Link Love (2015-05-30)

Thought-provoking

“While my husband Sean and I are not religious, we both grew up in religious homes. My children’s grandparents, aunts, uncles, great-aunts, great-uncles, and so forth, are all religious. Sean and I don’t want to be the only ones encouraging our children to think for themselves and form their own beliefs. We want to bring our children up in a community where they can feel comfortable to express themselves and explore, a community that values critical thinking and self actualization. And here in our local UU church, we have found that community.” Why I Take My Kids to the UU Church – Love, Joy, Feminism

Competitive Sport – Scandinavia and the World

“Reasons are not boring. Reasons are actual, legitimate explanations as to why an action or activity are not feasible for you to accomplish. So when I say, “Excuses are boring,” I’m not saying, “There is no acceptable statement of fact that explains why you cannot do this.” I’m saying, “If you aren’t doing this because you don’t feel like it, and you’re using all sorts of justifications that you know are bullshit so you don’t have to do it? That’s boring.” If your justifications aren’t bullshit, if they are factual explanations that you know are limiting you, those are reasons. They aren’t boring, they aren’t excuses, and so “Excuses are boring” doesn’t apply to you.
You know what’s a reason and what’s an excuse. If we can find a way to work within the limitations of our reasons without employing excuses, well, that’s pretty exciting. Not boring at all.” Ask UfYH: Excuses vs. Reasons – Persephone Magazine

Non-Verbal Cues: The 2 Things Never to be Left Unspoken – Forbes

“Considering what some people have endured in abusive environments, it’s kind of amazing that they can function as well as they do. Sometimes what’s left over from these experiences are toxic learned behaviors that can harm the survivor and the people around them.
As I mentioned at the beginning of this article, previous abuse is not an excuse to continue toxic behaviors.
Some people who have worked on changing these behaviors see their efforts as one more way of stopping their past abuse from continuing to harm them.
Just realizing the need to make changes is a great place to start.” Here’s What You Need to Know About Unlearning Toxic Behaviors If You Grew Up Around Abuse – Everyday Feminism

“The key to any magic feather is simple: it changes you without effort on your part. It’s the idea that this one thing will somehow transform you in the ways you’ve always wanted… as long as you don’t stop to ask yourself how that transformation will happen. We’re just given the cause and the effect: get thinner, and you’ll be a better person. Get this look and you’ll be cooler. Live this lifestyle and you’ll be more important, more socially desirable. Rack up more lays and you’ll be more respected by your peers.
The mechanics of this transformation are always conveniently ignored, because they get in the way of the fantasy. On its face, it seems obvious. Exercise isn’t going to give you a different personality. Dieting doesn’t make you charismatic. Your basement studio apartment doesn’t make you less socially skilled than a corner penthouse. Having money doesn’t make you less socially awkward or inexperienced. It’s pure magical thinking – achieve this goal and everything will just fall into place. You may as well just put pictures on your dreamboard or cross your eyes and wish really really hard; it will have the exact same effect.” No More Magic Feathers: The Secret to Finding Real Self-Improvement – Dr NerdLove

Equality

“On the last day of August 2014, in a ruling the country and the media barely noticed, Mr Justice Ryan in the High Court in Kerry found against Ciara Hamilton and for the HSE in an utterly terrifying moment for every person pregnant or giving birth in Ireland from here on out. Ciara Hamilton had taken a case against the Health Service Executive after the birth of her second child, during which a midwife had, without obtaining consent, broken her waters, leading to an umbilical cord prolapse and an emergency caesarean section.” Island of no consent – maternity care and bodily autonomy in Ireland – Feminist Ire

8 Unexpected Confessions of a Transsexual Man – Everyday Feminism

“I know that as the years go by, Sally’s naïveté will gradually evaporate. As she grows, she will need to learn to navigate a terrain that will often make more of her female-bodiedness than her knowledge, interests, or skills. The boys at Sally’s school are at the “eww, girls are icky” stage, but they won’t stay there forever. Someday their voices will be the ones telling rape jokes in Youtube videos and making sexist jokes during online multiplayer games.
Unless—is it too much to hope for that things will change in years before Sally hits puberty? Maybe—just maybe—the boys at her lunch table won’t tell those jokes, or make those comments. Maybe—but given the grudging nature of their inclusion in the present, I’m not overly hopeful. Sally is only six, and already she has to overcome her female-bodiedness.” Gamergate Comes Home – Love, Joy, Feminism

Paraguay denies abortion for 10-year-old rape victim – Feministing

“Eighteen black women who were told decades ago that their babies had died soon after birth at a St Louis hospital now wonder if the infants were taken away by hospital officials to be raised by other families.” Black mothers wonder if their babies were stolen in decades-old mystery – The Guardian

Beauty & Body Image

“In the end, chasing a body shaped by conventional standards of attraction and achieving my ideal midsection turned out to be a long and dangerous road – and led to hormonal, emotional, and physical issues, which took me years to overcome.
Now that I’m driven by what’s right for my body, not by what’s attractive according to social norms, I don’t give a damn about having six-pack abs. This isn’t because six-pack abs are inherently bad or unhealthy, it’s because the pursuit and achievement of six-pack abs was bad and unhealthy for me.” Why I Don’t Want Six-Pack Abs – Coconuts and Kettlebells

How to make your closet more sustainable without buying a thing – Gretchen’s Closet

