Link Love (2016-03-05)

Thought-provoking

“The American system of tipping is awkward for all parties involved: restaurant patrons are expected to have the expertise to motivate and properly remunerate service professionals; servers are expected to please up to 1,000 different employers (for most of us, one boss is enough!); and restaurateurs surrender their use of compensation as an appropriate tool to reward merit and promote excellence … Imagine, if to prompt better service from your shoe salesman, you had to tip on the cost of your shoes, factoring in your perception of his shoe knowledge and the number of trips he took to the stockroom in search of your size. As a customer, isn’t it less complicated that the service he performs is included in the price of your shoes?” Danny Meyer is Eliminating All Tipping  at His Restaurants – Eater NY

You’re doing it for the EXPOSURE – The Oatmeal

“Keeping your pet neatly groomed is important year-round, but it is especially important during the winter. For obvious reasons, you should avoid shaving or trimming his/her hair, but it is still essential to maintain a good grooming regime. Remove knots and thoroughly brush the coat on a regular basis. Matted fur provides less insulation and is less efficient in protecting your pet from cold rain and snow.” Keeping Your Pets Warm This Harsh Irish Winter – Jones Oil

10 Things You Didn’t Know About Knitting – Love Knitting

Religion

“A new study in the journal Current Biology found children in religious households are significantly less generous than their non-religious peers.
At the same time, religious parents were more likely than non-religious ones to consider their children empathetic and sensitive to the plight of others.” Religious kids are harsher and less generous than atheist ones, study says – Oregon Live

My Evangelical Homeschool Mother Taught Me the Five Pillars of Islam – Love, Joy, Feminism

“Therefore I am issuing a plea to my brothers in Christ for an understanding of where I’m coming from. When you choose to exist in public looking well-groomed and sharp, you are basically extending an invitation for me to lust after you.
Listen, as a woman I’m an emotional creature. I want to feel protected and safe, and nothing screams “I am a MAN and I will protect you” like a suit and tie. I can’t help it, that’s just how I’m wired.** It’s science. LOOK IT UP.
Now I know what you might be saying: “Well, isn’t it YOUR responsibility to control your thoughts around men?”
Of COURSE. We are all called to rid our thoughts of lust. But again, as my brothers in Christ, is it asking too much of you to simply be more attentive to what you wear?
If the purpose of our clothes is to glorify God, how are you doing so by wearing something that obviously causes others to sin in their minds? Yes, it is everyone’s job to control their own eyes, but you ALSO have a responsibility to not give them reason to sin.” “When Suits Become a Stumbling Block: A Plea to my Brothers in Christ” by L.P. – The Salt Collective

Equality

“A man once asked me … how I managed in my books to write such natural conversation between men when they were by themselves. Was I, by any chance, a member of a large, mixed family with a lot of male friends? I replied that, on the contrary, I was an only child and had practically never seen or spoken to any men of my own age till I was about twenty-five. “Well,” said the man, “I shouldn’t have expected a woman (meaning me) to have been able to make it so convincing.” I replied that I had coped with this difficult problem by making my men talk, as far as possible, like ordinary human beings. This aspect of the matter seemed to surprise the other speaker; he said no more, but took it away to chew it over. One of these days it may quite likely occur to him that women, as well as men, when left to themselves, talk very much like human beings also.” Are Women Human? by Dorothy Sayers – Diary of an Autodidact

Writing Better Trans Characters, by Cheryl Morgan – Strange Horizons

“As someone who does a great deal of digital activism and online writing, I’ve been called a “keyboard warrior” more times than I could count.
I’m commonly told that I should stop talking about oppression and “do something” about it.
There is this common misconception that all online activism is “slacktivism,” that it’s not “real” activism, that it’s all useless, and that it’s not as important or effective as offline activism.
But this is simply not the case.
In fact, those arguments are problematic because they doesn’t recognize that 1) talking and doing are not mutually exclusive and 2) talking online is educating people, and thus, doing something – something extremely important, I might add.” 5 Really Important Reasons to Stop Dismissing Online Activism – Everyday Feminism

