Link Love (2015-11-29)

Thought-provoking

“And now, weak, short of breath, my once-firm muscles melted away by cancer, I find my thoughts, increasingly, not on the supernatural or spiritual, but on what is meant by living a good and worthwhile life – achieving a sense of peace within oneself. I find my thoughts drifting to the Sabbath, the day of rest, the seventh day of the week, and perhaps the seventh day of one’s life as well, when one feel that one’s work is done, and one may, in good conscience, rest.” Oliver Sacks: Sabbath – The NY Times

9 Words About Reading That Every Book Nerd Needs to Know, Because “Bibliophile” Just Isn’t Enough – Bustle

“But for as much as we dread small talk and wish we could just skip it entirely, it’s actually a necessary part of socializing. Small talk isn’t space filler, it’s social bonding; it’s the building of relationships between people that allows us to actually bridge the gap between the social space and exchanging supposedly “meaningful” talk. By making small talk, we set ourselves up to be able to ask the “big” questions… but that doesn’t mean that small talk is useless otherwise. In fact, making more small talk actually makes people – even introverts – happier. Knowing how to make small talk helps break us out of a bubble of isolation and makes us feel more connected to the people around us. It’s simply a matter of knowing how.” How to Make Small Talk (for People Who Hate Small Talk) – Dr NerdLove

Not Being an Asshole is Good for Business – Elephant Journal

Equality

“After establishing a connection with the person you are helping, — and this is up to you and your level of advocacy — say no. Say no, loudly, clearly, and firmly.
We don’t always set boundaries in our culture, and people think a “maybe” means “yes” and a “no” means “maybe.” Speak in your yoga voice or your dog-training voice. It’s not yelling, but it’s firm, it’s loud, it’s clear, and it’s direct. (Yoga teacher training and watching friends who are parents has taught me a lot about being firm and direct with your voice.)
“Sir/Mister/Ma’am — This is not okay. We’d like you to stop.”
“This is not okay. You need to stop.”
Repeat yourself if necessary. It’s okay for someone to hear the word NO. Sometimes it takes a few tries to have someone hear you.” What to Do When You See Someone Being Harassed – Sarah K Peck

“Defunding Planned Parenthood makes even less sense. Federal law prohibits the use of public money for elective abortions, by Planned Parenthood or anyone else. Instead, these funds go to Planned Parenthood’s contraceptive services. Planned Parenthood is the world’s leading provider of birth control. By undercutting this work, Republicans are threatening to cause an increase in the number of unintended pregnancies. And that, in turn, would lead to more abortions.” Contraception, abortion, and Planned Parenthood debate: Long-acting birth control is most effective at preventing unplanned pregnancies – Slate

Relationships

“I think it’s easy for most of us to react calmly to children’s emotional threats. We know that they love us; we know they don’t really mean it, or at least they only mean it in the moment; and we know they’re just hungry, tired, or upset about something that happened at school that day. With our adorable children, it’s relatively easy for us to be the warm and mature ones—the guides, the sages, the givers of unconditional love.
So why is it so hard to do this when an adult pulls a grown-up version of the same maneuver: the silent treatment, the passive-aggressive jab, or the aggressive-aggressive interrogation? Might it be possible, in the face of such insults, to treat our fellow grown-ups with the same loving constancy that we give (most of the time) our offspring?” 5 Practices for Cultivating More Loving Relationships – Quiet Revolution

Statistics Could Do More for Your Sex Life Than ‘Female Viagra’ – FiveThirtyEight

“There are three tendencies that will pull you into a gaslighting exchange. These tendencies are the need to be right, the need to be understood, and the need for approval.
Additionally, certain traits – such as being empathic, being a caretaker, needing to see your partner in a positive light, and being a “people pleaser” – might make you more susceptible.
But I would strongly urge you to not go in and try to crush these wonderful things about you.
You care strongly about your ideas, and about other people. You want to understand and be understood. You care about your effect on other people, and you’re willing to change to accommodate the people around you.
And ironically, your gaslighter probably told you that you were selfish and cruel and oblivious. ” 10 Things I’ve Learned About Gaslighting As An Abuse Tactic – Everyday Feminism

