Link Love (2016-02-23)

Thought-provoking

“Introverts and extroverts actually respond differently to a chemical released in the brain called dopamine. When dopamine floods the brain, we become more talkative, alert to our surroundings, and driven to take risks and explore our environment. Dopamine gives us good feelings when we seek external rewards like money, social status, career accomplishments, relationships, and sex.
It’s not that introverts have less dopamine in their brains than extroverts—they have the same amount. The difference is, extroverts have a more active dopamine reward network. The thought of gaining rewards energizes and motivates extroverts. At the expectation of, for example, getting the phone number of an attractive person or earning a promotion at work, extroverts become excited by dopamine’s “happiness hits.”
On the other hand, introverts are more sensitive to dopamine’s effects, so they don’t need as much of it to feel good. Simply put, when they get too much dopamine, they feel overstimulated and drained.” The science behind why introverts need alone time – Introvert, Dear

5 Ways to Make the Best of a Bad Situation – Psychology Today

“If there is one piece of advice I give regularly to my friends, it is this: “Just talk to him!” Or her, or them, or whomever. I’m constantly advising my friends that their problems would be more quickly and efficiently solved were they to just say something to the person currently stressing them out.
And, probably, this works. I wouldn’t know, as it’s something I rarely do myself. It’s one thing to give advice to someone else, dispensing thoughtful words of wisdom over Gchat. But try applying those same suggestions to your own life and it often falls apart.You definitely should just confront your friend about how much it annoys and hurts you that she has a habit of canceling plans at the last minute; I, on the other hand, have known my own flaky friend for far too long to bring it up at this point. It’s complicated. Don’t worry about it.” Why Is It So Hard to Take Your Own Advice? – The Cut

Equality

“Since I tweeted my distaste for the “miracle” meme, several able-bodied people have helpfully explained to me why it is, in fact, funny. One explained that it’s a joke and that jokes work because they show us something counter to our expectations. But watching someone stand up from a wheelchair is only counter to our expectations if our expectations are based on an ignorant and ultimately bigoted understanding of what disability is and what wheelchairs do.

All of us who use wheelchairs do so to grant us a range of mobility our physical difficulties deny us. Many disabled people use wheelchairs because they could not move, or even sit upright, without them. But many of us use them as an aid that takes up the slack of our unusually limited bodies. They are a means of transport that allow us to get farther than our front doors. They set us free.

The “miracle” meme plays on the belief that people with legitimate disabilities must be both passive and paralyzed. But this is absurd. You should be no more shocked that someone who uses a wheelchair is not paralyzed than you would be that someone who takes off glasses is not suddenly blind.” Miracle memes and inspiration porn: Internet viral image deman disabled people – Slate

Looking for a Good Girl-Power Novel? It’s Time to Go Back to the Classics – Verily

“Some think that being poor is simple. You don’t have enough money to buy a lot of stuff, so you’re forced to buy less stuff. But that’s not really how it works. When you’re broke, you can’t do all the little things that will improve your budget over the long run. It actually costs more to be poor.
When you’re poor, you can’t buy your food in bulk, buy high quality stuff that will last, or own your own tech instead of renting. It costs money up front to save money over the long run. Worse yet, being poor often comes with hidden, intangible costs that make digging yourself out of poverty even harder.” Being Poor Is Too Expensive – LifeHacker

UN Women Asked Artists to Create Cartoons Depicting Gender Equality. Here Are the Results – Girl Talk HQ

“Acting is a wild dream to have as a Black woman, especially as a tall, dark-skinned Black woman in her fifties. If I always go back to Viola Davis’ body, to her complexion and her appearance, it is simply because acting is the art of incarnation. The body, especially the face, is utilized to capture all the attention. The peculiar situation of an actress like Viola Davis is that much of her job requires/involves a looking relationship with an audience that doesn’t want to look at her. Or one that will only concede to look at her under certain conditions: degraded, hypersexualized, ridiculed or bundled up in rehashed caricatures and insipid narratives. An audience that has not been trained to look at her the way she deserves to be looked at. She’s working in an industry that is more than complicit, if not the main culprit, in erasing, de-eroticizing and vilifying her body. Indeed, cinematic spaces have historically rejected the (dark-skinned) Black body, constructing it as abject, ugly, expendable and unable to inspire empathy and identification. This is the structure within which Viola Davis tries to exist and be visible.” Anatomy of a Black Actress: Viola Davis – The Toast

