Link Love (2015-07-11)
“There’s a difference between having an unpopular or opposite opinion and being a dick to other people. If you’ve found that you’re regularly getting excluded from conversations or kicked out of forums for the apparent crime of not agreeing with everyone, then it may be that the problem isn’t what you have to say, but how you’re saying it.” How to Share Your Unpopular Opinion (Without Being an Asshole) – Dr NerdLove
Share Fondness and Admiration – The Gottman Relationship Blog
“EU plans to regulate hormone-damaging chemicals found in pesticides have been dropped because of threats from the US that this would adversely affect negotiations for the Transatlantic Trade and Investment Partnership (TTIP), according to a report in The Guardian. Draft EU regulations would have banned 31 pesticides containing endocrine disrupting chemicals (EDCs) that have been linked to testicular cancer and male infertility.” EU dropped plans for safer pesticides because of TTIP and pressure from US – Ars Technica UK
Tea Tuesdays: Butter Up That Tea, Tibetan-Style – NPR
“To be fair, I recognize the reasons why some parents or guardians would want to—shall we say—enthusiastically encourage their children to hug relatives and family friends. Hugs are positive, right? They instill trust, good will, and healthy connections to the people closest to you, right?
Of course they do – when they’re given consensually. And even four-year-olds have bodily autonomy, and therefore, the right to consent (or not).” Your Child Should Never Be Forced to Hug Anyone (Yes, Including a Relative) – Here Are 7 Reasons Why – Everyday Feminism
Reading: The Struggle by Tim Parks – The New York Review of Books
“Over the past week, as I have followed the response to the revelation that Josh Duggar sexually molested five girls as a teen, I have grown only more disheartened. At times I’ve started to hyperventilate. Many Christians are placing more emphasis on protecting Josh than on protecting his victims. Just as many have proven themselves unable to distinguish between consensual premarital sexual contact and nonconsensual premarital sexual contact. Even more have acted as though forgiveness should negate consequences.” How Christian Culture Excuses Sex Offenders – Love, Joy, Feminism
11 Situations You Take for Granted Every Day that Prove the World is Cissexist – Everyday Feminism
“Turning someone in for child sexual assault can only be framed as “ruining their life” if you remove their victims, present and future, from the picture entirely. Does life as a registered sex offender truly weigh more on the scale than the life of a sexually abused child whose abuser walks the street with no record or legal consequences for his actions?” When the Perpetrators Matter More Than the Victims – Love, Joy, Feminism
Yassmin Abdel-Magied: What does my headscarf mean to you? – TED
“When women win literary awards for fiction it’s usually for writing from a male perspective and/or about men. The more prestigious the award, the more likely the subject of the narrative will be male.” Books about women don’t win big awards: some data – Nicola Griffith
Beauty & Body Image
“Self-love is where I lack confidence. Self-love is the very place where I must fight to practice what I preach. Self-love blog posts are the posts I read over and over to myself, because sometimes I channel the very words I most need to hear myself.” How I Gained Five Pounds and Totally Lost It – Health Light Balance
“We’ve had the same conversations about make-up her whole life. She’s allowed to play with mine at home. I’ve taught her how to do it well. I’ve always talked about it as a choice, something she could choose or not when she’s older and something I find fun. Because I do. I actually used to do it for a living. While I realize I can’t possibly role model every possibility of expressing womanhood (it’s unlimited, really), it’s important to me that I’m always holding space for other women as well as whoever she may become.
So it came as a shock when baby girl told me to put make-up on the other day.
She was complimenting my outfit and said, “You look beautiful but you should put make-up on and be more beautiful.” It wasn’t mean spirited. She wasn’t being rude. But that should stood out to me. This same conversation played out a few times in a week and I realized this was something worth addressing. I thought I’d been so clear. It was a choice. Everyone is beautiful as they come. And then my example hit me like a ton of bricks.
1) Tell her make-up isn’t a mandate. 2) Tell her it’s a choice for fun. 3) Put it on every single day.
Shit.” Does make-up make Mommy beautiful? – Erin Brown
Free Colouring In Printables – Mandala Meditation
“Being single has its advantages. I never realized how much energy I was expending on compromising and trying to make things work. It’s lonely at times but much more relaxing. So much so that I think I’m going to give up all of my high maintenance relationships. Maybe it will help me cut down on my crash and burn days.
