Link Love (2016-02-06)
An Emotional Balance Sheet Can Guide Hard-to-Quantify Financial Choices – NY Times
“We are not facing a future without work. We are facing a future without jobs.
There is a huge difference between the two, and we must start seeing the difference, and making the difference more clear to each other. A job is what you are paid to do. It can either enable you to do work that you enjoy, or it can compensate you for doing work that you do not at all enjoy. It can also even involve a whole lot of work or a complete lack of any work. The most important thing about a job is that we trade our time for monetary compensation.
Work is different. Work is better defined in the scientific sense, as the application of a force over some distance (W = F d). If we think about it this way, it’s easier to see how money has nothing whatsoever to do with work. It’s not part of the equation at all. Neither is anything involving value, worth, or meaning. Work can be necessaryor entirely unnecessary. Work can be valuable or worthless. Work can be meaningful or empty. But all work is doing something instead of nothing, and no one can say the same thing about jobs.” A Future Without Jobs Does Not Equal a Future Without Work – Huffington Post
56 delightful Victorian slang terms you should be using – The Week
“This resentment is also at the heart of a lot of hating on “hipsters.” People see others whom they perceive to have lives that are easier, cooler, or more fun than theirs, and instead of questioning the society that gave them their lot, they demand conformity and misery out of others.
But why? The false (but not without a grain of truth!) intimation that hipsters are all white kids who are subsidized by their rich parents legitimizes this position, but even if it were accurate it wouldn’t make the attitude of contempt any more sensible. For even if creative and enjoyable lives are only accessible to the privileged, that’s not a damning fact about them so much as it is an indictment of a society that has so much wealth and yet only allows a select few to take advantage of it, while others are forced to waste their lives chained to their useless jobs and bloated mortgages.
The rage directed at the figure of “a hipster on food stamps” is only intelligible in terms of the rotted ideological foundation that supports it: an ideology that simultaneously glorifies the suffering of the exploited and vilifies those among the dispossessed who are deemed to be insufficiently hardworking or self-reliant. It treats some activities (making art) as worthless and parasitic, and others (working temp jobs) as totems of “resourcefulness” and “self-reliance,” without any apparent justification.” Resenting Hipsters – Jacobin
4 Lies ‘Nice Guys’, Pickup Artists, and Everyday Misogynists Tell You About Women – And Why They Hurt Us All – Everyday Feminism
I love Buffer, have been using it for years. From the beginning I have had a lot of respect for their values – and how they are guiding their policies and culture. Being open about their mistakes only increase my respect and admiration: 5 Times We Failed at Diversity (and How We Fixed It) – Buffer
Still Think White Privilege Isn’t Real? These 6 Lessons Will Erase All Doubt – Everyday Feminism
“Politeness is simply giving respect to another person’s wishes, particularly when doing so doesn’t affect you in any material way. One recent example is the matter of personal pronouns. As trans people become more accepted and more people challenge the notion of gender binaries, many people have started to express how they prefer to be referred to. One person may be fine with being called “he” or “him”, while another would prefer the gender neutral “they” or even “xie”. Referring to a trans woman as “he” or calling them by their birth name (known as“deadnaming”) is considered to be incredibly insulting – and yet people make it a point of prideto ignore a trans or genderqueer person’s preferences. This is quintessential asshole behavior; someone is going out of their way to be a dick to another person because… well, because fuck them, that’s why. When someone – a certain disgraced game developer, for example – makes a point of refusing to refer to a trans person by their preferred pronouns because “they haven’t earned the ‘privilege’”, they’re being an asshole just for the sake of being an asshole.
It’s similar to that one oh-so-edgy “friend” who, when you ask them to stop doing something, will either do it one more time “as a goof” or even double down for the LOLz of it all. It’s not clever, it’s not funny. It’s just being an asshole.
Even if you personally find the idea of preferred pronouns ridiculous and think that gender non-compliant people are fooling themselves, calling somebody by the name and pronoun they prefer costs you precisely no effort. It has all the effect on your life as a homeless person declaring themselves the Emperor of the United States – none. Just because something isn’t important to you, doesn’t make it not important to somebody else. Respecting somebody’s wishes is a kindness you can do with literally no effort on your part.” A Gentleman’s Guide to Not Being an Asshole – Dr NerdLove
Relationships & Sex
“Whether Nice Guy Syndrome™ manifests as arguing with a woman on the way home from a date, touching her without her permission, or committing a violent crime, it dehumanizes women.
