Link Love (2016-03-22)
“A “wife does not have the right to stand and deny her husband access to her body,” he writes, adding that she can ask for a delay with a “legitimate” reason, but “the judge of what is legitimate or not is her husband.”
“But I will say this, despite American laws to the contrary, Biblically speaking, there is no such thing as ‘marital rape,’” the writer continues. “In the Scriptures, the only way rape occurs is if a man forces himself on a woman who is not his property (not his wife, or concubine). A man’s wives, his concubines (slave wives taken as captives of war or bought) could be made to have sex with him, no questions asked.”” ‘There is no such thing as marital rape’: Christian website says wives must yield for sex ‘no questions asked’ – Raw Story
Sex Abuse Statutes of Limitation Stir Battle – The New York Times
“Every so often, some friend or other from the atheist SJ scene will post that they can no longer stand it round here — that movement atheism now is simply too toxic, that belief matters less than politics, and that they’d rather work with progressive believers than vile atheists. I can’t say I blame them — I’ve seen too many good people driven from this community — and yet I can’t help noticing: the trend, consistently, is that the friends who say this didn’t grow up religious. For them, inhabiting atheist space has always been a choice. For apostates like me, it’s frequently a need.
I need an atheist community — need space to speak frankly about my own abuse, find others who went through similar things and give voice to what I experienced. Like many apostates, I need a movement that affirms my anger as valid and doesn’t confuse it with the pubescent bile of the Dawkbros. I need a community that doesn’t respond to depression with prayer, to kink and queerness with polite non-acknowledgement at best, hostility at worst, to sex and poverty with vain moralism — and for me, that means a secular one. I can’t leave atheism: I have nowhere else to go.” Why I Still Need The Atheist Movement – Godlessness in Theory
“I understand this: the fact that I can personalise attacks on Paris but not Beirut changes how they feel. It’s deeply unfair when millions of privileged people from powerful countries only have the tools to humanise each other. We need to change this. When we make fortresses of our societies, people on both sides of the wall no longer have the opportunity to know each other. To be friends whose hearts drop with fear when something happens that could hurt each other.
And I understand this: this is a bigger problem than any of us. While the personal is political, the political is personal as well. We can understand that our world is broken and still care deeply for our friends and the places we’ve been.
I understand this, too: shaming each other isn’t going to help. It’s not.” Paris, Beirut, all of it: I’ve no snappy title for you today. – Consider the Tea Cosy
Why I Provide Abortions – The New York Times
“I don’t think most men working in technology are trying to drive out or turn away women from the field. I think those who say we don’t have a diversity problem just don’t see it because they’ve never been on the outside and wouldn’t notice how seemingly innocuous examples of sexism create an unwelcoming atmosphere. People also tend to hire candidates who look and share the same interests and experiences as them. Privilege is invisible to those who have it, and the meritocracy that tech companies claim to have is a lie.” We Aren’t Imagining It: The Tech Industry Needs More Women – LifeHacker
Planned Parenthood’s “Government Funding”: The Same Kind Your Doctor Receives – Love, Joy, Feminism
“Around every axis of privilege/marginalization, there are marginalized people saying, “I just experienced this heinous bit of hatred because of my marginalized identity,” and privileged people saying, “Hang on, now. How can you be sure that it was because of your marginalized identity, and not just a misunderstanding, or a mistake, or a misspeak, or this thing or that thing or this other thing over here, because there’s surely a perfectly logical explanation for why this behavior that looks exactly like a million other bits of behavior that you and other people in this marginalized population have experienced is actually something TOTALLY DIFFERENT. Have you considered that maybe it’s just that you’re too sensitive?”
