Link Love (2015-04-11)

Thought-provoking

“1. Isolation
Isolation is one of the first red flags in an unhealthy or abusive relationship. According to Patricia Evans, author of The Verbally Abusive Relationship, verbal abuse most commonly takes place behind closed doors.
One of the best examples of this from the film is found in Christian’s “non-disclosure” agreement. This is where he tells Anastasia that she’s not allowed to discuss their relationship with any outsiders, including friends and family.
In addition, we rarely see the couple “out and about” around people. Though there is the odd dinner or roommate encounter, for the most part, they keep to themselves – and they certainly keep their relationship to themselves.
Lie: You need to keep your relationship between you and your partner. It is nobody else’s business or concern what is said or done to you.
Truth: You have the right to discuss the dynamics of your relationship with friends and family, especially within the context of expressing concerns about the nature and health of your relationship.” 50 Shades of Abuse: 10 Signs of Unhealthy Relationships a la Christian Grey – Everyday Feminism

49/100, how many have you read? 100 books everyone should read Amazon Goodreads – Business Insider

“When a disability isn’t immediately obvious, others — at work, school or even at home — sometimes doubt it exists and accuse those who suffer from invisible conditions of simply angling for special treatment.
Medosch says she’s comfortable being vocal about her disability now because she’s well protected at her current job. She hopes discussing her own experience will help boost understanding, but acknowledges invisible disability can be hard to fathom — especially when so many people who live with it seem, outwardly, at least, to be just like everyone else.” People With ‘Invisible Disabilities’ Fight for Understanding – NPR

Pare Down with the Declutter Habit – Zen Habits

Katty Kay and Claire Shipman, coauthors of The Confidence Code: The Science and Art of Self-Assurance—What Women Should Know, say confidence isn’t just an attitude: “We spent a long time trying to define confidence because we felt that it would be easier to grow it if we really knew what is was,” they write in their book. “In the end we came to this conclusion: Confidence is life’s enabler—it is the quality that turns thoughts into action.”
Becoming confident takes practice, calculated risk-taking, and changes in the way you think, say Kay, Shipman, and Sincero.” Six Habits of Confident People – Fast Company

10 Things Your Great Grandparents Did – Imperfectly Happy

Religion

“Well, yes. Organizations that serve homeless LGBTQ youth are, by definition, advocating for them. Andreasen apparently understands the plight of LBGTQ youth who are very often homeless precisely because of their sexual orientation or gender identity. The only conclusion one can come to is that Seventh-day Adventist institutions can only support organizations that serve LGBTQ youth as long as they simultaneously condemn their sexuality.” Christian university’s morality prevents them from helping LGBTQ homeless youth – Year Without God

“I don’t think Christian culture deals well with people asserting themselves or their needs or standing apart from the herd. I had to be dealt with swiftly and decisively; I was a threat to the entire hierarchy.
I learned that “You’re selfish” really means “Your lack of self-negation is annoying me,” and it is almost always deployed by someone who thinks he or she is superior against someone thought to be an inferior. It’s often a reminder of the proper social order and an attempt to compel someone to remain in that inferior position.
Nothing about the Christian concept of self-sacrifice is really healthy, taken to extremes (but then, what is?). Over time I saw that people-pleasing looked a lot like codependence and that I was slowly losing myself, drowning in a sea of others’ needs and wants–many conflicting and contradictory, many impossible without hurting myself emotionally or physically. I was expected to lean on “Jesus” to help me meet everybody else’s needs and still somehow scrape through without losing my mind.
But Jesus was nowhere to be found.” I Was a Purple Christian People-Pleaser – Ex-Communications

Equality

“What is relevant, then? That Apata is in danger if she goes home. While Bird is intent on arguing that a woman engaged to another woman is insufficiently gay to qualify for asylum, Nigerian law doesn’t care less about a person’s deepest feelings. It’s not being gay that’ll either land you in prison or get you stoned to death. What will? Same-sex sexual activity. Or dressing in a way that doesn’t match with your assigned gender- like, say, in those terribly dapper shirts and bowties that Apata tends to wear.
Apata isn’t at risk because she feels, deep-down, that the people that she falls in love with are women. She’s at risk because of the action of having relationships with women. The action of ironing a shirt for an awards ceremony. The action, even, of working in LGBT activism, volunteering her time for her community. That’s why she had to flee her country, and that’s why she would be in extreme danger if forced to return.” It Doesn’t Matter If She’s Really Gay: How the Home Office got Aderonke Apata all wrong – Consider the Tea Cosy

19 Questions for Men that Highlight Everyday Sexism – BuzzFeed

“It’s interesting that while we were having this discussion about external job titles and descriptions, inside Buffer we were more or less doing away with job titles and descriptions as we became self-managed.
Internally, our titles weren’t important, but the outside world did not have much of a way of knowing that—and titles go a long way when someone is looking to apply for a role.” Why We Removed the Word ‘Hacker’ From Buffer Job Titles – Buffer

The Genderbread Person v3 – It’s Pronounced Metrosexual

“Despite the fact that many people are clearly suffering (and if the research is to be believed, painful sex is a very common occurrence), there is a prevalent notion that there are only two times when it is acceptable to acknowledge pain: as the receptive partner during first-time vaginal intercourse or as the receptive partner during anal penetration.
But this idea is flawed on many levels.
Not only should those two situations be pain-free, but there are plenty of other causes of pain that need to be acknowledged as well.” Why Don’t We Talk About Painful Sex? – Everyday Feminism

Inspirational

7 Tips to Preserve Your Energy If You’re a Highly Sensitive Person – MindBodyGreen

“In a world that tries to convince us – especially those of us with multiple marginalized identities – that we’re not worth taking care of, actively practicing self-compassion is an act of revolution!
Studies show that people who have compassion for themselves are happier, more optimistic, and more grateful than those who are harder on themselves.” The Science of Self-Compassion (And Why We Need More of It) – Everyday Feminism

A Powerful Guide to Reducing Stress – Tiny Buddha

Health

Am I An AIP Failure Because I Haven’t Reached Full Remission? – Paleo Cajun Lady

Going Furniture Free – Parenting Against the Grain

Vitamin B12 Deficiency and Depression – Wellness Mama

Are your skincare products toxic? – Chris Kresser

Corporations’ Newest Productivity Hack: Meditation – The Atlantic

How We Die: End of Life Planning – Mark’s Daily Apple

Anxiety: Inflammatory Origins and Natural Treatments – Primal Docs

Recipes

Coconut Crusted Chicken with Avocado Sauce (AIP-version) – Fit to Blog

AIP Chewy “Chocolate” Chunk Cookies (grain-free, egg-free, nut-free, dairy-free) – flame to fork

Masquerade Coconut & Raspberry Fudge (Raw, Vegan, Low Sugar) – Not Quite Nigella

Crispy Baked Shoestring Sweet Potato Fries – Sweet C’s Designs

‘I Can’t Believe It’s Liver!’ Duck Liver, Thyme and Orange Pâté – This Sydney Life

AIP Carrot and Sweet Potato “Chili” – Autoimmune Paleo

Hot Apple Pie Drink – Heal me in the kitchen

Brownies (AIP/Paleo) – The Paleo Partridge

Lacto-Fermented Dandelion Soda – A Life Unprocessed

Raw Chocolate Fudge with Rose Petals (AIP/Paleo) – It’s me, Charlotte!

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