In a “nice guy’s” world, women are merely rewards for decent behavior, and the standards for decent behavior are very low.
One tell-tale sign that someone’s not a nice guy is that he tries to use his “nice guy” status as leverage to get what he wants or evidence that he deserves it. He may simply complain about a dearth of messages in his OKCupid inbox, but he could also be capable of worse.
I learned this the hard way. I didn’t feel empowered to stand up to “nice guys” because I felt guilty for hurting their feelings. But they don’t deserve our guilt.” 7 Lies ‘Nice Guys’ Will Tell You (And Why You Shouldn’t Believe Them) – Everyday Feminism
“If we do not know how to transform and heal the wounds in ourselves, we are going to transmit them to our children and grandchildren.” — Thich Nhat Hanh
Daddy Jekyll, Daddy Hyde: Transforming patterns of verbal abuse for the sake of our children – Philly Voice
“When did it become okay to joke about lying to children? Make no mistake, that is what this comic is talking about. What does it say about us, as a society, that we find a comic that makes light of and promotes lying to children funny? Do we really think that we as a society can joke about lying to children and then expect them to trust us? If we want a relationship of mutual trust and respect with our children, we need to prove ourselves worth of trust and respect.” Lying to Children Is Not a “Joke” – Love, Joy, Feminism
““When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” ~Maya Angelou
I remember first hearing these words in my early twenties. I heard them. I just didn’t follow them. Hence, I brought myself a whole lot of painful lessons and needless suffering because I always wanted to give people a second chance, and a third, and a fourth … You get the picture.
I was the girl who always saw the “potential” in people. The person they “could” be, with a little love and nurturing from yours truly. I considered myself to be one of the most loving, loyal, and big-hearted people out there. And besides, there were very few things I truly wanted that I went after and didn’t get.
I suffered many disappointments and even more heartbreaks because of this, both in friendships and romantic relationships.
I expected people to change just because I thought they should be or feel a certain way. But at that point in my spiritual journey, I hadn’t yet learned that everyone is on their own path, and sometimes their soul just isn’t in alignment with yours.” When Someone Shows You Who They Are, Believe Them – Tiny Buddha
There’s Nothing Wrong With You. You’re an Introvert. – Brenda Knowles
“Being an empath is when you are affected by other people’s energies, and have an innate ability to intuitively feel and perceive others. Your life is unconsciously influenced by others’ desires, wishes, thoughts, and moods. Being an empath is much more than being highly sensitive and it’s not just limited to emotions. Empaths can perceive physical sensitivities and spiritual urges, as well as just knowing the motivations and intentions of other people. You either are an empath or you aren’t. It’s not a trait that is learned. You are always open, so to speak, to process other people’s feelings and energy, which means that you really feel, and in many cases take on the emotions of others. Many empaths experience things like chronic fatigue, environmental sensitivities, or unexplained aches and pains daily. These are all things that are more likely to be contributed to outside influences and not so much yourself at all. Essentially you are walking around in this world with all of the accumulated karma, emotions, and energy from others.” 30 traits of an Empath (How to Know if You’re an Empath) – The Mind Unleashed
7 Reasons We Buy Things We Don’t Need (and how to avoid them) – Simplicity Relished
“I’d wager a guess that Beyoncé (or Oprah or Taylor) spends 0-1 of her 24 hours managing her day-to-day life. In fact, if you added up the hours that Beyoncé’s team puts in every day – promoting her, photographing her, styling her, cooking for her – girl probably has 200+ hours in her day. At a minimum.