In fact, I’m thinking about promoting a psychological energy conservation campaign modeled after Go Green. Instead of Reduce, Reuse, Recycle, my slogan is Refrain, Reframe, Reevaluate. Since my tag line is less intuitive, let me elaborate.” Psychological Energy Conservation – Normal In Training
All About Kindness: Quotations, Reflections, and Photos – Psychology Today
“Decluttering, believes Saruwatari, isn’t just about getting your desk and closet in order. It’s about relieving yourself of all the stuff you’re hanging onto from past careers, relationships, and unfinished business. “It was a huge ‘aha’ moment for me to realize the power of going through your clutter and letting go of it,” she says.” The Psychology Behind All That Clutter You Can’t Get Rid Off – Fast Company
Chronic Illness & Pain
What It’s Like to to Take a Vacation While Chronically Ill – Psychology Today
“1) Take a list of symptoms and questions. Always go to the doctors with a list of your symptoms and a list of questions, particularly if you suffer from brain fog or find yourself overwhelmed when discussing your issues. If possible keep a diary of how you feel in the run up to the appointment so you are detailed about your experiences.” 5 Tips to Get the Most Help Possible from Your Doctor Appointments – Lottie Ryan
How to Handle a Fibromyalgia Flare Up: 5 Tips – Fibro Geek
“Autoimmune disease is serious business. It often requires medical intervention to prevent disability, treat excruciating pain, and even save lives. While the side effects can be scary (which is why we have the goal to get off medication), living with the symptoms of an untreated autoimmune disease is even scarier. There is no shame in taking medication. People who go off their medication aren’t superior to those who don’t. They’re often just luckier. The truth is — some people’s illness is more aggressive than others.” Where Medication Fits on a Healing Diet – Autoimmune Paleo
Acceptance with Resilience – Living with Chronic Pain – Brain Blogger
“Exercising with a chronic illness is a battlefield. You know you should do it. It’s part of a healthy lifestyle. But you also know it could make things worse. Like biking 60km without training and becoming bedridden for the next week worse(I maybe did this). So how can you reap the benefits of exercise without living in fear of harming your body and aggravating your symptoms? You want me to make it easy for you, don’t you? You say to yourself- this is a yoga blog! You are going to tell me to do yoga! But you can’t outsmart me this time lassies. You are going to have to put in some work to make exercise help you. It requires paying attention, and being fully present when you are moving. We’ve all been told to ‘listen to our bodies’. And it works, to listen to your body- you can stop when you need to stop and push on when you need to push on. But how do you develop this secret ‘body sense’ that some people seem to have so down, while you seem to overdo it almost every time? For me, the answer is mindfulness. When you use mindfulness in exercise you’ll be able to listen to your body, and with continued practice, find yourself more in sync with what your bod is craving.” What Is Mindful Yoga – Aroga Yoga
Doable Yoga for Fibromyalgia – Sue Ingebretson
The Low-FODMAP Diet – My Sunflower Project
“Enders is studying in Frankfurt for her medical doctorate in microbiology. She is utterly, charmingly obsessed with the gut, gut bacteria and poo. She writes and talks about her subject matter with such child-like enthusiasm, it’s infectious. And, yes, we have been pooing all wrong. Enders tells me about various studies that show that we do it more efficiently if we squat. This is because the closure mechanism of the gut is not designed to “open the hatch completely” when we’re sitting down or standing up: it’s like a kinked hose. Squatting is far more natural and puts less pressure on our bottoms. She says: “1.2 billion people around the world who squat have almost no incidence of diverticulosis and fewer problems with piles. We in the west, on the other hand, squeeze our gut tissue until it comes out of our bottoms.” Lovely.” The truth about poo: we’re doing it wrong – The Guardian
Why Your Yoga Pose Will Never Look Like the Instructor’s (and That’s Good) – Greatist
“So how do you tell a beautifully ripe cheese from a spoiled, rotten cheese? The first indication of a past-prime cheese is an ammonia smell, and the second is a breaking down of the rind, leading to colorful tufts of mold, combined with a discoloration of the paste. Each style of stinky cheese has its own “past due” indicators, but ammonia aromas and a rotting rind are universal signs of a spoiled cheese.” Why Your Cheese Stinks and When it’s a Good (and Bad) Thing – Food52
Are You an Under-Eater? 8 Signs You’re Not Eating Enough- Chris Kresser
“While it was clear the intensive diet had made him feel temporarily unwell, we had to wait a few months for the results to arrive back. The results came from Cornell University in the US and the crowdfundedBritish Gut Project, which allows people to get their microbiome tested with the results shared on the web for anyone to analyze. They all told the same story: Tom’s community of gut microbes (called a microbiome) had been devastated.” I made my son eat nothing but McDonald’s for ten days to prove what fast food does to your gut – Quartz
5 Steps to Hacking and Healing Female Desire – Bulletproof Executive
Lemon-Honeybush Iced Tea (AIP) – Petra8Paleo
Slow Cooker Moroccan Chicken – Against All Grain
Warm Porridge with Lemon and Berries – Autoimmune Paleo
Paleo Loaded Mashed Cauliflower, Why Should Potatoes Have All the Fun? – Clean Eating with a Dirty Mind
Fresh Broccoli Salad (AIP/Paleo) – Sweet Potatoes and Social Change
Stacked Beet Salad with Crispy Shallots & Herb-Infused Oil – Heartbeet Kitchen