If Occam’s Razor is the principle by which the simplest explanation is usually the correct one, this urge to exhaust every possible explanation—no matter how convoluted, remote, unlikely, or totally fucking absurd—is Occam’s Big Paisley Tie.” Occam’s Big Paisley Tie – Shakesville
This Is the Perfect Illustration of Why Microagressions Hurt – Everyday Feminism
“Aside from engaging those who otherwise wouldn’t in political activities, digital activism also enables people who couldn’t engage in certain activities – such as protesting in the street or occupying buildings – because of their circumstances, such as a disability. For these groups in particular, online forms of activism can offer a serious sense of empowerment. Broadcaster, journalist, and access and inclusion expert, Mik Scarlet tells me: “So many people I am in contact with freely admit that they are pretty much tied to their homes, so the ability to interact and play a constructive role in a campaign has enabled them to gain a voice and that is a real confidence builder.”The cynicism towards digital activism does a disservice to these already marginalised groups. By privileging certain forms of activism – especially the most physical and visible – we risk alienating those who can’t participate and reinforcing prejudices against people with disabilities. “To me, part of the reason why some look down on online activism is that it has given a voice to group of people who tend to have a similar experience and this political leaning,” says Mik. “While disabled people are not all rabid lefties like myself, they are voicing an experience that asks for equality and fair treatment.” Clearly, excluding these groups is counter-productive for progressive political movements, as people with disabilities have proved unequivocally they have an extremely valuable contribution to make to political causes.” Clicktivism: placating or empowering? Contributoria
“For a lot of men, the anxiety surrounding their dating inexperience can be overwhelming. They become intimidated by women whom they fear have more experience than they do. They become too afraid to approach anyone, never mind people they’re attracted to. They set themselves up for failure by looking for reasons why others couldn’t possibly like them or why they couldn’t improve, and wait for the Universe to deliver instead.” Overcoming Your Dating Inexperience – Dr NerdLove
“Sometimes you just gotta level with people. “I love you. I do not understand your choices right now.” “I want to be supportive, but WTF, friend?” “I don’t follow; how is Tabitha wrong, exactly? (Tabitha seems maybe good at boundaries?)” “Why do you think this is happening?” “I know you are hurting, but from your stories you’ve told me you are not acting like the good person I know you to be right now. Are you ok? What’s going on with you?” “You already know what I’m going to say. Do you want to hear it out loud or are we good?” “Everybody makes mistakes sometimes. Good job being really ambitious about it, buddy!”
You can be a loving friend without being the “I cheerlead your bad decisions!” friend.” #736: Being supportive when your friend’s troubles are of their own making – Captain Awkward
“A client and I were discussing some major life decisions she’s making this season. While we were listing the hesitation, trepidation, and niggling fears in the back of her mind, I realized that the underlying emotion preventing her from locking into a decision was grief.
A surprising realization, to be sure. New life decisions typically mean excitement, butterflies in your stomach, and eager planning for everything new.
Instead, she was holding off on making a decision, because to say Yes to one thing meant truly, finally letting go of another.” The Particular Grief of the Life that Isn’t Ours – K. Foley
Real Self-Care: a loving listicle – Christy Tending
“Important note: Assuming the best is not the same as pretending something hasn’t happened. It’s not gratitude through gritted teeth. We can assume the best and still acknowledge that we don’t accept certain behaviours. Rather, it’s about being as generous as we can with our interpretations about why someone behaved in a certain way.
One of the most helpful things about assuming the best is that it defuses potentially high-drama situations. It’s all too easy to take that unanswered email, that friend who forgot our birthday, or that tone of voice, and make it all about us.” The Powerful 3-Word Phrase That Makes Me a Better Person – Becoming Who You Are
Chronic Illness & Pain
7 Healthy, Safe ways to Release Emotions – CFS & ME Coaching
“Dysautonomia patients usually fare better with exercises that do not cause orthostatic stress. Reclined exercises like stretches, yoga and gentle weight lifting done from a seated or laying down position, recumbent biking, rowing and swimming are examples. Only after the patient has spent a substantial amount of time building up tolerance to these exercises, should the patient attempt to begin upright exercises like jogging or upright biking.
Everyone begins at a different starting point. Where you begin with your exercise therapy, really depends on what your current level of fitness is. If you have been bedridden for years and are unable to walk, then you will obviously start slower than someone who works a full-time job on their feet all day.” Exercises for Dysautonomia Patients – Dysautonomia International
3 Steps to Heal Adrenal Fatigue Naturally – Dr Axe
“Fibromyalgia is real and doctors will no longer be able to say it isn’t. Fibromyalgia is finally being recognized as an official diagnosis. On October 1, 2015, fibromyalgia was included in the new ICD-10 list of medical codes. ICD and stands for International Classification of Diseases. ICD codes are used by healthcare workers, policy-makers, insurers, researchers and patient organizations to classify diseases and other health problems. The ICD code is recorded on many types of health records.” Fibromyalgia Is Real – It’s Official – Fibrodaze
10 Top Tips for Pacing When You Have Fibromyalgia – February Stars
“Now the 74-year-old Davis has embarked on what may be the biggest challenge of his career: to help his son and others living with ME/CFS, a group that numbers, by various estimates, as many as 4 million Americans and as few as 836,000.
