Link Love (2016-02-09)
6 Unusual Habits of Exceptionally Creative People – Entrepreneur
“Authenticity, at its core, is being your true, honest self. It’s being comfortable not just with who you truly are – which isn’t necessarily the same as who you think you are – but also being willing to be that person to the best of your ability.
The trick is not to mistake being authentic for shitting on yourself or to use it as an excuse for bad behavior.
For example, we tend to see someone being negative as being more truthful. We’re used to the concept of flattering lies, blowing smoke up people’s asses and inflating our metaphorical resumes. As a result, someone being negative can be read as though they’re dropping the pretense and saying how they “really” feel. It’s cynical as hell, but it feels more authentic. Somebody who talks about how awful they are is “just being honest”, right? After all, it’s not like you get bonus points for admitting that you’re the worst. But being down on yourselfisn’t authenticity; it’s as much of a mask as pretending you’re the biggest thing since World War III. It just feels more “true” because our brains have a natural negativity bias, reacting more strongly to negative stimuli than positive ones. It’s an illusion, a mirage, a lie that we don’t realize is a lie. Being needlessly negative is a way of avoiding taking responsibility and being your true self; if you’re a bad person, then in a perverse way you’re absolved from taking ownership of your life. You’re uniquely fucked by the universe and thus there’s no point in trying to do better.
Acknowledging your weaknesses and becoming comfortable with them is authenticity. Defining yourself by them and refusing to try to address them, on the other hand, is not. Of course, false modesty isn’t authentic either; if you want to be authentic, you have to be willing to own and be comfortable with your strengths too.” The Value of Authenticity – Dr NerdLove
“AS A CATHOLIC lapsed these past three decades, I am sometimes irritated by a-la-carte Catholics.
I feel that whether you obey its every rule – as the church demands – or pick and choose the bits you like – as most Irish Catholics do – you remain a member of an organisation which has caused generations of untold harm.
By staying Catholic I feel liberals hypocritically give tacit approval to behaviour and attitudes they find offensive.” ‘My religion lapsed three decades ago, but I am irritated by a-la-carte Catholics’ – The Journal
“We’d like to think of “cool” as connotative of something progressive, even radical. But Cool Girls are neither, at least not precisely. We love them because they seem to offer an alternative to the polished, performative femininity visible in both our stars and our peers. Because they “don’t give a shit”; because they don’t truck with the regulations and rules of dating and mean-girling that prove so infuriating. But to be “cool” is to tread a fine line between something different, something almost masculine, but never anything too masculine, or assertive, or independent. The Cool Girl can talk about poop, and video games, and eating Doritos, because those things are ultimately benign: Even with her short hair, Jennifer Lawrence still has the body and the face and the wardrobe that conforms to dominant beauty ideals.
We say we want to be Jennifer Lawrence’s BFF, but what does that mean? Like Bow, and Lombard, and early Fonda, she’d be so incredibly fun. But would she challenge us to think differently about ourselves or the world? And if — or when — she does, will we still like her so much?
We dispose of even our most beloved female stars with startling swiftness, changing celebrity best friends the way 7-year-olds switch real ones. The Cool Girl will stay safe, but what does our swift embrace and rejection of its proxies communicate about our standards for women in the actual world?” Jennifer Lawrence and the History of Cool Girls – BuzzFeed
Justice Minister Says Amal Clooney Only Given Top Cases ‘Because of Husband George Clooney’ – Huffinton Post
“His gender isn’t up to me. It’s up to him.
On this unique parenting journey, I believe that:
If your heart beats wholeheartedly, lovingly and accepting-ly for a child;
If you don’t have religion or the fear of what other people will think clouding your judgment; and
If you would love your child the same if they were cisgender, transgender or gender nonconforming.
Then you should go with your gut.
If you can’t quite tell what your gut thinks, but your child is happy, healthy and thriving, give it some time.
