Link Love (2015-10-03)
Honey badger venom resistance: biologists discover the secret – Slate
“The first mistake that I see people make when they’re trying to meet awesome single people outside of the bar and club scene is that they behave like they’re still at a singles bar. Most PUA schools teach various forms of “Day Game” – that is, meeting women out during the day, rather than at night in bars – and nine times out of ten, the only difference between the Day Game and Night Game approaches is the choice of venue. In fact, some of the techniques for “day game” are even more aggressive and off-putting than approaching people in the club. After all, you’re trying to stop a “moving set”1 on the street; first you’ve got to get their attention and get them to stop and talk to you. As a result, you end up with aggressively forward guys who make something as simple as walking down the street or window-shopping into running a gauntlet of pushy douchebags. Similarly, guys who treat an activity club or a convention or MeetUp group as their own sexual salad bar end up creeping out and alienating women and ultimately chasing them out of the group entirely.” How to Pick Up Women in Your Social Circle – Dr NerdLove
Emotional Intelligence: The Social Skills You Weren’t Taught in School – LifeHacker
“I always pay attention to the language that we use when describing our predicaments. Because language shapes the experiences we have. And because most couples don’t have the tools to speak openly and effectively about sex. They are under the influence of the stories they tell themselves. Meaning: if you talk about your about your husband or wife as vanilla, and that has become your prime construct for describing them sexually, then I would say you should start watching the way that your language tries to capture your experience, but instead limits possibilities for change. Some people not only are not open to experiment with different things, but will also make you feel so bad about it that, after a while, you will start questioning your motives, desires and so on. Some of my clients even call themselves “perverts” only because they want to try positions that are common in other couples’ sexual encounters. So the language you use will constrain you.” Talking About Sex With Your Partner – Esther Perel
Jealous of what? Solving polyamory’s jealousy problem – Salon
“You want to know what’s going on here? Farris and others like him claim that their beliefs are based in the Bible, their economic positions flow not from the Bible but rather from conservative politics. After all, it is conservative politics, and not the Bible, that derides Price’s decision as socialism. When they side with conservative business interests, they forget that at his core, Jesus was subversive against the reigning order. Can you see Jesus defending the level of social inequality in our capitalist society?” Michael Farris Doesn’t Read the Bible (Apparently) – Love, Joy, Feminism
“But while I think the general stigma influences the way that Christians (particularly evangelicals) look at mental illness, I think that there has been something more pervasive going on, which is that mental illness is largely seen as a disease of the soul.” The Last Refuge for Faith Healing: Mental Illness – Ex-Communications
“I’m sorry, but no. It doesn’t work that way. You can’t call same-sex marriages “fundamentally sinful” and then act like this is somehow totally separate from the “contempt, disgust, and hatred” so many Americans still feel for gay and lesbian individuals. It’s not. You can’t call same-sex marriages “fundamentally sinful” and then insist that you love gay and lesbian individuals when the consequences of your belief is that they should be deprived of the love and support of a life partner or have their relationships treated as deviant and even evil.” “Some Responsibility”: Evangelicals’ Shifting LGBT Rhetoric – Love, Joy, Feminism
35 Bill Cosby Accusers Tell Their Stories – The Cut – NY Mag
“What’s less acceptable to me is that models of “compassionate capitalism” very likely produce more value by selling the suffering of their ostensible beneficiaries than the value they pass on to them. And that strikes me as unethical.” When Mother Teresa Drives a Ferrari – Backchannel – Medium
The Beginner’s Guide to Reproductive Rights – What They Are and Why We Need Them – Everyday Feminism
“But now let’s turn back to Wilson’s assertion that “it was safer to be a black child in the womb” under slavery than it is today. Wilson’s argument, of course, is that a large number of African American fetuses are aborted today and thus are never born and never live, while African American fetuses under slavery could expect to be born and to live, even if their lives would be difficult. Wilson did not take the time to think through this argument, however. I ran some numbers, and it turns out that a black fetus today has a higher likelihood to come to term and live to adulthood than a black fetus did during slavery. ” No, the African American Womb Is Not More Dangerous Today than During Slavery – Love, Joy, Feminism
8 Ways the Media Upholds White Privilege and Demonizes People of Color – Everyday Feminism
“It was horrible for us to have to end a much-wanted pregnancy, but we made the best of it by donating the fetal tissue for research. We contacted our genetics counselor, who coordinated the donation with a spina bifida research project funded by the National Institutes of Health. We figured that donating the tissue could perhaps spare other families the painful situation we found ourselves in. It was clear to me and my husband that the question of what caused the spina bifida needed to be studied.
