Link Love (2015-10-11)

Thought-provoking

For me, pursuing a book deal felt like exchanging money for the next two years of life.
Instead of poking around the back roads of Ontario, I’d be chained to my laptop. Instead of roller skating date nights or cabin weekends or weird new recipes, I’d live in my inbox.  Instead of writing posts about how to trick people into thinking you’ve made an effort with your appearance, I’d be chasing down photo release forms.
I didn’t want that. I don’t want that.” In Which I Choose My Life Over a Book Deal – Yes and Yes

Bring Back Handwriting – LifeHacker

“For years now, you have conditioned your mind and body. You’re right that your brain’s wiring has come to understand porn as a quick and predictable means to arousal. As Donald Hebb says, “neurons that fire together are wired together.” This overstimulation (getting what you want, when you want, and how you want it) produces changes in the way neurons fire and in the dopamine reward circuitry, or pleasure circuitry, that paradoxically makes you less responsive to pleasure.” Ask Esther Perel: Porn – InsideHook

Go tell the boss: let me work less and I’ll produce more – The Guardian

“However, it says a lot that you’re willing to take ownership of this. Being willing to actually put all of this out there and take ownership of it—acknowledging that it’s irrational, that it’s self-reinforcing and self-imposed—is important. A lot of people will externalize their self-loathing and put the blame on others. Externalizing your problems removes your locus of control—it puts your life in the hands of others. This is a mistake. People can hurt you, but they can’t make you do or feel ways unless you allow them to. As a wise person once told me: pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional. As hard as it can be—and it is hard, I won’t lie to you about that—you alone have the final say in how you feel about things, if you’re willing to take it.” Help, I’m Hopeless With Women and I Hate Myself – Ask Dr NerdLove

The Definition of True Love – Jayson Gaddis

Religion

“As I grew, the messages and experiences compiled to form a complete picture in my mind which informed me about the way to approach and think about sexuality. I began to think of sex in a strange and often paradoxical way: On one hand, when explicitly discussed, they said sex is a “gift from God.. It was described as a beautiful experience that connects you to your spouse physically, emotionally, and spiritually. They often referenced the Song of Solomon to illustrate how erotic sex can be, and how beautiful is intimacy when sanctified by God. On the other hand, I was taught that there is a “dark side” to sex. Anything outside of the biblically defined parameters of pure, marital, God condoned sex placed you somewhere on a very slippery slope that ultimately lead to destruction and depravity. These activities included: premarital sex, homosexuality, pornography, masturbation, immodesty, thinking about sex too much (lust), as well as a myriad of other deviant sexual practices (I guess barn animals are next).” Body Shame 101: Lies the Church Told Me About My Own Sexuality – Godless in Dixie

Ariel Bradley: Christian Homeschooler, ISIS Bride – Love, Joy, Feminism

Equality

“Donald Trump introduced his presidential campaign to the world with a slur against Mexican immigrants, accusing them of being “rapists” and bringing crime into the country.
“I mean somebody’s doing it!… Who’s doing the raping?” Donald Trump said, when asked to defend his characterization.
It was an unfortunate turn of phrase for Trump—in more ways than one. Not only does the current frontrunner for the Republican presidential nomination have a history of controversial remarks about sexual assault, but as it turns out, his ex-wife Ivana Trump once used “rape” to describe an incident between them in 1989. She later said she felt “violated” by the experience.” Ex-Wife: Donald Trump Made Me Feel ‘Violated’ During Sex – The Daily Beast

It’s Not Just Kylie: 7 Reasons Why White People Should Not Wear Black Hairstyles – Everyday Feminism

“My heart sank a little, because I always knew this line of questioning would come someday, and I also knew the chances of my child being invited to a sleepover were slim to none. My son’s friends have always been girls, and co-ed sleepovers for kids are typically frowned upon by society — or at least by the conservative, image-conscious part of South Orange County in which we live.” Should I Let My Gender-Creative Son Have a Co-Ed Sleepover? – Yahoo Parenting

Trump thinks immigrants are rapists. What about American men? – Jessica Valenti – The Guardian

“Well, fine. If retiring an existing figure is so verboten, how about adding a female figure to every bill? Anything less than either retiring an existing figure or adding a female figure to every bill (or at least several of them) feels weird to me. If they’re going to deal with the sexism inherent to having honoring only male figures on U.S. currency, they should actually, you know, deal with it. Adding a female figure but forcing her to share a bill when none of the existing male figures are required to do so is not enough.” Why Adding a Woman to the $10 Bill Isn’t Enough – Love, Joy, Feminism

Basic Income? Yes! Bold Ideas About Fixing Inequality – Lynn Parramore – Huffington Post

