Link Love (2016-04-02)
“What happened? Well, basically I realized there are a lot of problems with modesty as taught in American Christianity, and the Survey hands a megaphone to some of the worst of those problems.
Perhaps the biggest and most disturbing problem is that we gave a platform to guys just because, well, they were guys.
We had no way of knowing whether the respondents had a healthy understanding of their own sexuality, knew the difference between attraction and lust, truly respected women, etc. We gave legitimacy to the idea that they had a right to speak about women’s clothing choices simply because they were male.
Just because a person is male doesn’t mean their opinions on modesty are legitimate. And, quite frankly, it was inappropriate for us to promote the idea that men should teach women what clothing choices are appropriate. It reinforces the false idea that modesty is something that women do for men, an idea never found in the Bible and fraught with its own set of problems.” Why the Rebolution’s Modesty Survey Was A Bad Idea – Shaney Irene
“Becoming an evangelical means much more than praying the sinner’s prayer or affirming either the Nicene Creed or the NAE Statement of Faith. I suspect that all of these additional things are left out of the original pitch because of the assumption that they naturally follow. In other words, evangelicals are confident that believing that the Bible is infallible will naturally mean believing that gay relationships are incompatible with Christianity, or that abortion is murder, and they are confident that a newly converted evangelical will want to become a part of evangelical culture.
That someone could affirm the core beliefs in the sinner’s prayer, Nicene Creed, or NAE statement of faith and yet disagree with standard evangelical positions or take serious issue with modern evangelical culture is not in evangelicals’ frame of reference. And yet, such is possible, is it not? I think of liberation theology, with its emphasis on Jesus’ subversive nature and overthrowing of contemporary power structures. Indeed, even the NAE statement of faith is not incompatible with universalism.” By Faith Alone? The Boundaries of Evangelicalism – Love, Joy, Feminism
Idaho teen threatened to ‘kill all the girls’ because cheerleaders wouldn’t send him any ‘freaking nudes’ – Raw Story
“It’s a group of men who are so threatened by the existence of female opinion that it’s nothing to them to toss off a tweet like that. Because, can’t I take a joke? Because, why am I such a bitch when a man just wants me to smile? Because, what business do I have posting a *gasp* selfie and telling men how to treat me?” smile, you bitch: being a woman in 2015 – Absurdist – Medium
No, We Won’t Calm Down – Tone Policing Is Just Another Way to Protect Privilege – Everyday Feminism
“And as disabled people, we are expected to “model through it” every damn day.
You know what else is once-in-a-lifetime? Living.
And the days you choose to listen to your body’s needs and desires, or listen to your friend’s needs and desires and take the extra step to make something a little more accessible, or decide whether it’s a worthwhile thing to do at all, are not any less life-like than any other day.
I would say they’re even more rich in their opportunities.
FOMO is ableist because it doesn’t allow us to take our bodies, our circumstances, our safety, or our feelings into account.” 5 Assumptions Behind the ‘Fear of Missing Out’ That Are Actually Really Ableist – Everyday Feminism
Workplace – Robot Hugs
“So in a way we cultivate two gardens: one is learning to accept and appreciate ourselves and others outside the beauty olympics; the other is learning to accept and appreciate ourselves and other women without feeling threatened or diminished—just as they might have something you lack, you, too, possess some special thing that other women crave. As Gordon notes, “When we each focus on being the dominant force in our own universe, rather than invading other universes, we all win.”
She’s right. Which is why the moment you can look at another woman and simply say “she’s awesome” for whatever it is that makes her awesome, and not see that as a strike against your own worth, you know you’ve transcended something big.” Girl-on-Girl Jealousy Is Not Inevitable – Jezebel
New study confirms that anger bolsters men’s authority while undermining women’s – Feministing
Beauty & Body Image
“The volume is almost incomprehensible, and production levels are staggering. Zara designs and produces over 10,000 styles per year. Consumers can now have an outfit for even the slightest change in weather, at an affordable price.
So what’s wrong with this model? Brands are increasing sales, and consumers are getting a low-cost product with broad variety. What’s not to love?