Relationships & Sex

“I am a woman and they were men, and I think that matters, at least a little bit, in terms of socialization and ingrained expectations around who will be the caretaker and the social director and awkwardness forgiver and emotions translator. We were geeks/nerds/dorks, and I think that matters, at least a little bit, because ofGeek Social Fallacies and how some of those translate romantically. “Other people have excluded you, and that is bad, so I will make up for that.” “You have been unfairly rejected and treated, maybe my love can prove the exception.” “When nerdy men do something hurtful, it’s not really their fault, they can’t help it and don’t know any better. Why waste energy being mad?” and let’s not forget “We unfairly excluded/awkward/not conventionally attractive people gotta stick together, who else would even love someone like me?” Gender matters at least a little bit insofar as these are my own stories, and I was seduced by the idea that the sensitive dude who cries sometimes and trade books about feminism can’t possibly be sexist, or rapey, and the ubiquitous “love” stories about how brooding misunderstood genius assholes make a sexy exception for that one special person. In my haste to make up for the wrongs the world had done these men and to live out my destiny as the special woman privileged to see their best selves, I completely overlooked that maybe there were reasons that nobody besides me really liked them or got them and that every single other human interaction they’d ever had in their lives was riddled with conflict and betrayal.
These men all had something else in common: When I started to think about leaving them and/or actually left them, they fell to pieces and made everything terrible about their lives my fault.” “I want to break up, but partner is in the middle of painful life stuff and it doesn’t feel like the right time. What do I do?” – Captain Awkward

How to Get Out of the Friend Zone (Without Losing Your Friend) – Dr NerdLove

“There’s this misguided feminist idea that to be truly free/strong, you have to be able to treat men the way men sometimes treat women – like used toilet paper. “Misguided” being the operative word.
You want to call yourself a feminist? Conduct your life from a place of power. And that means being in control of your choices, but also being open to the risk that comes with being emotionally vulnerable.
Recognize that wanting to love someone doesn’t make you deficient or weak, but it does mean being brave in the face of potential loss. Because no one can promise eternal love, or guarantee that you won’t get hurt. A mature adult knows this full well and loves anyway.” What I Learned About Sex and Feminism from Hooking Up With a Guy I Didn’t Like – Everyday Feminism

Inspirational

“I might not be an expert, but I’m farther along than someone. And I don’t have to wait until I reach perfection to help someone who’s behind me on the journey.” On vulnerability, perfection, and helping the person behind you – The Frugal Girl

Be Present, Be Here – When First Aid Self-Care Isn’t Enough – Liz Lamoreux

“Your creative work is not your baby; if anything, you are its baby. Everything I have ever written has brought me into being. Every project has matured me in a different way. I am who I am today precisely because of what I have made and what it has made me into. Creativity has hand-raised me and forged me into an adult…”
Liz reminds us that our creations aren’t precious, but the contact we make with ourselves and with inspiration in the process of making them is precious.” how to treat your creative baby – Tara Sophia Mohr

4 strategies I originally dismissed as too “out there” that have significantly helped me (and my loved ones) manage anxiety – Modern Mrs Darcy

“That made me sit up and quiver like Luna when she hears a chipmunk because there is such a critical distinction between self-improvement and wanting more for yourself. It might seem a slim difference, not that important, while in reality, it’s a universe wide, a heart’s truth deep, and you can lose yourself for years in the gap in-between.” Freedom from Self-Improvement – Jennifer Louden

Chronic Illness & Pain

IZ – Designer Clothing for Men and Women Using Wheelchairs

“In school and work, so much emphasis is put on the end result and achieving perfection. This coloring time is about healing and creating, not about producing masterpieces of art. Let go of any expectations you have for your coloring page. The process of creating is where the pain relief will come. Learn to relax into the artwork and ignore your inner critic. This is not the time to over analyze light and contrast, color balance, or whether you stayed inside the lines. No one has to see your art unless you choose to let them, so embrace your inner 5 year old and start coloring.” How to Use Coloring for Pain Relief – Coloring Pages Bliss

Day 11: 31 Days to a Better CFS Life – 5 Ways to Combat Spoonie Mother Guilt – Get Up and Go Guru

