Link Love (2016-05-21)

Thought-provoking

“Across Sweden, only around 1% of employees work more than 50 hours a week, one of the lowest rates in the OECD, where 13% is the average. By law, Swedes are given 25 vacation days, while many large firms typically offer even more. Parents get 480 days of paid parental leave to split between them. Most offices are empty after 5pm.
“It’s a very different experience to when I worked in the UK and clients wanted to stay in touch on weekends and during the evening,” says Canadian-born Ameek Grewal, 29, who relocated from London to Citibank’s Nordic headquarters in Stockholm a year ago.” The truth about Sweden’s short working hours – BBC News

20 Cognitive biases that affect decisions – Business Insider

“For a lubricant to claim that it is the only product on the entire market that can offer a 100% protection rate is not only wholly inaccurate but also incredibly dangerous for anyone who believes the claims. If you do want to know what methods are recommended beyond condoms to reduce the risk of infection please check out this link from Aids.govDo not buy this lubricant.
In addition to making these horrendous claims, I Believed After Using It has consistently refused requests to know what ingredients go in to their lubricant. Why? Because we wouldn’t believe their claims if we knew what was in it. Gee, I wonder why.” Some Thoughts On: Prolube and Scam Products – Emmeline Peaches Reviews

Equality

“The Protection of Life During Pregnancy Act states that abortion cannot be accessed unless a person’s life is at risk, a risk that medical professionals have time and time again described as difficult and dangerous to quantify. The HSE Consent Policy as outlined clearly in the Maternity Strategy document reserves the right to take high court injunctions against women if the health of the foetus is at risk. Yet, if a woman’s health in pregnancy is at risk, under Irish law she does not get to decide that that risk to her health is too much to bear, and that she would end the pregnancy. This is equality? How is risk to the health or life of the foetus quantified? There is a growing body of research which would suggest that stress on the mother can be harmful to the foetus. Threatening women with legal action to carry out a non consensual procedure is  hardly conducive to reducing stress in pregnancy. Promises to improve perinatal mental  health and assistance to women who experience birth trauma ring hollow when forced procedures and interventions are the reality.
It’s not consent if you’re afraid to say no.” Consent in the context of the 8th amendment – Parents for Choice

Germaine Greer? The market has spoken. We don’t want the transphobia you’re selling. – Consider the Tea Cosy

“The fact is, a 14-year-old girl may be capable of agreeing to sex with a 49-year-old man, but she doesn’t have the emotional and mental maturity to consent. I was 25 before I realized that every man I’d slept with as a teenager was a pedophile. It seemed to me that since I’d courted the attention, that I was fully culpable. What teenager believes she is not mentally or emotionally capable of full consent? I thought I was an adult, although when I look at the picture of myself from the time period above, I see a child.
I thought I was the exception for these men, the girl so precocious and advanced that it superseded social norms. I thought that I was “older than my chronological age.”
It never occurred to me as a young sexually active teen that the adult men I had relationships with may have been manipulating me, that they had designs and motives I couldn’t see from my limited child’s perspective.” The Myth of the Teenage Temptress: Or Why A Young Girl Can Not Consent to Sex With an Adult Man – xoJane

Mindware Listens! Redesigned Marketing for Children’s Science Toys is Awesome! – Nathan Lents

Relationships & Parenting

The Biggest Rule for Everyone
Remember that at the center of this is a small person who is, at best, semi-responsible for the way they interact with the world. Be a good model for that small person of how a responsible, sensible, compassionate human being behaves. On a plane, realize that the baby doesn’t know how to pop their ears and doesn’t exactly want to cry, and be a little sympathetic. In a restaurant, recognize that your kid might be crying because they’re really, really uncomfortable or unhappy and that the kind thing to do would be to take them home. Remember that the world doesn’t revolve around you — the diner who feels entitled to a silent meal; the parent who wants to go wherever, whenever, under whatever circumstances at all; or even, for that matter, the baby, who is one of 630 million like it in the world and is definitely more important to you than to anyone else around you. You don’t have to be a saint, or a martyr, or some kind of other religious imagery implying patience, since I seem to be on a roll here. Just… don’t be an asshole.” Kids in Public: And Thus Have I Provided You a Definitive List of Rules – Feministe

6 Relationship Tips for Empaths – elephant journal

“Let’s start with the obvious thing first: the fact that you’re a virgin really has sweet fuck-all to do with anything. Being a virgin at 25 is relatively uncommon but hardly rare or unusual; it happens far more often than you’d think, for men and women. Whether you’re a virgin or not has nothing to do with your worth as a person, with your potential or even an indication of anything other than the fact that you just haven’t had sex yet. Period, end of. The people who make the most fuss about a virgin being a shameful thing isn’t women, it’s other men; the idea of sex as demarcator of personal worthiness is part of the whole toxic masculinity bullshit I’m always talking about. Most of the women you’re going to encounter in your day to day life not only aren’t going to know whether or not your a virgin (unless you decide to tell them) but frankly, most of them aren’t going to give a shit. 9 times out of 10, most of the people in your life really aren’t all that invested in your status as having had sex or not, and the ones who give you shit for it are proving themselves to be assholes.
Now, what are the people in your life going to care about more? Your attitude. The fact of the matter is, folks prefer being around positive people and avoid being around negative people because negative people tend to infect others with their negativity. It’s generally unpleasant to be around someone who responds to a “Hey, how’s your morning?” with a grumble and a fuck-off scowl. Same with the guy on the bus who looks like he’s imagining the best way to rip out the lungs of the next motherfucker who talks to him – most people aren’t going to want to deal with him, so they give ’em a wide berth. Someone who’s generally smiling and upbeat is much more pleasant to be around.” Ask Dr. NerdLove: I’m a Shy Virgin. Does This Make Me Creepy? – Dr NerdLove