I feel fortunate that I had the chance to donate the tissue — I was able to turn my pain into something that could benefit someone else.” Why I Donated Fetal Tissue After My Abortion – TIME
4 Tired Tropes That Perfectly Explain What Misogynoir Is – And How You Can Stop It – Everyday Feminism
Beauty & Body Image
The Definitive Guide to Makeup Shelf Life, According to Bobbi Brown – Elle
“I feel like the emphasis on making your makeup and personal style look “effortless” has ebbed somewhat, but the undercurrent remains. People still worship at the altar of slightly mussed yet eternally chic French girls, and marvel at the slouchy cool of off-duty models. Google “how to effortless style” and you’ll get well over 6 million results, including magazine articles, books, blog posts, and forum entries. We want to look amazing, but somehow want to hide the fact that looking amazing frequently takes gobs of time, money, and effort. And some of us believe that appearing stylish, trend-savvy, and sleek without revealing any of our efforts is essential to appearing stylish, trend-savvy, and sleek at all. Because after all, if we work hard to look good, we must be vain and self-absorbed. But on the flip side, if we don’t work hard enough to look good, we’re deemed frumpy and out-of-touch. So, ya know, lose-lose situation here.” On Effortlessness – Already Pretty
Loose Skin After Weight Loss – Surgery Scars – Refinery29
“Turns out though, none of that was true. Finding clothes that flatter and fit is a challenge for about every woman. Not just because of the possibility of also lamenting their bodies no matter the shape, but because women’s bodies are shaped differently and all clothes don’t work for all bodies. Sizes are wildly different between brands. Everyone has a “fit issue” to deal with. For some it might be height, or inseam, or proportions. Unless you have a tailor, finding that perfect fitting jean is an experiment for all of us. And most poignantly, shopping for clothes is a terrible experience 100% of the time if you hate the body you are trying to dress. It doesn’t matter what end of the size spectrum you are on, if you hate your body, dressing it will be zero fun.” Shopping with my thinner friend – Erin Brown
5 Weird Reasons I Love My Cellulite – Paleo for Women
“When we’re young, we’re taught that certain aspects of our personality are bad or wrong, while others are good and useful. And like most things we learned as kids, we need to unlearn them.
In order to fit in, feel loved, and gain acceptance we disown the “bad” qualities we believe we have and try to express ones that are seen as “good.”
This polarized thinking forces us to see the world in terms of black and white, right and wrong, or good and evil. And in this game of black and white, the only rule is that white must always win.
Unfortunately, the world isn’t that simple. Most things exist on a frustrating spectrum of grey.” How to Help Yourself By Owning Your “Bad” Qualities – Tiny Buddha
30 Things to Start Doing for Yourself – Marc and Angel
“I’ve devoted much time and energy here in my thirties to strengthening my own boundaries. Boundary-setting is naturally easier for some people, but much harder for others. Crawford calls these two types of people ducks and sponges, and her analogy helps me understand why creating savvy boundaries hasn’t been easy for me.
For ducks, other people’s emotions roll right off them, like water off a duck’s bath. These people may be warm, caring, and sensitive, but they still have no trouble distinguishing other people’s emotions from their own.
Not so for sponges. Highly intuitive types often soak up other people’s feelings, experiencing them as their own, and physically registering those emotions. This isn’t a choice; it happens automatically.” Ducks and Sponges – Modern Mrs Darcy
12 Pieces of Buddhist That Will Transform Your Life – The Mind Unleashed
“It’s a process of reconnection: with the world around you, with the seasons, but most of all with the things you love to do, that somehow get so easily lost in the chaos of modern life. Slow living embraces a simple lifestyle full of home-cooked meals, traditional celebrations and rituals and time spent wisely. There will never be enough hours in the day, but we can shape and mould the time we have according to our wishes and desires, and once we can do that, we’re able to live more slowly, mindfully and with care.” 5 Steps to a Slower, Simpler Way of Life – The Frugal Cottage
Chronic Illness & Pain
“There are so many facets to yoga that it can help on a lot of different levels. I think at the most basic level, yoga is a safe way for people with chronic illness to exercise. It is gentle and slow moving, and the pace is adaptable to each individual level. Allowing people living with chronic illness to build up strength and endurance is important for the recovery journey. We all know exercise is important, but people living with chronic illnesses need to find a way to move that won’t make their symptoms worse. Exercises like yoga, chi gong, tai chi, or a gentle pilates class can help condition our bodies in a safe way. People often report feeling relaxed, rather than exhausted, after a yoga class.” (INTERVIEW) Yoga and Chronic Illness – Kayla from Aroga Yoga – Conquering Fear Spiritually
