Link Love (2015-05-05)
“”Public shaming as a blood sport has to stop,” says Monica Lewinsky. In 1998, she says, “I was Patient Zero of losing a personal reputation on a global scale almost instantaneously.” Today, the kind of online public shaming she went through has become constant — and can turn deadly. In a brave talk, she takes a hard look at our online culture of humiliation, and asks for a different way.” Monica Lewinsky: The price of shame – TED
Critics are pissed that people of color are finally being represented in media – Feministing
“I routinely happen upon men who are perplexed when I eventually declare that I want to know where we stand. Indecision is not a noble virtue. If a man is in “Not really feeling this becoming more than what it is,” territory, I should be made aware in no uncertain terms. If a man is in “I am waiting for someone else to be my girlfriend but I’ll keep you around till I find her” territory, I ought to know that too. My feelings, and the feelings of many people I know, are more hurt by the prolonged waiting for a concrete answer while we sit quietly with our feigned Chill. It is as if I’ve broken some unwritten law when I ask what they are looking for and am dissatisfied with the answer “I don’t really like to put labels on things.” But putting labels on things are how people find the exit during a fire and make sure they’re adding vanilla extract to the cake instead of arsenic.” Against Chill – Matter – Medium
Purvi Patel was sentenced to 20 years in prison for having a miscarriage – Feministing
“Ten days after 9/11, a shocking attack at a Texas mini-mart shattered the lives of two men: the victim and the attacker. In this stunning talk, Anand Giridharadas, author of “The True American,” tells the story of what happened next. It’s a parable about the two paths an American life can take, and a powerful call for reconciliation.” Anand Giridharadas: A tale of two Americas. And the mini-mart where they collided. – TED
The origin of the anus – BBC
“So here I am.
Female. Asexual. Aromantic. Mid-thirties. Single. Child-free. Happy.
And some people I know are convinced that some of those descriptors don’t belong in the same sentence – especially that last one.
Gasp! You’re a mid-thirties woman with no partner and no kids, and you dare to call yourself happy? That doesn’t compute.” Asexual, Aromantic, Partnerless, Child-Free… And (Yes!) Happy – Everyday Feminism
Police, Officials Resign After Small Missouri Town Elects First Black Female Mayor – Huffington Post
“So please, keep doing the research on women and children. But let’s include some information about men, too. For every article about a woman’s biological clock, I want to see a stock photo of a forlorn man pushing an empty stroller. For every warning that women’s eggs are drying up, there should be headlines about slow sperm and sad sacks. It seems only fair.
If the idea of shaming men the way that we have women for so long doesn’t appeal, there is another solution: we can mind our own business and let people live their lives in whatever way suits them best, whether that is with or without children.” Why do we never worry about men’s childlessness and infertility? – Jessica Valenti – The Guardian
Anne Wheaton Tricked GamerGate Into Indirectly Donating to Feminist Frequency – The Mary Sue
“To look at the Dublin Pride website right now, you’d be forgiven for thinking it wasn’t dissimilar from Arthur’s Day, an event designed to sell and advertise alcohol and other products. If it weren’t for one of the posts on their newsfeed on Marriage Equality, we wouldn’t be mentioned at all. The other two top posts don’t. I sure know Google is involved, though! Maybe it’s about Google? There are all those colours…
An event more local to me, Wicklow Pride, recently began distributing leaflets in my town. They mention many people, from jugglers to men’s groups, but they sure as heck don’t mention us anywhere in the four page flyer.” Pride & Shame – Danielle Lavigne
Beauty & Body Image
“When a woman puts on a foot or a knee or an arm, she often finds that it’s not quite right. Knees are too tall and too stiff, feet don’t fit into shoes, hands are big, ankles don’t bend to accommodate heels. Every step a female amputee takes puts them face to face with the fact that prosthetics is still a male dominated industry.” Man Hands – Motherboard
I Know the Rules – I Just Don’t Care – Medium
“I’ve yet to find disability clothing brands that suit my sense of style, so instead I’ve co-opted clothes from other areas that work for wheelchairs and disability needs.