#779: Cool, attentive boyfriend or a Klingon dressed in Cling-wrap? – Captain Awkward

“Like a focus on obedience, a focus on virginity is short-sighted and doesn’t actually prepare a young person for adulthood. And that’s a problem, because our job as parents is to prepare our children for adulthood. Whether your child was obedient as a kid isn’t going to matter jack shit if they’re unable to make their own decisions or communicate, cooperate, and compromise with others as adults. And similarly, whether your child remained a virgin until marriage (or high school graduation, or what have you) is so far beyond irrelevant if they grow up to enter abusive sexual relationships because you never taught them about things like consent or bodily autonomy. In many ways our parenting must be future-focused, not present-focused.” Your Child’s Virginity Is None of Your Business – Love, Joy, Feminism

Inspirational

“Yet, while we’re busy focusing in on the emotional states of others, we usually don’t pay much attention to something equally, if not more important—our own emotional reactions to these social encounters. Why is this so important? Because emotions are highly contagious, and if you catch a bad bug, the consequences can be life-threatening..” Emotions Are Contagious – Choose Your Company Wisely – Psychology Today

How to Protect and Liberate Your Energy: A Guide for Introverts and Anyone Who Feels Drained – Brenda Knowles

“We all have a handful of errands + tasks that we know we  should do.
And yet? We don’t do them because we think it makes us feel better
to ignore them.
 But they’re always there, lurking in the background,
nipping at our  heels + sucking the joy out of a potentially relaxing
evening with our favorite TV show or book.” End the Energy Leaks and Stop Procrastinating – Danielle Dowling

And then that one time on Twitter we all just became human and I laughed until I gave myself a headache – The Bloggess

Chronic Illness & Pain

“Reversing autoimmune disease through diet and lifestyle is something no one can do for us. We’re the ones who decide the food we eat, what time we go to bed, how hard we push ourselves, whether we take time to de-stress. Yet, we don’t walk this world alone. We’re surrounded by friends, family and co-workers who are powerful influences on our lives. It’s a lot easier to stay on the healing path if we’re supported by those people, rather than thwarted by them. So, how do we get that support?” How Do I Get the Support of Family and Friends? – Phoenix Helix

How to Handle a Fibromyalgia Flare Up: 5 Tips – February Stars

Disability and illness can seem scary, messy, different. People with illnesses are supported in wanting to heal – but it’s subjective: Who can say four limbs are best? That walking upright is the goal? So often, support is offered with the underlying assumptions that “help” or “healing” are universally defined. That the end game is always, “cured” or “normal” or a return to life pre-diagnosis. It’s crucial to acknowledge and examine our own fear and prejudices about what truly constitutes “health” and “illness” before trying to help, thus avoiding the trap of trying to “clean up” all of the messiness, oddness or “brokenness” of people. Sometimes, just moving forward is enough. Being “different” may always be a part of the equation. And different… well, different is not synonymous with “bad” or incomplete.” Releasing Perfection in Healing – Grace Quantock

Health

“Last April, the council created a “Stitch Away Stress” campaign in honor of National Stress Awareness Month. Dr. Herbert Benson, a pioneer in mind/body medicine and author of “The Relaxation Response,” says that the repetitive action of needlework can induce a relaxed state like that associated with meditation and yoga. Once you get beyond the initial learning curve, knitting and crocheting can lower heart rate and blood pressure and reduce harmful blood levels of the stress hormone cortisol.
But unlike meditation, craft activities result in tangible and often useful products that can enhance self-esteem. I keep photos of my singular accomplishments on my cellphone to boost my spirits when needed.” The Health Benefits of Knitting – NY Times

“There’s no shortage of discussion about the factors that contribute to health and how to optimize and improve it. But what is health, really? How do we define it? And can the way we define health actually influence our experience of it?” What is Health? – Chris Kresser

“You may have heard the term “hangry” before — the word for the state of being both hungry and angry. As in: “I’m so hangry that I yelled at my boss. Someone please pass me a banana.”
But it’s not just weird slang. There’s a growing body of scientific evidence that being hangry is a completely real thing — and that low blood sugar leads to bad behavior.” The science of “hangry” – how low blood sugar makes you a monster – Vox

Foodie

What to Do With Citrus Peel – Local Kitchen

“We all know that one of the easiest ways to save money is to eat at home instead of going out. But the truth is, when your food is bland and monotonous it can be hard to work up the willpower to do just that. With a little cooking know-how, though, and a shelf full of flavors to choose from, you can create fabulous home-cooked meals for pennies on the restaurant dollar. You’ll find it easier to stick to your budget and you might even prefer your home-cooked meals to eating out!” How Condiments and Spices Can Save Money – Little House Living

5 Tea Myths that Need to Disappear – Serious Eats

Recipes

Paleo Cinnamon Rolls – Paleo Hacks

Creamy Chicken Stew – Chris Kresser

Seaweed Salad – The Paleo Mom

Slow Cooker Apples with Salted Caramel Sauce – Mommypotamus

AIP Indian Spiced Roast Chicken – Comfort Bites

Spicy, Ginger Cranberry Chutney – Local Kitchen Blog

Old & New On the Blog

Cure by Jo Marchant

Quick Reads May 2016

Drive by Daniel Pink

Make Your Brain Work by Amy Brann

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