The non-glitzy truth is that fast fashion requires shortcuts. Really. Big. Shortcuts. How else can a $3.80 tank top exist in the world?” 6 Things You Didn’t Know About Fast Fashion – Elephant Journal
6 Scary Facts that Prove Size Discrimination is Real – Adios Barbie
““I didn’t like looking in the mirror before I started on testosterone. Now I’m happy with what I see.” Jamie Raines talked to BuzzFeed News about capturing his transition and transforming his life.” This Trans Guy Took A Selfie Every Day For Three Years To Show How His Face Change – Buzz Feed
How to Care for Sweaters and Knitwear – Wardrobe Oxygen
“Body image struggles come in many different forms: You may feel self-conscious or inadequate whenever your sister-in-law/substitute spin instructor/childhood pal is around, and relatively fine most other times. You may only worry when your weight fluctuates or you notice a bunch of new wrinkles or you have a big, painful acne breakout. But if you’re someone who struggles with your body image in a low-grade but near-constant way, you may not be fully aware of how much strength that struggle is draining off you, slowly but steadily.
Because it takes brain space and emotional capacity and ENERGY to roll something over and over in your mind, examine your perceived failures, ponder plans of attack. Negative body thoughts that aren’t fleeting or compartmentalized are like apps running in the background of your phone, draining your battery with every passing moment even though you’re not even using them. If you’re anxious about your body all the time, you’re unconsciously allotting resources to a complex and painful cluster of thoughts and feelings. You’re pouring precious energy into something that can suck it down forever and never be full.” Body Image and Energy Inefficiency – Already Pretty
“They say my voice will become the one in your brain. I said a hundred things this year I’d like to erase. My silence perhaps more awful than my words. Does silence echo too? I imagine it does.
But what about when we sat on your bed and I said “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. You don’t deserve that. I’m having trouble managing my anger.” And we hugged, hard, again. For everything. Or the hundred times I showed up anyway, broken and distant, but by your side with the tenacity of a fucking bulldog, because you’re mine and I’m yours? Does that silence count? Will it hold you too in 20 years? I put on your favorite songs. I watched you sing with blurred eyes. I loved you with perfect clarity.
Do you hear that, too? All the moments I kissed you and said “I’m really tired. I’m having a hard time. But I’m trying to get better.”” Hey kids, we gotta talk about 2015 – Renegade Mothering
“It can be hard to be a good friend to others while we’re not doing so great ourselves. Here are some ways you can make sure that you’re not overtaxing your friends, but also not spreading yourself too thin either. (Added bonus: these are tips you can use all year round.)” How to be a good friend, even when you are struggling – She Does the City
“It’s hard to discipline children. You can’t hit them. Timeouts are not effective. Now, a study out of the University of Pittsburgh says yelling at teens and tweens — particularly when it involves cursing or insults — can be just as harmful as hitting. So what can you do
Remember that the word “discipline” originally meant to teach, so look for opportunities to coach your child, not just punish him for a misstep.” Study says yelling as harmful as spanking in disciplining kids. So what should parents do? – The Washington Post
“There’s nothing wrong with apologizing for the bad things you’ve done. But when saying sorry becomes your automatic response to anything that makes you feel a little uncomfortable, it can be problematic. For example, I tend to apologize when someone else bumps into me at a bar or club. I’ll immediately put my hand up in peace and quickly say “sorry” with a smile, even though they just spilled half of my $14 drink on the floor. Is it courteous for me to do that? Perhaps, but I wasn’t the one who needed to apologize. In fact, I wasn’t actually sorry at all, I was annoyed, and you’ve probably felt the same way at one point or another. That “sorry” that escapes your own mouth isn’t to apologize, it’s to avoid rocking the boat and making things awkward (the woman who read this over my shoulder in the coffee shop while I wrote this agreed).” How to Stop Apologizing for Everything You Do – LifeHacker
The Most Important Moment – Zen Habits
“Owning our trauma grants us permission to heal. The goal is not to forget. We acknowledge and release with memory intact. In fact, we may acknowledge and release the same story many times. Or we may recover details that expand our stories so we return to express them in new ways.” Why You Shouldn’t Be Afraid to Write Through Trauma – The Honeyed Quill
How to Hygge (Or: 29 Ways to Actually Enjoy Winter) – Yes and Yes
“I went on to say that sometimes, my self-care is messy. It’s art supplies strewn about. It’s a pile of dirty dishes from making myself delicious food. It’s leaving my bag in the doorway and coat on the floor, so that I can make it to my bed before collapsing.