So I guess what I’m saying is, when you see that image float across your internet life, instead of doubling down on your workload or feeling like a failure, go ahead and reinterpret it.” How to feel unproductive and worthless in one easy step! – Sarah Von Bargen
Chronic Illness & Pain
Day 1: 31 Days to a Better CFS Life – 3 Myths of Acceptance that Hold Us Back – Get Up and Go Guru
“I hope that I will not feel that the way I do right now for the rest of my life. I work hard every day to keep finding ways to support and manage my body. I believe that I can continue to keep learning and experimenting to achieve this goal. But believing that “cure” or total domination is entirely in my hands actually made things worse when I would have a flare up. There are things that are beyond our control, and even now when I have a bad day my brain still tells me “you’re not eating the right thing! You’re doing something wrong!” I have never blamed myself for my illnesses, but part of me now (despite knowing better) still blames myself for not curing myself for something that ultimately (as of yet…come on science!) cannot be cured.” Desperation, “Miracle Cures” & Hope in Chronic Illness – Natasha Lipman
Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome – Dysautonomia International
“Exercise and pain come hand in hand right?
Wrong (of course!), exercise may well come with some pain but it doesn’t have to if you listen to your body. Fear of pain is, sadly, no excuse to avoid exercise. Exercise is essential for your well being, and though I do not encourage you to work through pain, you will need to find some way to move, and that may come with some discomfort. If you’re like me and do NOT have a natural affinity for exercise you’ll think this is shitty, and you would be right, it is shitty, or at least I used to think so.
Shitty or not though you have got to move your body in some way, some how, and frankly, whatever is wrong with you is no excuse.” The Zen of Exercising without Pain – Who’s That Lady
9 Things I Have Learned Through 20 Years of Chronic Illness – Huffington Post
9 Echinacea Benefits from Cold to Cancer – Dr Axe
“Now, the British National Health Service has gone as far as to recommend healthy women with low-risk pregnancies are better off out of the hospital, giving birth at home or at a midwife-led birthing center. American obstetrician Dr. Neel Shah, a professor at Harvard Medical School, set out last spring to rebut that counsel in the pages of the New England Journal of Medicine. Instead, his article ultimately argued that giving birth outside a hospital with a midwife could be safer and much cheaper for many American women, too.” Call (back) the Midwife – The Boston Globe
The Primal Laws: 7 More Honorable Mentions – Mark’s Daily Apple
“But, there’s still more to the story! Often, arguments for the human species being truly herbivorous or truly carnivorous are based on analyses of other primates’ diets, comparative anatomy, and other features that might help clarify our taxonomy (e.g., teeth and length of digestive tract). After all, just because we choose to eat both plants and animals doesn’t mean that’s what we’re biologically suited for. We might choose to eat Krispy Kreme donuts when they’re sitting on the counter, too, but that doesn’t make them good for us!
So, in this post, we’ll be looking at the anatomical and physiological arguments for what humans are best suited to eat, and seeing what we can (or can’t!) conclude from them.” The Diet We’re Meant to Eat, Part 2: Physiological & Biological Evidence – The Paleo Mom
Yoga Therapy for Recovering Addicts: Seane Corn Interviews Nikki Myers – Yoga Journal
“I enjoy a nice cup of tea. There’s something special in the ritual of it—boiling the kettle, steeping the leaves and savoring each sip. Many types of tea have wonderful properties that can aid in digestion, metabolism and even disease prevention.
But, if you are a tea drinker, you should know that there’s a very good chance your favorite brand of tea is laced with pesticides, GMOs, artificial ingredients and toxic chemicals.
You might be shocked to learn that not only are many teas heavily sprayed with pesticides, but that most tea isn’t even washed before it is put into bags. So, all of those pesticides go directly in your cup.” Is Your Tea Making You Sick? – Saving Dinner
Most common heart attack signs in men and women – Heart Sisters
Great Stew: Anyone Can Make It – The Radical Homemaker
AIP / Paleo Immune Boosting Green Detox Smoothie – A Squirrel in the Kitchen
Crunchy Paleo Egg Roll Recipe – Paleo Hacks
Easy Apple Fritters – Mommypotamus
Lavender Sage Breakfast Sausage AIP – Balancing BRCA
Sweet potato gnocchi – Paleo Pumpkin
New & Old on the Blog:
Pear & Crystallized Ginger Gingerbread (Paleo, Gluten Free, Dairy Free)
How to Self-Promote Without Being a Jerk by Bruce Kasanoff