Link Love (2015-05-09)
Bill Gates: The next outbreak? We’re not ready. – TED
“In fact, “becoming more efficient” is part of the problem. Thinking of time as a resource to be maximised means you approach it instrumentally, judging any given moment as well spent only in so far as it advances progress toward some goal. Immersive reading, by contrast, depends on being willing to risk inefficiency, goallessness, even time-wasting. Try to slot it in as a to-do list item and you’ll manage only goal-focused reading – useful, sometimes, but not the most fulfilling kind. “The future comes at us like empty bottles along an unstoppable and nearly infinite conveyor belt,” writes Gary Eberle in his book Sacred Time, and “we feel a pressure to fill these different-sized bottles (days, hours, minutes) as they pass, for if they get by without being filled, we will have wasted them.” No mind-set could be worse for losing yourself in a book.” How to find time to read – The Guardian
10 Reasons Why Kids Need to Read Non-Disney Fairy Tales – Brightly
“This is why gender policing is an inherent part of toxic masculinity. After all, one of the ways that men can prove their masculine bona fides is to punish someone else for digressing from the standard. This is why RedPillers, Men’s Rights Advocates and other fellow travellers love to throw around accusations like “white knight”, “beta male” or “cuck”; it’s an attempt to reaffirm the natural desirability of the status-quo by questioning the motivations of the challenger. To those invested in maintaining it, toxic masculinity is – by definition – the natural and desirable state; clearly the only reason why somebody would challenge it is because they’re angling for female approval and thus, be rewarded with sex they couldn’t get otherwise. Accusations of white-knighting also serve to derail the discussion, changing the terms of the debate from challenging toxic masculinity to having to justify one’s behavior and “prove” they’re not just in it for the sex. It’s a rhetorical trap; taking the bait and arguing about whether you’re a white knight or not inherently acknowledges the validity of the accusation, hamstringing the protestor’s argument. Every successful derailment demonstrates a cruel irony: those who have been the most negatively affected by these toxic stereotypes often absorb and lionize those stereotypes themselves and will be the first to defend them.” Reclaiming Manhood: Detoxifying Toxic Masculinity – Dr NerdLove
8 Reasons Why Authors Are Assholes – whimsydark
“What’s basically happening here is that, having blamed me for an act I didn’t even commit, Jesus is now, what, absolving me of that act by doing something I never asked him to do in the first place? And he’ll punish me if I don’t do whatever he says as a result of him having done me this favor I never requested for an act I never actually personally committed? Or worse yet, he’d punish me for what basically amounts to thought crimes for the most part, done in service to this game I was never asked to play as a result of a sin that my most-distant ancestors have committed to condemn me to a sinful nature to begin with?” A Favor You Never Asked For – Ex-Communications
Mona Eltahawy Doesn’t Need to Be Rescued – NY Times
Dude Social Fallacies – SPC Snaptags
“But we’re witnessing is not simply gaslighting within abusive relationships, but rather a communal gaslighting of women in society. You don’t have to have completed a Masters of Feminisms to know that in institutions both large and small, public and private, women may voice concern, distress, hurt and even anger, but it is overwhelmingly a man, (whether a police officer, or a magistrate, or a manager, or a CEO, or a minister, or a priest, or a politician) who gets to decide whether or not the woman’s feelings count.” ‘She’s overreacting’: Why men find it so hard to trust women – Daily Life
Being ‘Too Sensitive’ Isn’t the Problem – Oppression Is – Everyday Feminism
“Think about the women in your life; think about their stories of harassment and uninvited attention—we all have them. If their stories of harassment remind you of that one time two decades ago when someone said something to you that made you feel badly, you are not listening.
It is OK to lack the ability to relate to certain experiences. In fact, admitting that you are not able to relate to something is the preferred response. It means that you are listening. Sometimes silence, accompanied by a caring heart and open ears, is the only appropriate response.