How to make a hospital stay easier – Grace Quantock
“Any time you have successfully made a change, there was a build-up of events that eventually enabled the transformation. Modifications in behaviour, attitude and environment accumulated until the new equilibrium was reached. And sustained.” Guest Post by Petra Chambers-Sinclair – Tipping Points (Why you fall off the autoimmune protocol and how to get back on again) – The Paleo Mom
10 Tools to Start Reversing Your Autoimmune Disease – Dr Will Cole
“4.) Say, “You are so lucky because…”
“You are so lucky because you don’t have to work… You don’t have kids. You are so lucky you don’t have to travel.” Or here is a common one, “You are so lucky to be diagnosed with this at such a young age.” Um… okay.” 8 Ways to Annoy a Friend with a Chronic Illness – Lisa Copen – Huffington Post
The Origin of Illness (the Microbiome) – Petra8Paleo
8 Natural Ways to Prevent a Sunburn – Mark’s Daily Apple
“The vagus nerve starts in the brainstem, just behind the ears. It travels down each side of the neck, across the chest and down through the abdomen. ‘Vagus’ is Latin for ‘wandering’ and indeed this bundle of nerve fibres roves through the body, networking the brain with the stomach and digestive tract, the lungs, heart, spleen, intestines, liver and kidneys, not to mention a range of other nerves that are involved in speech, eye contact, facial expressions and even your ability to tune in to other people’s voices. It is made of thousands and thousands of fibres and 80 per cent of them are sensory, meaning that the vagus nerve reports back to your brain what is going on in your organs.
Operating far below the level of our conscious minds, the vagus nerve is vital for keeping our bodies healthy. It is an essential part of the parasympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for calming organs after the stressed ‘fight-or-flight’ adrenaline response to danger. Not all vagus nerves are the same, however: some people have stronger vagus activity, which means their bodies can relax faster after a stress.” Hacking the nervous system – Mosaic
Go to Sleep: It May Be the Best Way to Avoid Getting Alzheimer’s – TIME
“When you get wounded, your body goes into a resource-guzzling state of emergency—rapidly calling upon your supply of vitamins, minerals, and amino acids in an effort to repair the damage. That means your ability to heal depends largely on the quality of your diet, both before and after your injury occurs. As a result, it’s important to not only maintain a nutrient-dense diet that supports immunity and repair (like a Paleo diet that includes organ meat, seafood, and lots of veggies), but also boost your intake of some key nutrients in the days, weeks, months, and even years following your injury.” Nutritional Support for Injury and Wound Healing – The Paleo Mom
Get Better Sleep: 5 Powerful New Tips from Research – Barking Up the Wrong Tree
“One of the reasons mental health problems can be so difficult and debilitating is that they tend to start when someone is quite young. Adolescence is a key developmental stage of the brain, which is not fully “adult” until the early 20s. Babies, children, and adolescents of all species need more sleep than their adult counterparts, mostly because it is thought to facilitate the growth and maturation of the brain. Those teenage years in humans, however, is when getting enough sleep can seem impossible.” Teenagers, Sleep and Mental Health – Whole9
Beat Toxic Mold in Your Home and Life – Bulletproof Executive
“In the U.S., Tea Party politics refers to a certain strain of Republican conservatism. But in Japan, tea politics are of an altogether different sort: The ritual drinking of this ancient beverage — often thought of as the epitome of Japanese restraint and formality — has long been entwined with issues of power and national identity.” In the Japanese Tea Ceremony, Politics Are Served With Every Cup – The Salt – NPR
“We’ve all been there. You decide you’re finally going to cook up the perfect steak. You’ve brought home your carefully selected grass-fed meat, let it come to room temperature, and seasoned it well. You get your pan good and hot and let ‘er rip. Then, just as it’s starting to sear up to a crusty golden brown, a squirrel invites itself into your house and you spend the next half-hour chasing it out. Oh wait, you haven’t been there? Okay: More realistically, you got drunk on that third glass of wine and ended up with dinner that’s more beef jerky than beef tenderloin.
But don’t head for the trashcan just yet—we called up Ryan Byrd, the culinary director at the Brooklyn-based organic butcher shop Fleisher’s, for a few ideas on how to salvage overcooked beef, chicken, pork, and more.” Creative Ways to Use Overcooked Meat – Bon Appétit
Turmeric Tea: A Liver Detox and Cleanser – Primally Inspired
Slow Cooker Apple & Bacon Pulled Pork Sandwiches with Coleslaw – Stress Free Paleo
Blueberry Cobbler (AIP/Paleo) – Sweet Potatoes and Social Change
Hunger Control Smoothie (AIP) – Nutrition Is Medicine
Lettuce Soup (aka the Most Amazing Soup Ever) – The Paleo Mom
Lemon Ginger Avo Mayo – Enjoying This Journey