Carly Fiorina’s use of anti-abortion video is ‘totally irresponsible’, experts say – The Guardian

“In our library children’s room, my son spoke to me and I found myself hyper-aware of the other parents who could hear us. You see, I spent half my life passing as white due to racial aggression in my childhood. My skin was too dark, my hair too wild, my features too exotic, my food too foreign, and the bits of language I did retain (mostly feebly translated idioms and over-the-top hand gestures) marked me as Other. Other meant feared. When my son publicly mingled Arabic with English, my hackles rose. I knew we were being watched. The social climate post-9/11 remained aggressively unfriendly. After a lifetime of being told to go back where I came from (Denison, Texas, by the way) I felt fear. Enough to shush my son and leave the space. Enough to stop speaking a language even though it was a gift I promised my child because a simple Mama, ana ju’an (Mom, I’m hungry)  piped in the aisles at Target triggered panic for his safety.
What happens when you are bicultural but language barriers prevent you full access to one of your cultures? You are like a sun-struck flower thrust into the shade. Fear can change any heartscape.” Parenting, Fear and Denial of Birthright – Raising Mothers

Relationships

5 Radical Ways People Do Non-Monogamy That You Need to Know About – Everyday Feminism

“Life changes in the instant, Joan Didion wrote in The Year of Magical Thinking. What I had found was that it took the instant to make me realize how much life had changed. M and I hadn’t been friends for years, but I had lived every day of those years thinking that reconciliation might be just around the corner. It wasn’t that I thought about her, or about us, every day; it was that I had never really gone through the process of grieving the friendship. I hadn’t wanted to let it die.” How Do You Grieve a Friendship When You Never Wanted to Let it Die? – Jezebel

#755: “Cool story(s), friend. Can someone else talk now?” – Captain Awkward

“Recently I was reading a magazine article on lifelong friends. The writer shared how, at one point, she realized it simply wasn’t realistic to expect herself to keep every single friend she had ever made in her life. Her reasons were – people grow, they change, they want different things, they believe different things, they need different things.
In other words, there is an organic time stamp on different friendships – some are set to last for a short time, others for a longer period of time, and others for a lifetime (which reminds me of the old saying “friends for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.”)” Why We “Click” With Some People and Not With Others – Psychology Today

10 Characteristics of a Healthy Relationship – Huffington Post

Inspirational

15 Alternatives to Sitting Meditation – Mark’s Daily Apple

“I’m making some assumptions here: that we are, in fact, working toward a healthier, more compassionate world for all beings. I’m also assuming that we are doing this together, and that we’d all like to continue building this more compassionate world for as long as we can.
What I see, however, is that we are not including ourselves in this more compassionate world. We are sacrificing ourselves (our sense of self, our health, our lives) in order to create this world. And it is my belief that when we treat ourselves with so little regard, let alone compassion, that this new world cannot fully come into being.
I’ve read that we can’t change the world until we’ve healed ourselves, and I think that’s bullhonkey too. What I believe instead is that we need to include ourselves in this transformative compassion.” Dying the Metaphorical Death – K.Foley Wellness

Hygge: A Heart-warming lesson from Denmark – BBC

Chronic Illness & Pain

Medical marijuana seems to safely help chronic pain students: study – CTV News

“Because sometimes I need a reminder.  Pain is real, whether it’s from depression or anxiety or arthritis or one of the many invisible illnesses that don’t easily show themselves but still exist and have to be treated, and – more importantly – have to be believed in order to be treated.  You need to know that your struggle is a real one.  You need to know that your fight is real and your survival is something to be proud of.  Remember that you are needed.  Remember that the things you say can affect those of us who fight.  Remember that not all things are visible and provable.  Love, faith, pain, anxiety, depression, compassion…these aren’t always quantifiable.  They aren’t always measurable.  They are often invisible.  But they are real.” Just because you can’t see it, doesn’t mean it’s not real – The Bloggess

Day 15: 31 Days to a Better CFS Life – 5 Tips for Getting Things Done – Get Up and Go Guru