Inspirational

“There’s no perfect version of your life, of you. There’s no perfect thing you should be doing now, no perfect sequence of things you should be doing today.
There’s just what this moment is … including your dissatisfaction with this moment and yourself (and other people). This dissatisfaction is part of the moment you’re stuck with.
So we can be dissatisfied with this moment, or practice being satisfied with it.” Worried About What You’re Not Doing – Zen Habits

10 Choices That Will Guide You to a Regret-Free Life – Danielle Dowling

“Uniqueness is a product of authenticity. Be authentic, and you will never need to worry about your work’s uniqueness. Period.
Share your real ideas. Share the stories from your journey; they are unique when you tell the truth about them. Notice the wispy and whispering insights that pop up inside you, especially the ones that seem a little odd at first. Stalk the subjects of your real curiosity. Bring all your strengths to the table; you have a singular set.” But it’s not unique… Tara Sophia Mohr

How to Deal With Negative People at Work Who Always Complain – The Muse

Chronic Pain & Illness

Top 5 Remedies for Pain Relief – Meghan Telpner

“In terms of pain, it is important that you listen to music that you already know and like. When you’re in pain, you need a familiar setting in which you can navigate, and if you can do that with music you know and like.” Music can relieve chronic pain – ScienceNordic

Tips for Those Who Have Difficulty Showering – Spoon Shares

“It could explain the Chronic Fatigue Initiatives pathogen study results. It could show how an infection could cause chronic fatigue syndrome, and then seemingly disappear. It integrates two of the biggest players in ME/CFS; the autonomic nervous system and the immune system. It focuses on the herpesviruses. It includes sensory nerves, an increasingly hot topic in ME/CFS/FM, and it follows an established model of fibromyalgia.
light bult
If it’s correct VanElzakker’s hypothesis could explain a lot about chronic fatigue syndrome
It’s the Vagus Nerve Infection Hypothesis (VNIH) for chronic fatigue syndrome, and it could change how this disorder is viewed, researched and treated.” One Theory to Explain Them All? The Vagus Nerve Infection Hypothesis for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome – Simmaron Research

Seven Keys to Avoid Burnout for Women in Chronic Illness Recovery – Women’s Wellness Circle

Health

Healthy Habit Challenge #3 – Love Your Rotator Cuff for Happier Shoulders – Movement Revolution

“If you have one of the many chronic health problems that people suffer from today—such as IBS, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, and autoimmune disease—you will likely be given a drug to manage your symptoms and not much else. The key to successfully treating these conditions, however, is addressing their underlying cause. This is the promise of functional and evolutionary medicine.” Why We Get Sick and How to Get Well – Chris Kresser

Shoes: The Summer List – Katy Says

“Many times, people demand proof without really wanting any; they assume it’s all imaginary just-so stories. “Where are the studies?” has become a retort rather than a legitimate query.
Well, it’s time to retire it. With 22 paleo diet papers and counting, the scientific research is quickly accumulating — and it’s quite positive. In last Sunday’s Weekend Link Love, I shared a list of (most of) the available paleo diet studies. Today, I thought I’d summarize some of these studies for you. Not everyone can be expected to have access to, read, and be able to interpret all of the research that is published. But there’s some really interesting stuff in there that I think you might benefit from knowing (and passing along to interested parties who ask). But be sure to have a look for yourself. Don’t just take my word for it.” Is the Paleo Diet Supported by Scientific Research? – Mark’s Daily Apple

Hypothalamic Amenorrhea Symptoms and Causes – Paleo for Women

“Twenty minutes of yoga is better for boosting brain activity than vigorous exercise for the same amount of time, a study has found.” Yoga better for your brain than exercise, study finds – Telegraph

5 Digestion Mistakes You May Be Making – Autoimmune Paleo

Foodie

Home-made Extracts – Akshayapaatram

“One secret to a long life may be the simple daily ritual of tea.
We’ve told you how Okinawans — who are known to have more than a few centenarians among them — enjoy jasmine-infused tea.
And if you’re looking to incorporate this fragrant aroma with a bit of creamy indulgence, pastry chef Naomi Gallego, of the Park Hyatt Hotel in Washington, D.C., has you covered.” Tea-Infused Sweets: Chocolate + Jasmine Tea Is A Match Made in Heaven – The Salt

A Renaissance painting reveals how breeding changed watermelons – Vox

Recipes

Ginger Hibiscus Lemonade – Strictly Delicious

Hawaiian Salmon – Autoimmune Paleo

AIP Paleo Rhubarb BBQ Sauce (Nightshade-Free) – Beyond the Bite

Paleo Eggnog Smoothie Recipe – Grass Fed Girl

Blueberry Crumble Tart – Paleo Pumpkin

Resistant Starch Potato Salad – Mark’s Daily Apple

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