic

Religion

“Every miracle granted means a million miracles denied to others in need. Every single kid with leukemia who miraculously goes into remission means another thousand thousand kids die miserably. One person might crawl from a fiery plane wreck or a collapsed building that slays hundreds; a few might survive a pandemic that lays millions low. Another’s child might suddenly have a life-threatening lung illness reverse course. One person might successfully escape a spree killer or terrorist attack. And every one of these miracles entails, by necessity, the Christian god ignoring or declining all the other requests for his aid.
A Christian who claims that these survivors actually were divinely aided in escape is telling me that the Christian god left all the rest of those victims to it. Sparing one while allowing the rest to perish is not a miracle. It’s a mockery of care and love. Could you look into the eyes of those who did not get miracles and still puff yourself up as the recipient of one, even gloat about it, even use it to try to strong-arm non-believers? Could you be okay with knowing that you survived when they did not? Could you scoop up that money and not wonder if someone else who maybe needed it lost it? I’d like to think I would not accept a miracle under such ghastly terms. But that’s what I wonder, when Christians tell me about miracles: Who isn’t going home with a spouse or parent tonight because you squeaked through that near-miss? Whose kid is dying tonight because your kid got a little divine help for their common disease? I know that those hearing about miracles are not supposed to care or ask about those many faceless millions of others who didn’t get aid; I know that Christians are supposed to just be thankful even one person got help. But I do care about those others. I do ask. I have too much compassion to ignore them. (Are we made in this god’s image–except for compassion?)” The Wearisome Immorality of Miracles – Ex-Communications

Bob Jones University Rejects Key Recommendations of the GRACE Report – Love, Joy, Feminism

“1.  Your worldview is egocentric and puts you at the center of all things.  This is highly ironic because the opposite is really the case.  I see myself as one organism among gazillions on my planet alone, and my planet is only one among, what, trillions?  Far from being the center of the universe, most non-theists like myself face a greater challenge in dealing with our own relative insignificance in the vast scheme of things.  Contrast this with the narrative that says one single personality created everything that exists, and he happens to care immensely about the littlest detail of your day. He hears everything you say (and think!) and he orchestrates every event in your life to make things go exactly as they should.  I don’t know that you could get any more egocentric than that right there.” Ten Things Christians Accidentally Tell Me About Themselves – Godless in Dixie

Equality

“In an interview from jail, Mukesh Singh said that women who went out at night had only themselves to blame if they attracted the attention of gangs of male molesters. “A girl is far more responsible for rape than a boy,” he said.” Delhi bus rapist blames his victim in prison interview – Telegraph

Illegal abortions are unsafe for women. Refusing to talk about abortion is, too. – The Guardian

“Quantopian, a Boston-based trading platform based on crowdsourced algorithms, pitted the performance of Fortune 1000 companies that had women CEOs between 2002 and 2014 against the S&P 500’s performance during that same period. The comparison showed that the 80 women CEOs during those 12 years produced equity returns 226% better than the S&P 500” Women-led companies perform three times better than the S&P 500 – Fortune

“Still, for as much uncertainty as Lil’ Peanut represents, his name was never a question. My partner and I decided on potential baby names a couple of years ago during one of our talks about our hypothetical family. And although the combination of our son’s first and middle names is a slight variation of that choice, his last name was always going to be a hyphenation of our identities.
But people seem to have a problem with that.
There is no doubt that we live in a world where the expectation is all children will bear the patriarch’s surname. It’s a long-standing tradition, albeit archaic, that my partner and I both adhere to involuntarily. And if you skew that tradition, people will often regard you disapprovingly. They will lecture you about how you are destroying the very fabric of lineage.” Why Does It Bother You That I’m Hyphenating My Son’s Last Name? – Role / Reboot

Beauty & Body Image

“How did she do it? For Eileen, the key was self-compassion. She allows herself to experience each moment but doesn’t judge the emotions that come up when she thinks about her body image. She says it was a tall order when she first started out. After all, it is much easier to have compassion for others than for our selves. However, with time and practice, Eileen has found that compassion for herself has been a very effective healer and helped silence her harsh voice of criticism.” Novel Ways to Create a Pattern Interrupt in Our Cultural Conditioning – Sara Gottfried MD

Guest Post: Amita Basu on Style, Sexual Identity, Binaries, and Perfectionism – Already Pretty

Why are we not commending older women for their strength and longevity? Why are we not paying tribute to their achievements and accomplishments?” The Taboo That Still Surrounds The Aging Woman – Skylar Liberty Rose for Huffington Post

Inspirational

“So I started working on being more content. That meant accepting a lot of things about myself, learning to appreciate what I have, learning about the concept of “enough” instead of always wanting to do more, be more.
I became happier with the concept of already being enough.” The Futility of Always Pushing Myself to Be More – Zen Habits

How to Spring Clean Your Mind and Life – yes and yes

Health

Biomechanist keeps fit with no furniture – Vancouver 24 hrs

How to Manage Your Tolerance for Physical Pain – LifeHacker

The Ultimate Guide to Healthy Breast Milk – Paleo for Women

Top 7 Anti-inflammatory Herbs and Spices – Bulletproof Executive

Treating Chronic Pain with Meditation – The Atlantic

Recipes

Blueberry Bliss Bars – My Whole Food Life

Bottomless Key Lime Pie with Whipped Lemon Coconut Cream – The Tasty Alternative

Prosciutto-Wrapped Sweet Potatoes with Maple Balsamic Glaze – The Paleo Mom

Hard Cider & Maple Brined Pork Belly – Autoimmune Paleo

Cranberry Ginger Mocktail (AIP/Paleo) – Sweet Potatoes and Social Change

AIP/Paleo Fruit Terrine with Berries – A Squirrel in the Kitchen

Roasted Duck Breasts with Raspberry Orange Sauce – Comfort Bites Blog

Zucchini Cheese (Dairy Free, Nut Free) – Gutsy By Nature

County Fair Inspired Fried Dough (autoimmune Paleo) – The Curious Coconut

Gluten Free Plantain Sandwich Rounds – Delicious Obsessions

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