I am grateful for the many men who cannot fathom making women uncomfortable with their surroundings; the men who cannot fathom these stories. But it might be said that undermining—or worse yet, evaluating or flat out denying—a woman’s stories about harassment is a step in that direction, however well-intentioned you may be. If a story upsets you, direct your anger appropriately. Do not blame the women who have had to alter their view of the world because of their experiences with being women. Blame the men who have made it more difficult for you to fathom this kind of world.” What Not To Say When A Woman Shares Her Experience With Street Harassment – Role/Reboot
Don’t go anywhere: Risk management for women – Feminist Ire
Beauty & Body Image
How to Pare Down Your Wardrobe When You Like Most of It – Recovering Shopaholic
Aside from the incredibly offensive dismissal of women who suffer from painful periods, this is pretty thought-provoking. The Pink Tax – Listen Money Matters
Are There Fat Asians? Yes. I’m One of Them – The Bold Italic – San Fransisco
“She’s the kind of beauty we’d call “effortless,” which can be directly translated to “thin, with good skin, expensive (but minimalist) clothes, and hair that always looks done without ever looking touched.” It’s a lie, created with “no-makeup makeup,” and art direction, and vaseline on cheekbones to give you that dewy, beach-babe look when you are sitting in an air conditioned apartment in Williamsburg. But the effect is the same: This girl is beautiful and perfectly self-controlled, in a way you will never be, and it is reflected in everything from her expansive, perfectly-appointed kitchen, to her impossibly tasteful collection of thin gold jewelry.
She is never actually doing anything, of course. She is sipping her tea, staring out the window, sitting curled up on her comically large white couch with a few magazines strewn about her. She is not there to inspire anything other than insecurity, because her “achievements” include keeping everything incredibly white, not gaining weight, and having a messy bun that is always on the verge of falling but never actually does. It’s aspirational, but aspiration towards “being rich enough to have a fuckton of space with which I do absolutely nothing.”
And she is bad for mental health. She’s not just incredibly beautiful, which is a more run-of-the-mill sort of insecurity, she’s propped up as beautiful (and surrounded by beauty) without ever trying, which adds a profound level of frustration to the average Hollywood starlet who is stunning, but in a way that requires a process. The MPDG is there to convince you that if you only stop trying so hard, your life will suddenly be perfect, aesthetically pleasing, and entirely white without a single stain. (There is always an extra pinch of offensiveness to the photos where this aesthetic comes with a pet, because, as any pet owner knows, all-white is a masochistic choice if you have also chosen animals.)” The Minimalist Pixie Dream Girl: Who She Is and Why I Hate Her – The Financial Diet
“Mad Men” Beauty Musings: Envy, Similarity and “Modesty” – The Beheld
45 Simple Self-Care Practices for a Healthy Mind, Body & Soul – Tiny Buddha
“Sometimes we want to do all the things because we know deep down that we can’t possibly do all the things and that this is a great way to commit to nothing in the meantime—to not take any risks, not not fail, to not experience change.
Sometimes we want to do all the things because we want a shortcut. We want the life of the person who is 5 years ahead of us right now, so we try to replicate what they’re doing now, instead of what they did to get that point.
Whatever the case is, we show up as our best when we view life through a lens of “enough,” rather than “not enough.”” You Can Do Anything But Not Everything – Becoming Who You Are
2. Always, always, always, and one more time for good measure, always start where you are. 5 Tips for Getting Motivated to Take Better Care of Yourself – Christie Inge
“The other thing that struck me as I read through all of the comments, emails, etc., is that, while all of you are all responding from a place of generosity and openheartedness, wanting to learn more about holding space for others, you also need to be given permission and encouragement tohold space for yourselves.
This is really important. If we don’t care for ourselves well in this work, we’ll suffer burnout, and risk becoming cynical and/or ineffective.
PLEASE take the time to hold space for yourself so that you can hold space for others.
It is not selfish to focus on yourself. In fact, it’s an act of generosity and commitment to make sure that you are at your best when you support others. They will get much more effective, meaningful, and openhearted support from you if you are healthy and strong.” How to hold space for yourself first – Heather Plett
Do You Value Experiences Over Things? – Mark’s Daily Apple
Chronic Illness & Pain
Pacing for Pain Management – The Princess in the Tower
‘”2. Young people are repeatedly told: “You’re too young to be in pain.”