It’s imperfect.” Why Real Self-Care? – Christy Tending
Chronic Illness & Pain
8 Things I Wish I Had Known When I Was First Diagnosed With Fibromyalgia – February Stars
“I am not being an airy-fairy hippy-dippy fruitcake when I say that emotions are stored in your body. Well, it’s unclear (to me) whether they’re stored in the body per se or in one of the various neurological representations of the body (prolly the latter, don’t you think?), but it amounts to the same thing: emotions that don’t get expressed set up camp inside you and refuse to budge without being PHYSIOLOGICALLY evicted. And these aging squatters are a source of disease, injury, and chronic illness.
And this is the SCIENCE of the thing. It’s not metaphysical, lavender-scented, crystal-gazing humbug, though I am painfully aware that it can sound that way when I talk about it. When stress or trauma happens, your physiology changes, your stress response kicks in; and modern life doesn’t allow for the full experience of the stress response cycle, so you get stuck.” what your body knows – the dirty normal
101 Ways I Manage CFS & Electrosensitivity Pain – Get Up and Go Guru
“We all want to be healed, and so we look for confirmation that healing is possible, holding on to the narratives of miracle-cures and magical-remissions like talismans for our future well-being.
But the reality is that healing autoimmune is slow, non-linear and perhaps always incomplete.
Once a body is in autoimmune response, it is always in autoimmune response.
And if we don’t get that at first, it can lead to disillusionment and an unwarranted sense of failure.” Healing Autoimmune – petra8paleo
Understanding Light and Noise Sensitivity in Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome – About.com
How You Can Breeze Through Surgery – Dr. Alan Christianson
“Culturally, we still hold the belief “Nature” that the relationship between time and productivity is direct. As if writing consists solely of the output of words, your typing speed being the indicator of how long it would take to write a thousand-word word article (ten minutes) or a novel (one week). But of course, time spent coming up with ideas and themes, and organizing and reorganizing these threads in our minds, is also “writing.” The trouble is, we’ve come to see sitting at a desk as an integral part of the writing process. We imagine the mulling, the idea-forming, the organizing, the process—the creativity—can occur only when the butt–chair circuit is closed. I (and researchers) have found the opposite to be true: movement can be a conduit for creativity.
The chair, so intertwined with our humanness these days, has become, in our minds, tangled with our writing process. And so we sit and sit and sit, diligently attending to our process, when what we think of as our process is probably less tied to sitting, and more related to the passage of time. Sometimes you just have to wait for the next idea. While the waiting seems to be, at least for me, part of the writing process, sitting still while waiting doesn’t have to be.” Be A Writer Who Moves, A Mover Who Writes – Sarah Selecky
All the First Aid Stuff That’s Changed Since You First Learned It – LifeHacker
“This is an article about one of the best examples of how pain is weird. Some amazing new research from the University of Calgary explains that immune cells unnecessarily “swarm” sterile injury sites, causing damage and pain with no direct benefit — a biological glitch with profound implications about why some painful problems are so severe and stubborn.1 It’s old news that inflammation often seems like overkill, but we now have a key piece of the puzzle — the precise reason for it — and confirmation that it is in fact pointless in principle, a lose-lose situation imposed by evolution.
Biology — making your life uncomfortable since you were born!” Why Does Pain Hurt? – Pain Science
Blackstrap Molasses: The Sugar You Can Love – The Paleo Mom
Tea Essentials: The Only Teaware You Really Need – Serious Eats
“Being more intentional means a lot of things for us. It means making wise decisions about how we make and spend money. Being intentional means that we are mindful of the waste we create, which is why we strive to reduce it. Our focus on intentionality reaches into our relationships, strengthening the ones we have and building new ones.” Intentional Thanksgiving: How to Make the Holiday More Meaningful – Shalom Mama
9 Foods That Have More than the FDA’s Daily Recommended Amount of Sugar – The Atlantic
Healthy Sweet Potato Casserole Recipe – Wellness Mama
AIP Dinner Rolls – The Paleo Mom
Slow Cooker Holiday Wassail (AIP/Paleo) – Sweet Potatoes and Social Change
Gluten-Free Shortbread Cookies – Against All Grain
Butternut Bisque – Popular Paleo
Coconut Flour Paleo Pie Crust – Paleo Hacks