If your child is consistently insistent that their sex and gender don’t match up or shows signs of distress (like depression, anxiety, behavior issues, self harm, self mutilation, etc.) seek out help from professionals. I’d start with a gender therapist.” Trust Your Mom Gut – Raising My Rainbow
20 Facts About Living in Poverty That Rich People Never Have to Think About – Everyday Feminism
“Building on her experiences, Quinn co-founded Crash Override Network, an online anti-harassment task force that provides free counseling and other assistance to other victims of abuse. And while it may be small comfort to victims, she said, it’s clear that for many abusers, harassment is a phase they eventually grow out of. Prior to Gamergate, Quinn said, she interviewed 300 self-identified former trolls to ask what made them stop. “Almost every single time, more often than not, they expressed that someone they were close to, respected, or looked up to said that wasn’t cool,” she said. “The social network supporting this kind of feeding frenzy was no longer reinforced.” How Gamergate’s earliest target came to empathize with her abusers – The Verge
Beauty & Body Image
“There’s another side to this, too. Remember Williams’ point that while society accepts girls who wear pants, it doesn’t accept boys who wear dresses? When we segregate the girls’ options we keep boys from trying those things too and communicate to them that “girl” things are things to be avoided—and that the feminine is somehow less than or beneath them. If we focus instead on having a range of options that reflect the breadth of all children’s interests, and avoid packaging them in a way that labels them “for boys” or “for girls,” we can encourage all children to express themselves authentically without pushing them into gender-labeled options.” What’s a Girl to Do? – Love, Joy, Feminism
Fashion chain H&M offers $1m recycling prize for reusable clothing – The Guardian‘
“Every year, thousands of us across the UK donate our used clothing to charity – many in the belief that it will be given to those in need or sold in High Street charity shops to raise funds. But a new book has revealed that most of what we hand over actually ends up getting shipped abroad – part of a £2.8bn ($4.3bn) second-hand garment trade that spans the globe. We investigate the journey of our cast-offs and begin to follow one set of garments from donation to their eventual destination.” Where do your old clothes go? – BBC
24 beautiful true cartoons that capture what it’s like being an introvert and INFJ – Introvert, Dear
“A thought, opinion or preference is rooted in you, your perceptions and your relationship to yourself and the world around you.
Something becomes a judgment when you take those thoughts, opinions and preferences and assign an inherent value to it.” How to Keep Our Opinion & Drop the Judgements – Elephant Journal
Confessions and Lessons from a Former Approval Addict – Tiny Buddha
“Any self-aware perfectionist will admit to moments when it has brought pain to others. Perfectionism often sets unspoken expectations that our friends and loved ones (unknowingly) have to follow. Once unmet, those expectations become footholds for grudges that can last a long time– tick marks of wrongdoing unforgiven and unforgotten. I want to strive for deep friendship, but not perfectionism. Imperfect human beings like you and me must learn to love each other.” Is Perfectionism Bad? 5 reasons why it’s stealing your joy – Simplicity Relished
5 Ways to Stop Worrying About What Everyone Thinks of You – Marc and Angel
“Well, the great thing about focusing on the body is that not only does it tell us how the body feels health-wise but it also helps us to be more aware of our emotions. We can focus more on ourselves rather than other people.” What Every People-Pleaser Needs to Realize About Themselves – Huffington Post
Traits of an Empath & How to Recognize One -Elephant Journal
Chronic Illness & Pain
Day 4: 31 Days to a Better CFS Life: 6 Things You Can ALWAYS Do Despite CFS/ME – The Get Up and Go Guru
“What you don’t see is that some days my pain levels are low and I can pretend I’m normal, but other days it’s all I can do to get up off the couch. I never know what kind of day it will be.
If I don’t look like I’m paying attention, what you don’t see is how the pain has taken over everything. What you don’t see is the guilt I live with every day.
When you talk about how anyone can do anything they want to do, what you don’t see is how much that hurts me. Because unlike you, I can’t do anything I want.
When you judge me for not doing enough, what you don’t see is that I’ve actually done too much.