Countless young people have written to me, saying that thiis is one of the most frustrating and hurtful comments they have to listen to. No matter what their diagnosis, they’re continually told that they can’t possibly be in chronic pain at their age. Imagine how hard it must be to respond skillfully to a comment like that.” The Extra Burden Faced by Young People with Chronic Illness – Psychology Today
16 Things People in Chronic Pain Want You to Know – The Pain Relief Foundation
“Planning a social life around chronic pain and illness is hugely frustrating for everyone involved and – for those who are not in it for the long haul – can be swift to dissolve friendships. If you’ve ever known someone who keeps on saying that they want to catch up but never commits, or a friend who is constantly cancelling on you at the last minute, you know how frustrating that flakiness is.
Yet in our ever-erratic, unpredictable illness, our chronic pain can make us mimic that flaky friend to perfection. “On the one hand, we don’t want to over-commit to others and then have to cancel. On the other hand, we don’t want to unnecessarily isolate ourselves too much,” says patient, advocate and author of How to Be Sick: A Buddhist-Inspired Guide for the Chronically Ill and Their Caregivers, Toni Bernhard.
“This constant need to assess what’s best for us to do is hard and exhausting work. In the end, because of the uncertainty of our symptoms, most of us must simply make an educated guess and hope for the best.”” How to Cope When Chronic Pain Affects Friends, Family & Social Life – The Princess in the Tower
Warm Water Therapy – Arthritis Foundation
“The issue of independence is a big one to us. Maybe because we may have so little of it.
So, just how do you maintain a level of independence when you are not actually a person of independent means?” 5 Ways to Maintain Independence While Chronically Ill – Laina Laughing
4 simple tips for doing a high-pain cleaning day – Unfuck Your Habitat
Skincare Saturday: Is your skin WATER dry or OIL dry? – The Purely Primal Skincare Blog
“3. Hypermobility isn’t really the correct name for a joint that has excessive range of motion. Hyperlaxity is. Unfortunately, Hippocrates created the term hypermobile, while grouping together a set of Persian bow and arrow warriors who had elbows that seemed to extend more than others. The name stuck. It is documented in the literature that the term hypermobility should be changed to hyperlaxity, but that it would take too much time and effort to correct in forthcoming texts. Conserving time and effort seems like a good reason to continue to mislabel ailments in the body. Hey kids! See if the “this takes too much time and effort” excuse works with your parents and teachers. Hey parents! See if the “this takes too much time and effort” excuse works with your boss. Or the tax man. Let me know how it goes.” Hypermobility – Katy Says
Pacing for Pain Management – The Princess in the Tower
“Did you know that 25 percent of the muscles and bones are from the ankle down? Unfortunately, we don’t utilize this amazing design because our feet are usually stuffed in stiff narrow shoes! The feet are dynamic and should be able to mold around stones and terrain without causing stress on the knees and hips, but since our feet are confined in shoes, they’re not able to absorb what is beneath them. Instead, the whole foot moves as one unit and the ankles, knees and hips suffer.”Correct Toe Spacers – Alignment Monkey
Are Seeds Healthy to Eat? – Mark’s Daily Apple
“Slowly but surely the birth culture of “induction or C-section on demand” has changed. Now, most doctors have received the memo that unnecessary inductions are potentially dangerous for moms and babies. If there are solid, compelling medical reasons to induce or schedule a C-section, then, by all means, that’s what those procedures are there for. However, if the medical reason can wait until a baby is full term, mothers and babies both fare better. If there’s no reason to induce or do surgery, then for heaven’s sake–don’t do it. That’s why these guidelines were developed, because finally, FINALLY, the medical community understands that “close enough to the due date” isn’t always good enough. Lots of essential “finish work” is done in the last few weeks of pregnancy and we’re learning more every day about the negative consequences we’re inflicting on babies when we cut short their time in the uterus.” I’m 37 Weeks Pregnant: Is that too soon to give birth? – Fit Pregnancy
Are Microwave Ovens Safe? – Chris Kresser
Beef Liver Pate with Balsamic Caramelized Onions – Enjoying This Journey
Paleo Fish and Chips (AIP) – Gutsy By Nature
Thyme-Scented Strawberry Fool – Autoimmune Paleo
Carrot Cake with Whipped Coconut Frosting (AIP, Paleo) – Heartbeet Kitchen
Paleo (& Nut-Free) Crispy Chicken Tenders – Lexi’s Clean Kitchen
Cookie Dough Ice Cream (AIP/Paleo) – Sweet Potatoes and Social Change
Waffles Cones with Vanilla Ice Cream – Civilized Caveman Cooking Creations