“It’s probably the last major disease that we don’t know anything about. . . . It’s remarkable how insidious this thing is, in the sense that people who have it don’t look sick, so nobody believes them,” Davis said at a recent fundraiserheld in the yard of the family’s home in Palo Alto, Calif. The event drew about 100 people, including the city’s mayor.” With his son terribly ill, a top scientist takes on chronic fatigue syndrome – The Washington Post
Herbs for Fibromyalgia – Herbs Info
Everything’s Connected: Your Ribs, Your Shoulders, and Your Pelvic Floor -Movement Revolution
“Your body needs many dietary vitamins and minerals to maintain its physiological homeostasis, and it requires a variety of mechanical nutrients (loads that create cellular deformations that facilitate cellular processes) as well.
Walking is a category of movements, just like fat is a category of types of fatty acids. I could tell you that your diet is too low in fat and you need to eat more. But does this mean you need more manufactured transfats? Or that you need many different types of fats, because each plays a different role and offers unique nutrients? You could still be malnourished if you only added one type of fat, without determining which kinds of fats you were in need of.
Similarly, walking offers a broad range of nutrients as a category, but you have to make sure you’re not consuming only walks of a certain type. You won’t be fully meeting your movement macronutrient needs if you’re always on asphalt, or a path, or always walking a dog, always going the same speed, always on a treadmill, always on the same route, always on the phone, always in the same temperature, always at the same time, always in the same mood, always on the same slope, always in the same shoes, always on the same texture, always the same distance. The many variables affecting the nutrition of your walking bout are mind-blowing.” 13 Ways to Make Your Walk More Nutritious – Nutritious Movement
10 Powerful Herbs for the Skin – Hippie Luxe
“Around a dozen years ago, researchers noticed that some patients with chronic conditions such as heart disease fared better than others. This should have been encouraging news, perhaps a clue to future treatments. Instead, researchers were baffled. Because the factor that seemed to be protecting these patients was fat: They were all overweight or mildly obese.” Scientists now think that being overweight can protect your health – Quartz
Better Posture: Why ‘Shoulders Down and Back’ Isn’t Best – Robb Wolf
A bluffer’s guide to kale – I Quit Sugar
“A shop owner who flew halfway around the world to wander through the mountains, meet with farmers, and taste tea, who then brings back just eight or so teas to sell that season, is likely a true believer in those products. She’s proud of them. She wants you to love them as much as she does. By comparison, if a website’s offering you 100 types of tea from 12 countries, they’re likely buying them through brokers, not directly. That by no means dictates that the company isn’t selling quality tea—many absolutely do. But as with any specialty food, following a discerning fanatic’s personal recommendations usually yields superior results.
When reading product descriptions, look for detailed descriptions of farmers’ methods for growing and processing their tea, evidence that company buyers have seen the tea fields with their own eyes and have a good relationship with their farmers.” Where to Buy Amazing Tea Online – Serious Eats
7 Ways to Eat (& Drink) Turmeric – The Kitchn
“I generally don’t subscribe to the idea of superfoods. While I’ll try your obscure Amazonian berry that spent a fortnight fermenting in a capybara’s colon, I won’t join your pyramid scheme to help sell it. I may very well add a teaspoon of gelatinized maca root to my smoothie, but I won’t claim it’s responsible for my great health. These foods are perfectly nutritious, contain impressive levels of some unique phytonutrients, and often have robust clinical support as inclusions in healthy diets. But c’mon: who’s regularly eating goji berries for $15 a pound? They’re not even that great.
I’m far more interested in the regular “superfoods.” The normal foods that we don’t necessarily consider super. The ones that are just there but have incredible health benefits just the same.” 6 Hidden Superfoods You Probably Already Have in Your Pantry – Mark’s Daily Apple
Make-Ahead Paleo Freezer Meals – Against All Grain
AIP Instant Pot Blackberry Balsamic Chicken Recipes (Paleo/Gluten Free) – Paleo Cajun Lady
Holiday Hermit Cookies – The Paleo Mom
Cream of Chicken and Veggie Soup – Adventures in Partaking
Fermented Spiced Apple Sauce – Modern Hippie Housewife
Basic Roasted Vegetables – Popular Paleo
“Cheesy” Chicken “Pasta” (AIP/Paleo) – Sweet Potatoes and Social Change