Link Love (2015-08-29)
9 Simple Tricks to Having Good Conversations – All Groan Up
“At age six, I ran away with my sister to escape the Rwandan massacre. We spent seven years as refugees. What do you want me to do about it? Cry?” Everything Is Yours, Everything Is Not Yours – Medium
Why more companies are looking at alternative management structures, and why you should too – Culture Zine
“Ultimately, the big takeaway that many folks have when you refuse to include content warnings is that the trauma that they have experienced isn’t important to you.
Whether it was a veteran who just barely made it out of combat alive, a black man who was the victim of a vicious hate crime, or a woman who was violently sexually assaulted, what you’re saying to them is that what they’ve been through and what they need to survive is completely and utterly unimportant to you.
And if you aren’t the slightest bit concerned about that message, there’s some deeper reflection that needs to happen.
Because while no one is asking you to fix their struggles for them or hold their hand, what they are asking is that you care enough to write a single sentence on that article or in that syllabus, just enough to give them the chance to opt out or put some self-care in place if they need to.” When You Oppose Trigger Warnings, You’re Really Saying These 8 Things – Everyday Feminism
Reading – a simple habit of successful people (infographic) – Ebook Friendly
“I have come to feel that love is a neutral thing, not an automatic good thing as most seem to assume. It is in and of itself neither good nor bad. There is a selfish love, there is a smothering love, there is a love that seeks to control, a love that does not let go. This is not a good love, it is not a kind love, it is an abusive love. And so I find that I care less about whether someone “loves” another person than I do about how they treat them.
Loving someone does not get a person off the hook for treating them horribly—nor does it soften the treatment. Indeed, it makes it worse.” When Love Is Abuse – Love, Joy, Feminism
Can Reading Make You Happier? – The New Yorker
“But receiving a full scholarship to an Ivy League school, while a transformative experience for the nation’s poorest students, is only the first hurdle. Once on campus, students report feelings of loneliness, alienation, and plummeting self-confidence. Having grant money for tuition and fees and holding down jobs, too, as virtually all of them do, doesn’t translate to having the pocket money to keep up with free-spending peers. And some disadvantaged students feel they don’t have a right to complain to peers or administrators about anything at all; they don’t want to be perceived as ungrateful.” What is it like to be poor at an Ivy League school? – The Boston Globe
Lee Mokobe: A powerful poem about what it feels like to be transgender – TED
“Do you see the problem? Of the ten free skins offered, only three (bandit, barmaid, and baroness) present as female while the other seven present as male. You could argue that this is just one game, or that the ratio isn’t that far off, or that I’m taking games too seriously. I would have to disagree.” What’s wrong with Minecraft’s new pocket edition skins? – Love, Joy, Feminism
These 7 Common Responses to Sexual Violence Are Actually Really Harmful – Here’s What to Say Instead – Everyday Feminism
Beauty & Body Image
A Transgender Woman’s Journey Toward Loving Her Body – Mara Glatzel
“To step away from the agreements of the beauty myth (the idea of perfection that is always just out of reach and seems to stand between you and some measure of worth) isn’t popular. It isn’t easy. It means disagreement. But it is within you to disagree. It might mean turning off your television. It might mean letting go of the notion that everyone will accept you if you just change. It might mean spending some (or a lot) of time with yourself reflecting on what you want your life to be about. Where we spend our energy grows. Spending it solely on this idea of perfection doesn’t suit your higher self. You have more to do in this life than run an un-winable race.
The truth is, we do live in a culture that in it’s present state holds women to standards of beauty that have nothing to do with who we are. There is an oppressive message that without it, we cannot be great. But you don’t have to agree. Letting go of that will likely spin you inward on a journey examining your old ideas about yourself, where they have come from and where you want to go from here. But that journey– that is one worth having. Because unlike the tales of the joys at the end of the pursuit of perfection, there is peace there. It is within you to find it.” How do I stop hating my body? Well love, that’s within you. – Erin Brown
The video-game industry has a dress code – driven by a lack of diversity – The Guardian
“When I was first flirting with minimalism, I couldn’t have been more in to the capsule wardrobe idea: 10 items for 2 weeks? I can do that!! 33 items for 3 months, no problem. This is just what I need to get my wardrobe under control. It’ll be so liberating! Except it wasn’t.” What’s Wrong with Capsule Wardrobes? – The Minimal Closet
Small Changes, Big Difference – The Directrice
Getting Your Decluttering Goals Accomplished – Nourshing Minimalism
“Our brains — already over-worked & exhausted — cannot cope with too many choices. We’re asked if we want small, medium or large; full fat, half & half, soy or almond milk; vanilla, strawberry or chocolate; skinny, bootleg, boyfriend or bellbottom. Actually, being presented with too many options stresses our brain. It gives it too many things to compare & contrast. The problem with being given a lot of choices is that we simply don’t have the time to research or investigate all of them… & then we feel like we have failed.” Happiness Is Simple: Why Too Many Choices Make Us Miserable & 5 Ways to Improve Your Life – Gala Darling
How to Reduce Clutter to Reduce Stress – HGTV
“Yep. There’s almost no limit to what you can do. People can achieve incredible things in 1000 days. People have achieved truly monumental things in 1000 days. If you really think about it, you can reach just about any goal – or at least make a huge amount of progress toward it — in 1000 days.