““I really respect you for following that diet, but I don’t have time to do all of that cooking/research/shopping!” This is something I hear a lot from people in my day-to-day interactions. These are people who know that they need to adjust their diet and lifestyle, and they are interested in the topic, but part of them is still hesitant and looking for an excuse.
Transitioning to the autoimmune protocol or really any real food diet from the standard American diet is an adjustment in time management, because the standard American diet is built around the idea of speed and convenience. Fast food, microwavable food, pre-packaged food, processed food, its all designed to keep you out of the kitchen, what its not designed to do is keep you healthy. So, if you want to be healthy some level of cooking is going to be involved. With that in mind, let’s break down this excuse.” I Don’t Have Time for AIP – Sweet Potatoes and Social Change

10 Nutritional Deficiencies That May Cause Depression – Everyday Health

Changing my diet and giving up food attachments has been a big step in improving my life with fibromyalgia. I’ll be completely honest with you and say it’s something that I was reluctant to do for a long time. I kept coming up with excuses as to why it was not the right time to do it. Sometimes I tentatively made changes. However, I continued to push myself and inevitable ended up feeling rubbish. The conclusion I always came to was that the diet changes were not helping. Logical, right? As a side note, you need to reduce physical and mental stress too. Lifestyle changes are just as important if you are serious about improving your fibro.” 5 Tips for Successfully Changing Your Diet – February Stars

7 Traits of Happy People with Chronic Illness – MD Junction

Health

Natural Eczema Remedies and Treatment – Dr Axe

“It happens to the best of us. You start sneaking a few more bites of bread when out to dinner and trying your buddy’s delicious-looking pizza. Your workouts trickle to once a week, sometimes none. You walk less, couch more. And then one day, you realize you’ve gone off the wagon. You’ve gained belly fat. You’re getting winded going up the stairs. Your once-pleasurable hikes have become grueling affairs that you dread and end up avoiding. Your fridge is full of takeout boxes and you realize you haven’t cooked in two weeks. You need to restart your Primal lifestyle, and fast.
How do you do it?” 9 Ways to Restart Your Primal Lifestyle – Mark’s Daily Apple

Getting My Health Back – Movement Revolution

Turns out, stifling tears is NOT a healthy strategy. Holding back tears actually hurts your mood rather than helping it.” 7 Healthy, Beneficial Reasons to Let Loose and Cry – Psychology Today

Dear Mark: Histamine Intolerance – Mark’s Daily Apple

“The good news is there’s nothing inherently magical about bananas, rice, applesauce, and toast; they just happen to be already-familiar items from the Standard American Diet that meet the criteria from the list above. There are plenty of paleo-friendly foods that fit the bill too, and can offer additional nutrition and therapeutic properties not provided by the original BRAT diet.
In fact, we know a lot more about gut health now than when the BRAT diet was originally developed, so we can apply our scientific advancements to improve the diet even more. For instance, we have growing research showing the beneficial effects of certain amino acids in healing the gut (especially glycine, glutamine and arginine), the importance of protein for contracting the lower esophageal sphincter (which helps stop vomiting! Also take note that protein can help quell morning sickness!), as well as the role of certain nutrients in maintaining gut integrity and immune function (like my favorite mineral, and the second most abundant mineral in the human body, zinc).
All that said: how can we design a Paleo-friendly diet with the same soothing effects as the BRAT diet, and with an even better nutritional profile? Here are some great options!” Paleo “BRAT” Diet: The Definitive Stomach Flu Guide – The Paleo Mom

Mechanical Causes of Heartburn – Alignment Monkey

Recipes

Buckwheat-Lard Pancakes – The Radical Homemaker

Fermented Turmeric Tea – Fermented Herbs and Botanicals

Quick & Easy Salmon Cakes – Mark’s Daily Apple

Paleo Milky Way Bar – Paleo Hacks

Perfect Roasted Squash Recipe – The Prairie Homestead

How to Make Apple Cider Vinegar – Mommypotamus

From the past:

The Better Baby Book by Lana Asprey, MD & David Asprey

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