“When faced with the pain and fatigue of chronic illness, do you tend to rise to the challenge or fall apart? Resilience is the ability to roll with the punches, to bounce back from stressful and challenging events. It involves adapting to change and addressing life’s problems constructively. When you have resilience, you discover new opportunities in the face of great challenges.” 10 Tips for Building Resilience in the Face of Chronic Illness – National Association of Baby Boomer Women

Can Medical Marijuana Help Rheumatoid Arthritis? – Health.com

“Lifestyle changes that affect gut bacteria may help to prevent and treat auto-immune diseases such as rheumatoid arthritis and psoriasis. More than 50 million Americans suffer from autoimmune diseases that look just like a person has an infection because laboratory tests show that a person has an over-active immunity that is trying to kill some germ. However, doctors cannot find any germ that could be causing the person’s symptoms. For example, auto-immune types of arthritis, such as rheumatoid and reactive arthritis, appear to be caused by an infection, but researchers have been unable to find any specific germ that causes them.” Autoimmune Diseases and Gut Bacteria – Dr Gabe Mirkin

5 Natural Remedies for Fibromyalgia – Dr Axe

Health

5 Foam Rolling Mistakes to Avoid – Mercola

“Have a look at the lifestyle section of any major newspaper and you’ll find a host of articles on how to stay well in a life that’s too busy to live in. But the facts are plainer than we’re being led to believe. Many of us simply work too much to really be well.
Nothing can alleviate the stress of overwork except working less. Like the road signs say, only sleep cures fatigue. We need to be reminded of this because tired long-haul drivers can be deluded into thinking that coffee, a can of Mother or an upbeat bit of music might help them stay awake. For the madly overworked, we need reminding that the only cure for working too much is to stop. It’s as simple as that.” No, it’s not you: why ‘wellness’ isn’t the answer to overwork – The Conversation

4 Natural Cough Remedies – The Prairie Homestead

“At this point, given what the research indicates, I do not feel that modest consumption of cured or processed meat is likely to pose a significant health risk, provided you are doing other things right (i.e., nurturing your gut microbiome, eating nutrient-dense, real foods, exercising, etc.). I think there is even less evidence suggesting that we should limit consumption of fresh red meat, especially when it is cooked using gentle methods (rather than charring it) and when you eat “from nose to tail.”” Red Meat & Cancer – Again! Will It Ever Stop? – Chris Kresser

Natural Head Cold Remedies for FAST Relief – Dr Axe

“Microbreaks are regular, small, biologically meaningful breaks from being stuck in one position at work. This dynamic ergonomics concept has begun to eclipse more familiar, conventional ergonomic priorities. The idea is simple: no chair or efficiently arranged computer workstation, no matter how comfortable, can protect you from the danger of hours of sitting every day. The only truly ergonomic workstation “arrangement” is to break free of it regularly. You must have a “come here/go away” relationship with your workstation.” Sitting Too Much? Take Microbreaks – Pain Science

Benefits of Vinegar Baths – Wellness Mama

Foodie

“Tea people have a bad obsession problem. There’s all kinds of ways to drill down into what you’re drinking: the leaf style and cultivar, the way it’s processed, what mountain it’s from, how the leaves were picked, what time of day they were picked…and that’s before you even think about teaware or how to brew your leaves.
It’s enough to scare away anyone who’s tea-curious, especially since there’s not much accessible writing in English to guide us along. Which is why when people say they’re interested in learning more about tea, I tell them to start simple. Some leaves and a kettle and a cup—that’s all you need.” How to Develop Your Tea-Tasting Palate – Serious Eats

How a Taste for Chinese Tea Minted America’s First Millionaires – The Salt – NPR

Recipes

Glazed Pears Recipe – Wellness Mama

Asian Meatballs (Paleo, AIP, Whole30) – Joy-Filled Nourishment

Pomegranate Cider – Autoimmune Paleo

Mediterranean beef stew (“Pasticada”) – Paleo Pumpkin

Turmeric Roasted Vegetables (AIP/Paleo) – Sweet Potatoes and Social Change

Paleo Pineapple-Ginger Grilled Chicken Breasts Recipe (AIP, Gluten Free) – Paloe Cajun Lady

2 Comments

  1. Thanks so much for sharing my post!

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