Often people tend to ‘stay in their own lane’ and not look into other fashion areas. If your trousers don’t work with your wheelchair then you can struggle. I ask, who else spends lots of time sitting down and are their trousers more comfortable? If so, let’s borrow them!” Disability Creativity: Co-opting Clothing for Accessibility – Grace Quantock + Part 2
When to Buy Multiples of the Same Fashion Item – About Style
“I was faced with a decision: Should I put my gender identity in the closet and become a corporate drag act, opting for the apparently safe road of playing femme at work?” First Boi In: Dressing Queer in the Corporate World – Everyday Feminism
“I suspect this is what fuels the self-help industry, and it’s why we get so attached to comforting beliefs. We want there to be far more absolutes than there are, and we don’t want to have to carry the weight of our choices alone.
Sometimes in looking for emotional back up, we give our power away—and oftentimes to people who know far less about what we need than we think. It’s an interesting thing about perceived experts: Our perceptions aren’t always accurate.” There Is No Expert on You – Tiny Buddha
The Spiritual Path of Not Giving a Shit – The Love Vitamin
“What does it mean to hold space for someone else? It means that we are willing to walk alongside another person in whatever journey they’re on without judging them, making them feel inadequate, trying to fix them, or trying to impact the outcome. When we hold space for other people, we open our hearts, offer unconditional support, and let go of judgement and control.
Sometimes we find ourselves holding space for people while they hold space for others. In our situation, for example, Ann was holding space for us while we held space for Mom. Though I know nothing about her support system, I suspect that there are others holding space for Ann as she does this challenging and meaningful work. It’s virtually impossible to be a strong space holder unless we have others who will hold space for us. Even the strongest leaders, coaches, nurses, etc., need to know that there are some people with whom they can be vulnerable and weak without fear of being judged.
In my own roles as teacher, facilitator, coach, mother, wife, and friend, etc., I do my best to hold space for other people in the same way that Ann modeled it for me and my siblings. It’s not always easy, because I have a very human tendency to want to fix people, give them advice, or judge them for not being further along the path than they are, but I keep trying because I know that it’s important. At the same time, there are people in my life that I trust to hold space for me.” What it means to “hold space” for people, plus eight tips on how to do it well – Heather Plett
“Expect to offend some people.
If you’re not ruffling feathers then you’re not going big enough.” Stop Caring What People Think – Danielle Dowling
Chronic Illness & Pain
“Its hard, the hardest thing I ever had to learn is to slow down, and not do everything. I fight this to this day. I hate feeling left out, having to choose to stay home, or to not get things done that I want to. I wanted her to feel that frustration. I wanted her to understand, that everything everyone else does comes so easy, but for me it is one hundred little jobs in one. I need to think about the weather, my temperature that day, and the whole day’s plans before I can attack any one given thing. When other people can simply do things, I have to attack it and make a plan like I am strategizing a war. It is in that lifestyle, the difference between being sick and healthy. It is the beautiful ability to not think and just do. I miss that freedom. I miss never having to count “spoons”.” The Spoon Theory – But You Don’t Look Sick
Supplements to Help Banish Brain Fog – The Princess in the Tower