Clear Out the Negative Energy in Your Relationships (Without Completely Stepping Away) – Elephant Journal

“The Gottmans go on to explain that the hardest time to turn toward a bid is when you’re stressed or fighting. But it’s during these times that it’s especially important to do exactly that. By extending yourself, you’re flexing the muscle of kindness – and kindness is the major predictor of a long-lasting relationship.” The tiny thing that predicts the success of any relationship – Daily Life

Inspirational

“And yet, I don’t feel all my feelings. Parts of my emotional life feel numb. For a long time, like many people, expressing anger was extremely difficult for me.
We’re all like this, whether we think of ourselves as sensitive and emotional or logical and rational. Our emotional lives are a patchwork made up of beliefs we have internalized and things that we have seen modeled.
We are never taught how to relate to our emotions, and so, we must make our own way through.” Your Feelings Have Messages for You (So Stop Ignoring Them) – Tiny Buddha

9 beautiful releasing rituals that will help you let go – The Freedom Experiment

Chronic Pain & Illness

“Often, when I go to the doctor and dutifully recite my list of troubling symptoms, they immediately respond with a reminder that my disease is progressive and has no treatment. That knowledge hasn’t slipped my mind, and (shockingly!) I don’t go to the doctor for that reminder.” 5 Things I Wish My Doctor Knew About Having an Invisible Illness – Ravishly

“2. Compassion
Living with an invisible illness has taught you that not all suffering is visible or obvious.
You don’t judge when the man doesn’t offer you his seat on the train, because perhaps, despite appearances, he has Rheumatoid Arthritis and desperately needs to sit down.
You smile and send the woman who asks to jump the line in the ladies restroom forward, as despite appearances you know that she might have an IBD, and her need for the bathroom is desperate.
You don’t comment when a person walks from their car in the disabled parking space, because you know that despite the fact she is seemingly walking well now, her chronic fatigue means that she will struggle to make it back to her car later.
That’s compassion.” The Brighter Side of Living With Chronic Illness: 6 Amazing Things You Know Better than Most – Lottie V. Ryan – Huffington Post

Health

5 Best and Worst Foods for “Skinflammation” – Dr Trevor Cates

“Ontario Works does not cover the dental repair she needed. She was sent home with a prescription for pain killers. If she’d had adequate income support, she could have provided a down-payment and afforded the monthly dental bills. She could have started eating again. Instead, she was given pills when she needed income to pay for dental work.” A basic income guarantee may be the best medicine – Upstream

Natural Ways to Prevent & Fight Drug Resistant Head Lice – Wellness Mama

“But, don’t get scared over to vegetarianism just yet! When we take a closer look at these studies, we see something extraordinarily interesting: the link between meat and cancer tends to disappear once the studies adjust for vegetable intake. Even more exciting, when we examine the mechanistic links between meat and cancer, it turns out that many of the harmful (yes, legitimately harmful!) components of meat are counteracted by protective compounds in plant foods.
Said more simply: YES, meat does cause cancer! …IF you aren’t eating your veggies!” The Link Between Meat and Cancer – The Paleo Mom

5 Health Benefits of Natural Vanilla – Dr Jockers

Foodie

The Best Way to Organize Your Freezer – The Kitchn

Recipes

Sour Pickles – Nourished Kitchen

An Autoimmune Protocol Meal Plan – Petra8Paleo

5 Maca Energy Bar Recipes – Mommypotamus

Guest Post: Easy Braised Cabbage by Don’t Eat the Spatula (Paleo/AIP) – The Whole Life Balance

Smoked Salmon Omelet – A Clean Plate

Sesame Teriyaki Chicken Wings – Mark’s Daily Apple

Stuffed Pineapple – Autoimmune Paleo

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