“Once upon a time, maternity clothing was all bows, floral patterns, and muumuus. While it has evolved in the last few decades to include body-conscious styles that flaunt (rather than hide) “baby bumps,” it’s remained mostly conventionally feminine.
The founders of the new line Butchbaby & Co. want to change that. Vanessa Newman, a digital strategist, and Michelle Janayea, a design student at Columbia College in Chicago, are creating an alternative to hyperfeminine maternitywear aimed at LGBTQ folks who are starting their own families.” Maternity Clothes for Genderqueer Parents – The Cut

Inspirational

“Imagine for a moment the amount of energy you expend brooding over the future, ruminating about the past, comparing yourself to others, judging yourself, worrying about what might happen next. That is a huge amount of energy. Now imagine all of that energy gathered in and returned to you. Underlying our usual patterns of self-preoccupation, stinging self-judgment, and fear is the universal, innate potential for love and awareness.
Loving kindness meditations point us back to a place within, where we can cultivate love and help it flourish. Developing care toward ourselves is the first objective, the foundation for later being able to include others in the sphere of kindness.” Be Kind to Yourself – Right Now – Mindful

5 Beliefs That Are Messing Up Your Meditation Practice – Mind Body Green

“Do you strive for perfection, and feel constantly disappointed that you never get there? Do you find yourself putting things off because you can’t do them perfectly, or worse, never sharing the things you do because they’re not “perfect”?” Why Perfectionism Sucks – Lottie Ryan

Have You Listened to Your Self-Talk Lately? – Psychology Today

“Obviously this equates to love me = love this movie. In my mind, because I brought Kenny to this movie, his enjoyment and happiness were my responsibility.” You Are Not Responsible For Other People’s Happiness – Yes and Yes

Chronic Illness & Pain

Lifting the Fog: Treating Cognitive Problems – CFIDS & Fibromyalgia Self-Help

“When living with fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome, pacing is key to managing your symptoms. That’s easier said than done with the busy lives most of us lead, but with some effort, you can learn to pace yourself.” Pacing Yourself with Fibromyalgia and ME/CFS – About Health

Ask UfYH: Where to Start When You Can’t Get to Everything – Persephone Magazine

“Adding a psychological approach to your pain management tool kit can help you develop coping skills that will decrease anxiety, depression, anger and guilt – all of which help to decrease pain and increase your ability to live with pain.” How to Use Pain Psychology Techniques to Reduce Anxiety, Depression, Anger and Guilt – The Princess in the Tower

Energy Economy – 14 Suggestions for Cleaning House While Chronically Ill – Laina Laughing

“For many, the lupus fog is just another troubling manifestation of this unpredictable disease. While there is no medical treatment for a brain fog, there are several coping strategies that could help with the frustrating symptoms of the condition.” Lupus Brain Fog: What it is and how do you cope? – Molly’s Fund

Health

What is Matcha Green Tea? – Wellness Mama

“The emerging awareness of this very “volatile” situation reveals problems much more pervasive and dangerous than tobacco smoke. Most everyone washes their clothes in detergents and fabric softeners containing fragrances that release toxic chemicals on the skin and into the air all day long.  At night they sleep in pajamas and on sheets washed in the same.  Because of this, people are awash in fragrances twenty four hours a day. When people go to a public place, they are sharing what is now being called “secondhand fragrance”. This is the combination of chemicals being released into the public air space from air fresheners, cleaning products, and scented candles plus all the products people are wearing (from hair spray, shampoo, clothes, to perfume, etc). Everyone is involuntarily breathing contaminated air even if they choose to not wear fragranced products. It’s time to clear the air and prioritize human health, not economic interest. Already lines are being drawn between two fiercely opposing camps – the National Perfumers Guild and Fragrance Houses versus the “Anti-Fragrance Activists.”” Fragrance Is The New Secondhand Smoke – Branch Basics

Medicine Cabinet Must Have Part II – The Healing Benefits of Tea Tree Oil – Yogi Mami

“Why should you care? A few reasons. First, when you can’t use a muscle, even a tiny little one, that muscle will wither away. The cells starve, and the area becomes vulnerable to disease and injury. How vulnerable? Some 75% of North Americans will have foot problems at some point in their lives. The majority are women (because of our poor shoe choices) and the pain usually begins in our 40’s, 50’s and 60’s (because our bodies did a heroic job of compensating for the microdamage until then). Plus, foot problems aren’t always foot problems – often, they’re back and hip and knee problems that are created because our gait is so unfunctional. You can go the orthotics and surgery and gradual immobilization route, or you can put in some time and dedication – it’s all completely fixable.” Becoming a Toe Ninja – Movement Revolution

5 Steps for a Healthier Life – Sweet Potatoes and Social Change

“Salmonella is still a very real concern when it comes to cooking chicken, turkey, and other poultry. It gets knocked into our heads again and again that poultry is safe to eat only when its juices run clear, when the meat is no longer pink, and when it registers at least 165° in the thickest part of the thigh.
But of those, only temperature is the real indicator of a fully-cooked chicken. The USDA says that as long as all parts of the chicken have reached a minimum internal temperature of 165°, it is safe to eat. Color does not indicate doneness.” Chicken Still Pink After Cooking? Don’t Panic – The Kitchn

What’s so Healthy About Avocado Oil – Mark’s Daily Apple

Recipes

How to Make Matcha Marshmallows – Wellness Mama

How to Make an Herb Rub Without a Recipe – Food52

Matcha and Coconut Butter Truffles – Seasonal & Savory

A-Z Vegetable Recipe Roundup (Wahls + Paleo AIP) – Phoenix Helix

Triple Ginger Cookies – Gluten, Grain, and Dairy Free – Delicious Obsessions

Vanilla Ginger Chai Tea (with a nourishing gelatin boost!) – GNOWFGLINS

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