“Restorative postures, which are often supported by blocks, blankets, bolsters and other props, are designed to maximize comfort and allow the practitioner to fully let go; this is why they are held for longer periods of time than most other poses – 5 to 20 minutes. The head is near or below the level of the heart, which helps stimulate reflexes that quiet the brain and heart. These poses may look like nothing, and that’s exactly what you’re supposed to do while you’re in them. But that doesn’t mean nothing is happening! Give yourself 5-20 minutes in each pose, and be mindful of how you feel before and after. For many people, these poses are more effective for stress relief and body renewal than sleep. Not that you’d want to replace your solid 8 hours with them, but if you’re hankering for a nap, try one or two of these poses for 5-20 minutes each and see how you feel. If you fall asleep in one of these poses, though, don’t worry. Many people do! Best nap ever.” Restorative Yoga for Stress Relief – Autoimmune Paleo
8 Ways You and Your Partner Can Deal with Chronic Pain and Illness – World of Psychology
“We are lazy, we don’t want to give up any of the elements of the lifestyle that is making us sick, and contemporary medicine is our enabler.” Has Contemporary Medicine Made Us Lazy? – Sweet Potatoes and Social Change
Coping With Chronic Illness – Exercise Part 1 – Is It Good or Bad? – Laina Laughing, Exercise Part 2 – 5 Myths and Facts About Exercise While Ill & Exercise Part 3 – How to Build Strength While Chronically Ill
“The findings from these studies might mean that L-lysine plays a significant role in lowering anxiety levels in those known to have a deficiency of the amino acid, or in those who are just suspected to have a low dietary intake of it. The findings also indicate that the amino acid is effective at eliminating stress-induced anxiety and trait anxiety.” L-Lysine and Anxiety – Love to Know
Unfucking with chronic pain and illness – Unfuck Your Habitat
25 Foods You Can Re-Grow Yourself from Kitchen Scraps – DIY & Crafts
“Growing evidence of the brain-gut connection also lends support the hypothesis that when it comes to mental health, food matters. The idea that there might be a significant link between gut health and brain health — and that gut bacteria imbalances in a number of neurological conditions, including anxiety, depression, autism, ADHD and schizophrenia — has gained steam in the scientific community. A 2014 neuroscience symposium even called the investigation of gut microbes a “paradigm shift” in brain science.” Diet May Be As Important To Mental Health As It Is To Physical Health – Huffington Post
9 Reasons You Should Have Sex While Pregnant – Paleo for Women
“When Fido drags his saliva-drenched tongue across your face, man’s best friend may be doing you a microbial favor as well as showing affection.” Dog germs may be good for you – UT San Diego
Zinc: an Antidepressant – Psychology Today
“Today, the internet abounds with fitspiration carrying messages of “more,” “harder,” and “I do it even though it hurts” sentiments. And while you may think you’re immune to those ‘harder equals better’ mantras, there still are an abundance of habits out there that aren’t as healthy as they may seem.
Exercise is not meant to break you. Exercise habits are not meant to suck other important aspects of your health dry. Exercising is not meant to be a numbing agent to things your body is telling you.
Exercise is just one part of a balanced Health Equation – and far too often a short-sightedness exists in the selections made in the ‘exercise’ category with regard to how they affect whole body health.” When “Healthy” Habits Aren’t – Whole9
Soft Star Shoes: The Interview – Katy Says
“Your feet are one of the most structurally complex parts of your body – they contain about one quarter of all your muscles – but they’ve also been jammed into shoes and immobilized for pretty much your entire life. That is why your feet hurt. At a very high level, anyway!” Why do my feet hurt? The hammer toes edition. – Movement Revolution
What Is MCT Oil Really? MCT Oils vs. Coconut Oil Explained – Bulletproof Executive
Crispy Coconut Crusted Chicken Strips – Once a Month Meals
Bacon-Beef Liver Paté with Rosemary and Thyme – Autoimmune Paleo
Paleo Bacon Spinach AIPizza with Arugula Pesto Recipe – Paleo Cajun Lady
Probiotic Apple Sauce – The Coconut Mama
Adventures in Fermentation: Coconut Milk Yogurt – Gutsy By Nature
Mini Strawberry Shortcakes (AIP/Paleo) – Sweet Potatoes and Social Change
Crispy Baked Plantain Chips – Neo-Homesteading
Slow Cooker Carnitas with Plantain Wraps – Salixisme
Shepherd’s Pie: Jacked Up – Real Food With Dana
Autoimmune Paleo Pancakes – Comfort Bites