What you don’t see is how physically, emotionally and spiritually draining having a chronic illness can be.” What You Don’t See Because of My Invisible Illness – The Mighty
Natural Arthritis Cures – Dr Axe
“I realize there are legitimate concerns about Facebook, particularly its unsupervised use by teens and pre-teens. But let’s not paint with too broad a brush, because my Facebook is a port in the storm—a place I know I can go where, instead of being told that life is always wonderful and amazing, I can find that, like me, others are struggling, while trying to make peace with the hand they’ve been dealt in life. To quote another person who posted on my Page: “Without this forum and companionship during difficult times with ill health, our minds would have been trapped without dreams and our spirits without song.”” In Defense of Facebook – Psychology Today
“More than 1 million Americans suffer from chronic fatigue syndrome, according to the Centers for Disease Control, although many experts believe that the agency’s figures are somewhat inflated. The illness is also known as “myalgic encephalomyelitis,” which means “painful inflammation of the brain and spinal cord,” and many people now refer to it as ME/CFS. Patients are used to having their symptoms belittled as imaginary or dismissed as a manifestation of depression by family, friends, colleagues, and doctors — even though compelling evidence has linked the complex illness to major immunological, neurological, and cognitive dysfunctions. Experts now believe that ME/CFS is likely a cluster of closely related conditions, triggered when an acute infection, or some other physiological insult such as exposure to environmental toxins or mold, kicks the immune system into a prolonged state of hyperactivation.” How “Chronic Fatigue Syndrome” Obscures a Serious Illness – BuzzFeed
17 Things People With Chronic Pain Are Tired of Hearing – Top things 2 know
Why These 10 Famous Thinkers Napped – Mark’s Daily Apple
“Bowel movements are probably low on most people’s list of topics they like to discuss, but it’s an important one nonetheless. Not only can your poop tell you a lot about your health, how you go can have a significant impact too.
Your position can affect the ease with which you eliminate, and doing it wrong may increase your risk of bowel and pelvic problems, including constipation, hemorrhoids, and more. As it turns out, virtually everyone living in Western societies is doing it wrong…” Want Better Bowel Movements? Squat, Don’t Sit! – Mercola
Sleep Well, Naturally: 7 Steps to Great Zzzz’s – Aviva Romm
“Not that long ago, as Partch knew, it had become clear that nearly every cell in nearly every tissue in the body keeps time. Every 24 hours, responding to a biochemical bugle call, a handful of proteins assembles in the cell’s nucleus. When they bind to each other on the genome, they become a team of unrivaled impact: Under their influence, thousands of genes are transcribed into proteins. The gears of the cell jolt into motion, the tissue comes alive, and on the level of the organism, you open your eyes and feel a little hungry for breakfast.” How the Body’s Trillions of Clocks Keep Time – Quanta Magazine
Dr Axe’s Essential Oils Guide – Dr Axe
“Microbreaks are regular, small, biologically meaningful breaks from being stuck in one position at work. This dynamic ergonomics concept has begun to eclipse more familiar, conventional ergonomic priorities. The idea is simple: no chair or efficiently arranged computer workstation, no matter how comfortable, can protect you from the danger of hours of sitting every day. The only truly ergonomic workstation “arrangement” is to break free of it regularly. You must have a “come here/go away” relationship with your workstation.” Sitting Too Much? Take Microbreaks – Pain Science
What you don’t know about gelatin may hurt you! 5 things you need to know! – Butter Nutrition
Why You Should Stop Boiling Your Oatmeal and Start Baking It – Serious Eats
“It’s a trick I learned from the wise words of Italian food legend Marcella Hazan. Instead of hurling your garlic into hot oil, start cooking your garlic and oil in a cold pan. Turn on the heat, and wait a minute or two. Within 10 or 20 seconds, the garlic will start to percolate, gently bubbling and releasing its flavor into the oil. You’ll start stirring it, and it’ll cook slowly, steadily, to the exact shade of pale gold you want to make the perfect tomato sauce. Or drizzle over broccoli. Or use to make garlic bread.
Yes, you’ll lose that cheffy sizzle. But you’ll gain something much greater. Food that actually tastes better.” The Trick You Should Use Every Time You Cook Garlic – Epicurious
When Tea Is As Sweet As Soda: Sugary Tea Around the World – The Salt – NPR
Paleo Chicken Pot Pie – Neely Quinn
AIP Bread – Cook It Up Paleo
Slow Cooker Beef and Broccoli (AIP/Paleo) – Sweet Potatoes and Social Change
Turmeric-Ginger Tea – The Kitchn
Blueberry Bacon Breakfast Burgers (AIP, Paleo, Whole30) – Adventures in Partaking
Chai Ice Cream – Serious Eats