And yet, in the grand scheme of things, in the lifespan of the average human being, 1000 days is a blip. It’s not that long. You get comfortable, allow your existence to grow staid, and dutifully punch the clock on whatever life you’ve fallen into and those 1000 days just slip right on by. They bleed into each other. “What, it’s Thanksgiving already?”
Furthermore, 1000 days is enough time to accomplish almost anything but not so much time that your entire life is wasted if you fail. You can bounce back and learn from your mistakes. “Well, that didn’t work. What’s next?” Some people bounce back after forty years in prison, and you’re worried about 1000 days?” Take the 1000 Day Challenge! – Mark’s Daily Apple
3 Eye-Opening Lessons for Rethinking Rejection – Psychology Today
“It is absolutely, unequivocally, most definitely YOUR business and YOURS ALONE the food you put into your mouth.
NO ONE gets to make you feel like crap for eating some potato chips and they don’t get to do it for you not eating the cheesecake at the party, either.
I am a healthy eater and I know that in order to live in a world where I can eat a grain free, dairy free, soy free diet without being constantly judged, annoyed, and looked sideways at, I have to give out the same courtesy to others whose eating decisions would not work for me.
You don’t need to apologize, make excuses for yourself, or justify your choices. You are in charge of you.” Your Food is YOUR Business: Sunday Self Love Challenge – Health Love Balance
The Secret to Overcoming PCOS: The Ultimate PCOS Diet – Paleo for Women
“So, over the last year I’ve shifted my own goals, and I’ve also reevaluated the approach to weight loss I use with clients. I’ve been eating at a small calorie surplus and am now hovering right around 170 pounds. I have, essentially, gained 20 pounds in the last year. My current weight puts me just over the ‘healthy weight’ cut off on the BMI scale, I am officially overweight. In the last year, the primary focus of my training and diet has been strength and mass gains. I have gained some lean mass, and I’ve also gained some fat.This is not a failure. I am not planning to ‘cut’ after some arbitrarily approved ‘bulking’ period. In fact, as of right now, I have no plans to lose weight or fat, ever again. I do not wish that all my gains had been muscle. There is nothing wrong with gaining some fat. It does not make me inadequate or undesirable or unhealthy. Even having a BMI that qualifies as overweight doesn’t make me any of those things. My weight is just a number. A data point. It is not a value judgement. Do you want to see the body that a year of eating lots of food and focus on GAINS has produced?” I Am Overweight – Go Kaleo
Batch Cooking 101 – Autoimmune Paleo
“Have you heard about the purported benefits of daily coffee enemas? A collection of recent website articles may have you feeling intrigued by the range of asserted health claims. However, I recommend reading this post before you do one.” Coffee Enemas: What the Science Says versus What You’ve Heard – The Paleo Mom
8 Mistakes I Made When Trying to Change My Body – Coconuts & Kettlebells
“More than 20 years ago I discovered something: When I stopped having dairy, I stopped having period pain. Since then, I’ve worked with thousands of patients and I’ve seen the same thing over and over again. Stopping dairy can dramatically improve period pain, heavy periods,endometriosis, acne, and PMS.
Stopping dairy can improve period problems, but not every time. It depends on the person, and it depends on the type of dairy.” What Dairy Does to Periods – Lara Briden
The Ultimate Anti-Inflammatory Food Index – Good Food Eating
Fermented Elderberry and Honey Soda – Empowered Sustenance
Sarah Wilson’s I Quit Sugar for Life: Paleo Inside-Out Bread – Daily Mail
AIP Paleo Instant Pot Sweet & Sour Mango Chicken Thighs – Paleo Cajun Lady
Pressure Cooker Sweet & Tangy Pork – Grazed and Enthused
Berry-Infused Thai Drinking Vinegar – Autoimmune Paleo
Coconut Milk Yogurt with Strawberry-Balsamic Sauce (Instapot, Dairy-free, AIP) – Flame to Fork